Just Carry Me Home Tonight
by LovelyFandomLover
Summary: She shouldn't be happy. Despite being on Earth is the best thing that's happened to her, something about it was terrifying. But that didn't stop her from admiring how green everything was. How fresh the air was. How prickly the wood felt. How nice it was to not be alone. Maybe she wouldn't feel that anxious if she wasn't stuck with delinquents and a reckless leader. Bellamy/OC
1. Birthday Girl

**More In Depth Summary: **_Being in solitude for three years changed Kaya Campbell, for the better and worse. Kaya didn't know what to expect with her life, besides impending death from the Council or herself, but when all the delinquents are forced to go to Earth, a place that is said to not be survival, it changes everything. There, on Earth, she's forced to accept new rules, new people, new environment and new demons that could possibly kill her, unless she starts changing her ways. _

**Warning:**_ Self-harm, depression, sexual content. Eventual Bellamy/OC_

* * *

**Chapter One: Birthday Girl**

* * *

The pencil moved quickly, forming shapes all over the paper. Her hand was aching but she refused to slow down, wanting to finish the drawing before her father woke up. Looking behind her shoulder for the twelfth time to check, she finished with the planet and dropped her pencil.

"Done," Kaya whispered, pleased with herself. She had drawn the entire solar system in less than thirty minutes. She definitely was going to rub it in a certain someone's face who had said she couldn't do it.

Getting up, silently and quickly from her chair, she walked up to their fridge and opened it. In the empty fridge, was her piece of cake she had been saving. Cake wouldn't be the most accurate word for it, just being a piece of bread with a sugar sprinkled over it and some coconut shaving. But because it was her birthday, it was called cake.

She grabbed the piece and carefully moved it so she was able to grab her bag and the cake at the same time. Glancing at the clock, seeing that she was running late, Kaya started walking towards the door, moving the piece of cake in front of her. But as she reached the front she felt someone pull her back. Crap, so close.

"Kaya, where are you going?" her father asked her, his eyes boring whole to her.

Her eyes widened in surprised, having thought he was sleeping. But apparently he wasn't. Taking deep breaths, she looked at him straight in the eye.

"Out." She was relieved her voice came out steady.

"I know. I can see. But where?" he told her.

Kaya glanced at the cake. "I was just going to drop this off. I was going to come back quickly." She made another go for the door but was pulled back by him again.

He shook his head. "Not tonight."

"But I promised I would bring him cake," she protested, thinking back at her promise. She never broke her promises, especially to her best friend. Only friend.

Giving her an uncertain look, her dad grabbed the cake from her hands and placed it in the table.

"Kaya we need to talk," he grabbed her hand and led her to one of the chairs.

"But_—_"

"Kaya sit down, stop being stupid," he snapped.

Immediately, she sat down, feeling fear shooting up. _Don't upset him, just listen. _Her dad squatted in front of her.

She fidget in the chair, wondering if he was going to yell at her. It wasn't the first time she was caught. But he usually would just tell her to ask him and let her go, knowing she would try to get up and leave. But instead he was making her sit and wanted to talk. He never wanted to talk unless_—_

_He's being too nice_ she thought grimly._ He wants something. Dammit. _

Maybe he wanted her to do him another of his 'errands', making her glowered at the thought. He promised he wouldn't do that on her birthday. On her birthday was the only time he tried, when he remembered that he was a father.

"How was today?" he asked her conversationally. Kaya pursed her lips, trying to hide her surprise. This usually wasn't his ways to make her do something. He usually was straight forward and told her what she had to do. _He's definitely up to something._

"It was nice. Thank you for the cake, you didn't have to get me one. I know how expensive they are," Kaya told him politely, knowing well that he loved being complimented, as if her was the best father in the world.

"Of course I had to. You only turn fourteen once and you're my only daughter," he said with a teasing smile.

"What do you want?" she asked suspiciously. Who the hell was this man and what did he do to her emotionally detached father.

"Always to the point," he sighed, seeing she wasn't buying his parent concern act.

"I have somewhere to be... so what do you want?" Kaya repeated, crossing her arms defiantly.

"Kaya," her father said seriously, placing his hand on top of hers. She removed her hand immediately, cringing at his touch. "You know things have been difficult between us for a while."

_Yeah, like since when mom died. Thirteen years ago,_ Kaya thought bitterly, pulling her hand away from him.

To say Kaya and her father didn't have the best relationship was an understatement. He wasn't horrible, like abusive but he wasn't the most affectionate or responsible father. Never hugged her, or called her pet names or remembered to assists to the pageants she was part of or hanged her drawing or told her he loved her. It didn't help their relationship when Kaya was ten, she had found out by a neighbor that when her mother had found she was pregnant, he had been angry. Saying they couldn't afford a child and that even if they could, he didn't want one. So when her mom died, leaving him alone with her must have been a way for karma to pay him.

At her discovery, her resentment changed to hatred. She would barely acknowledging his presence. Same went with him. It seemed to work out fine for them. She barely was in their apartment and when she was there, he was either working or sleeping. The only time they spend time with each other was in her birthday, and it was simply awkward ten minutes before she left to spend the rest of her birthday with people that actually cared about and for her.

"Really? I didn't know," she told him flatly. She just wanted him to tell her what to she had to steal or mess up this time so she could leave.

"You are so much like your mother," he muttered darkly. "Which is very unfortunate."

"That's nice," Kaya said unimpressed. His humor disappeared and it was replace with an urgent one.

"You have to promise me something," he said, his eyes trained to the clock behind her shoulder.

"And why would I do that?" she asked coldly. She wasn't liking how he was acting, it was to suspicious. His kept darting to the door and he wouldn't stop touching her, as if this was the last time he would ever be able to. "I don't owe you anything."

Seemingly ignoring her, his eyes kept darting to the door as if he was expecting someone. "You're my daughter, you know that? My flesh and blood."

"No I did not know that," she snapped, unable to stop herself. Shock went through her spine, this being the first time he had ever said those words. "Because you don't love me. You don't love anybody."

"Kaya," he said sharply. "Right now isn't the time for your judgment."

"Oh it is," she snapped. She had every right to judge him. She had so many thing on him. From his negligence to his illegal's jobs to forcing her to help him. She was mentally preparing herself to clean up his mess again. That was the only time he remembered he had a daughter. "What do you want this time? For me to steal something? Or deliver something illegal? What is it this time?"

"Family will do anything for each other. Meaning helping them in a tough situation," he started. Kaya looked at him cautiously. "We make mistakes and well, I did something that I shouldn't have done and now it's going to get me."

"That's a new one," Kaya gritted, clenching her fists. "What did you do know?"

Her father sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Kaya, I know what you're thinking—"

"No you don't know. You don't know what it's like to have a dad like you. Who doesn't give a shit about me, is never there for me and does all this illegal stuff and can any second come and be floated_—_" Kaya gasped, her mind already coming to the worst. "Are you being floated? Is this is what its about?"

He laughed, shaking his head. "No, thank God I'm not the one to be floated."

"Not the one—What?" She pushed him away from him and got up from the chair. "What do you mean that you're not going to—

"Kaya that whatever happens, you will not mention whatever I made you do, all the dirty jobs and errands and stealing? Do you understand—"

He didn't get a chance to finish. In that moment the door flew open and two guards walked inside. At first she was confused, thinking it was a surprise inspection. She saw her father didn't look surprise.

"What did you do?" she hissed.

"Cleaned up a mistake," he said, causing a painful pit form at the bottom of her stomach.

"Kaya Campbell you're under arrest for theft and assault," said one of the guards. The other one, walked toward her and pulled her away from her father.

"What?" she exclaimed, shaking her head. She looked at her dad accusingly. "You piece of shit. Is this what you were trying to tell me?"

The same guard came back and tried to grab her but she pulled away. "Don't touch me," she snarled.

"Kaya," her dad started. "Remember what I said. Not a word."

"No. Don't. I can't believe it," Kaya said harshly, even though inside she was confused and terrified. She pulled away from the guards again and walked towards her father. "I didn't do anything. And you know it. What did you do?" she asked, her voice harsh and trembling from the anger and fear coursing through her.

"I'm sorry Kaya," he whispered, pushing her away from him and handing her over to the guards. "But I can't take the blame, I'll be floated."

Betrayal filled her. She swallowed, feeling tears sting her eyes. Finally snapping she screamed. "I didn't do anything!" One guard grabbed her around the waist, more tighter and started dragging her out of the apartment.

"No," she screamed, kicking and twisting, trying to get out of the guards grip. "Let me go! You should be arresting him!"

"Kaya. It's alright," her father repeated, not moving from his spot. His face looked relieved, as if he was getting rid of burden. Her, his daughter. "I am really sorry I got caught."

"I hate you so much! I hope you suffer and get floated," she yelled at him, as the guards carried her away, with her still trying to get out of their grip. The guard let her go to be gripped by both arms by both guards. Outside her apartment, to her horror, were a bunch of her neighbors gathered around. All watching in distaste and talking to themselves. She could hear the whispered as she walked past them.

"... such a shame..."

"... stole from..."

"... so young and..."

"Kaya!" she heard her name be shouted out from the crowd of people. She turned around to see who called her name but she was dragged away from the people, not giving her a chance to see who it was. Although she had an idea who it was. "Kaya!" shouted the voice again.

Both guards gripped her arms, walking through corridors. Realizing it was useless, she stop struggling and just let them drag her away to the SkyBox.

Despite her anger and fear, there was curiosity filling her. Kaya had always wonder how the SkyBox looked. It was such a scary fascinating place that had always captured her attention, and know she was about to find out what was behind the mystery. As she entered it, the first thing she noticed was the noises coming from the delinquents. There was clanging, some whooping and laughter. She didn't know it was going to be that loud, she always thought it was going to be eerily silent. But this place full of teenagers, nothing was ever going to be quiet.

She wondered if they knew someone new was being locked up like the rest of them. Her eyes roamed around the prison. It was absolutely huge, the biggest building she had ever seen. They were tall buildings, and rows and rows of identical cells. Guards were everywhere, roaming around the walkways, making sure nothing happened. They led her up and were taking her, to what seemed to be the eleventh floor. She was in between both guards. Her eyes kept darting between them. One of them looked at her and she quickly averted her eyes to the floor. After passing many cells, the guards stop in front of a cell.

_Her cell_.

One of them, stepped forward, and unlocked the door. She stayed in her place and looked back to the guard who was next to her. He gently pushed her inside. The first thing she noticed was the wall in front of her. It was gray, dull and empty. She swallowed, her hands going to her necklace and touching it for reassurance.

The cell was bare, just like her home. It was small with a bed against one of the walls, a toilet in a hidden corner and that was it. In the middle of the room, was one small, circular window on top of the roof. Peering at it, she could see all black with cluster of stars. Kaya wondered if she would be able to see the earth rise.

" ... will be served twice a day, early morning and late afternoon. You'll only leave the cell for showers or a visit to the doctors. You are allowed to have visit twice a week," one of the guard instructed her. "If you assault a guard or cause any problems, you will be placed in solitary confinement and will lose the privilege to receive visits."

She looked at them in confusion, not realizing they had started talking. "Wait. What? I wasn't listening. What will be served twice a day?" she asked in panic.

The guard ignore her and started walking out of the door. The first one got out but the other one lingered inside, the one she made eye contact with. Kaya, for the first time, noticed how young and good looking the guard was. He was probably about nineteen or twenty, tall with blondish hair and blue eyes, that were filled with kindness and warmth. He didn't look intimidating, he looked like someone you could trust, making her not like him. He reminded him of someone she knew too much and it pained her of the thought of that person.

"Hope it was worth it," the guard told her, looking at her sympathetically.

"I didn't do it," she snapped, hating the way he looked at her._ I really don't even know what I supposedly did._

"Look, it doesn't matter if you did it or not. In the end you're here, for the next... How old are you?"

"I turned fourteen today," she said sourly.

He whistled. "What a birthday. Four years you're going to be here. That sucks." She glared at him. "I've seen many delinquents come here, for many crimes. Theft, assault, murder and so many more. But they are all the same in the end."

"We're going to be floated?" she said sarcastically. "Look can you go now? You being here is reminding me even more how much my life sucks and that's saying something cause I have a shitty one."

"Okay, what I'm trying to say is everything is going to be alright. Just because you're locked up in here, doesn't mean you have to lose hope."

"Thanks for the unwanted advice," she muttered, going to the bed and sitting down, examining it. The blanket was at least soft, she noted, softer than the one she had back home. It was sad that this cell was more cozy than her home.

"Why are you still here?" she asked annoyed, still seeing him inside her cell. She cringed at hearing herself refer this place as _her cell_.

He grinned at her. What's up with him and smiling? Aren't guards supposed to be serious and stern, not happy and friendly. "I'm going to be a regular guard here, so I think it's nice if we get acquainted with each other. So there won't be any hostility."

"No I'm good."

"I'm Thomas," he introduced himself, ignoring her objections.

She stared at him blankly, not caring what his name was. "This is where you say your name," he prodded, still smiling.

"Weren't you the one who said I was under arrest?" she realized. "I remember. You pulled me away from my dad."

"Sorry about that. But I had to," he apologized. "It looked like you were about to murder him. Wouldn't want to be also arrested for murder, huh?"

"At least I would be arrested for something I did," she muttered sullenly.

"You're funny," Thomas grinned at her.

"And you're getting on my nerves," she said. He smiled at her. She threw her hands in frustration. "And stop with the smiling. No one smiles like that."

The guard, or Thomas as he just called himself, nodded to himself, probably irritated by her rude behavior but she couldn't bring herself to care. She had gotten arrested on her _birthday_ for something she didn't even commit. She had the right to be rude.

"Alright. Not much of a talker," Thomas realized. Kaya responded by staring at him coldly. "So I'm going to be going." He started walking out of the door when she realized something.

"Wait, wait, I do have a question," Kaya said and he stopped and looked at her expectantly.

"What's up?"

"If I'm on my period and I have an unfortunate accident, can I go twice to the showers?" she asked him, referring to the norm of only going once a day. "And what about the change of clothes?"

Thomas looked at her amused, even if she wasn't joking. He shook his head, laughing. "Good luck Kaya."

"Wait. Is that a no?" she called out.

He got out, locking the door and finally leaving her alone. But that was a mistake, now alone, she could feel everything rushing to her, hitting her with full force. She could feel herself not being able to breathe. Her heart beating so fast, that it was hurting her chest.

_No, not right now,_ she thought horrified.

_Count Kaya! Remember to count!_ a familiar voice echoed inside her.

_One bird. Two birds. Three birds. Four birds. Five birds._

She continued counting, clutching the edge of the bed until she got to one thousand. Her knuckles were whiter than usual, for holding on tightly. She got up shakily, and placed a hand over her heart, trying to slow down her heart beat. Great, she had been inside the cell for less than ten minutes and she already had a panic attack.

Kaya stood in the middle, still trying to regulate her breathing. Despite her best efforts, she could feel her cheeks getting damp. It was all crashing down on her. What just happened?

_Well, first of all, you got arrested, Kaya. Then you had one of your infamous panic attacks._

_But why?_ she wondered. What had her father stolen this time? Was it bad enough that he blamed her? Didn't he care slightly? No, he doesn't, she reminded herself fiercely. He never wanted you.

A horrible thought occurred to her, barely sinking in. She could be in danger of being floated.

_Not until four more years,_ a voice reasoned with her. She choked up at the thought of being inside this cell for four years. She was going to waste those years here, when she had done nothing. What the fuck was she going to do? She was stuck inside here, with a annoyingly happy guard who seemed to want to get chummy with her. She didn't want friends, what she wanted was to get out of here and go back to her normal, boring life with her_—_

_He never got his cake,_ that random thought hit her. She buried her head in her propped up legs, frustrated with everything. Somehow for her that was the worst thing that had happened to her this day. She knew he was there, that he was the one who called her name. At least he knew why she didn't make it.

Moving around the bed, she got under the blanket and curled up, trying to make herself small, hoping to disappear.

* * *

**Three Years Later**

_One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten._

The only sound that came from the suffocating cell was her slow deep breaths. She had been suffering a panic attack and was trying to distract herself.

_Numbers,_ she ordered herself. _Think of bigger numbers._

_One million, five hundred seventy-seven thousand, eight hundred forty-six._

_Twenty-six thousand, two hundred ninety-seven._

_One thousand, ninety-five.._

_Thirty-six._

_Three._

All of those numbers added up to three years. She has been in this fucking cell for_ three years_.

How does she know all this? Well, being in a cell all alone, with nothing to do besides sleeping, pacing around, coming with creative ways to kill herself, she had to find ways to entertain herself.

Kaya knew she was precise. Because exactly three years she was arrested when she was fourteen, the day of her birthday. How is she so sure? It might be because today was her seventeenth birthday. What a fucking great way to start a birthday. Stuck inside a cell, hyperventilating.

At least thinking of those numbers helped slightly but not enough to make her breathing easier. She decided it was time to move from numbers to facts. Trying to recall every fact she knows.

_The human starts off with 270 bones but when reaching adulthood it decreases to 206. It has been 97 years since the Ark was formed and mankind left earth due to the radiation. It's been said there was still 100 years left before it was safe for us to go back to our real home and leave this thing we call home. If you mix yellow and blue, you get green. If you're under 18 and commit a 'crime', you are arrested and placed in the SkyBox. I am left handed. I have lost my ability to interact normally with humans._

She stopped, out of anymore facts but it didn't matter anymore. She could feel air coming out of her lungs easily. It had helped but Kaya needed to make sure she was completely fine. Clumsily getting out of her bed, she did a few exercises. Moving around had always helped her out when she had panic attacks. It focused her body and mind on the exercises instead of what was making her lose it. She started out with stretching, loosening her tense muscles.

After doing all of that, Kaya fell to the floor, laying down on the cool floor, enjoying the chills she was getting from her spine. She could feel her breathing getting normal but still felt the terrifying sensation of not being able to breathe. Kaya hated getting those attacks. Not because she couldn't breathe but because for the rest of day she would be disturbed, thinking about the horrible thoughts that made her lose control.

When that happened, Kaya would distract herself to falling back. Meaning her usual plans, which were to stay in bed until food came, were not happening. She gingerly raised herself up and started crawling to her bed. Going to her bed, she took out her handmade knife. It was a scrap metal that she had torn off from the bathroom, when she had been let out of her cell. Getting out she crawled again to the front wall of the door and propped herself on her elbows and continued her artwork that she's been working on for the last two years.

It was a detailed drawing of a tree. It ran from the top of the wall to down the floor. Currently she was working on the roots. When she would get bored of doing the roots she would go to other parts and add detail. A bird on a branch. Leaves in falling from the tree. Bark sticking out of the tree. She gripped her knife and started her work.

Kaya could have drawn it with charcoal (she even had some) but she wanted it permanent. It was a way to mark her territory. To show that she was there, that she existed. She would scratch, forming the tree more, and brush away the dust that would pile up after a while. She continued the cycle, the noise of metal scratching no longer bothering her. She scratched and scratched the cold, metal floor until her hand ache. Kaya wasn't sure how long she was drawing but it must have been a while. Tired of the silence inside the cell, she started singing.

_"How can I get used to, how can I forget you, will I get used to sleeping alone,"_ she sang under her breathe, her hand moving gracefully across the floor._ "I never used to, how did I get to ever get used to sleeping alone."_

Kaya doesn't remember where she first heard the song, but all she remembers that she connected to it. All her life she had spent alone but knew that one day she would be reunited with the people she loved. _"Tomorrow is a long time. Forgetting so long. I loved you a lifetime. I loved you long. Someday, somehow, somewhere down the line. If you save your heart for mine, we'll meet again, we'll meet again."_

She continued humming the sad melody, thinking of the lyrics as she continued her work. After finishing the root, she decided it was a good time to stop, lunch was coming soon. Placing the knife in its usual hiding place, she stood up. Stretching, Kaya leaned against the wall, counting inside her head.

_One hundred. Ninety-nine. Ninety-eight. Ninety-seven._

Her eyes unwillingly drifted to her small window. Kaya tended to avoid looking at it because she had discovered when she got here, that she couldn't see earth rise so it was pointless to just look at it. It was depressing to just stared at the empty darkness. Besides, she didn't even like stars (how ironic is that) so she wasn't missing much from her view.

_Fifty-four. Fifty-three. Fifty-two._

"Whoo!" she heard someone shout from outside, making her snort_. Fucking delinquents_, she thought affectionately.

Looking at the grey ceiling, she could hear noises coming from the other delinquents. There was a few more shouts and clanging of metal. She could feel her lips curl up into a smile. For some reason hearing the commotion from her cell buddies always put her in a good mood. It was comforting. To know there were other people going through what she was going through. All waiting for their eighteenth birthday to get a review and wondering when their food was coming. Like she was currently.

_Twelve. Eleven. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six__—_

The door opened, like every day, and a guard dropped her food and closed it before she could say thank you. She frowned, disappointed at the different guard. She was hoping it was Thomas. She had so much to tell him. Not really but she needed to talk to someone or else she would go crazier than she already was. Kaya when back thinking at what number she stopped._ Five. Dammit._

"So close," she whispered to herself. It was a game of hers. She would start a countdown around the time when the guards would come and try to see if they would come when she got to zero. She always started at one hundred. At all of the five hundred and sixty six_—_

_Sixty seven,_ she corrected herself.

All those times only two hundred and ninety-two times had she gotten to zero. Her best score was a week with three days straight. She grabbed her plate of food, that look extremely unappetizing but she had learned that it taste way better than it looks, she sat down in the middle of the floor and started eating.

Her mind wondered earlier in the day, when she was trying to breathe. Kaya glared at the wall wondering how it was possible, even after all those years, that day she was arrested still got her like this. She reasoned that it was because many things weren't cleared up. That day she was arrested was always confusing. Apparently, from what Thomas had told Kaya, her father had stolen a few things, someone found out and reported it, probably the owner. Her father panicking he decided that Kaya should pay for his crime. Slyly, the fucking bastard shifted the blame to his daughter, saying she was acting out. Kaya was enraged, betrayed when she found out.

Kaya always knew he was a huge dick but this was beyond words. Not only he was a sleazy cheater, asshole, he was a coward. All the years she had been here, not once had he come and visit her and she honestly was glad. Kaya knew if she saw him, she would try and strangle him. She never found out what he stole but didn't really care. Finding out wouldn't change anything, it might even make her more angry. But she was going to find out, soon, when they would see her for her crimes when she turned eighteen. If it was something big, she would be floated. If it was small she would be allowed to go back and join the rest of civilization.

When she was done with her food, she threw it to the side carelessly. Today she was going to do something she usually never did.

Wait.

She was expecting a visitor today and was waiting for them to come. It was rare when she got visits, they almost never happened but today was different. She always had someone come and visit her on her birthday. To give her birthday wishes and a small but thoughtful gift.

Getting up she sat down in her bed, crossing her legs and idly played with her shirt. Kaya stared at the door expectantly, waiting for the door to be open by a guard, announcing she had a visitor. She was imagining the entire visit in the head. It was almost sad how much she had been looking forward this visit. It's been awhile since she had a visit. Almost five months. It would explain why she was vibrating of excitement in her bed, not being able to stand the excruciating wait.

She passed the minutes by singing out loud, off key or counting since one thousand. But as the minutes led to hours, the door still didn't open. It stayed firmly shut, concealing her in her cell, the one she had spent the last three years and the next year.

_They're just running a little late,_ she tried reasoning. But the small hope she had was getting extinguished as time slowly passed by. She wasn't sure how much time has passed, getting drowsy, letting her head hang when she heard the door open. Startled, she jerked her head and jumped up, excited. In came Thomas, the friendly guard who had irritated her so much when she first met her.

"Are you that hungry Kaya?" he laughed, handing her the plate. "Happy birthday by the way, Birthday girl. Seventeen. Wow, you're old."

"Thanks," she muttered, grabbing the plate. He frowned at her quiet attitude. She usually wasn't like that.

"What's wrong? You got your food and you get to see me. What more can you ask?" Thomas asked, giving her his usual sunny smile.

She tried to hide her disappointed, as she picked her food. "I just thought—"

"Visitors aren't allowed," Thomas interrupted her, already knowing what she was saying.

She looked up, confused. "Why? I didn't do anything," she stopped, thinking over her respond. "Lately. I've been on my best behavior especially for this week—"

"Because it's your birthday. I know, you've told me. For the past month," Thomas said. "But it's not you—"

"It's me," Kaya rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I get it. It's okay. We wouldn't have worked out anyways."

Thomas gave her an unimpressed look. "You sarcastic little shit. Why do you always do that? Definitely going to miss that," he muttered the last part.

"What did you say?

"I mean you never let me finish," he said quickly, averting her eyes.

"Okay. Sorry," she said earning a glare from him, making her cover her smile with her hand.

"But as I was saying. There're no more visits allowed right now."

"Why? Was there another virus outbreak? Are we in quarantined again?" she groaned, remembering the last outbreak.

It lasted five months and it was absolutely horrible. Kaya didn't get to shower for the first two months, with no one allowed to leave their cells. She smelled like sweat, food, and, —to her horror— period blood. It was so revolting the smell, that she later on smelled like throw up, making Thomas panic, thinking she had gotten infected and was dying. It was then when they let her get out of the cell and get checked up by the doctors. She was fine, by the way.

"Calm down it isn't that. So no need to throw up," he said, raising his hands, motioning her to calm down.

"Oh my god. When are you going to let it go? I said I was sorry," Kaya said exasperatedly, her cheeks red from embarrassment.

"When you get me new shoes," he shot back. "I had to throw them away. I couldn't get rid of the disgusting smell."

"How the fuck do you expect me to get you shoes?" Kaya asked him. "If you haven't noticed, I never leave this stupid cell. Unless someone thinks I'm dying."

"It smelled like you were dying," Thomas emphasized. "And you can get your boyfriend to get it for me."

"What are you—Oh. I've told you, he's not my boyfriend. He's my friend," she informed him impatiently, annoyed that they were getting off track. What she didn't know that was what Thomas was trying to do. "You know what, it doesn't matter. We're off topic. Why can't we get visitor?" she demanded.

Thomas hesitated. He looked at his watch, nervously. "Oh look at that. I have to go. I need to bring food to other delinquents." He started walking out of the cell.

"Thomas, no. Why aren't there any more visits?" She grabbed his arm, at

"Look, it's not bad but you'll find out soon. Tomorrow probably, I promise," he assured her but his eyes held an uncertainty. "Now I have to go."

Kaya let him go unhappily. _What was his problem?_ she thought in annoyance. Thomas started walking out when he stopped and turned around. He stilled for a second before he walked up to her and did something he had never done. He pulled her in for a hug.

She froze not sure what to do. Kaya didn't return the hug until she realized he wouldn't let go. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around him. It felt nice, it was the first time in a really long time (four months and twenty-three days) someone had touched. But it's been four years since someone hugged her. She definitely has missed the comfort of human contact, it made her choke up, at being alone again. Reluctantly, Thomas let her go. He placed his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I just— Are you crying no?" he frowned when he saw her eyes red.

"No," she said, cringing at how scratchy her voice sounded. "I'm fine. Why'd you hug me?"

He shrugged, smiling at her. "Because it's your birthday. Seventeen. It's a big one."

"Not really. Eighteen is the big one," she disagreed. "Besides, you've never done that before in my other birthdays." And she wasn't lying. He just would wish he happy birthday and give her a cookie. But that was good enough for her, it wasn't necessary for him to do that. But he insisted, saying that he did it with pleasure.

Thomas shrugged again. "I got a little sentimental. You're growing up so fast. I remember when you were just a sullen and moody fourteen-year-old and now you're sullen and moody seventeen years old. So much has changed," he sighed dramatically.

Despite her suspiciousness, she nodded. "You're so weird."

Thomas looked at her strangely again. He looked like he was assessing her, trying to remember every detail of her face. She felt uncomfortable, feeling a familiar sensation but not sure what it was. It took her a few seconds to realized, why it was familiar. He was looking at her the same way her father was looking at her, moments before she was arrested. It was a look that was predicting doom. "Are you sure that's all?" she asked cautiously.

Thomas forced a smiled. "Yep. That's it." He bit his lip and casually asked, "But just curious, do you remember those fighting techniques I showed you?"

"How can I forget? You left me bruised for a whole week I couldn't get out of the bed," Kaya snorted.

A few months after she had gotten arrested, Thomas tried to get her to warm up to him by teaching her how to fight. She had been resistant, refusing to get out of her bed. But with his irritating persistent, she got up grudgingly and let him showed her. And it worked. She had opened up to him but shut down when he punched her in the jaw by accident when he was teaching her about dodging. She retaliated by breaking his nose, placing her in solitary confinement for one month only because Thomas had persuaded the officers it was a misunderstanding.

And that's how they started their beautiful friendship, or so that's what Thomas called it. She would like to refer it as an overbearing acquaintance that was trying to climb a wall to a friendship.

"Right. I forgot how much you sucked."

"Hey, I got better. I manage to kick your ass a few times," she reminded him.

"That's good. But you remember everything?" he persisted. Kaya was confused why he cared about this.

"Yes. Thumb inside fist..."

"Outside," he sighed. "It's outside Kaya, inside it will break."

"Whatever, protect face or game over. Tilt wrist for more strength in punch. Collar is most vulnerable place to hit. Uppercut for chin or something like that. Increase power by twisting your midsection," she listed off some of the important things he taught , to according to him, was everything. She didn't understand why he wanted her to learn all of this. Who was she going to fight? Her shadow? And if she did get released, she couldn't fight because she would be floated. Fighting was against the law.

"Why does it matter? I'm not going to fight any one."

"It matters. Never forget. Those things can save your life," he said urgently. She had a feeling he was hiding something from her. "Do you remember the most important thing?"

"Don't freeze," Kaya said, looking at him curiously. "Seriously, what is up with you today? You're acting stranger than usual."

"No, I'm not. I'm just testing you," Thomas waved her off. "I really have to go now."

"Testing me?" she asked, but he simply waved her goodbye and opened the door. "Fine then. See you tomorrow?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "Things are going to be different, so I won't be around that often."

"Oh, well, I'll see you later?"

He didn't say anything, simply nodded in acknowledgment and closed the door behind him, not looking back. She looked at the door, confused at his behavior but not concerned over it. She was more focused on the fact that no one was receiving visitors, she wondered why. It was something to worry about if it wasn't for a quarantined.

But Kaya was more relieved that the reason no one came today was because of that. That means they didn't forget, she thought happily as she munched on her food. She paced around, a habit she had while eating, one hand holding the plate and the other hand picking the food. She saw that Thomas had placed two cookies, instead of one.

_What did he do this time?_ she thought, suspicious of the special treatment. She was about to eat the second cookie, when she straightened up, thinking of something. What if he did something that got her in trouble and that's why she didn't get any visitors. Maybe that's why he was acting strange. He refused to tell her why there were no visitors.

_That son of a bitch_, she thought angrily, glaring at the cookie.

She debated to eat or throw it away, not wanting to eat his guilt food. In the end, her hunger won. She devoured the last cookie, enjoying every bit. Throwing her plate to the ground, she awkwardly toed of her shoes and kicked them to the floor, and made her hair into a side braid. Finally, she laid down in her bed, somehow exhausted. She had forgotten how draining it was to interact with people. Especially obnoxiously sunny people like Thomas.

Getting comfortable, she closed her eyes and tried clearing her mind. Moving around the bed, Kaya found herself having difficulty falling asleep. It wasn't because of the noise of the delinquents, she had gotten use to it long time ago but a nagging feeling in her head. It was strange this birthday, Kaya always got a visit and this year, for the first time, she didn't, for an unexplained reason. She moved around the bed, her body and mind restless. She needed to relax or else she wouldn't fall asleep and may have another panic attack. So she did what she knew worked best to calm her down. Count.

_One more year in this cell._

_Two friends, I have._

_Three times I have hurt myself in this stupid cell._

_Four years I have —and will— spent in the Sky Box._

_Five months had passed since I've had a visitor._

_Six is my favorite number._

_Seven minutes old I had been when my mom died._

_Eight birds I have drawn in my tree._

_Nine times I have pissed of a guard._

_Ten times had I cut myself in my right wrist._

_Eleven was the year I received my first kiss._

_Twelve was the number of stations that had formed to make the Ark._

_Thirteen panic attacks I have suffered this month._

_Fourteen was my age when I got arrested._

_Fif—_

She gave a tired sighed. She didn't manage to get to fifteen when her brain got muddled and her eyes gave out, closing and allowing herself to get swallowed by her exhaustion. However, her last hazy thought wasn't a number but a line from the song.

_"How did I get to ever get used to sleeping alone."_

* * *

**Hello, to anybody reading, this is a new story that I am starting (when I really shouldn't for I have so many things to do) and I'm super excited to do it and see how it goes. Because I have small outlines of the next's chapters. This chapter was a little boring (or not depends on how you see it) but I wanted to introduce that character.**

**I would love to hear what you thought of this chapter. Whether you like it or not. I want to see if I should continue writing it. I really am hesitant about this one and hope for the best. Reviews will be appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the 100, sadly. And I also don't own the song. It's called "Sleeping Alone" by Lykke Li.**


	2. This Can't Be Happening

**Thank you so much for the follows, favorite and reviews! You're amazing!**

**I changed a few things last chapter, like the character names and a few sentences.**

* * *

**Chapter Two: This Can't Be Happening**

* * *

**Two Months Later**

_Two. One. Zero. Okay. Where's the food? I'm starving._

Kaya waited for the door to open but nothing happened which made her frowned in confusion. Had she started too early? No, it wasn't possible. She was positive that this was the time she got her food. It wasn't the first time Kaya underestimated her time.

She would start her countdown to early and had to wait a few awkward seconds until the door opened. She decided to start counting again, but with fifty instead of one hundred. Going slowly, she recited the numbers, getting closer to zero.

_Four. Three. Two. One._

Glancing at the door, she stalled to get to zero.

_One and twelve quarters. One and eleven quarters. One and ten quarters. One and nine quarters._

The door wasn't opening.

_One and a half. Zero._

_What the hell? _She stomped impatiently. Where was her food? She was getting hungry. This was one of the most exciting things that happened to her every day. It was her only time where she got to see someone and get a small glimpse outside of her walls.

Kaya wondered if they were delaying her food as punishment for her behavior from yesterday. She didn't see what was wrong with asking for more toilet paper. But maybe she should have used different word choice instead of using the words 'wipe my shit.' But it wasn't her fault the stupid guard asked the stupid question why did she want it.

Speaking of stupid guards, Thomas was a liar. Two months have passed since her birthday and she hasn't seen Thomas since her birthday. It wasn't unusual for her not to see him some time but a part of her felt like something was wrong.

Taking deep breaths, Kaya took out her knife from it's hiding spot and played around with it. She tried to twirl it but it fell to the ground, clattering, making her grimace. She was really bad at handling it. Even after two years she sucked. Picking it up again, she tried a simple trick with it.

She did that for the next few minutes, trying to ignore the rumbling noise her stomach was making. Halfway in the air the knife and ready to catch it, the door flew open, startling her, making her drop the knife.

"Oh, crap."

Quickly she grabbed the knife and hid it behind her back, over her shirt. Kaya flinched at the cool metal touching her skin. Inside came two officers, looking menacing, especially the one with a taser in his hand. She watched them cautiously.

"So I'm guessing you two aren't delivering lunch? Huh?"

"Prisoner two six eight. Turn around and face the wall," ordered one of the officers.

"What?"

"Turn around and face the wall," he repeated.

Kaya's hand went behind her back where her knife was. She had no idea what she would do with it, knowing she would barely be able to harm them but it reassured her to feel the sharp edges. Slowly, Kaya got up but didn't turn around, weary of having two armed officers in her cell.

"Why should I do that?"

"Turn around," simply said the guard, ignoring her question. Kaya looked at the other guard, who she was partially familiar with, questioningly and he nodded in encouragement. Again, looking at them wearily, Kaya did as she was told.

"Why are you here?" she tried again. This had never happened, not even when they were in quarantine. "Am I in trouble?"

"Extend your right arm," commanded the guard, who went in front of her. Glancing back she saw a box full of what look like metal bracelets that were about four inches wide. One of the guards picked one and extended his arm. Kaya felt a surge of defiance towards them and shook her head vehemently.

"What it's for? What's going on?"

The guards were getting impatient at her willingness. "Extend your arm. Now."

Kaya could hear the commotion coming from outside. It sounded like she wasn't the only one that this was happening. She shook her head, turning around. "No. I won't. Unless you're telling me what's going on and what that for. Why is there a lot of noise outside?"

One of the guards grabbed arms from behind. She panicked, her mind going back three years ago when she was being arrested.

"No—"

But she felt the guard shoved her to the floor. and pin her down, immobilizing her. She tried kicking him off, but he was too heavy. The other guard came and grabbed her right wrist and suddenly felt something pierce her skin, making her cry out in pain.

"Stope," she hissed to the floor. "Get off me."

"I got this," broke in a new voice. "Let her go. They need more guards below. A few rowdy kids are running."

The guard that was pinning her to the ground let her go. Kaya turned around to see Thomas standing by the doorway, she stood up shakily, examining the ugly wristband. As soon as the other guards left, she went to Thomas, gripping his arm, her emotions running all over the place.

"What's going on? What is this? What the hell is going on?" Thomas pulled away from her and for the first time in three years of knowing him, he wasn't smiling. His dark expression made her gulp. Kaya didn't have to ask to know that already something terrible was going to happen to her. "What is going to happen to me?"

"Kaya, listen to me. You need to calm down."

"They're going to float us, aren't they? Did they finally get tired of us?

"No, you're not getting floated." She took a shaky breath but didn't get a chance to be relieved. "You're just being sent down to Earth, all of the delinquents."

"What? What? What—?" Kaya could feel the blood rushing through her ears, not expecting to hear that. "No. No. No! They can't do that. No! It's not habitable until the next one hundred years. We're all going to die. We're going to die."

"You'll still die if you stay here."

Kaya looked at him in confusion. "I'm going to get floated if I don't go?"

"No. The Ark is dying. We only have a few months left before the oxygen is gone," Thomas face grave, making him look old and tired. "There trying to save you. All of you. All of us."

"By killing us? Yeah, that's great," she snapped.

"No Kaya. It's a chance. A second chance to live," he sounded like he was trying to convince himself than her.

"Second chance? We're going to die," she choked up. "I don't want to die right now. And especially I don't want to get killed by radiation."

"It's going to be okay. You're not going to die. Because you're smart and know a lot of things, like fighting."

"Really? Fighting. No, I don't," Kaya snorted, finding it amusing that he thought knowing how to fight was going to protect her from radiation.

"Kaya, you need to try."

"Okay, let's say radiation doesn't kill me. What else can kill me? Oh, wait, I know," she laughed bitterly. "There are murderers, psychos, rapist, and people twice my size. Not to mention we have no idea what's down there. Mutations and shit like that. How am I going to be okay?" she shouted, gripping her head, feeling light-headed.

Thomas took a step closer and gripped her by her arms. "Get close to the people who influence. There is always going to be a leader in a group. It's a natural response for people to seek a leader, someone to guide them. Those people will be your safety net," Thomas advised her. "Doesn't matter if you agree with their ways but you need them."

"Oh my God. You're serious. This isn't a joke. This is happening." Kaya felt like falling to the floor but at the same time, she wanted to take the opportunity to leave. "I can't believe this is actually happening."

"I'm sorry." Thomas pulled her into another hug. She clutched his jacket, feeling a lump inside his arm. Kaya pulled away.

"What is this?" She poked the lump.

"Oh. Right, I forgot. This is for you." He pulled out, what turned out to be, a jacket and handed it to her.

"What is this for?" she asked in distaste, holding it with the tips of her fingers. It was a navy blue jacket with the slippery material.

_The color is nice,_ she thought. _But the rest isn't. I don't want it._

"You're going to need it," Thomas told her, seeing her expression. "So put it on."

Reluctantly, she listened to him and slipped the jacket on, that fit her perfectly. It was comfortable and warm, making her wonder how was Earth going to be.

"It's ugly but I like the color," she started, running her fingers through the material.

"I knew you were going to say that. I made sure to get that color. It makes your eyes pop out," Thomas gave her a half smile.

Kaya tried to return it but couldn't. She was going to miss Thomas thoughtfulness. And his smiles. Oh God, it sounded like one them were going to die. She just hoped then it wasn't here. But the odds weren't looking good for her.

"Come on, you have to go to the dropship." Thomas started pushing her out of the cell.

"Wait. I need to grab something ..." She went to her bed and pulled out something from under the pillow quickly, shoving it in one of her pockets. Thomas looked at her curiously when she went towards him but didn't say anything.

The chaotic noise didn't do justice to what was happening outside. All the delinquents were being pushed, shoved or dragged out of their cells. It seemed like none of the delinquents knew what was going on. She could see guards fighting to control the restless delinquents. They were all punching and kicking, not giving up without a fight. A few of them were trying to escape the guard clutches to be shot by a tranquilizer.

She turned around to see Thomas with other guards. "Are they taking all of us right now?"

He nodded. "I'm not going to be able to go with you at the dropship, I actually wasn't even supposed to be at this level but I sneaked in."

Kaya felt her throat tighten. This was it. The time she was going to see Thomas. Kaya nodded curtly. Thomas smiled sadly. "May we meet again." He pulled her into a hug.

She hugged him back tightly, fear and anxiety taking over her. "May we meet again," she agreed, although she knew he would be the last time they would see each other. And that was enough to make her fall apart.

"Don't cry," he ordered. "If you cry, I will. And that will ruin my reputation for being a tough guy."

She laughed, finding it ridiculous. "I'll miss you."

"Me too," Thomas whispered. "Don't do anything stupid."

Pulling away from him, she was pushed by another guard towards the lower level, where all the delinquents were being herded too. Looking behind her shoulder she could see Thomas standing by her former cell and closing the door.

* * *

Kaya fiddled with the orange belts. Everyone around her was chattering, either of excitement or fear. Some weren't talking at all, being unconscious or looking ready to throw up. She was currently of the state of throwing up or screaming. The dropship was filled with teenagers from the ages of what looked like twelve to seventeen. There were a few of the delinquents that she recognize from her station.

"Hey, hold up. Can I sit next to her?" said a voice. She glanced up and felt a smile grow. God how much she has missed him.

"Finn," she beamed at the boy. He had changed so much since they last saw each other, even if was not even a year that has passed.

He grinned at her. "Hey, Kaya. It's been a long time. Now can you let me go? I can sit down, so let go." He jerked his arm from the guard and plopped down next to her. The guard glared at him but didn't force him to move.

"Put on the seat belts," ordered the guard before he left them. Finn looked around the seat and saw the seat belts, looking at them strangely. Kaya smiled at his confusion.

"It's been awhile since we've seen each other. Like what, nine months?" he said while putting the orange straps around him.

"Two hundred fifty-one days," Kaya corrected, knowing the exact days they haven't seen each other. He gave her a look. "Eight months and seven days."

Finn rolled his eyes. "You could have just said that."

"But I didn't."

"Cause you enjoy watching me suffer," he said sarcastically.

Kaya shook her head, ready to disagree when the pod jerked and the air around them felt rushed. They must have launched them.

"I think we just got launched," she said her thoughts out loud, gripping the straps. The thought of them hurtling to earth finally made her realized that this was actually happening. They were actually going to Earth. It was a scary and exciting thought.

"I'm so glad you're here. It makes being here much more bearable," she admitted, not looking at him, instead staring at the few delinquents that were strapped against the wall, standing up. She was glad that she got a seat because she was positive she would have lost the feeling of standing.

She could feel Finn smiling at her. "I was excited when I found about this. They said all of the delinquents in the Sky Box were being sent to Earth. And I remembered that you're one, meaning I was going to get to see you. I was actually shouting your name until one of the guards hit me on the head, telling me to shut up," he pointed to the back of his head where he was hit.

"Oh my god," she exclaimed, looking at him in horror.

"It's fine. I found you. You couldn't hear me shouting your name?"

"No, but to be honest I could hear nothing. I was too busy freaking out."

"Really? I find this kinda exciting. If you ignore the possibility of dying by radiation or fire, it's pretty exciting. It's better than being stuck in the Ark. What does the Ark have that the doesn't have?"

"What about no radiation? Or what about Raven?" Kaya pointed out.

Finn's smiled faltered at the mention of his girlfriend, who was still in the Ark, unaware that her boyfriend and best friend were being sent to their possible deaths. She's going to be devastated.

Raven and Finn were her best friends, only friends. She met Finn first when both were four and then, later on, meet Raven but wasn't as close to her as she was with Finn. When he started dating Raven, after Kaya got arrested, the girl became one of her closest friends. She actually had been the one who had told her about Finn's arrest.

* * *

_"What?" she said, feeling the room spin around her._

_"Please don't be mad at me. I was going to get floated if he didn't take the blame. I didn't want to agree but he insisted and..." Raven continued rambling, nervous about making one of her best friend mad. She understood how much Finn meant for that girl. He was there when their parents weren't there. He was their savior, in some way._

_"I'm not mad," she interrupted her. "I'm actually not surprised this happened."_

_"Getting caught?" Raven asked confused but looked relieved._

_"No. That he would make your dream come true and take the blame. It's Finn we're talking about. Remember the time I broke my nose for running into the wall of his room and he apologized for my accident, as it was his fault that I was a dumbass and didn't see the wall."_

_Raven laughed, trying to ease the tension. "You're right. But I know how much his visits mean to you. But I will visit you. And tell you how he's doing. I'm so sorry."_

_"It's fine," she swallowed, even if it wasn't, it never was going to be fine. "It's not the end of the world."_

* * *

And it was. For her, he had been her world for such a long time and him being arrested for a big crime that will get him floated broke her. She had spent the week after the news crying, refusing to eat or do anything. Kaya had come to resent Raven. It was her fault they had taken Finn from her. He was the only person that visited her.

But Thomas, who had grown worried over her, telling the girl to not be angry for something they had no control over it. After a lot of coaxing and yelling, she had forgiven Raven (who wasn't aware of the anger she had towards her), who kept her promise and come every week, giving her updates how Finn was doing.

She dug her hand into her pocket feeling the soft material of the beanie. Pulling it out, she threw it to Finn. "Here you go. As promised, I'm giving it back," she grinned at him.

"Crap, I can't believe I forgot about this. Oh, by the way, happy late birthday," Finn grinned at her. "Seventeen, wow."

"Thanks. Do you have my present?"

She perked up, completely forgetting about everything around them. Every year, ever since the became friends they would give each other presents. The presents varied each year, sometimes it was something grand like chocolates or shirts. Other times it was as simple as a drawing or sticker. But all presents were special. Kaya would put them in a box under her bed, back when she lived with her dad.

When Kaya got arrested, she thought their tradition was going to end. But there surprised she had when Finn visited her hat day with her present; a simple green beanie. It was Finn's but he had said that she wanted her to have it. To remember him. And that when she got out, Kaya was going to have to give it back to him.

After that, he never failed to give her something on her birthday. She also tried to give him something on his birthday but it was impossible with being imprisoned. Somehow she managed each year. They were a little pathetic (one time she gave him her sock) but at least it was something. When he got arrested she was sure that was the end of their birthday gifts.

But Kaya again had underestimated Finn Collins. He always found a way. He had managed to enlist his faithful girlfriend to be the carrier pigeon for the two of them. That's what she was waiting for her birthday. For Raven to come and give Kaya her present from Finn. But due to the circumstances, she never received it.

Finn laughed at her eagerness. "I swear sometimes I think you're only my friend for the presents."

She punched his shoulder awkwardly, difficult due to being right next to each other and strapped. "Are you going to give me my present or not?"

His smiled faded and apologized, "Kay, I'm so sorry but I don't have it. Raven had it and she was supposed to give it to you on your birthday. But with the whole no visitors allowed last week, she never had a chance to give it to you. Kaya, I swear to you, I will find you something here and make you a present."

Kaya wasn't really paying attention anymore to what he was saying, the dropship was shaking violently, making her hit her head to the side. She screwed her eyes shut, counting down, trying to distract herself from their impending death. _Eighty-six. Eighty-five, Eighty-fo__—__oh shit, we're going to die._

"You still count?" Finn asked, in slight disbelief.

"What?" she gasped breathlessly, gripping her seat belt tighter.

"You were counting. You only count when you're freaking out or bored. And I doubt you find dying boring," he said and flinched at the shaking dropship. "Shit, this is bad. Real bad."

"Why are you surprised? You're the one who taught me to do this," she said through ragged breaths. _Seventy. Sixty-nine. Sixty-eight._

"Hey, it's okay." He reached over and rubbed her arm. "Continue counting. What number are you at?"

She racked her brain to remember. "Uh— I think, I think, maybe sixty-six."

"Good. Sixty-five. Sixty-four. Sixty-three," Finn counted with her. She smiled at him gratefully. Together they counted slowly until she was able to breathe normally.

"Four. Three. Two. One." She exhaled, feeling slightly better.

"See, you're alright. Can't believe it still works." Finn rubbed her clench hand, making her pry them open and allow blood flow through her fingers.

Chancellor Jaha faced appeared across the monitors._ "Prisoners of The Ark, here me now,"_ he started._ "You've been given a second chance, and as your Chancellor, it is my hope that you see this as not just a chance for you, but a chance for all of us, indeed for mankind itself. We have no idea what is waiting for you down there. If the odds of survival were better, we would've sent others. Frankly, we're sending you because your crimes have made you expendable."_

"Your dad is a dick, Wells," a voice shouted. Various of the delinquents agreed, Finn being among them.

"His son is here?" Kaya asked, surprised.

"Looks like being the son of the Chancellor doesn't get you special treatment," said Finn making Kaya snorted.

Chancellor Jaha continued talking, unaware that he was being bashed,_ "... those crimes will be forgiven, your records wiped clean."_

"What?" Kaya said, looking at Finn excitedly. "Is he serious?"

"What does it matter if were killed by radiation?" muttered Finn, not looking pleased.

Kaya frowned, realizing he was right. They were going to be dead anyways, so what was the point of 'forgiving' their crimes? It seemed like they were instead being punished by sending them to their horrible, painful impending death.

Finn saw her frown and poked her arm. "Hey check this out. Guess what excuse I used to get arrested." Unbuckling himself, he floated out of his seat, moving around.

"Finn! What are you doing?" she hissed, but couldn't help laughing.

He grinned triumphantly, pleased at making her laugh. He winked at her before floating off. The other delinquents noticed him, pointing at him and laughing.

_"The drop site has been chosen carefully. Before the last war, Mount Weather was a military base built within a mountain. It was to be stocked with enough non-perishables to sustain 300 people for up to two years..."_

"Spacewalk bandit strikes again," shouted a voice, cheering Finn on.

"Go, Finn! Check it out," another shouted. Everybody laughed. Kaya smiled but she wished he was sitting down, it made her nervous seeing him in mid-air. Any moment they were going to hit Earth's atmosphere and she knew that Earth has gravity.

"Check it out. Your dad floated me after all," Finn grinned, floating horizontally and crossing his arms, told the son of the chancellor, Wells.

"You should strap in before the parachutes deploy," Wells told Finn seriously, who didn't take him seriously.

Two other guys, seeing how cool it looked to be floating, followed Finns lead. That seemed to upset the girl next to Wells.

"Hey, you two, stay put if you want to live," the blonde girl shouted at them. Kaya rolled her eyes. What a kill joy.

_"Mount Weather is life. You must locate those supplies immediately..."_ Jaha continued to drone on but no one seemed to be listening, his voice sounding far off with the pod shaking.

Finn was looking at the blonde girl. "Hey, you're the traitor who's been in solitary for a year."

Kaya's eyes widened, now knowing who was that bossy blonde girl. Clarke Griffin. Finn had mentioned her in one of his visits. She had been arrested about a year ago while her father had been floated. When Clarke would turn eighteen she would have had the same faith as her father. She wouldn't have a review as the others. Like her and the rest of the delinquents who commits minor crimes.

"You're the idiot who wasted a month of oxygen on an illegal spacewalk," Clarke shot back, looking at him annoyed. Kaya frowned, realizing how much people didn't like Finn for the accident that got him arrested.

"But it was fun," he grinned. "I'm Finn."

_"Your one responsibility is to stay alive,"_ was the last thing Chancellor Jaha said before the monitor went black.

Clarke looked away from Finn and tried again to reason with the other two guys, "Stay in your seats."

All a sudden the dropship shook violently. Making people scream and the three boys floating fall down violently.

"Finn!" Kaya shouted horrified. The entire ship rattled making her hit her hit her head she saw black spots and could feel a throbbing pain. But she didn't care. All she could focus was on Finn, whether he was alive or... She made a choking sound, not being able to think of the other possibility. He couldn't be, he just couldn't. He was the only thing she had left. The rest had abandoned her or died.

_Focus__. Don't think about it. Just think numbers. One hundred. Ninety. Eighty. Seven - Oh, fuck. We're going to die! _she screamed inside her head. There was no way they were going to survive, the pod was shaking violently. Her hands had death tight grip on the straps, as the pod shock many rattling seconds the dropship stopped moving. She tried of loosening her grip but it was impossible.

Her eyes darted around, finding the entire pod silent except with their heavy breathing and a remark of kid.

A loud clicking sound came from their belts releasing them. Everybody jumped up and started moving around, looking for a way out. Kaya slowly let go of the harness and got up, pushing through the crowd, looking for Finn. After the crowd dispersed a bit, is where she found him on the floor.

"Finn!" she ran to him and was overwhelmed with relief when she saw that he was fine.

"I'm okay," he grumbled, getting up slowly. "Shit."

She pulled him into a bone-crushing hug. "Thank God you're fine."

His laughed came out muffled. "Kay let go. You're going to be the one killing me."

She flinched and let him go quickly. Finn shook his head, smiling when it disappeared. He pushed her to the side and started walking towards an area.

"What are you -" she stopped when she saw him crouch down towards a body. It was one of the boys that were floating. Laying on the floor in a position someone alive couldn't be.

"Finn?" asked Clarke, coming from behind her.

He shook his head, his face full of guilt.

Clarke walked away from them, her attention drawn to something else. Kaya crouched down next to Finn and pulled his hand away from the body. She gripped his with both of hers, pulling him up with her.

"Finn. It's not your fault," she said softly.

He shook his head. "They saw me and followed me. If it weren't for me -"

"Stop it. They made a choice, that you had no influence. If you want to blame someone, blame Jaha. If it weren't for him, they wouldn't have been in the dropship to make that stupid decision."

She got up, pulling him with her. He still looked guilty but nodded in agreement, looking at their clasped hands. He placed his other hand on top of hers, stroking it lightly before pulling them away.

"Come and let's go and see what the commotion is about," Finn pushed her towards the ladder. Both climbed down to the crowded bottom part of the pod. There was a crowd of delinquents in front of the door, where it looked like Clarke was arguing with a guard. They couldn't hear much what they were saying, from all the noise and how far away the were.

"Why are we still here?" she asked to no one in particular.

"Blondie thinks there is radiation and it could kill us, so we should stay inside," someone answered her question.

"And being here, all 98 of us, wouldn't kill us?" Kaya said in disbelief. Everybody had been locked up inside for their entire life, and now they had the opportunity to get outside, and this blonde girl was refusing, afraid of radiation.

"Not everybody thinks like you Kay," Finn laughed as Clarke continued arguing with the guard.

"Ugh," she hit her head against a wall, in frustration.

"Bellamy," a soft voice stood out from the crowd that grew silent. The guard, or Bellamy, turned around slowly, a look of dawning in his face.

"Oh my God," he said softly. "Look how big you are."

Kaya, frowned at how weird that sounded but sympathize with both of them, when she saw a girl walked toward the guard and hug him tightly, clearly knowing each other pretty well. She understood the feeling of seeing someone they hadn't seen someone in a long time, especially if they were important. That's how she felt with Finn.

"She's hot," Finn muttered. Kaya hit the back of his head hard, making him grunt in pain.

"What? Just stating a fact," he said.

"Just stating a fact?" she mocked him. "Yeah right."

"You're just jealous, but if it helps I think you're pretty hot," he said with a teasing grin.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. Yep, she has definitely missed him. Kaya stared curiously at the guard, who looked young but older than everybody in this pod. What didn't escape her attention at how attractive he was. Or he looked at the girl who hugged him.

"He's hot," she said, grinning mischievously. Finn scowled at her muttering, something along the lines, "... you can but when I do..."

"I'm single. You're not," she reminded him. "I can look all I want."

"Whatever. Isn't he a little too old for you?" Finn asked skeptically.

"Better a man than a child," Kaya said deviously.

"I'm not a child," he muttered, making her look at him funny. When did this become about him? "I'm almost a man."

"Keyword almost. Almost," she stressed the last word.

"No one has a brother," a voice shouted from where they were, breaking them from their conversation.

"Wait what?" Kaya asked Finn whose eyes had grown in surprised.

"That's Octavia Blake, the girl they found hidden on the floor!" another voice shouted.

"What are they talking about?" she asked confused, not understanding the big deal of the girl, although the name sounded familiar. Where had she heard it before?

"I'll tell you later," Finn muttered. They watched as Octavia was about to launch herself to the crown when the guard, Bellamy calmed her down. Whatever he told her worked, because she grinned at him and he went towards the lever, ready to open the door.

Everybody started buzzing with excitement, anxious to get out. Kaya gripped Finn's shoulder in anticipation. This was it. The moment they were all full of excitement and excitement.

Bellamy pulled the lever and the door sprang open. The first thing that happened was the gush of air hit them. From where Kaya was, she inhaled the fresh air, feeling whole and a new sensation. So this is what it felt like to breathe actually air and not what they called 'air' back in the Ark. Kaya went on the tip of her toes over the crowd, to see a blinding brightness. She jumped in her toes, anxious to get out of this suffocating place and to go outside and feel what it is to be outside. Or just be able to actually use the word of being outside.

Finn placed a hand on her shoulder, making her turn her head to look at her. He grinned at her, sharing the same anxiousness of going outside.

"We're back bitches!" screamed Octavia from outside, Kaya not realizing that she had gotten out of the dropship. A loud cheer broke with all of the delinquents running out. They were all pushing and shoving each other to get outside while Kaya stayed rooted in her spot.

"Are you coming or are you staying Kay?" Finn asked waiting for her to get out of her haze.

"You're so impatient," she shoved him playfully but followed him to go outside.

_Outside_. Who ever thought she would ever say that? Kaya jumped up and down in excitement, slapping Finns chest and running out of the pod.

* * *

**I'm sorry I didn't update this story in a while, but I decided to publish it in the busiest time for me. But now things are slowly slowing down, so I will be able to update sooner. Thanks for (hopefully) understanding. I would love if you reviewed to see what you think of this!**

**I'm**** sorry if there're any errors. I will look them over soon and fixed them.**

**Oh, and Kaya's nickname Kay is pronounced as Kai. Like it rhymes with Bye. (I changed her name so many times but this one is final, I promise)**


	3. Welcome To The New Age

**Warning: Self-harm makes an appearance.**

**But other than that, thank you for the follows, favorites and reviews! I'm so overwhelmed with how much people are interested in my story. Happy reading :)**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Welcome to the New Age**

* * *

Kaya lost Finn through the mess of crowd but honestly didn't care or even noticed. She was too busy enjoying the new, beautiful scenery. Trying to soak in as much as she could. Her blue eyes were darting the everywhere. At the bright sky. At the trees. At the grass. At the dirt. At the bugs. At the reflection, the sun made between the trees. At the fire surrounding them. Everything was beautiful and unique.

This was probably the best day of her life.

And it seemed like she wasn't the only one who felt the same. Everyone everywhere was whopping of happiness. Running around and tripping over the roots of the trees. Jumping and hugging each other. Singing and banging against the metal of the dropship. They were all exploring the things that they've heard of and never thought they'd see.

Whenever Kaya thought about Earth, she always pictured it with destroyed ruins, fire, decaying bodies, an ugly fog casting over the sky. But now being here, she was so glad how wrong she was. It wasn't ugly, it was beautiful.

One thing she took special notice was the colors. Everything was so bright, so green. Everything was alive. Use to the Ark, especially her cell, being a depressing gray that didn't show any life, the new colors blinded her.

"Welcome to the new age," she muttered to herself.

And it was. This wasn't the Ark, this was Earth. A new place, a new age. They could make their own rules here. They were free.

Kaya walked toward a huge tree, with red bark and branches sticking out. Gingerly she touched it and laughed when she felt the rough material. Her laugh was hysterical, between disbelief and happiness. She had just touched a tree. Kaya had always found trees mesmerizing. Their majesticness, their colors and how they changed over the course of the seasons. How tall and strong they were.

She remembered dragging Finn when they were children to see the only tree in the Ark. Finn would complain, saying that they already went a few days ago and that it was boring to just stare and not touch. He would threaten to leave her when she refused to leave after spending hours staring at the small tree, memorizing it's curves and bumps and color.

_"Kay, if you want to stare it so much take a damn picture or draw it. I want to go and this is boring,_" Finn would complain impatiently, to the point where he would stomp around her until she hit him.

But she didn't care, seeing was enough and she knew that Finn would never leave her. He never followed through his threats. It was one of the things that she had missed when she got arrested; visiting the Arks tree.

A loud noise caught her attention. It was coming from behind, near the dropship. Kaya could see a crowd forming and chanting "Fight, fight, fight."

Kaya rolled her eyes, finding it unbelievable that they barely have been here for a few minutes and a fight had already started. But she shouldn't be surprised. They were delinquents after all. Some of them were arrested for fighting. Walking towards the crowd that was dispersing already, Kaya could see that the fight was over.

_Great,_ Kaya thought. She had missed the fight. First interesting that has happened on Earth and she had missed it, typical of her. Turning around and not looking where she was going, Kaya crashed against someone.

"Crap. Sorry," she apologized to the unknown figure.

"It's fine," muttered a familiar voice.

Kaya turned to see Octavia Blake, the girl who hugged the guard, running her hand over her head where she had hit her accidentally.

"Are you okay? Did I hit you hard?" Kaya took a step towards her, worried has had caused more damage than she thought.

Octavia waved her off, halting her. "It's fine, I was just distracted."

"By what?"

"Him." Octavia grinned pointing to a guy. She turned to see Finn, milling around with a few delinquents, clearly enjoying himself.

"Yeah, he's eye-catching," said Kaya, amused at Octavia fawning over Finn. She knew her best friend was good looking but didn't understand how they would trip over him. He was actually annoying once they met him.

"I know right." Octavia came from her left, standing beside her. "But he's hotter." She pointed to the far off, where a guy was by a small tree near the dropship. "I heard his name was Ezra or something like that."

"He's attractive," Kaya nodded in agreement that time. "What about that one? Cute or hot?" She subtly pointed to another guy that was passing by them.

Octavia pouted her mouth, examining the new guy, debating what fit him better. "Cute," she decided

"I think so too." Kaya smiled shyly at her, and then extended her hand. "I'm Kaya."

Octavia turned to face her fully, smiling. "I'm Octavia," she said, taking her hand.

"I know," Kaya told her, still smiling. "The first person to step on earth since the last one hundred years."

At first, Octavia looked defensive but relaxed when Kaya didn't say she knew her by being the girl that had live under the floor, which Kaya still had no idea what that was about and was glad that she hadn't mentioned it.

"By the way, I loved your choice of words. 'We're back bitches!' Strong and powerful," Kaya praised her.

Octavia beamed, looking absolutely thrilled. "And you're my new friend."

Kaya coked her head, hers eyes shining in amusement while her lips were quirked up. "I'm glad that's settled."

"Octavia!"

"Kaya!"

Both girls turned to the directions where their names were called. While Octavia groaned, Kaya smiled. Finn was waving her over from afar, standing in a huge, fallen trunk.

"Got to go. See your around?" Kaya told the other girl.

Octavia nodded eagerly. "Definitely. See you."

Octavia stayed where she was while Kaya jogged to Finn, enjoying the sensation of moving around.

"Where were you? You disappeared," he accused, jumping of the trunk. "I had to discover Earth all alone."

"I lost you through the crowd, I'm sorry. What are you doing?" Kaya asked him, when she saw that he started hitting his bracelet with a rock.

"Trying to take off this stupid bracelet," he grunted, hitting it over and over again. "Shit! This thing is hard to take off!"

"Why do you think they put these on? Doubt it was for a fashion statement," Kaya wondered, picking on her own bracelet.

"Just to be assholes," Finn muttered, still failing to take it off. "Okay. I give up with mine. Come over here. Let's see if I can take yours off."

Kaya hesitated, not sure if it was a good idea. Not sure that Thomas would have approved. She was positive he wouldn't have wanted her to do that. There had to be a reason for them to put it or else Thomas would have made sure she didn't have one. Finn waved his hand impatiently, seeing her hesitance. "Come on. Don't tell me you like that stupid thing?"

"No," she said lamely. "But are you sure it's a good idea? They put them on for a reason."

"Yeah, and they put us in the dropship because were 'indispensable.'" He jabbed his finger to the dropship. "What do _we_ owe _them_? Nothing. We're dead to them so why keep these on. It's no use to them if were dead."

"But we're not dead," she argued. "We're alive and they also had the hope for us to be alive. Maybe, in a way, we do owe them. We're not stuck in cells anymore."

"Seriously? Since when do you care about them? It was because of the crappy system that you were arrested wrongly and spend three years in a cell. What's it going to be?" Finn asked impatiently.

Kaya frowned but felt pressured to listened to him. Finn was right. The Ark had sent them, the delinquents, here to die, so why should they listen to the Ark? They weren't one of them anymore.

_I'm sorry, Thomas,_ she thought before reluctantly moving towards him and extending her right arm to a grinning Finn.

"I can't believe you still convince me to go with your plans," Kaya muttered. "It's like we're twelve all over again. No scratch that, it's like it's been always. Nothing has changed."

"You love my plans and you know it," Finn argued. "Remember the masquerade? That was fun. And don't deny it."

"Yeah, when I wasn't worried about getting caught by the guards," Kaya snorted but smiled at the memory. It felt a long ago (which she guess it was) when they were sneaking into a party for the big kids. Kaya remembered everything because a week later she was arrested.

He hit the bracelet, causing her to flinch at feeling the metal pierced her skin. "Sorry," he said before hitting it again, being more careful this time.

"So about the sister thing..." she started, curious about Octavia and her brother.

"I can't believe you don't know this. That was a big thing in the Ark."

"Yeah well I was in a cell and my only company was myself. The only scandalous thing that happened was when I got into an argument with myself about what I should draw next."

Finn gave her a weird look. "You're really jacked up."

"I was in a cell for three years. _Three_ years Finny. All _alone_," she emphasized. "You're lucky I didn't lose my entire mind."

"First of all, I hate it when you call me that. I've told you a million times to not call me that_—_"

"Fifi_—_" She was about to say the exact amount but he stopped her, with one last harsh hit to the bracelet. After a few hits, the bracelet had broke open and fell to the floor.

"Fuck," she cried out in pain but felt it go away, relieving her of the pain

"Yes. It's off," he exclaimed, looking pleased with himself. "Finally." He picked it up and examined it.

She rubbed her hand were the bracelet was. "Shit, that hurt. Look, that was pierced in our skin." Kaya could see tiny dots that were blood was starting to seep out. She was hypnotized at the blood and gingerly touched it.

"Like I said. Assholes." Finn straightens up and kicked the bracelet to the side, his final act of defiance to the Ark.

"Yeah, they are. Now about Octavia..."

"Uh, well, as you heard, she has a brother. She was found about a year ago. Lived her entire life under the floor until she got caught and sent to the SkyBox. The mom got floated and the brother disappeared but now made an appearance, as you can see. That's pretty much it," Finn concluded. "Any more questions I can answer?"

"Did you see the fight?" Kaya asked, curious of what happened.

Finn smirked. "See it? I was in it."

"Wait. You were in a fight?" She laughed, not believing him.

"Hey, why are you saying it like that? I can get in a fight," Finn said defensively.

"No you can't," Kaya laughed, finding it hilarious the thought of him hurting someone. "You probably were the one stopping it." Seeing his facial expression, she laughed harder. "Oh my God! You did stop it. That's so typical you."

"And typical you to make fun of me. You're a such a bitch to me. I can fight," Finn grumbled, walking away from her.

"Wait, hold on," she grabbed his hand and pushed him in front of her.

"What are you doing?" Finn asked skeptically, as Kaya tilted his head to a side.

"I'm examining you. I haven't seen you in such a long time and I want to see if you've changed," she explained, her eyes roaming his face. "Like for example, your hair. It's so long." She picked a strand of his hair and pulled it, making a face.

Finn rolled his eyes. "I knew you would make a comment about it. It's not that long. I've had longer."

"Yes, it is," Kaya insisted. "It's got to go. You look horrible."

"Okay Raven," he said mockingly. "You sound just like her."

"Yeah, and you know what else would she do?"

"What?"

She punched his shoulder, making him yelp and rub the spot where she hit him. "What the hell was that about?"

"For getting arrested. For being too nice or more like too stupid."

"Great. Now it's a crime to be a gentleman," Finn grumbled but a genuine smile crossed his face "Now it's my turn."

Doing the same, he squeezed her cheeks with one hand, moving it side to side, commenting that she looked paler than usual. And that her hair was also longer.

"Wait what's this?" Finn grabbed her right arm and pulled the sleeves up, revealing what she hoped he would miss. It was where all her perfect lined scars were. "Kaya, what the fuck is this?" Finn's voice came out strained, trying to control his anger.

"It's nothing Finn. Just scars." She pulled her arm away hastily. "You know I have them."

"I know you have them," he snapped. "But not this many. These weren't there the last time I saw you. You told me you would stop."

"I did stop... but then I was bored," she protested feebly.

Truth to be she had been. Kind of. Kaya had a small problem of enjoying of hurting herself. Ever since Kaya was twelve, she had a fascination making those straight lines across her arms. She had stopped when Raven and Finn had found out and cornered her and yelled at her.

_"You're acting out because of your dad neglectfulness, it's making you want to fill the void of his love with the feeling of pain,"_ Raven had psychoanalyzed her while Finn was yelling about the pain she was causing them. _"You're not only hurting yourself but you're hurting us, the people who love you and don't want you to hurt yourself. Stop being selfish and think about everything. About how this is going to affect you and us."_

Raven had raided her room and threw away anything sharp while Finn had wrapped her bleeding scars. Finding they're pestering annoying, Kaya had reluctantly stopped, busying herself with her drawing, helping Raven with her mechanic job and spending her time with Finn.

And about a year ago, she had lost it. It was months after Finn had gotten arrested. She couldn't handle being stuck inside the cell. It was drying her crazy. The four walls, the bleak colors, the simpleness drives her crazy. She remembered fiddling with her made knife and watching the blue veins going through her pale skin. Slowly she sliced through her skin, watching as the blood slowly began seeping out. The pain made her stop, making her take deep breaths but laughed maniacally when she saw the red.

Finally color. She had gotten up from the floor and slapped her blood across the wall, adding color to her lifeless wall. After that adrenaline rush, she continued doing it. A new line added to her wrist and letting the blood splash around her cell. She would never admit it but a reason she did this was because she was depressed. She was alone, she was stuck inside four walls for a crime that she didn't commit and the people she cared about were outside, living their life.

It wasn't until one day she cut too deep, close to a vain and wouldn't stop bleeding. She had put her bloody wrist over the toilet, letting the blood fall into the toilet, feeling herself grow weaker. A moment, Kaya had honestly thought she was going to die. And the scary part of that thought was that she wasn't scared. She had desperately wanted to get out of this hell hole called her home and what better way than death.

She sat there waiting to die until Thomas came to deliver her food and found her. He had freaked out, throwing her food to the ground and rushing towards her. Kaya had lied and said that she had tripped over the edge of the toilet and cut herself. She knew that he didn't believe her but was grateful that he didn't ask about it. He simply made sure she got it fixed and that it didn't bleed no longer.

That was the last time she had hurt herself.

"So you thought of wasting your time by mutilating your skin. Nice. Real nice," Finn snapped.

"I'm sorry," Kaya said sincerely.

"You promised," he insisted. "You promised the both of us."

"I know." She felt horrible and didn't know what else to say. Kaya leaned forward and hugged him, making him freeze. He stayed still for a few seconds before pushing her away.

"What the hell? Who are you?" he demanded. "The Kaya I know doesn't do hugging. What the hell?"

"I blame Thomas. He rubbed on me," she shrugged, feeling better that he was now focused on something else.

He looked annoyed at the mention of Thomas. "Looks like I've been replaced."

"Aww come on, Finn. Don't be like that."

"No, it's fine. Because I've replaced you too."

She rolled her eyes. "With who?"

Finn faltered for a second, not planning ahead. His eyes darted around, brightening. "Clarke," Finn said confidently. "She's just like you."

She looked at him, offended. "I'm not uptight like her."

He disagreed. "You use to be, not anymore. Prison change you, Kay."

"No, it hasn't." But she knew that she was lying. Anybody could see had become more bitter and quieter. She wished she had changed for the best.

"Yes, it has," he said, his tone teasingly but it caused her to feel irritated. "You're probably not even Kaya."

"Yes I am," she snapped, getting the familiar annoyance at Finn's childishness.

"Fine. The question that only Kaya would know. What's the most stupid thing I've forced you to do?"

"Be your friend." And it was partially true. It was because of his constant pestering that she reluctantly became friends with him. When she first met him, all she wanted was for him to leave her alone.

Finns face broke into a grin. "Yep, it's you. This is the Kaya I sadly know and love."

"Nice. And you're still the irritating Finn that I know and slightly care about." It was nice to go back to their bantering. She had missed it.

"That stung." He placed his hand over his heart.

"You asked for it," she smiled sweetly.

Finn rolled his eyes, making the smart choice to not fight back. Instead, he stood next to her and watched their new environment. As Kaya watched a boy chase after a laughing girl, she realized something.

"You know," she started, looking around the scene around them.

"You know what?" Finn turned his head to her.

"For the first time in three years, I'm glad I got arrested."

"Really?" he asked in amusement.

"Yeah, if I hadn't been arrested, I'd still be in the Ark, going crazy with that stale shit called oxygen and those ignorant people, instead of being down here, with you, breathing actual air. Now that's something to be happy about." She grinned at him.

"Then let's celebrate," Finn grinned at her, getting excited.

"How?" She looked at him curiously, not sure what he wanted to do.

Finn's eyes wondered around when he found what he wanted. He got a mischievous smile and grabbed her hand, taking him with him.

"Where are we going?" She stayed in her place, refusing to go without knowing. Kaya knew they weren't in the Ark anymore and had to be careful of what they did but she still needed to know what Finn was up to. He tended to get crazy ideas. The last one he had, had gotten him arrested.

"To an adventure," Finn shot her a grin, yanking her arm and making her move.

"You're really getting the nickname Spacewalker to your head, aren't you?" she asked him, pulling her hand away from him.

"Come on. It's going to be fun," he said, ignoring her weariness.

"You are aware that whatever you have in mind it's probably stupid?"

"What makes you say that?" he scoffed.

"Because you're you, and we're alone without adult supervision, meaning no rules. People are going to do stupid things, just like you are about to do."

"Will you relax. You need to loosen up and have fun. Stop being too depressed."

Kaya hummed, silently disagreeing with him. But still followed him, not matter how much she didn't want to. Even though time had passed, looked like things were still the same.

Pushing through the crowd of delinquents, it looked like Finn was taking her to the dropship where Clarke and Wells were discussing something. Finn approached Clarke.

"So, Mount Weather. When do we leave?" he asked, stuffing his hands in his jacket.

Clarke looked surprised to see him but looked grateful. "Right now. We'll be back tomorrow with food."

Wells looked at them skeptically. "How are the two of you gonna carry enough food for a hundred?"

"Actually three," Finn stated. "Me and Kaya are going." He pointed back where she was, making Wells and Clarke look at her. Awkwardly she waved at them.

"I guess I'm joining you guys," Kaya said and earned a wink from Finn. She forced a smile, not exactly thrilled to go to an unfamiliar place. But at least she wouldn't be alone. Having Finn by her side eased her nerves.

"Three isn't enough," Wells insisted.

Finn sighed and looked around and grabbed the two nearest guys, one of them Asian and the other had goggles. "Five of us. Can we go now?" he asked, getting impatient.

"Sounds like a party. Make it six." Octavia bounced over to them. Kaya grinned at her, happy to have her to come. But short lived happiness disappeared when her brother came.

"What do you think you're doing?" Bellamy demanded.

"Hanging out with my friends." Octavia shrugged him off.

"Yeah, I don't think so," Bellamy grabbed her arm. "You're staying here with me."

"Come on, Bellamy, stop getting in my way to have fun."

"You're staying here."

"Let her go," Kaya spoke up. Bellamy looked at her as if he was seeing her for the first time. He gave her a glance over and narrowed his eyes.

"What did you just say to me?"

She faltered at his stare. "I mean, let her go with us."

"I don't think so, whoever you are," he dismissed her.

"She's still going to go even if you say no."

"Oh, yeah? And if she does go, who's going to look after her."

"I will. I'll take care of her," Kaya said and placed a hand on Octavia's shoulder. She glanced at the familiar uniform he was wearing. "If I fail, you can punish me. After all, you _are_ a guard?"

Bellamy stared at her, his lips twitching, either of amusement or annoyance, she wasn't sure. "What was your crime?"

"Being too hot," she said flatly.

This time, Bellamy cracked a smile, surveying her. "I can see that."

"Gross," Octavia muttered.

"Great," Kaya said, trying to ignore the embarrassment she was feeling at Bellamy's intense, judgmental stare. "Let's go, Octavia."

Bellamy grabbed her arm, forcing her to face him again. Their faces were inches away from each other. Up close, she could see that he had freckles, unlike Octavia. It was strange that they were siblings when they didn't look alike.

"You are aware, with taking Octavia, you're becoming responsibility of my sister_—_"

"I can take care of myself. I'm not a child," Octavia interrupted but Bellamy ignored her.

"... and if anything happens to her, I will make you wish you weren't alive," he finished giving her a menacing look.

"Trust me, I don't need you to feel like that," she said softly.

Bellamy's eyes widened but a look of understanding appeared on his face. He was going to say something when they were interrupted by Clarke and Finn.

Clarke grabbed Finn's wrist, the one with the bracelet. "Hey, were you trying to take this off?" she demanded.

"Yeah. So?" Finn shrugged, tugging his arm from her.

Clarke looked annoyed. "So this wristband transmits your vital signs to The Ark. Take it off, and they'll think you're dead."

_No, will Thomas think I'm dead? _she internally panicked. Kaya's eyes widened and looked at her empty wrist. Subtly she hid her arm from Clarke's accusing look.

"Should I care?" Finn shrugged, not seeing the big deal.

"Well, I don't know. Do you want the people you love to think you're dead? Do you want them to follow you down here in two months? Because they won't if they think we're dying."

Finn looked down at the wrist, obviously thinking of Raven.

Clarke taking his silence as agreement, said, "Okay. Now let's go."

Finn walked away with the two boys and Clarke following him. Kaya was following them but was pulled back.

"What?" she complained.

"You, Blondie, remember," warned Bellamy, pointing at Kaya.

"My name is Kaya," she said forcefully. "But don't worry, I'll bring her back."

"So that means I can go?" Octavia asked.

Bellamy nodded, making Octavia kiss his cheek in appreciation. She grinned at Kaya, dragging her with the rest. Kaya look over her shoulder to salute Bellamy, making him scoff in amusement.

"Come on. Flirt with him when we get back," Octavia argued.

"I wasn't_—_that's flirting? No, really, that's flirting?" Kaya shrugged. She's wasn't an expert at those things, because of the lack of experience. Relationships and boys she never dealt with, but she knew that didn't really count that as flirting. Hurrying up, they joined the rest of the group, with the guys leading and Clarke following them.

"Before you get any ideas, Finn is mine," Octavia warned Clarke when they catched up.

Clarke looked annoyed. "Before you get any ideas, I don't care. Besides, why aren't you telling her? She's with Finn all the time." She referred to Kaya, who looked at her in disbelief.

"Finn's no ones," Kaya informed the both of them.

"Right now. But, to answer your question, Clarke. Kaya definitely isn't into Finn. But I can't say the same about my brother," Octavia said slyly.

"I'm sorry what?" Kaya said, turning around and looking at her in disbelief. "The guard? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't deny it. It's gross but whatever."

Kaya opened her mouth but closed it, not sure what she meant by that. "I don't like the guard," she said.

"I have to agree with her on this one," Clarke spoke up.

"Thank you," Kaya said gratefully and smiled at the girl.

"I was talking about Octavia," Clarke corrected making Kaya's smile fade. "It was a bit uncomfortable. Finn definitely made it clear he wasn't comfortable."

"What do you mean?"

"He was glaring at Bellamy the entire time you were talking. He looked pretty jealous."

Kaya laughed slightly. "Yeah. He's kinda overprotective."

Clarke pursed her lips but didn't comment anymore. As if hearing his name, Finn stopped and waited for Kaya to hurry up. She walked quickly to join him, leaving the two girls behind.

"This is not how I planned my first day on Earth. Looking for food with these people," Kaya told him.

"What's wrong with them? They seem harmless. And you and Octavia seem to get along pretty well."

Kaya shrugged. "Yeah, but_—_"

"No buts. We're in an adventure, didn't you want that?"

"Yeah, but we don't even know their names." She jerked her head to the boys in front of them. "And what they were arrested for? What if they were arrested for rape?"

"You're right," Finn said. "Hey, you two."

"I'm Finn," he introduced himself to the boys when they turned around. "What's your guy's name?"

"I'm Monty and this is Jasper," said one of the guy's.

They guy with the goggles, Jasper raised his hand. "Hey."

"I'm Kaya," she reluctantly introduced herself when Finn jabbed her in the stomach. She threw him a dirty look.

"And I'm Octavia." The girl bounced over to them.

Jasper grinned at her. "Hey Octavia, I'm Jasper."

"I know. I heard you the first time," Octavia said, making Jasper flush in embarrassment.

"And the other blonde over there is Clarke," Finn pointed to the back of Clarke's head, that had taken the lead and was a few step ahead of all of them.

Clarke turned around, scowling before looking ahead again and continued walking.

"She seems nice," Monty snickered.

"Blondie is so uptight," Octavia told Monty and Jasper, who wholeheartedly agreed.

"What's her problem?" Kaya muttered.

"You actually kinda look like Princess," Finn mused, looking back and forth between both girls.

"What? No, we don't!" Kaya said, looking at him offended. "Are you saying that because we're both blondes?"

"No I mean both of you are bossy and think you are know it all's."

She glared at him but was thinking of what he had called Clarke. "Wait... Did I just heard you call her Princess?"

"Nice nickname, huh? Fits her. Thinks she's above all of us just because she's privilege. She's so spoiled," Finn said, watching Clarke.

Kaya raised her eyebrows but said nothing more about the nickname. Instead, she focused on the important. "I do not look like her. I mean her face is a bit rounder than mine. And I'm pretty sure my hair is lighter than hers. And her eyes are like a bit darker than mine..." she ramble on, saying all their difference.

"Fine, I get it. You're nothing alike," Finn agreed, wanting to make her stop talking.

"Good," Kaya smiled satisfied.

They had gotten to a part where there were bushes full of purple flowers. Clarke was still leading them, not bothering to stop and check out the scenery.

Kaya glanced back, just in time to see Finn pick up one of the flowers and put it in behind a flattered Octavia's ear. She sighed at her best friends actions. It was like she was babysitting a baby.

Octavia beamed at her, pointing at the flower, clearly pleased at Finn's attention. Kaya gave her a tight smile.

"You have a girlfriend," she reminded him in a low voice when he reached her. "Remember Raven or has the radiation made you forget?"

"Relax. I'm just being friendly," Finn said to her with an easy grin. "In fact. Here's a flower."

He plucked another flower, pushed her hair behind her and placed the purple flower behind her ear.

"It's not a violet but at least it's purple," he said, referring to her favorite flower, before walking away from her.

"Now, that, my friend, is game," she heard Jasper say. Kaya glanced back, amused at the admiration of his tone. Looks like Finn has a fan.

Monty disagreed. "That, my friend, is poison sumac."

"What? It is?" Octavia gasped. Immediately, both Octavia and Kaya took of the flowers out of their hairs, terrified of being poisoned. Kaya relaxed when she saw the flower on the floor and wiped her hand desperately on her jacket.

Monty shook his head. "The flowers aren't poisonous. They're medicinal, calming, actually."

He plucked one of the flowers, took a bite and offered it to Kaya. She glared at him and pushed his hand away from her.

"Why would you say that?" Kaya demanded, annoyed at him for scaring her and making her throw away the flower Finn have to her. She bent down to retrieve the crumpled flower. Picking it up gingerly with her fingertips, she placed it in her jacket pocket, hoping it would be preserved.

"Thought it would be funny," Monty shrugged. "And it was. You should have seen your reaction. Priceless."

"Well good for you," she said and sighed, that time accepted the still extended flower from Monty. "How do you know this?"

Kaya took a tentative bite and found that the flower tasted almost like nothing. She put the entire flower in her mouth and winced when she got the aftertaste.

"His family grows all the pharmaceuticals on the Ark," Jasper answered her question.

"Hey, guys, would you try to keep up?" Clarke called out from where she was, ahead of everybody else.

"Come on, Clarke," Finn called out. "How do you block all this out?" He motioned around, talking about the beautiful scenery around them.

Clarke sighed, annoyed at them. "Well, it's simple. I wonder, 'why haven't we seen any animals?' Maybe it's because there are none. Maybe we've already been exposed to enough radiation to kill us."

"Or maybe they're annoyed of your bitchiness," Kaya muttered under her breath, irritated at the girl's attitude. She was ruining her adventure with her bossiness.

"Sure is pretty, though," Clarke admitted and jerked her head to continue walking. "Come on."

"Someone should slip her some poison sumac," muttered Octavia, making Jasper snort at her comment. Kaya nodded, agreeing with Octavia. Simultaneously, all five of them moved.

"I got to know what you two did to get busted," Finn grinned at the two boys.

Jasper shared a secretive look with Monty. "Sumac is not the only herb in the garden, if you know what I mean," Monty answered.

"Someone forget to replace what we took," Jasper said pointedly.

Monty gave him a look. "Someone has apologized, like, a thousand times."

"Wow, that's horrible but I like you two," she grinned at them.

Monty grinned back at her, "And I like you too."

"How about you, Octavia? What'd they get you for?" Jasper asked, wanting to have her part of their conversation.

But that seemed to be a wrong question to ask the girl. "Being born," Octavia muttered bitterly, running where Clarke was motioning her.

"That is so not game," Monty snorted, and then both proceeded to hit each other like children.

"I think Clarke found something." Kaya jerked her head towards the other blonde that was waving them over.

They walked towards where Octavia and Clarke were, watching something. They all followed him and crouch down to see what was the big deal. Clarke putting her finger over her lips, a sign to be quite pointed to far off where a deer was.

Kaya laughed silently in disbelief. A deer. The first animal they've seen on Earth, not including the bugs. Kaya doesn't know how many countless times she had drawn a deer and now, here she was seeing one in real life.

"No animals, huh?" Finn smiled, pleased that Clarke was wrong.

"Do you think there's more?" Kaya whispered. Finn grinned at her and slowly started creeping. towards the deer. But accidentally stepped on a branch, making it turn around. They all gasped and Finn fell back when they saw the disfigured face of the deer. It was a mutated version of one, having two faces, it's skin looking red. It made a noise and jumped away. They stayed frozen, not being able to believe what they just witness.

"Yeah. That was scary," Jasper said, hoping to break the silence.

"I thought it was pretty cool," admitted Kaya who earned disbelieving looks. "What? You got admit it was cool in a unique way."

"No," said Clarke, giving her a look. Kaya looked at her sharply.

"Okay. Let's go," Finn said, stopping what might have become an argument. He stood up, ready to continue. They all got up and continued walking down the trail. The only noise heard was the chirping of birds and of the branches they stepped on.

"What did you do Kaya?" Monty finally asked, cautious because the last girl they asked ran off bitter.

Finn stopped walking, looking back. Monty and Jasper faltered when they saw his steely look. Kaya ignored Finn and answered them.

"I got arrested for my dad's crime. Theft," Kaya said nonchalantly.

"How did that happen?" asked Jasper, confused.

"He blamed her. Turned her in," Finn answered bitterly. "That fucking coward."

She placed both of her hands on her shoulder, from behind. "Let it go, Finn, let it go. Holding grudges is going to make you a bitter man. I would know."

Finn shook her off. They had reached a steep hill going down, making them walked down slowly and using the trees for support.

"Hey, you know what I'd like to know?" Finn asked to no one in particular. "Why send us down today after ninety-seven years? What changed?"

_The Ark is dying,_ thought Kaya. _Or so that's what they told me._

Octavia swung around a tree. "Who cares? I'm just glad they did. I woke up rotting in a cell, and now I'm spinning in a forest." She gave Finn a flirty smiled, but he ignored her.

"Maybe they found something on a satellite, you know, like an old weather satellite or it wasn't a satellite," Monty said, sprouting out possibilities.

"The Ark is dying," Clarke finally said. "At the current population level, there's roughly three months left of life support, maybe four now that we're gone."

"So that was the secret they locked you up to keep, why they kept you in solitary, floated your old man?" Finn asked going towards her.

Clarke nodded. "My father was the engineer who discovered the flaw. He thought the people had a right to know. The Council disagreed. My mother disagreed. They were afraid it would cause a panic. We were gonna go public, anyway, when Wells…"

"What, turned in your dad?" Finn asked in disbelief.

Clarke didn't answer his question, finding it pointless. "Anyway, the guard showed up before we could. That's why today. That's why it was worth the risk. Even if we all die, at least they bought themselves more time."

"Yeah for three months. What are they going to do after that?" asked Kaya, not sharing the same emotions as Clarke.

"They're gonna kill more people, aren't they?" Monty asked, looking troubled.

_Thomas_, Kaya thought. She already knew about the oxygen because of him but didn't know about how much time they had. If they didn't do anything, everybody up in the Ark would die in three months. Raven, Thomas and even her father (if he was still alive). Innocent people could die.

Octavia, on the other hand, seemed pleased by the thought of killing the people of the Ark. "Good. After what they did to me, I say, float them all." She ran off, making everybody stared at her in shock at her bitter words.

Jasper followed her. "You don't mean that."

"We have to warn them," Finn said.

"That's what my father said," Clarke admitted.

"Oh, damn, I love Earth," commented a grinning Jasper, making everybody looked at what he was talking about. Everybody mouth dropped open in shock at what they saw. Octavia, by the edge of a rock, had taken practically all her clothes off, showing off her physique.

Monty gasped. "Oh! Holy…"

"Oh my God," Kaya laughed, putting her hands over her mouth. Finn laughed at her. Everybody stared at the girl in astonishment.

"Hoo hoo," Jasper said, definitely enjoying the view.

Clarke didn't share their same amusement. "Octavia, what the hell are you doing?!" she demanded. Octavia answered it by jumping into the water, making a huge splashing noise.

"Having fun," Kaya answered for her, wearing a smile. Everybody ran over to see if she was okay.

"Octavia," Monty called out. "You can't swim."

"No one knows how to swim," reminded Kaya.

Octavia grinned, getting up from the water. "I know, but we can stand," she laughed.

Clarke stopped smiling. "Wait. There's not supposed to be a river here."

Finn grinned at Clarke's hesitation. "Well, there is. So take off your damn clothes. That includes you, Kay. You're not getting out of this."

Octavia splashed her, getting her wet, giving her no option. Kaya rolled her eyes and started taking off her jacket. Everybody was shedding their clothes but stopped when they heard Jasper's scared voice.

"Oh! Octavia, get out of the water," he screamed. "Get out of the water now!"

Octavia turned around to see a mysterious creature head her way. Not having to react, it grabbed her, dragging her around. Octavia screamed, desperately trying to get away from its grip.

"Octavia!" Jasper screamed again.

They watch as Octavia got pulled down into the water, disappearing. They watch in horror waiting for something to happen. After a few seconds, Octavia reappeared from the water, gasping and screaming. They ran towards the other side, following Octavia's helpless screaming.

"What the hell is that?" demanded Monty, looking down to the water.

"We have to help her. Someone do something," shouted Kaya, getting closer to the edge but being pulled back by Finn. They moved around the rocks, trying to see where Octavia was being dragged.

"What are you going to do?" Kaya heard Jasper asked someone.

Turning around she saw Finn throw his jacket to the floor. "Try not to get eaten."

"No," Kaya got in his way, refusing to let him go in. "It could get you."

Clarke agreed with her. "Wait. If we distract it, it might let her go. Help me," she crouched down, trying to move a big rock. With the help of Monty and Finn, the three of them pushed the rock into the water. Hearing the splashing noise, the creature let go of Octavia and swam off quickly.

"It worked. It let her go," Monty said.

"Can you get to the shore now?" Jasper shouted to Octavia, running towards the edge of the water. But Octavia couldn't hear him, now dealing with a new problem; drowning. She was splashing around, desperately gasping, trying to get out. Jasper jumped into the water, going towards her.

"I got you," Jasper assured Octavia, who wrapped herself around him. They heard a noise and turned around quickly to see that it was the creature, swimming towards Octavia and Jasper quickly.

"It's coming back," yelled Monty. "It's headed right for you, guys."

"Come on. Come on. Keep moving," Jasper shouted at Octavia, pushing her to the big rock. In a fraction both got to the edge of the rock, missing the creature from killing them. They all crowded around the two wet delinquents. Kaya could see that one of Octavia's leg was bloody. "Okay," Clarke bend down and went into doctor mode, ripping a part of Jasper shirt and wrapping it around Octavia's wound

Octavia hugged Jasper. "Thank you. Thank you," she gasped.

"You're gonna be okay," Clarke assured the girl.

"Note to self, next time, save the girl," Monty clapped Jasper in the back.

Everybody laughed, out of relief for everybody being fine. They had survived a catastrophe. Well, sort of.

"Aw shit," Kaya groaned, running her hand over her hair.

"What?" asked Octavia, sitting up and putting on her shirt.

"Your brother is going to murder me," she said, dreading to go back to the dropship and face the wrath of Bellamy Blake.

"Don't worry. He won't actually kill him if you distract him," Octavia told her, smiling a little. "If you know what I mean."

Kaya grinned. "Thanks for the tip. I'll definitely need it when he has his hand in my throat."

"Or somewhere else," Octavia shrugged. "You're pretty and he's a huge manwhore."

Finn cleared his throat, wearing a disgusted look. "Right here, guys. Right here."

"Sorry," apologized Kaya but winked at Octavia.

"We should get out of here," Monty suggested. "Better to stay away from the water. We don't know if that thing can crawl in land."

Jasper looked nervous. "It better not."

"Yeah, we should go. It's going to be dark soon and we're not even close to Mount Weather. I think we're going to have to find somewhere to sleep," Clarke realized, looking at the sky that slowly was getting darker.

"Let's go then." Finn pulled Kaya up and then Octavia. She glanced around the place and for the first time there, she felt a dread.

"This wouldn't have happened in the Skybox," she muttered to herself.

* * *

_"This is nice," Finn said finally, breaking the heavy silence._

_"It's ugly," Kaya said flatly, sitting Indian style in her bed with Finn beside her._

_"It's bigger than I thought," Finn continued, his eyes roaming around the cell._

_"It's suffocating."_

_"You have a toilet," he pointed._

_"That doesn't work," she snapped._

_Finn looked at her exasperatedly. "Work with me, Kay. I'm trying."_

_She sighed, feeling guilty at her sullen mood. "You're right. Sorry. I'm sorry. It's just_—_"_

_Finn grabbed her hand. "Hey, it's fine. Don't apologize. It must be difficult."_

_"You have no idea," she muttered, feeling like shit all over again. She's been inside of this cell for a week when they had announced she had a visitor. Her first visitor._

_Eager and curious, Kaya waited for the visitor to come in. When Finn stepped into her cell, without a thought she threw herself into his arms and started crying. Finally, when she calmed down, Finn directed them to the bed, where they sat in silence not sure what to say._

_"Have you been sleeping?" Finn asked._

_"That's the only thing to do here," she shrugged not looking at him._

_"Is that a yes?"_

_"Yes," she lied. Kaya hadn't slept almost the entire week. She felt tired but no matter how much she tried to sleep, she couldn't. It made her want to cry, for feeling like this. Not being able to sleep and that suffocation, that made her want to hurt herself, would make Finn worry more than he already was and it wasn't worth it. "I've slept the entire week."_

_"That sounds like fun," he grinned._

_Kaya tried to smile back but the guilt was too much, to allow her._

_"You have a window," he noted._

_"Yeah. Not much appears. Just stars," she wrinkled her nose._

_Finn looked at the small window. "At least you have something showing you outside. Even if it's just the stars."_

_She rolled her eyes fondly. Only Finn would look at the bright side of things. _

_They stayed in silence again. It wasn't usually like this for them. They always talked. At least Finn would babble on and Kaya would listen while she sketched him or whatever was around them. But here they were, not sure what to say. They were in a situation where Finn was afraid to say something to her and make her upset and she didn't want to talk afraid that he would get irritated at her bitterness._

_Finn finally decided to break the silence and talk, made the mistake to say the wrong thing._

_"I went over to your apartment," he started, "and your dad_—_" _

_"Don't," she stopped him. "Don't talk about him. I don't want to know anything that has to do with him."_

_"But, Kaya, don't you want to know_—_"_

_"No, I don't."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yes, I am. So drop it. I don't want to talk about him," Kaya snapped, getting frustrated at him._

_Finn, realizing it, looked at her apologetically. "You're right. I'm sorry. Let's not talk about that asshole."_

_She smiled at him and grabbed his hand. "Thank you. And thank you for visiting me."_

_Finn looked at her hand and then at her. He grinned at Kaya. "I'm here for you, Kay. Always."_

_"I know."_

_The awkwardness disappeared and they went back to their old routines. Finn talking about mindless things and with her listening. Throughout the entire visit, she didn't let go of his hand, desperate for the reassurance that he was actually there._

_"... But I told Raven we can't do that. It won't work but you know how she is. Stubborn," Finn said. "In the end, I was right and she was wrong. It's nice being right once in a while."_

_She snorted. "Don't get used to it. That was a miracle."_

_He glared at her. "I'm not always wrong. What about the time when—"_

_The door of the cell opened, interrupted him during mid-story, and in came a timid Thomas. "I'm sorry guys but it's time for Finn to go," he said apologetically._

_"Oh." Kaya looked down to her lap, counting slowly to avoid tear to fall. She pulled her hand away from his._

_Finn looked disappointed but nodded, getting up from the bed. "I guess I have to go."_

_"Will you come again?" Kaya asked, looking up._

_"Yeah, when they let me." Finn looked at Thomas._

_"You can come in four days," Thomas said._

_Finn grinned at Kaya. "See? Four days. Not that bad."_

_"Yeah, Not that bad," she agreed half-heartedly. Leaning towards her, Finn hugged her tightly._

_"It's okay. Everything is going to be fine," he whispered, not letting go._

_"Kid, time to go," Thomas said after a few minutes, seeing that they weren't planning to let go._

_Reluctantly letting go, Finn walked towards the door, One last wave he got out._

_Thomas gave her a small wave. "I'll see you at lunch."_

_"Okay," she nodded._

_Closing the door, Kaya was left alone again in her cell, with the same self-hatred._

* * *

Kaya opened her eyes, feeling someone hit her leg. Turning her head she saw Monty moving around in his sleep. She sighed and put her hand over her eyes, remembering her dream, or memory. She hadn't been sleeping, the unfamiliarity of the place not allowing her.

It was crazy that she missed her cell. She wished she still had her bed and toilet and solitude. But, taking her hand away from her eyes and seeing the trees over her, she would take the uncomfortable floor any day.

Seeing that she wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon, she sat up and looked around. She frowned when she saw Finn gone and so was Clarke. She doubted that it was a coincidence and didn't like that. Kaya wasn't stupid.

She didn't like the attention Finn was giving to Clarke, remembering their interactions. It was too flirtatious for her liking. Kaya had reminded him that he had a girlfriend with Octavia but knowing Finn, he would say that she never told him anything about Clarke. He always had to be a smartass.

Kaya wanted to get up and look for them but decided against it. It wasn't her problem, it was Finn. He was the one with a girlfriend. Although she liked Raven and thought her and Finn are great together, there was nothing she could do. She didn't want to come off as the annoying best friend that dictated what he could do and not do. People would take it the wrong way and she went going to be the one explaining her actions.

Kaya just hoped that Finn knew what he was doing. But if she was him and had the ideas of cheating on his girlfriend, she would have chosen Octavia over Clarke. Clarke was too uptight, too snappy while Octavia was more fun and loose.

_Don't worry about,_ Kaya told herself.

Agreeing with herself, Kaya finally appreciated the scenery. She was wrong when she had concluded that Earth was most beautiful at day. It was more beautiful during the night. Everything was glowing a light blue in the dark. The tree looked more alive as if they were breathing. She laughed softly, loving Earth more every minute that passed.

This was living. This is what it felt to be free and finally living. And she loved it. She was never going to leave this place. Although her cynical part was telling her that it wouldn't last.

Getting up, she walked around the forest, staying near the others. She let her fingers run through the branches and bark of the trees, enjoyment the prickly feeling. The emotions that were running through her were indescribable. A part of her couldn't believe that she was here, still alive. It was crazy that all these years they had stayed in the Ark, afraid of getting killed by radiation when all along Earth was habitable. She heard someone walk behind her making her turn.

"Hey, Kay," Finn whispered, slowly approaching her.

"Hi," Kaya said from where she was. Finn motioned her to come over. She crawled over to him and looked at him expectantly.

"Come on, I want to show you something."

Looking at him curiously, she wordlessly followed him. Finn navigated through the lit forest effortlessly, clearly knowing. Where he was heading. He unlike her wasn't stumbling over roots.

"What were you and Clarke doing?" she asked.

"Just looking," Finn simply said.

"All right." She stuffed her hand inside her jacket while her eyes wandered around the huge forest.

"She's actually not bad when she isn't bossing us around. Still, worried about everything but she seems to mean well," he continued.

"Nice." She nodded, looking at the floor to avoid roots.

Finn sighed. "I didn't do anything."

"I didn't say anything."

"But you we're thinking of it," he accused. "I know you. When something bothers you, you don't say it, you show it. And you're showing it right now with your silence. You don't like that I'm spending time with her."

Kaya shook her head. "No. I was just thinking that if I trip and break my neck because of you, I will kill you."

"Seriously?" He didn't believe her.

"Um yeah and along with you have a girlfriend and Clarke's a pretty girl and you're a guy, and you guys went off alone in the night, so..." she trailed off, letting him put the pieces together.

"Kaya, nothing happened. I want you to know that," he stressed.

"You seem awfully desperate to prove that you're doing nothing. Which is making you look guilty. And also you refuse to turn around and say it to my face," she said harshly, taking one of her hands from her pockets and poking him in the back.

Finn stopped walking and finally turning around to face her. "I'm not. I just want to make it clear."

She raised her hand in surrender. "Hey, it's your choice. I can't stop you," she shrugged.

"So you don't care if I do something?" he asked.

Kaya shrugged again. "Yes, I would because what will happen when Raven finds out? Don't you care about your girlfriend? Don't you love her?"

"Of course I care about Raven. She won't find out because there's nothing," Finn insisted.

She narrowed her eyes when he didn't say he loved her. "Then why did you ask me if I didn't care if something happened?"

An emotion crossed Finn that he shook off. "Just wanted to test your loyalty between me and Raven," he gave her a tight smile and turned around, continuing walking.

Kaya threw her hands exasperatedly. "What the hell Finn? This isn't you. And you know, you say I'm just like her, so that kinda means you're flirting with me. Which is weird and awkward."

Finn stilled, taking a realization of what she argued. He knew she was right. "She's not like you," he finally grumbled.

"Hey you said it yourself," she pointed out.

"Can we change the topic. I don't want to fight," he sounded desperate.

"Fine, but it's not over," she warned her. "Where are we going?"

Finn brightened, more than happy to move on. "While I was looking around with Clarke, I found something. I waited for Clarke to go back with the rest and then I went to wake you up. But I saw that you were gone so I came to look for you."

"You didn't answer my question," she pointed out. "What did you find?"

"It's a surprise," he threw her a mischievous grin behind his shoulder.

She walked hesitantly. "You're not going to dump water on me, are you?"

"I was nine, Kay. Let it go," Finn sighed in annoyance.

"Just a precaution," she grinned. "But seriously you're not doing anything more stupid than usual?"

"No."

"Alright," she conceded. They walked continued for a few minutes when Finn finally let her know what he was doing.

"So you know that I promised that I would get you a present," she nodded even though he couldn't see her. "Well, I found it."

"What did you find?" she asked eagerly.

Finn stopped walking and turned around. "Okay, close your eyes and I'll show you." She gave him a look and he added, "Please."

"Fine," Kaya sighed and closed them.

"Great. Hold my hand." Reluctantly, she grabbed the air until she felt his warm hand grabbed it. After a while, she felt him release her hand. "Okay. Opens your eyes."

"Too late."

"Kaya, you promised!" he accused.

"I'm kidding. But, seriously, can I open them?"

"Yes, now you can," he said grumpily. "Thanks for taking the fun away."

She smiled and opened her eyes. What she saw made her gasp in surprise. Something in the air was alive. They were glowing. And moving. It was a blue glow that surrounded them. She didn't know what it was, but that it was really beautiful.

"Oh my God. Are these... butterflies?" She marveled when one got close to her face, barely an inch away.

"Yep," he grinned. "Thought you might like it. Maybe they inspire you to draw something nice for a change."

Her eyes soaked up the beauty. She raised her hands, trying to catch them when they flew to her arms. She let out a bubbly laugh when one landed on her palm. They were even more beautiful up close. She heard Finn laugh and turned around, beaming. Finn looked extremely pleased with himself.

"Best present ever, right?" he said proudly. "I totally outdid myself this year. I thought about giving you a flower, but I changed my mind."

She nodded, unable to speak. This _was_ an amazing gift. One of the best she's ever received. But it rivaled with the one the Ark unintentionally gave her; bringing her to Earth.

"Happy birthday, Kaya. I really missed you and I hope that everything gets better here."

"Yeah," she said under her breath, watching the glowing creatures move away from them. "Happy birthday to me."

* * *

**Here you go, the third chapter! Hope you liked it and leave reviews of what you thought! Now that I'm in summer vacation, hopefully, I will be able to update more than usual.**

**If there's any errors, I will go back and revise them.**

**The Italics was a flashback if there was a confusion. And I'm planning to continue doing flashbacks unless there's an objection**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The 100**


	4. A Suicide Mission

**Hope you enjoy the new chapter :)**

* * *

**Chapter Four: A Suicide Mission**

* * *

One thing Thomas prided himself with was that he was curious. Always wanted to know more. And when he was positive, determined and worked hard, Thomas would get what he wanted.

Look at Kaya.

When they first meet she wanted nothing to do with him. She was rude and straight out told him it leave her alone. But that didn't stop him. He wasn't sure whether it was because it was his first time arresting someone or because he sympathized with her situation, seeing her vulnerability behind her anger but Thomas had vowed to himself to win her over. To make her trust him and know she could count on him.

And Thomas had. It had taken almost a year with endless chatter, bribes, even begging but in the end, she liked him. Or at least tolerated him. He wasn't sure if Kaya actually liked people, despite having friends. She was a bit odd.

Like she had a habit of counting everything. Whenever she would get stressed that lead to panic attacks she would count. Apparently, it calmed her down.

She liked to draw but would never finish what she started. The only thing that Kaya had made an effort to finish was a tree she carved against the wall and floor. It was beautiful but also morbid. One time when she was sleeping when he came to deliver her lunch m, Thomas examined it and found that she drew a lot of dead birds, rotting, with their flesh out. And the trunk, if he looked closely, had red streaks cascading down. Feeling disturbed, he quietly left her tray by her bed and walked out, hopping this time she would eat.

That's was another thing. Kaya didn't eat that much. There were times were for a week she wouldn't eat, saying she wasn't hungry. Thomas would find Kaya, laying down in her bed, curled up, humming to herself. He would see bags under her eyes, clear sign that she hasn't been sleeping.

Thomas really tried to help her, especially when she had tried to kill herself. Even though she claimed it was an accident, he knew it was a lie. He knew pressuring her wouldn't help, to would make her withdraw, so Thomas said nothing. But that didn't mean he was going to let it go. Thomas was really scared when he found her. He didn't want her to die. She didn't deserve to. She was a good person. Better person than most people in The Ark.

It would have been a waste for her to die in a cell for a crime that she didn't commit. He tried to vouch for her but it didn't help. Apparently, she was not just arrested for one crime but for various. According to the report, Kaya was often found around places where objects would later disappear, and that she didn't hang around good people. She was friends with the Reyes daughter, Raven. It was no secret that the women did in her free time.

Kaya was a good person. Actually, the nicest one he's meet, besides himself. She was sweet, considerate, and kind. He just needed to get past her thick layer of shyness and sarcasm to see it. She was also vulnerable, mentally and emotionally, making him worry more about how she was doing on Earth. She had a point to freak out, but he was optimistic that Kaya was stronger than she thought. If she wasn't, she would have killed herself a long time ago.

Thomas rubbed his face, pacing around his apartment. He didn't know what to do. He had just come back from a shift of keeping the people calm. They all wanted to know what was going on but of course, they were getting no answers. Like him.

_Well, you can't find out if you're stuck inside here,_ a voice argued. _You won't relax until you get answers._

Thomas sighed, agreeing. He promised Kaya that everything would be fine but how could he know if he was here wallowing. Grabbing his gun and taser, Thomas placed them back at their appropriate slots. Taking a look in his mirror, Thomas saw a tired face. He hasn't been able to sleep since he found out that the delinquents were going to be put in the dropship. He hadn't sleep since three days. He didn't know how Kaya did it without looking as dead as he looked right now.

"Get it together Hunter," Thomas scolded to the mirror. "Focus on Kaya. She's your priority." He smiled at his reflection, he got out of his apartment.

* * *

Kaya had to stifle a yawn, feeling tired, which wasn't new to her. Last night after, Finn and her went back to rest go their group, she couldn't go back to sleep, which also wasn't new to her. Feeling tired and not being able to sleep had always been with her.

"He's going to die," Kaya muttered, watching Finn and Jasper, from where they were, trying to strengthen a vine.

"Such a shame. He's so good looking," Octavia grinned.

Clarke laughed. "I think he'll appreciate hearing that in his memorial."

"I don't know whether to say this is one of your smartest ideas you've had or the stupidest one so far," Kaya shouted, deciding to voice the girl's opinion. She crossed her arms, watching Finn pull again on the vine he was planning to swing.

"Don't hate or else you won't get your turn," Finn grinned.

"I won't if it breaks," Kaya laughed. Her cheeks hurt from smiling too much but she didn't care. She hasn't smiled this much in a really long time. It was nice to feel happiness instead of hopelessness or worse, nothing.

Clarke rolled her eyes, gripping her backpack straps. "You wanted to go first. Now quit stalling. Mount Weather awaits."

"Clarke, don't pressure him. We all know he's scared."

"I'm going, I'm going, I need to prepare," Finn grinned.

"Idoit," Kaya said to herself, but Clarke heard her and laughed. Forgetting her annoyance at the girl, Kaya smiled at her in appreciation.

"Just hang on till the apogee, and you'll be fine," Jasper instructed.

Finn nodded. "The apogee like the Indians, right?"

Jasper expression made Kaya snort. "Apogee, not apache," he corrected.

"He knows," Clarke shouted. "Today, Finn."

"Come on Finn. Don't tell me you're chickening out?" Kaya taunted.

Finn rolled his eyes, saluting them. "Aye, aye, captain. See you on the other side."

Finn prepared himself and was about to swing when Jasper stopped him. He whispered something to Finn, making him look at him

"What now?" Kaya asked impatiently.

Octavia's face broke into a grin. "I think Jasper is going first."

Kaya shared a look with Clarke, as Jasper grinned at Octavia. That explains why he's going.

Nervous but ready to go, Jasper, grabbed the vine. He hesitated but after a few reassuring word from Finn, he was ready. "See you on the other side," Jasper laugh.

With a swing, Jasper swung to the other side. "Woohoo!" he shouted. "Whoo! Yeah!" When he got to the other side, he clumsily fell to the floor. Getting up, he looked around. "We are apogee!" Jasper cheered, raising his arms.

"Yeah!" Everybody started cheering. "Yeah! Whoo! Yeah, Jasper!"

Jasper continued shouting. "Whoo! Yeah!" He laughed ecstatically, jumping up and down in victory.

"Let's go, Princess," Finn handed the vine to a laughing Clarke. "You're up."

Clarke looked at Finn and nodded, grabbing the vine. Kaya clenched her fist when she saw that they kept at staring at each other. Finn was a liar.

"Come on, Clarke!" Jasper shouted. "You got this! Whoo! Apogee!" Jasper bent down and picked up a sign. Reading it, he raised it over his shoulder. "We did it! Mount Weather! Whoo! Whoo!"

Everyone continued cheering him on, happy that they were close to their destination. Jasper continued waving the sign around as everyone shouted. In a blink of an eye, a spear flew and impaled Jasper in the chest, making him fall back. Everybody gasped, freaking out what happened.

"Jasper," screamed Clarke. "Jasper!"

"Jasper!"

"Oh my God," Kaya mouthed, covering her mouth. Finn grabbed Kaya's arm, pulling her away from the view.

"Come on. Come on. Come on," he urged all of them. Finn pushed Kaya in front of him and went to grab Clarke.

"Jasper! Jasper!" Clarke shouted again.

"No. Come on," Finn insisted, dragging her with him. They a run down to the rocks close to the water, to hide them from view. "Get down. Get down," Finn hissed.

Their breathing was heavy. They were looking around frantically at the forest, feeling scared and nervous. Whoever had shot Jasper was moving around, either going away or ready to attack again.

"We're not alone," Clarke said, looking horrified.

"No, really," Kaya snapped, her finger numb at how hard she was clenching her jacket.

"We have to go." Finn pulled Clarke up. Seeing that she wasn't moving, he grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her up. "Come on, let's go."

They all got up and ran as fast as they could trying to get away from the river. Chaos happened, all of them running from there. They kept stumbling, and Clarke kept on stopping, looking back.

"Clarke, come on," Finn said, frustrated at her, forcing them to stop. They didn't stop running until Monty tripped. Octavia tried to help him get up, slowing them down.

"We got to go," Finn yelled, helping her.

"Hold on, hold on. What is that?" Kaya panted, seeing what made Monty tripped. They all looked around, seeing skeletons surrounding them. Kaya grimaced, grabbing Finn's arm. "What the hell is that?"

"Who are they?" Finn looked at the floor in confusion.

A flock of crows we're squawking around, making Kaya uneasy. She had read in one of the books from school that whenever those birds around there was a rotting corpse. She honestly hoped that it wasn't Jasper. Clarke bent down to pick one of the skulls. Looking at them closely, they skulls were not exactly human shaped.

"_What_ are they?" she corrected him, staring at the skull.

"We are so screwed," Octavia said. In the distant, a scream erupted the tense silence. Jasper pained scream.

"Jasper. He's alive," Clarke breathed, getting up. Without a second, though, she ran back to the river, making Finn chase after her.

"Clarke, wait. Wait!"

Having no option, they all chased after the two of them.

"Wait," Finn finally reached Clarke and grabbed her. "Stay out of the trees. He was right there." Finn pointed out. Jasper wasn't where they had last seen him.

"Where is he?" Monty asked.

"They took him," Clarke breathed.

"Who took them?" Kaya asked in a breathless voice. "Who is _they_?"

"I don't know." Clarke almost moaned, her face ached in distress.

"We should go," Kaya said, looking around nervously. Her nails were biting down on Finn's arm. "They could still be here and... we could die... like..." She stopped, her breath going shallow. She placed one of her hands on her chest, feeling a famaliar pain in the chest.

"Kaya, breath. Count to ten." Finn grabbed her shoulders.

She nodded and slowly counted down. "Ten. Nine. Eight..."

"Is she okay?" Octavia looked worried.

"Panic attack," Monty explained. "Right?"

Kaya felt the pain lessen and when she reached to zero, she could breathe more normally. She nodded to herslef and pushed Finn away. "I'm fine. Let's go."

Finn looked unsure. "Kaya—"

"I said I was fine," she snapped. "Now let's go."

They looked surprised at her viciousness but didn't comment. Just like before, they ran as fast as they could back to the camp. They didn't stop running until they reached a familiar trail, that's when they started slowing down.

"Do you hear that?" Octavia asked, making everybody still.

There was a loud shouting coming from the camp. But it didn't sound scared, it was excited.

"What the hell is going on?" Clarke snapped, running ahead to see what was causing the commotion.

"Look a fight," Kaya said, realizing what was going on. "Another one. That's nice."

Finn shot her an annoyed look. "It's not funny Kaya." He walked away to be next to Clarke.

"Ever heard of sarcasm?" she muttered.

Clarke's voice was heard, yelling angrily. "Wells! Let him go!"

Kaya got in time to see Bellamy get in between the fight. "Enough, Murphy," he ordered, pushing him back. Begrudgingly, Murphy listened.

Bellamy rushed towards his sister. "Octavia. Are you alright?" He picked her up, seeing her grimace.

"Yeah, fine," Octavia assured him.

Bellamy looked at the group that arrived. "Where's the food?"

Finn sat down. "We didn't make it to Mount Weather," he said, sounding tired.

Kaya exhaled, brushing her hair out of her face.

"What the hell happened out there?" he demanded, looking at their sweaty faces.

"We were attacked," Kaya said shortly. Bellamy narrowed his eyes at her, going towards her.

"What?" she snapped.

"You're dead," he threatened.

"Attacked? By what?" Wells asked, wanting to know what was going on.

"Not what," Finn got in between them, acting as a barrier. "Who. It turns out, when the last man from the ground died on the Ark, he wasn't the last Grounder. " Finn glared at him, daring him to say something to Kaya.

Clarke nodded. "It's true. Everything we thought we knew about the ground is wrong. There are people here, survivors. The good news is, that means we can survive. Radiation won't kill us."

"Yeah, the bad news is the Grounders will," Finn added.

Bellamy looked around, counting the group that came back. "Where's the kid with the goggles?"

"Jasper was hit. They took him," Clarke informed him. She looked at Wells' wrist noticing the metals absence. "Where is your wristband?" she snapped.

Wells glared at Bellamy. "Ask him."

Blake shifted at the sudden attention, glancing at Octavia uneasily. Kaya smirked, pleased that he's in the doghouse.

"How many?" Clarke snapped, looking ready to kill.

"Twenty-four and counting," Murphy bragged.

Clarke looked furious. "You idiots," she whispered. "Life support on the Ark is failing. That's why they brought us down here. They need to know the ground is survivable again, and we need their help against whoever is out there. If you take off your wristbands, you're not just killing them. You're killing us!"

Bellamy seeing the fear growing in the crowd stepped in, refusing to let Clake win. "We're stronger than you think. Don't listen to her. She's one of the privileged. If they come down, she'll have it good. How many of you can say the same? We can take care of ourselves. That wristband on your arm?" Bellamy asked the delinquents. "It makes you a prisoner. We are not prisoners anymore! They say they'll forgive your crimes. I say you're not criminals! You're fighters, survivors! The Grounders should worry about us!"

Despite finding him being incredibly stupid, Kaya couldn't help but admire how confident he sounded. And wasn't the only one. The delinquent cheered and whooped, won over by his words. Kaya saw Clarke look at the delinquents in disgust. She walked towards Finn who was with Clarke.

"Bellamy's not that smart," Kaya offered. "Soon they're going to see through his charade and come to their senses."

Clarke looked surprised at her attempt to comfort her. She nodded in appreciation.

"So what do we do now?" Finn asked Clarke.

Clarke's face became determined. "Now we go after Jasper."

Kaya wasn't paying attention anymore, going behind Finn when she saw Bellamy searching the camp for someone. With the deadly look, he wore, Kaya took a stab that it was her. She was definitely in trouble.

* * *

"Bellamy, I'm fine," Octavia pushed him off for the hundredth time.

"No, you're not," he snapped. His eyes darted up again, in search for Kaya. He couldn't find her but knew that she was probably hiding from her. Octavia rolled her eyes but allowed him to fuss over her.

"Where is she?" Bellamy asked Octavia.

"Who?" She wore a puzzled look, but he saw right through it.

"Kaya," he snapped. "I'm going to kill her."

"Bellamy it isn't her fault," Octavia defended her. "It's mine. How was she supposed to know this was going to happen? No one knew, it was a stupid accident."

Bellamy knew she was right, but his stupid overprotectiveness would refuse to let her get away with it.

"Bellamy she's my friend, please let it go," Octavia pleaded.

Bellamy glowered, not saying anything. He looked up to finally see her. She was in front of the dropship with Blondie and Spacewalker. They were all talking, at least Blondie and Spacewalker were. Kaya looked distracted, looking around.

Her eyes meet him and he saw her cringe, breaking eye contact and hiding in front of Spacewalker.

He smirked, pleased that at least she was intimidated by him

"What happened here?" Octavia asked, making him look at her.

Bellamy shook his head. "No, no. You're going to tell me what happened. Since the moment, you guys left."

"Bellamy."

"Octavia," he warned.

She huffed fine. "Fine," she adjusted where she was sitting. "We were following Clarke, she had the map..."

* * *

"So looks like it's just going to be us four," Kaya realized when she saw no one wanting to go to the back and get Jasper. Only Clarke and Wells were determined to go. They had gone inside the dropship to grab supplies. Finn and her were nearby the dropship, under a tree.

"Four?" Finn echoed. "I don't think so. It's just going to be them two." He pointed inside the dropship.

"Excuse me?" Kaya turned to face him. "What do you mean them two? I don't know about you, but I'll going."

"No, you're not." Finn shook his head, giving her a disbelieving look.

"Like hell, I'm not. I'm going," she pushed him.

"No, I'm not," Finn glared at her. "It's too dangerous."

She smiled tightly. "Finn you can't tell me what to do. Especially here. So back off."

Finn glared at her. "Since when did you become reckless?"

She pursed her lips, hating his disapproving voice. Ignoring him, Kaya walked to the dropship. She heard Finn sigh and followed her inside. Going inside, Kaya saw Clarke away from Wells.

Clarke seeing, walked up to them. "Hey. You two ready?"

"I am," perked up Kaya but was pushed back by overbearing Finn.

"She's not going anywhere, or me and neither should any of you. That spear was thrown with pinpoint accuracy from 300 feet."

"Now you're good at math," Kaya muttered, earning a dark look from Finn.

"Kaya stop. We're not going," he told her in a patronizing voice.

Clarke looked angry. "So what, we let Jasper die?" Monty demanded.

"That's not gonna happen," Clarke stopped Monty. She turned to Finn. "Spacewalker?" she scoffed. "What a joke. You think you're such an adventurer. You're really just a coward."

Finn shook his head, grabbing her arm. "It's not an adventure, Clarke, it's a suicide mission."

Clarke just shook her head, not believing him and moved away from him. Kaya rushed to get in front of her.

"I'll go. Unless you want to be stubborn," Kaya said to Clarke, daring her to deny her.

"Okay. Follow me. We have one more stop to make," Clarke said in her patronizing voice, making Kaya roll her eyes.

"Build a wall. Use the fallen trees," she heard Wells instruct to Finn, making him useful before following Clarke.

She glanced to see Monty shot Finn a disappointed look. "Jasper looked up to you," he said before walking away.

Kaya felt bad for Finn but didn't feel like doing anything. He deserved it. Going to the exit of the dropship, following Clarke's footsteps, Kaya felt someone pulled her by the arm.

"What are you doing?" hissed Finn. "I said you're not going."

"Let go, Finn," she commanded, pulling away from him. "And don't tell me what to do."

"I thought we already talked about this."

"We did and I said I'm going. You stay if you want."

"This is a suicide mission," he repeated his earlier words.

"You were the one who picked Jasper to go with us," she reminded him.

"Are you saying this is my fault this happened?" Finn demanded. "Are freaking kidding me?"

"Well kinda of," she said hastily. "If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be in this mess."

Finn looked as if Kaya had slapped him. "What the fuck? With the two kids death, you said that it wasn't my fault even though they followed my lead and here with Jasper same thing you blame me?!"

"Stop twisting my words," she snapped at him. "I mean_—_"

"No I get what you mean," Finn spat. "That you're hypocritical."

This time, it felt Finn had slapped him.

"Kaya lets go!" Clarke shouted from outside. "We're waiting."

Finn gave her a terse look. "You should go," he said in a hard voice.

Kaya nodded, agreeing is best of their apart. "I guess I should," Kaya muttered, before walking out of the dropship to Clarke and Wells.

A burning guilt went through her, at blaming Finn but brushed it off. She knew he was right, it was stupid for them to go but she didn't want to stay in the camp. She had gone with them for an adventure and she was going to finish it. Also, it would be a great way to get away from Bellamy's wrath. His look was deadly enough, imagine when he got to her.

"Is he coming?" An impatient Clarke looked at the dropship expectantly.

She shook her head. "So we're going now?" Kaya asked her.

"No one last stop," Clarke said.

"Where?"

"To Bellamy," muttered Wells, looking disgruntled.

"What?" faltered Kaya. One of her selfish reason she was going was to avoid Bellamy. "Why do we need him?"

"She needs to talk to him."

"Why?" _No, no. I cannot be near him._

"He's the leader," Wells said bitterly.

"Wait. Bellamy is the leader?" She cringed at being at their leader's bad side. Thomas words rang inside her head

_"Get close to the people who influence. There is always going to be a leader in a group. It's a natural response for people to seek a leader, someone to guide them. Those people will be your safety net. Doesn't matter if you agree with their ways but you need them."_

"He has taken the role of one," Clarke said bitterly.

"You could have been killed," Bellamy was saying to his sister as he fixed her leg wound.

"And she would have been if Jasper hadn't jumped in to pull her out," Clarke said, interrupting their conversation.

"Are you guys leaving?" Octavia said urgently, pulling her pant leg down. "I'm coming too_—_"

"No, no, no," Blake said firmly, putting out a hand to keep her in place. "No way, not again."

"He's right," Clarke agreed. "Your leg's just going to slow us down." Her attention shifted to Bellamy. "I'm here for you."

"Clarke what are you doing?" Wells whispered, shooting Bellamy a dark look. Clarke ignored his protests.

"I hear you have a gun," Clarke informed Bellamy. He smirked, and raised his shirt, showing off his gun. "Good. Follow me."

"And why would I do that?" he asked, looking slightly amused.

Clarke raised her eyebrows, smirking. "Because you want _them _to follow you, and right now, they're thinking only one of us is scared." Her voice was mocking, daring him to back down from the challenge after he had made a huge show that there was nothing to fear and then, later on, refusing to go and save one of them. Clarke walked away with Wells and Kaya at her heels.

"Do you think Bellamy is going to come?" she asked timidly to Wells.

"God you're like the rest," muttered Wells.

"Excuse me?"

"Of course, you want Bellamy to go." Wells wore an annoyed look.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't get it, what's so great about him? Is it because he's good looking? Or is it his voice? Or his attitude?" Wells continued complaining. Kaya looked at him as if he grew a second head.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Why do you like Bellamy?" he asked, annoyed.

"What?" Kaya sounded like a broken record.

"Now that you know Bellamy is going, you're all gun go of coming."

Her eyes widened, realizing what he was implying. "I don't like Bellamy," she said quickly.

"Sure," Wells said sarcastically.

"Shut up Wells," she ordered him. He gave her a look that said he didn't believe her. "I don't." Kaya surprised him and herself by punching his shoulder. She cringed, expecting him to yell at her but instead he laughed.

"I'm just kidding about you liking him," Wells smiled. "I saw that you're not a fan of his."

She relaxed slightly and nodded. "Yeah, not really. I'm trying to avoid him actually."

"Why?"

"I might have, sort of, promised to take care of his sister and then kinda, almost got her killed," Kaya said hastily.

"And now he's after your blood?" Wells nodded in understanding. "Be careful of that asshole, when he wants something he'll get it." His words were bitter. Something definitely had happened while they were gone.

"I'm taking that he already tried something on you?"

"Yeah. Almost got me killed. By taking off my wristband."

"Oh my sorry," she apologized.

He gave her a bitter smile before walking to Clarke to probably argue.

"Those guys aren't just bullies, Clarke," Wells tried reasoning with Clarke. "They're dangerous criminals."

"I'm counting on it," Clarke simply said.

Kaya heard voices behind her making her look back.

_Aw crap, they're here, _she groaned internally.

Bellamy and his lackey, Murphy, we're whispering to each other but not quite enough because she manage to overhear the last words.

"...I'm getting that wristband, even if I have to cut off her hand to do it," she heard Bellamy say to Murphy.

Kaya tried not to falter at hearing that. Looking at her empty wrist, she felt relief

"Hey!" Bellamy called out as he caught up to them. Kaya saw that Bellamy was holding the gun in the air carelessly. She frowned and continued walking, getting away from him. "Hold up! What's the rush? You don't survive a spear through the heart."

"Put the gun away, Bellamy," Wells said immediately, turning to face them.

"Why don't you do something about it, huh?" Murphy responded, stepping forward and pushing Wells back.

Clarke, like always, ignored their arguing. "Jasper screamed when they moved him. If the spear struck his heart, he'd have died instantly. It doesn't mean we have time to waste."

Bellamy reached out to grab her wrist. "As soon as you take this wristband off, we can go."

Clarke jerked her hand away, glaring. "The only way the Ark is gonna think I'm dead is if I'm dead. Got it?" His voice was firm, showing off her strong character.

Kaya smiled at her. Despite her bossiness and uptight personality, Kaya had to admire her refusal. Maybe Finn was right, she wasn't that bad. She just needed to relax.

"Brave princess," Bellamy smirked, thinking the same thing.

"Hey, why don't you find your own nickname?" Everybody turned to see Finn walking towards them.

Kaya's eyes widened, surprised to see him. He seemed determined of not want to go at this 'suicide mission'. And now here he was. What made him change his mind?

"You call this a rescue party?" Finn scoff. "Got to split up, cover more ground. Clarke, come with me."

"What the fuck?" Kaya muttered when she saw Finn grab Clarke's arm and drag her away from the rest of the group.

Finn had completely ignored her. She didn't count the dark look he shot her when he had walk towards Clarke. He's definitely mad at her.

Bellamy and Murphy shared a look, before continuing walking. She could hear Murphy and Bellamy whispering again. Shoving her hands into her pockets, she took bigger strides to get away from those two. And Wells.

She was tired of being around guys. They were confusing and frustrating.

* * *

"Your secret's safe with me. Of course, for you, it's worse. With Finn around, Clarke doesn't even see you. It's like you're not even here."

Bellamy enjoyed the discomfort he brought to Wells, the son of the Chancellor. He deserved it. Wells have been causing problems around the camp. And it was a way to retaliate for what his dad did to him and his family. Bellamy pushed his bitterness to the side and focused on the important things.

Instead, Bellamy looked ahead, literally, to watch Kaya walked by herself. He hadn't missed her sour face she made when Finn grabbed Clarke and walked away with her. And the expression Finn gave her. It was obvious he was trying to make her jealous.

_Seems like we have a lovers' quarrel,_ he mused, already thinking of what can he do with that.

He saw Murphy go up to her and try to talk to her. Whatever he said to her, seemed to piss her off, because she shoved him, making Murphy fall to the floor. Bellamy was surprised to see Murphy laugh and not attack the girl.

_She's hot, _he thought, watching her march off. He had noticed that when he first saw her. She had a nice face and body, from what he could tell. He appreciated her kind. Tall and lean. He wondered how old she was, hoping she was at least seventeen.

_But she has a boyfriend_, a voice rang.

He smirked, not deterred. _If _Finn was her boyfriend, he was a shitty one. He had picked Princess instead of Kaya, probably to make the blonde one jealous.

_But I can help her, make him jealous. I like helping people,_ he mused, watching her ass. He frowned when he remembered what she did to Octavia. _But first, need to sort out the Octavia problem._

* * *

Kaya felt someone join her and sighed in annoyance. He couldn't take a hint.

"Go away Murphy," she snapped, ready to punch him.

"What the hell did Murphy say to piss you off?" Kaya heard from behind her.

_That's not Murphy,_ Kaya realized, stopping. Turning around she saw who it was. A serious Bellamy Blake. "Oh."

"I said nothing has to happen to her and you failed," Bellamy accused her.

She turned around, refusing to see his annoyed look. "No, I'm pretty sure you said alive."

"I said _safe_," Bellamy insisted, joining her side.

"No. You said alive," Kaya disagreed.

She heard Bellamy make a frustrated noise, making her smile. "Why can't you admit you weren't able to do so?"

"You're so overprotective. She's gonna get hurt at one point. Coddling her isn't going to help her."

"I'm her brother. You don't understand because you don't have a sibling."

"And thank God I don't have one, because if I did, I would kill myself," she muttered.

Bellamy grabbed her arm, making Kaya face him. "She was hurt."

"Bellamy let it go. She's fine."

"No, she's not. She's limping,"

"So what if she's a bit maimed? The important thing is she's alive. Would you rather have her dead but not limping?" Bellamy glared at her, not appreciating her logic. "Fine, I'm sorry. I'm sorry your sister got hurt. I'm sorry that I didn't do a better job. Now that's I've done my begging, what are you going to do?"

Bellamy glared slightly, only because he looked confused. "What?"

"You said you were going to make me regret living. So what are you going to do?" She put her hands on her hip, lifting her chin up.

Bellamy licked his lips, his anger disappearing, and amusement appearing. "Tough puppy aren't you?"

She frowned, not sure what to take of that. "Not really but," she stopped talking when Bellamy laughed.

"You know, ignoring that you almost got my sister killed, you're not that bad," he admitted, still smiling.

She frowned, finding his behavior with her off-putting. Where all guys like that? She didn't have that much experience, she had honestly forgotten how to interact with people. Especially with guys. Thomas and Finn didn't count, they were basically the same person, except with different hair color and eyes.

"Can we move now?" she sighed, not wanting to overthink everything.

Bellamy motioned her to go first. Silently they walked through the forest. Internally Kaya was jumping up and down, not being able to believe what she just did. She had just had a stare down with Bellamy.

That wasn't like her. She was a generally shy person. For fuck sake, the reason she and Finn were friends was because of Finns incessant persistence. He introduced her to Raven and with a little coaxing from both people, Kaya became friends with her. Same went for Thomas, he kept badgering for almost a year until she gave in. Even Octavia was the one who started the conversation.

She was a shy person. Who followed her dad's orders and hid behind her drawings. And here she was, talking back to a guard and getting in a fight with her best friend.

She could feel her breath getting heavy, realizing that she made a fool out of herself. What if Bellamy thought she was stupid? Or annoying? She realized that he was right , that it was her fault that she didn't take care of Octavia. What a crappy person she was. Look at Finn, she basically threw in his face that it was his fault that Jasper got shot and the other two kids dying.

She ran her finger through her hair, and placed a shaky hand over her mouth, trying to breathe. She already knew what was going to happen. It was that familiar sensation.

_One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six__—__oh crap. It's not working._

Feeling the world get smaller, she leaned against a tree trunk, making Bellamy collided with her.

"Hey, are you okay?" She heard Bellamy's jumbled voice.

Kaya wanted to answers but all she could muster were numbers. "Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven..." she mumbled.

"Hey, hey!" Bellamy's voice sounded worried. "Kaya."

He grabbed her arm roughly and pushed her against the tree. She continued mumbling numbers, still feeling the uncomfortable sensation in her chest. "... Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Seven _—_no. Again. One. Two..."

Bellamy grabbed her face, squishing her cheeks. "What's going on?" he demanded.

Kaya let a hysterical sound, freaking out that she couldn't breathe. "It's not working. Why isn't is working?" Her voice broke off, gasping for air.

Finally understanding what was going on, Bellamy let go of her face. "Okay. You're having a panic attack."

She closed her eyes, making noises, frustrated.

"Kaya, listen to my voice," ordered Bellamy.

Kaya could listen but couldn't respond, her hand was shaking badly. She could hear Bellamy muttering until she felt a sting in her cheek, making her gasp. Her eyes flew open, grabbing her stinging cheek.

"Fuck," she whimpered, feeling the damp cheek. Had she been crying? "Damn.,,"

"There," Bellamy smug voice said. "I helped end your panic attack and I got you back."

Letting go of her cheek, she hastily wiped her tears, feeling an overwhelming sensation wash over her. "I'm sorry," she muttered.

Bellamy frowned. "Why are you apologizing? I just smacked you. And enjoyed it a little too much."

She ran her fingers through her hair, feeling frustrated and embarrassed that Bellamy witnessed her meltdown.

"Sorry, that you saw... This." Kaya motioned to her distraught self.

Bellamy surprisingly looked sympathetic. "It's fine. I was really worried for a second. Especially with the numbers. Thought you were having a mental meltdown. What was that about?"

Kaya cringed, feeling her cheeks flush. "When I have these attacks, I count. It helps, it distracts me from the real problem." _One of my problems_.

"Is that why you said it isn't working?" Bellamy questioned. "The counting?"

"It always works and when it wasn't working_—_" she stopped, exhaling deeply, trying to calm herself. "I really lost it. So thanks for the slap, that helped."

Bellamy gave her a half smile. "You seem to get them often, from the sound of it."

"Yep," she nodded, pressing her back against the trunk and putting her hands on her thighs, still feeling light headed. "All the time. It's horrible."

"So this is your first one on Earth?"

She shook her head. "Nope but this is the worst one I've had so far and you had the honor to watch it evolve," she muttered bitterly.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. My sister would get them all the time when she was on the floor. She hated it. She was claustrophobic, the irony actually."

"Really?" Kaya said in a breathy voice.

He nodded. "Do you feel better? Or should I slap you again?"

"Slap me and I'll stab you," Kaya half threatened, remembering her small knife she had. Her hand went to her back, where it was not really safely tuck

Bellamy laughed. "Such a tough puppy."

"Stop calling me that," she grumbled. Straightening up Kaya realized that they were alone. "Where's Murphy and Wells?"

Bellamy shrugged. "Bonding," he drawled. "Just like you and me."

"Poor Wells," she sympathized. "Being the son of the Chancellor is already bad enough."

Bellamy rolled his eyes. "Start walking Blondie."

"It's Kaya," she snapped but started walking and he went to her side.

"Kaya," Bellamy mused, enunciating her name slowly. "Never have I heard off that name before. It's a strange name."

"So is Bellamy," she retorted.

"What's your last name?" he asked. She looked at him warily. He raised his eyebrow expectantly.

"Campbell."

Bellamy grinned and Kaya immediately regretted telling him her last name. "If you don't like Blondie, then start walking, Campbell." Knowing it was no use fighting with a stubborn guy, she let it go and ignored him. "What did Murphy say to you, to make you shove him and laugh?" Bellamy asked.

Kaya glowered at the ground. "Made an inappropriate joke how a body like mine is illegal and that's why I got arrested. And then he said if I'm the sun because I raise his cock."

"That's disgusting," Bellamy said, frowning in distaste.

"That's what I thought. I can't hat's what he decided to tell me for the first time in years. He's definitely gotten perverted."

"Hold on, you know Murphy?" He looked at her in surprise.

"I wouldn't say know. His dad knew my dad. My dad made me one time go to where he lived and deliver a... package," Kaya said hastily. She wasn't sure why she was hesitating. She couldn't get floated for what she had done but that didn't mean she was proud. Delivering illegal medicine wasn't exactly that bad, there were worse things. Like hiding an illegal child. "Anyways, John or Murphy as he prefers now, answered the door. I went to his house like ten times and each time he would answer it. Always made a small comment and that's it."

"Do you think he had a crush on you?" Bellamy grinned.

Kaya snorted. "I was thirteen in the awkward phase. I was shy and didn't like to interact with people, making me weird around people. I don't think so."

"I don't know. Awkward you've probably always been. But other than that..." She could feel Bellamy checking her out. "I don't see why not, especially with that charming comment."

She turned around to face him. "That wouldn't be a crush. That would be lusting."

"What's the difference?" Bellamy shrugged.

She remembered who she was talking to. A guy. "I've forgotten how guys are," she laughed, continuing walking.

"Don't worry, I'm different from the other."

"That's what they all say. Along with, don't worry, this will be fun, you'll love it."

They had reached a clearing that had a small river. It wasn't the one that Octavia got attacked. Kaya wondered if this river had a dangerous creature.

She watched the water mystified. Ever since Octavia jumped into the water, she's been itching to do the same. Not even the mysterious sea monster deferred her urge to go in the water.

_Get in. You deserve a break. That panic attack to a toll on you, _a voice urged her.

Making her decision, Kaya started taking her shoes and socks off. Casting them to the side, she pulled down her pants. She beamed when she touched the cool water with her toes. She felt herself vibrate with excitement.

"What are you doing?" asked Bellamy from behind, bewildered. "I'm not complaining about the view but what are you doing?"

"Going to the water," she replied simply, taking off her shirt, leaving her with her underwear, bra and tank top.

"Wait_—_what? No, you can't. Octavia got attacked in the water and you want to go in? Are you insane?"

"She got attacked in the deep end, I'm only going to be in the shallow area. So you can calm down," Kaya reminded him.

"We're supposed to be looking for Jasper," Bellamy reminded her.

"Didn't you say no one survives a spear to the heart?"

"Then what the hell are you here?"

She shrugged. "I was trying to get away from you but it didn't work. You're right in front of me, taking away my limited happiness."

Going to the water, she slowly entered until it reached her thighs and then submerged herself completely, gasping as the cold water hit her. She went up and brushed her hair back, laughing.

She was wrong before about the glowing trees being the best thing on Earth. It was the water. The feeling of being engulfed was beyond words. It was cool against her skin and slippery. She loved it. It was so strange here, being happy all the time. Kaya couldn't remember, in her seventeen years, when was the last time she smiled or laughed this much.

And it scared her. It scared her there will be an expression date for her smiles and that she no longer will feel whole again. She didn't want that, but Kaya couldn't help and laugh when she scooped some water with both of her hands and it dripped down her arm. Kaya turned around to see Bellamy staring at her with an intense look on his face.

"Are you going to watch or what?" she asked, raising her eyebrows, going back playing with the water.

"Well if you say it in that tone," Bellamy said sarcastically. Glancing up, she saw Bellamy stripping off his shirt and proceeding with his pants.

Not really caring about him anymore, Kaya focused in the water. She felt like a child, every discovering she made was new and mind blowing. With a splash Bellamy got in the water, shuddering. He had gotten wet from his waist down. Kaya laughed at his reaction, splashing more water to him.

"Stop that," he ordered, shielding himself from her. He moved around her, getting closer.

"Stop what?" Kaya continued splashing him.

Frustrated, he tackled her into the water, submerging her into the cold water. She gasped under water, making the water bubble. With one push, she moved him away from her. She went up to the surface, gasping for how cold it was.

"Crap. It's cold."

She could hear Bellamy laugh, making her splash him. Both of them fully submerged in the water, only their faces could be seen.

"I should have drowned you," he said, looking annoyed.

Kaya glared at him. "Fine, I get. You're still pissed about Octavia."

He shrugged. "Yeah but also you were annoying me."

"I'm annoying?" She hadn't realized she had been.

Bellamy ran has hand over wet his hair, making it look slick. "When you're denying about not protecting Octavia."

"You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"No."

"What can I do to make you forget?"

"A lot of things," Bellamy grinned, getting closer to her. "What's up with you and your boyfriend?"

She frowned, confused. "Boyfriend?"

"Finn." He gave her a knowing look. "Saw the two of you be icy with each other."

Kaya sighed. There goes her good mood. "He's not my boyfriend."

A look crossed his face. For a second she thought it was a disappointment but she couldn't be sure because his face had changed, wearing a devious smile. He moved closer to her, making her move back. Kaya stopped when she hit a rock.

"I was thinking that a way to piss of your boyfriend was to give him a taste of his medicine but looks like plans have changed."

"What?" She swallowed, feeling confused and nervous. He was so close to her, allowing her to see that he had freckles.

"Are you afraid?" he smirked.

"No," she breathed.

She wasn't stupid. Kaya knew what he was trying to do. What he wanted. It's just that Kaya didn't know what to do. She was afraid that if she pushed him off, he would get mad and she didn't want that. Thomas advice kept ringing. She needed Bellamy by her side. If she didn't, she was going to end up like Wells, beaten up or Clarke, who may or may not lose an arm.

"I'm just waiting for you," she said.

"Good." Bellamy got even closer. Taking a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves, Kaya gave him a smile. _He's a guy, what do guys want?_

As if reading her mind, Bellamy leaned in and kissed her. Kaya was surprised but didn't push him off. Quickly regaining her composure and trying to remind herself how to kiss, Kaya returned him the favor, pressing herself closer to her. She bit his lower lip, making him push her even more to the rock.

_He's in, _she mentally high-fived herself.

* * *

He had overheard the guards talking about how the signal for several of the delinquents wristbands had disappeared. They had named a few names, not all, and wasn't sure whether or not he didn't hear Kaya names.

It was frustrating that they had lost communication with the kids. Now they wouldn't know what was happening down there. The biggest theory they had was that they were dying. But it didn't make sense. It the radio

"Hey! Thomas!" someone called out his name, making him cringe and reluctantly turned around.

It was Raven, someone who he had been trying to avoid.

Their relationship was odd. They weren't friends, or so that's what Raven would tell him (she like him but would never admit it). They meet when Raven went to visit Kaya about two years ago. He greeted her cheerily making Raven look at him as he grew two heads. After that whenever she would come and visit Kaya, he would be there, to escort her to Kaya's cell. Thomas would try and make small talk with her, asking about Kaya and how long has she known her, stories about her and overall just to be friendly. But Raven found him annoyingly cheery_—_making him realize that's where Kaya got her snarkiness.

"Are you avoiding me?" she demanded.

"No," he lied, giving her his usual smile, that felt forced and she would see through.

"Good," she smiled, not seeing anything wrong with him. "What was is going on?"

"Excuse me? What's going on? Nothing is going on. I'm just walking." Thomas felt his inside cringe at how obvious he was being. He had never good at lying, he was an honest guy. An open book they would call them. A terrible liar from his side and a persistent curiosity from Raven, it was not a good combination.

Raven gave him a look. "Don't act stupid Thomas, you're a smart guy. And a guard, that means you know what's happening. What is the counsel hiding?"

"A check up is happening. Something broke and their fixing it. Nothing to worry about," Thomas waved her off.

Raven narrowed her eyes. "You're lying," she accused him. "You're a terrible liar. Everybody knows that. You're lying."

"I'm not lying." He tried to look straight in her eyes, hoping she believed him. Raven watched him carefully.

"Okay, fine. I'm letting it go." Thomas tried to hold his sigh of relief. "For now."

And tried to hold back his groan. He refused to insist that it was nothing, fearing that would only make things worse. He was better at keeping his mouth shut.

"What about the quarantine?" Raven asked. "When am I able to visit Finn? Or Kaya?"

_Never, _he thought. "I don't know. A lot of the delinquent got affected so they're trying to keep it for a while. It's a mess, we're trying to fix it. Even the guards are being numbered, not all allowed in," he resisted what they had been told to say to the people.

Raven deflated, unhappy about the situation. Thomas congratulated himself for making the lie believable.

"I'm sorry," he tried

Raven nodded dejectedly. "That sucks."

"Yeah it does," Thomas agreed, thinking about the half truth he told her. It was a mess, they didn't know how bad it was. And weren't sure when they were going to find out.

"But it's weird," Raven mused.

"What weird?" he asked quickly.

"The whole thing. The deploy and that the delinquents are in quarantine. Something doesn't fit."

"There have been quarantined before," Thomas pointed out, trying to keep her off track.

"No. Not like this, something isn't wrong," she grabbed his arm. "Come on, don't tell me you aren't a bit suspicious of anything?"

Thomas laughed nervously. "Raven don't be paranoid. Don't make a big deal out of something small, no matter how weird you find it."

Raven shook her head. "Don't you care? What happens to Kaya?"

Thomas glared at her, his nervousness gone. "Of course, I do. That's why I'm not trying to think of the worse. I will lose my mind. They're fine." _I really, really hope they are, if not..._

"I'm sorry, I just have a bad feeling. Finn and Kaya are my family, I don't want anything to happen to them."

"I understand," Thomas told her gently, accepting the apology. "I get that you're worried, they would be too if it was the opposite."

"They would want to find out," Raven said eagerly. Thomas nodded. "You're a guard. Can't you get more information about what's going on? Please? I'm sounding desperate, that's how much I'm worried."

Thomas nodded, defeated. He wanted to calm her down and himself, in honesty.

"I'll go see what I can find out," he said, making Raven brighten. "But I can't make you promises. Okay?"

"Okay, okay, okay," she grinned.

"Good."

Raven pushed him away. "Okay then go."

Thomas blinked. "What?"

"Go and find out what is going on." She swatted him to get away from her.

"I can't go right now. I have a job," he exclaimed.

Raven gave him a look. "That is currently on hold. You said it yourself, guards are being cut off."

"What make you think I'm one of them?" Thomas asked, offended.

She snorted. "No offense, but you're not exactly guard material. I'm surprised you're even one."

"What the hell? I'm trying really hard not to be offended."

"You're too soft. Too nice. You wouldn't hurt a fly. I can be a better guard than you," Raven said smugly.

"Keep it up Reyes and I'll float you," he threatened.

"It's a joke dude. I thought you were all sunshine and rainbows but I guess you aren't," Raven smiled. "I'm glad you aren't. It's not normal for someone to be that happy."

"It's like I'm talking to Kaya," Thomas muttered. "But I'm going to go before you insult me more."

Raven rolled his eyes. "Don't forget," she reminded his retreating form.

"Forget what?" he called over his shoulder.

"I'm serious Thomas," she shouted.

He laughed and took a turn to the left. He continued walking, not sure what to do. _Should I find out more?_ he wondered. He did want to know what was going on but was afraid to what he would see. Thomas knew that Raven would continue pestering him and when she would realize that he wouldn't help, she would take manners to her own hand. Probably getting her in trouble.

Making his mind, he headed to where all the data was being held. And where he knew for sure that Dr. Griffin would be. She practically lived in that room. The only time she would leave is to check the Chancellor, that got shot.

Thomas walked in hesitantly to the room, where it was solely occupied by the women. She didn't seem to know he was in the room, to absorbed at staring at the monitor that had various stats with images of the delinquents. Some of the delinquent stats were blank, having no signal. He tried to find Kaya's but it was impossible, there were too many delinquents. Straightening up his posture and uniform, he gripped his gun for a second, seeking the courage.

"Dr. Griffin," he called out tentatively.

The woman turned around. "Oh hello Thomas. And Abby I keep telling your knucklehead."

He smiled lightly but refused to call her Abby. She deserved to be named after her title.

"What can I do for you, Thomas? Are you okay?" She went immediately into doctor mode.

"No, I'm fine," he brushed off her concern. "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. I just ..." Thomas hesitated, not sure if he should ask.

But Dr. Griffin seemed to know what he wanted. "About the kids?"

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. This was harder than he thought. "I know this is a secret but I really wanted to know how's it going?"

"It's fine. A lot of people are worried. Though I'm surprised you are."

"I know a few people who are down Earth," he said vaguely.

Dr. Griffin nodded in understanding. "You must care about them if you're here looking for me."

"They mean a lot. And I really want to know if they're okay."

"What's their name?" Dr. Griffin was already on a computer, ready to type their name

"Uh, Finn Collin's and Kaya Campbell."

She quickly typed Finns name first. His image appeared along with his information and from what he could decipher, he had a steady pulse. He nodded, pleased that he would have good news for Raven. When Dr. Griffin typed next Kaya's name, he felt his inside grow cold, when he saw signal lost.

_No, no, no, no, _he repeated. _She can't be dead. She can't. _

"I'm sorry Thomas," Dr. Griffin went towards him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

He took a deep breath and gave her a terse nod. "What is going on?"

She sighed, rubbing his face in frustration. "I wish I knew Thomas. We lost all connection to them and it's hard to see what happenings with all their signals disappearing."

"How many?" He looked at the monitor, not liking what he was seeing.

"Going to thirty," she frowned.

He inhaled, that was a lot of numbers. But at least it wasn't over half. "I wonder what's happening? It can't be radiation."

"Why would you say that?" Dr. Griffin looked at him curiously.

Thomas felt embarrassed. "I was just a thought."

"No, no. Tell me. It's refreshing to hear that it's radiation."

In that moment, Thomas could see how tired and stress Dr. Griffin looked.

Thomas nodded. He took a step forward the monitors. "Well, there a hundred delinquents, that are clever and come up with the craziest things. And only thirty have lost their signals. The rest are still there. What happens before a signal disappears?"

Dr. Griffin was looking at him with utmost interest. "There's a spike in their vitals before the signal disappears."

Thomas pursed his lips. "It means they go through a small pain. Kinda like the one they felt when we placed the bracelets."

Dr. Griffin looked at him in awe. "Are you saying that something they're doing is causing Thor signal to disappear?"

"They're teenagers. They're probably messing with the bracelets, trying to figure out what it's supposed to be. It was no secret that they hated them."

Dr. Griffin smiled tiredly. "If only the council thought like you."

"It's just a thought. I don't know but it's better than think that they're dying." Dr. Griffin assistant came into the room, making Thomas step back. "Thank you, Dr. Griffin," he told her sincerely.

She smiled at him. "Abby is fine Thomas, don't treat me like a strange. I've known you since you were a child. I was your pediatrician."

Thomas blushed, at the reminded of Dr. Griffin forcing him to pull down his pants, to stay just in his underwear, when he was six for his check up.

"Yeah, but not anymore," Thomas mumbled. "Goodbye."

"Bye Thomas. Don't hesitate to come back," Dr. Griffin waved at him before getting distracted by something she was shown.

"Don't worry I won't," he whispered to himself. Thomas didn't learn much but there was still a possibility.

When getting out if the room, in the corner of his eye he saw Raven sneaking around, surely up to something.

He sighed. _Of course she wouldn't let it go. Dammit Raven._

Going to a corner, close to the room where Dr. Griffin was, he leaned against the wall and waited. Ready for Raven to get caught and kicked out of the room.

* * *

**The chapter song I had in mind, especially the water scene, was _Swimming_ by _Florence and the Machine._**

**Thanks for everything! Leave reviews! Reviews would really help to see if I made the right decision.**

**Any errors I will fix!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the 100, just my OC's**


	5. You Know Nothing

**Sorry for the almost month wait but here you go. Happy reading :)**

* * *

**Chapter Five: You Know Nothing**

* * *

After what seemed an hour, Thomas was leaning against the wall, drumming his fingers against his thigh, when he finally saw Raven walk out of the room, looking pleased with herself, making him frown and run after her.

_What did she do?_ he thought in annoyance and went towards Raven, grabbing her arm. She jerked her arm violently from him and turned around, ready to give that person a piece of her mind. She relaxed when she saw that it was just Thomas.

"Oh, it's just you. I thought it was someone else."

"What the hell were you thinking of going there? I said I would handle it."

"You were taking a long time and I was getting impatient," she told him matter-of-factly.

"That was like thirty minutes ago," Thomas said exasperatedly. "I was going to tell you what I found out."

"Yeah well, whatever. I usually like to deal things myself."

"Then why did you ask me to do this?" He almost yelled at her. She always did that to him. Made him go to wild goose chase and then, in the end, find out that she did it already.

"I wanted to make you feel useful." Raven didn't look ashamed of what she did. In fact, she looked proud. Thomas glared at her, his patience running thin.

"Okay, look, I'm sorry what I did but you know how impatient I am," Raven attempted to mend her error. "But if it makes anything better, I found out a lot."

"What happened?" Thomas asked Raven, his curiosity getting the best of him, despite his initial anger towards her.

"Well, I hid inside the vents," Raven started.

"You got caught didn't you?" Thomas cut her off.

Raven shrugged, not caring. "Who cares? What matters is what I find out."

"What _did_ you find out?" Thomas asked eagerly. _Please be something good. Please be something good._

"You know how they're losing signal of the delinquents," Raven told him excitedly.

"Yeah. What about it."

"Well, they're taking them off."

"They're taking what off?" Thomas frowned, not understanding.

"The bracelets. The one they place on them," Raven explained. "The delinquents are taking them off. That's what is causing for them to lose the signal."

Thomas' eyes widened, realizing what she was saying. He remembered the complaining and struggle the guards had to deal with the delinquents and putting the bracelet on their right wrist. He shouldn't be surprised that they would be doing that.

"Are you telling me that they're not dying?" Overwhelming relief flooded him. _She's fine. Kaya's fine. She just took off the stupid bracelet._

"Yeah," she smiled, sharing the same relief. "Some of them still have it but the majority is taking them off. Hopefully."

"What does that mean?" Thomas asked sharply.

"It means that the taking of the bracelet is the only cause of losing their signal. Someone of them disappear because they die."

"What?" Thomas' eyes widened in horror. Seeing his face, Raven quickly assured him.

"But Kaya isn't dead. God no. She's a fighter. And she has Finn. She's fine. He won't let anything happen to her."

Thomas nodded. She's right. Finn loved Kaya. He would take care of her. Besides, Kaya might not be the strongest person but she was smart and had someone who cared about her.

"They're okay," Thomas said, trying to assure himself.

"Yeah, they are. They're okay," Raven echoed, feeling the same scared emotion.

_Please don't die, Kaya. You have to survive._

* * *

Reasons why her life sucks number 95: Dealing with narcissistic assholes.

"Fuck off."

"Come on."

"I said fuck off."

"Just admit it."

"No."

"Stop being proud and admit it."

"I won't admit it cause it's not true!" Bellamy argued, refusing to meet her accusing eyes. She sighed impatiently, already losing the little patience she had over him.

"Why not? Just say we're lost, Bellamy!" Kaya yelled. "And I will leave you alone."

Bellamy got up from his crouching position and turned to face her. "Were not lost," he gritted, refusing to admit the obvious truth.

She laughed sardonically. "And I'm not blonde. Just be a man and admit that were lost."

He stalked up to her, looking down to her. "I liked you better when your mouth was occupied," he smirked.

"And I liked you better when you didn't get us lost," she said sweetly, making him glared at her.

"We're not lost," he insisted.

"Twelve."

"What?" He looked at her liked she grew an extra head.

"That's the twelfth time you have insisted that we aren't late. If we're not lost then how come we haven't found the others?" challenged Kaya.

"Maybe I want us to be alone," Bellamy said, giving her a haughty smile. Kaya shot him a withering look. "We're not lost," he insisted.

"I don't believe you." Kaya ran her fingers through her still damp hair. It's been about ten minutes since they left the river and about five minutes when Kaya realized they had no idea where the others were. Or where they were.

"All these stupid trees look alike," Kaya muttered annoyed, that they couldn't find a certain tree that was different from the others.

But apparently not in Bellamy's case. "Not really. That's an oak tree and that's redwood." Bellamy pointed to the similar looking trees.

Kaya looked at him strangely. "Seriously?"

"What?" Bellamy asked defensively. "Didn't you pay attention to science class?"

"No, I usually doodled or talked to Finn."

"Really? Those literally were the most interesting classes out of all of them."

"I was arrested when I turned fourteen," she reminded him sourly. "It didn't give me a chance to learn more of the advanced stuff. Besides, how was I supposed to know I was going to need this in a few years. The only tree we had was about five inches tall. If I would have fucking known, I would have fucking stayed awake in the fucking class."

For the first time since the river, Bellamy cracked a smile. "Okay, calm down, Kaya."

That's when Kaya lost it. "Calm down?! Oh my fucking God Bellamy! We didn't know where the others are! What are we supposed to do?! You won't admit that—"

Bellamy cut her off by covering her mouth. "Shut up," he hissed, looking around.

She tried to move her face but be that made him tighten his grip on her face.

"What?" Her voice came out muffled.

"Did you hear that?" he asked quietly. She froze, scared that it was the people who attacked Jasper.

"Grounders?" she asked. Bellamy focused trying to hear what it was. This time, she heard the noise. It was shouting. Kaya perked up and successfully pushed Bellamy away from her. "Wait, I think it's Wells. Wells?!" Kaya shouted, going to the noise.

"What are you doing?" hissed Bellamy, yanking her back to him. "It could be a Grounder."

"Or it's Wells," she snapped, pushing him away from her. Bellamy muttered something under his breath, that she pretty sure weren't nice things. She moved towards a small little hill and yelled, "Wells?!"

"Kaya?! Is that you?!" Wells shouted back.

"See I told you it was him," Kaya smirked triumphantly to Bellamy. "Over here Wells!"

"Well let me give you a congratulatory kiss," Bellamy drawled sarcastically, looking annoyed.

"No thank you." She turned and ran, following Wells' voice.

"Wells! Over here," she shouted again. Kaya could see Wells from far away. And he looked like he still was with Murphy.

"Hurry up Bellamy," Kaya called over her shoulder.

Bellamy was walking leisurely behind her, taking his time. Wells meet them halfway, looking happy to see here.

"There you guys are," Wells looked relieved to see her. "I was worried about you, Kaya. I thought something happened to you."

"I'm fine, as you can see." Kaya gave him a small reassuring smile.

"Why's your hair wet?" Wells picked a damp strand, looking baffled.

"Bellamy tried to drown me," said Kaya casually, her hands running through her tangle hair. Wells looked at her in shock when he saw that she looked serious.

"I thought you said you were fine?" he demanded as he shot Bellamy a dirty look.

"I am fine," she assured him again. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bellamy roll his eyes and go to Murphy.

"Where's Finn and Clarke?" Kaya peered over his shoulder, not seeing the other two.

Wells expression darkened. "They're over there." He jerked his head towards the direction he came from. "They're waiting for us."

Kaya clenched her jaw, slightly annoyed that Finn wasn't the one looking for her.

Wells noticed her expression. "Yeah I feel you," he muttered before walking away.

"What?" Kaya started after him when she realized what he meant. "Wait what? No. Just stop."

She ran after Wells, partially shoving Bellamy to the side to reach Wells.

"No. I—no," she denied to Wells.

Wells smiled a little. "I didn't say anything."

Kaya scoffed. "Trust me. Everybody knows the universal sign of when someone thinks you like someone."

Wells simply looked at her, shaking his head. She was going to talk again when she saw Finn and Clarke crouch down together in a really close proximity.

_That's it I give up. He can do whatever the fuck he wants. Please, Raven forgive me. I really tried, _Kaya sighed internally.

Finn glanced over his shoulder to see who joined them. His eyes narrowed when he saw her hair.

"Why are you wet?"

"Why are you wet?" she retorted back when she saw that he also had damped hair.

It didn't escape her attention that Clarke's clothes were also wet. Remembering what she had done with Bellamy, she didn't doubt they might have been doing the same thing. Or worse, Finn always knew how to charm people.

Finn shot her an unamused look and turned back to whatever he had been previously doing with Clarke.

"Hey, how do we know this is the right way?" Murphy complained.

Kaya shot him an annoyed look. All he has been doing is complain. And made a rude remark to her. Why did Bellamy invite him?

"We don't," Bellamy retorted, stepping beside her. "Spacewalker thinks he's a tracker."

Bellamy bumped his shoulder into her, making her shoot him a warning look. He laughed and walked away from her, making it look that's simply what he had meant to do.

"It's called cutting sign. Fourth year Earth skills. He's good," Wells surprisingly defended Finn.

Kaya was also surprised that Wells knew that about Finn. Not even she knew that about him. Or was it something everybody learned in school? Kaya glared at the ground, finding another reason she hated her life.

Reason #104: She's a complete idiot in nature skills.

Finn sighed impatiently. "You want to keep it down or should I paint a target on your backs?" he said sarcastically.

Everybody quiet down when a loud crunching noise made everybody turned towards Kaya, who accidentally stepped on a branch. Internally she added another reason why her life sucked, she needed to be more careful.

"Sorry," she apologized, cringing at everybody's stares. Finn shot her a dirty look while Bellamy tried to hide his amused laugh. Curious of exactly what Finn was doing she went on her knees next to him.

"How do you know this?" she asked hesitantly, giving Finn the friendliest smile she could muster.

Finn looked at her with a blank stare before nodding towards a broken branch. "You have to look for manmade disturbances in nature. Like a footprint in the dirt or…" He broke off and approached a nearby bush, picking up a broken branch. "Something like this."

"Blood," Clarke said, practically pushing her to see the bloody branch.

"We must be close," Finn murmured to Clarke. Both shared a significant look, making Kaya get up and step back.

"See? You're invisible," she heard Bellamy tell Wells.

"What is your problem with taunting people?" Kaya asked annoyed. "Leave him alone."

Bellamy smirked and leaned in, his face an inch from hers. "Does it bother you, Kaya?"

Kaya shifted uncomfortably and took a step back. "You in my personal space bothers me."

Bellamy facial expression didn't change. "You seem to be forgetting that less than an hour I was in your personal space and you didn't mind."

She was about to snap back when a guttural moan was heard in the distant, making everybody freeze.

"What the hell was that?" Murphy asked, with slight fear.

Clarke nodded to Bellamy. "Now would be a good time to take out that gun." She walked towards the moaning continued coming from. Everybody followed her, more hesitantly.

In a clearing, there was a thick, misshapen tree stood in the middle of the high grass. In that tree, his hands tied to the branch above him was Jasper. He was unconscious and pale, with his shirt off and blood and dirt splattered across his body.

"Jasper," Clarke whispered in horror.

"Oh God," whispered Kaya, disgusted and horrified at the sight. How was he still alive?

"Oh my God, Jasper." Clarke started walking towards him.

"Clarke, be careful," Finn warned.

Kaya continued staring at the ugly sight that she flinched when she heard Clarke's yelp. Her eyes widened when she saw that Clarke had fallen into a hole.

"Clarke! Pull her up!" She shoved Finn towards her, but it wasn't necessary. He was already running towards her.

Kaya ran towards them and saw that the only reason Clarke hadn't fallen to her death was because Bellamy was holding her. For a horrible second Kaya though Bellamy was actually going to let her go. Not trusting his dark look, Kaya shoved Finn to help, who had stayed where he was. Looking at her questioningly, he ran to grab Clarke's other hand.

"You okay?" Finn asked when Clarke was standing on solid ground again.

"Yeah," Clarke said, panting, fear still evident on her face. Looking up, she focused on the bigger problem. "We need to get him down."

"I'll climb up there and cut the vines," Finn said, walking towards the tree trunk.

"Yeah, I'm with you," Wells said, going towards the tree but stopped by Finn.

"No. Stay with Clarke and Kaya. And watch him," Finn ordered, sending a distrusting look at Bellamy, who was standing next to Kaya.

"You." Finn nodded to Murphy. "Let's go."

"What's that green thing on his chest?" Kaya asked, staring up at Jasper, who looked like he was dead.

"There's a poultice on his wound," Clarke said, looking confused.

"Medicine? Why would they save his life just to string him up as live bait?" Wells asked.

"Maybe what they're trying to catch likes his dinner to be breathing," Bellamy suggested.

Kaya shot Bellamy a look, who noticed. "What? Why else would they have him like that?"

"Maybe what they're trying to catch is us," Finn said from where he was.

Kaya closed her hand, making them into a tight fist.

"Scared?" Bellamy whispered to her, noticing her stiff stance.

She shot him a look. "No. Just worried."

Bellamy nodded, not believing her. "Don't worry, I'll protect you," he said in a mocking voice. She ignored him but didn't step away from him.

"Hurry up, Murphy," Finn said to Murphy. She looked up to see that they were trying to untie the knots that were holding up Jasper.

"Be careful," Clarke called out to them.

Kaya shot her an annoyed look. "No really," she snapped, tense and irritated that they still were here. She didn't like being here. She didn't like what they did to Jasper. This was grounder territory and it was clear that they weren't welcome.

A loud rustling noise suddenly came from the high grass to their right. Everybody stilled, not liking the new addition.

"What the hell was that?" Murphy asked again, in the same scared tone.

"Grounders?" Bellamy suggested, shifting next to Kaya.

"I don't think so," Kaya said slowly.

Another snarled emitted, sounding more like an animal than human.

"Yeah that's not a grounder," Kaya seized Bellamy's arm, definitely scared. Bellamy looked at her hand, not saying anything.

The beast was lunging towards them. Kaya was about to walk heading to the two of them. She felt Bellamy freeze next to her.

"Bellamy, gun!" shouted Clarke.

Bellamy raised his shirt to reach for his gun when he grabbed empty space.

"Where's the gun?" Kaya asked, freaking out. They were going to die.

"I don't know," Bellamy's voice came out strained.

Bullet noise echoed the air, making them look to see Wells had the gun and was shooting towards the animal. The beast disappeared from the view making everybody tense and looking around wildly.

"Shit," Kaya whispered. "Where is it?"

"Get back," Bellamy shoved her behind him which she was happier to go, preferring the beast to get to him.

Out of nowhere a feral snarl come from their left. Turning around, Kaya saw the beast was going to lunge at them. Quickly Bellamy shoved harshly Kaya out of the way, making her fall to the ground. She cried out in pain when she felt something pierce her skin. Kaya couldn't see what happened next but heard a roar, gunshot, and a gun clicking repeatedly, showing there were no more bullets in it. Raising her head she saw the creature lying dead in front of an out of breath Bellamy.

"You okay?" Bellamy panted, going towards her and helping her get up.

"I-I... yeah." Kaya nodded numbly. She felt something wet trickle down her hand, making her look and see that she had cut her hand.

_Blood. _

It's been a long time since she seen herself bleed. And seeing the blood rushing down, staining her, stirred something inside of her. Longing. She stared at it, not doing anything to stop the blood from pouring.

"What are you doing?" Bellamy grabbed her hand roughly. "Cover it."

"Let me go." Kaya pulled her hand away, not listening to him.

She saw the large beast, dead, on the floor. She felt anxious at just staring at its immobile state when a few seconds ago it had just about to kill them.

Finn, finally getting off the tree, rushed towards her. "Are you okay?" he asked fear all over his face. He grabbed her arms and inspected her, checking for injuries.

"Now you care." She shoved him away, irritated by everything that's happened.

Confusion washed over Finn's face. "Kaya, calm down."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she hissed, feeling a strong urge to hit him. But it was squashed down by Wells.

"Kaya, want to help?" Wells suggested, seeing the tension between the two.

"Fine." Glaring at Finn, she headed towards Wells. "What do you want?" she practically spat.

Wells looked taken back at her tone. "Nothing, I just thought you wanted to get away from him."

Kaya felt her anger deflate and felt immediately horrible for talking to Wells in that rude tone. "Oh, God Wells. I'm so_—_"

Wells stopped her. "It's fine. I get what's it like to have a frustrating best friend."

Kaya attempted to smile. "What happened to your previous assumption?"

Wells shrugged. "I take them back. I misjudge." His tone sounded funny but Kaya didn't really bother. Her attention went back to her still bleeding had. Gingerly, she touched her blood.

"You should cover that, it looks bad," observed Wells.

Kaya glanced at him and saw his genuine worry. The other two times she had snapped at Bellamy and Finn, irritated by their pretend worry but with Wells, she knew he meant it.

"I will," she promised.

"Good," grinned Wells. "I don't want you dying. You seem to be the only person that doesn't hate me."

Kaya felt her inside twist at his innocent words. She didn't really like him when they got down here, with her grudge at his dad but she never hated him.

"What are we going to do now?" Kaya asked.

"Get Jasper to the dropship and hope Clarke can save him." Wells nodded towards where the others were helping carry an unconscious Jasper. "I better go help."

Kaya nodded and watched Wells join the others. She glances back at her hand and tried to resist the urge to make her cut deeper.

Old habits die hard, I guess, she thought. Feeling a gaze on her, she looked up and saw Bellamy look at her with an unreadable expression.

She didn't like the way he was looking. It looked like he knew her darkest secret.

"Kaya," Finn called out. "Let's go."

With a single nod, she followed Finn and Wells that were carrying an unconscious Jasper with Clarke fussing over him.

* * *

"What are you doing?" asked Thomas boredly. He paced around and got tired of moving, plopped down on a stool that was right across the table that Raven was working on.

Raven sighed, looking from her work. "Don't you have a job?" She pointedly looked at his guard uniform he was wearing.

He shrugged. "That they need me? No. This is the time we usually feed the delinquents but seeing their not here, a lot of us don't have that much to do."

Raven sighed again. "Don't you have friends?"

"You're my friend," Thomas pointed out.

"No, I'm not," disagreed Raven.

Thomas laughed at her look of disdain. "Admit it. You like hanging out with me." He grinned at her.

"No, I don't."

"Don't lie."

"I'm not."

"You're such a bitch," Thomas told her, smiling.

Raven couldn't stop herself from smiling. "And you're a dumbass."

He rolled his eyes, getting up from his stool, he started pacing around again, annoying Raven again.

"God, Thomas stay still. I can't concentrate with your squeaky shoes. Ugh," she complained, grabbing her head in frustration.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"Hey, Raven," this guy walked in the room.

"What's up, Kevin?" Raven grinned at him.

"Someone needs a mechanic over at the lower section of the lunch room."

Raven frowned, confused at the location, but nodded. "Okay, thanks."

"Great. See you later," Kevin said and gave a nod to Thomas, leaving them two alone.

Cleaning her hands, Raven get up from her seat and started walking around the room collecting her stuff and placing them back to their place.

"Can I come?" Thomas asked, looking at her hopefully. He didn't have a shift for the rest of the day.

"Why do you want to go?" Raven said, not looking at him as she prepared her materials.

"I'm bored," he shrugged. "I don't have anything else to do."

Raven laughed. "You're a sad man, Hunter."

Thomas disagreed. "No, I'm a very chirpy person."

"That is true. You are annoyingly chirpy." She agreed, already set to go.

"Can I go or not?" Thomas asked impatiently, tapping his foot. He did want to go. He didn't want to go back to his empty apartment and stare at the wall blankly, his dark thoughts getting the best of him. Being with Raven distracted him. She understood what he was going through and together, they helped each other forget. He knew that despite her any protest, Raven appreciated Thomas being there and keeping her company.

Raven sighed. "Sure why not? Better to keep you from roaming around loose?"

Thomas frowned getting up. "What am I? A puppy?"

Both walked out of the room bickering about pretty much everything. They continued until they reached their destination.

"Okay, shut up," ordered Raven, cutting of Thomas mid-sentence. "Where here." She pointed towards a door. "Watch and learn how the professionals do it." She grinned at him, making him snort. Going to a speaker, she pressed a button and leaned in to spoke into it. "Did someone call for a mechanic?"

There was a noise on the other side of the door before opening and revealing Dr. Abby Griffin. "You're the one who called in the work order?" Raven asked, surprised. She nodded.

"What?" Thomas blurted out, catching the attention of Dr. Griffin.

"Thomas, what are you doing here?" Dr. Griffin asked, looking surprised at seeing him standing behind Raven, looking out of place.

"I_—_I didn't know it was you," Thomas stammered. "I should go. This is_—_I'm going."

"Thomas, no," Raven ordered, pointing him to stay right where he was. She looked at Dr. Griffin, raising his eyebrow. "He's with me. He's staying. Got a problem and we'll leave."

"That's not nice_—_" Thomas was mortified at how Raven talked to Dr. Griffin, someone from the council.

"Thomas." Raven's sharp voice caused him to shut up. Dr. Griffin gave Raven and Thomas calculating looks, nodding in consent.

"We need to talk," she told Raven.

With a nod, both got into the room. Thomas crinkled his nose at the smell and heat that was coming from his room. It looked like it was a boiler room or storage room when he noticed many old pieces.

"Look, I told you I'm not gonna say anything, okay?" Raven promised her, assuming that's what Dr. Griffin was talking about. "Except him, he doesn't count." Raven jerked her head to Thomas.

"I won't tell either," he promised hastily, not knowing exactly what Raven was talking about.

Abby nodded. "I believe you, and you're not in trouble. Follow me." She motioned them to move.

"Not in trouble yet, you mean," Raven muttered to Thomas, sharing a distrustful look with him.

_What is going on?_ he mouthed.

_I don't know,_ shrugged Raven.

Suddenly Raven stopped when she saw where they were heading. "This level's off limits for people like me."

Dr. Griffin shook his head. "Not anymore."

Raven crossed her arm, listening. "You know that we sent the hundred down to the ground. What you don't know is why. The Ark is dying, Raven."

Raven looked shocked and glanced at Thomas for confirmation. He nodded begrudgingly.

Dr. Griffin continued talking. "Life support is on its last legs. I have ten days to prove that Earth is survivable or they're gonna start reducing the population. Three hundred and twenty innocent people will be killed."

Raven looked confused. "I don't get it. Why are you telling me this?"

"I looked up your file. You're the youngest zero-g mechanic on the Ark in fifty years." Dr. Griffin looked impressed at Ravens accomplishment.

"Fifty-two," corrected Thomas, making Raven glare at him. "What? You always brag about it."

She shook her head. "Fifty-two," Raven agreed. "But, so what? So…"

"You have nine days to get this ready so I can survive a drop."

Dr. Griffin had taken off the tarp, revealing a huge, old spaceship. That didn't look like it could work, Thomas considered, seeing the rust and grime it had collected over the years.

Raven scoffed at the mess in front of her. She walked over to it and took off the rest of the tarp. "God, what a piece of junk. They must have found this thing when they salvaged Mir-3 in twenty-one oh two. You want _me _to get a hundred and thirty-year-old escape pod ready to stand up to the inferno of reentry in nine days?"

"Can you do it or not?" Abby asked impatiently.

Raven nodded, turning to both of them, grinning. "Hell, yes, I can do it, but I'm going with you. You're not the only one with someone you love on the ground. Those are my terms. Take it or leave it." Raven crossed her arms defiantly.

Dr. Griffin stared at her. "Alright. What about you Thomas? You have your own terms?"

Thomas was startled at being mention. "Uh, no. I'm fine. Raven can go for me. If both of you go, you're going to need someone here to give you inside information."

Abby nodded, looking seemingly satisfied by his answer. "I knew you we're smart Thomas." She nodded to Raven. "You can come with me."

"You got yourself a mechanic," Raven grinned and nudge Thomas, excited about the arrangement.

Thomas stared uneasily at the old pod. He didn't doubt Ravens skill, she was the best at what she did, but he couldn't help thinking that there was no way she would able to make this old piece of junk work in nine days.

"Hope you know what you're doing Raven," Thomas muttered to her, away from Dr. Griffin earshot. "Desperate measures have a high cost."

"They're worth it," Raven said confidently. "Don't you want to see how Kaya is?"

Thomas nodded. "Of course, I do." _I just am afraid of what can happen. _Looking back at the pod, he hoped Raven would not fail.

* * *

With the toe of her shoe, Kaya aimlessly drew in the dirt. She was sitting alone on a fallen trunk near the dropship. After the group had arrived at the camp, Kaya let the others carry Jasper into the drops by while she lingered back, knowing that her assistance had terminated.

She remembered the cheering everybody made when Bellamy announced food was here. They all saw him as a hero, which she guess was a good thing. The delinquents needed someone to tell them everything was going to be okay. Although she wouldn't mind it would be someone who was a little less arrogant.

Not wanting to be around people, she looked for a secluded area. Finding the perfect one, Kaya finally felt at ease. She wasn't sure if it was because she wasn't used to spending time with people or with all the events that have been happening but Kaya felt suffocated.

She looked down to her drawing and was a little pleased that it didn't come out that horrible. She had ended up drawing a bird. Kaya felt her fingers twitch, missing the feeling of drawing. It's been only two days since she last drew and she already felt off balance. She perked up when she remembered her blade that she had. Taking it out of the inside pocket of her jacket, she grabbed it and examined it.

"I've missed you," she told the inanimate object. "Where should I draw?" she murmured, looking around.

She brightened when she noticed the dropship wall. "That could work," she approved. It was metal, making it more difficult but she was up to a challenge.

Kaya got up gingerly from the trunk, brushing herself from dirt. Going towards the wall, she touched it, feeling the rough metal against her skin.

"Kaya," a voice a called out her hesitantly. She turned to be surprised that it was Clarke stepping from a bush.

"Clarke." Kaya felt confused. What was she doing here? "Shouldn't you be with Jasper?"

Clarke nodded, looking unsure. "Yeah, but I heard you got hurt and I wanted to check on it."

Kaya frowned. "There's a dying boy inside the dropship that got shot in the chest and you're here checking on me that just got a small little cut?" she asked incredulously.

Clarke gave her a tense smile. "Jasper is fine. In pain but alive."

"That's comforting but why are you here? I doubt you really care about my well-being."

"Finn sent me here," Clarke explained, apologetic for introducing her solace. "He was worried and wanted to make sure you were okay. He was very persistent about it."

"Really?" Kaya shouldn't be surprised of Finn's worry but somehow she was.

"Yeah," Clarke said impatiently. "Just give me your hand or I'll grab it."

Reluctantly, Kaya extended her hand and letting Clarke grab it.

"Oh my God Kaya," exclaimed Clarke.

"What?" Kaya looked at her in surprised.

"This isn't tiny. This is huge, it's across your hand and deep. God, and it's still bleeding." Clarke scowled at Kaya who just shrugged. "Why didn't you cover it?" Clarke chastised her, prodding her wound and making Kaya flinch.

"Ow," Kaya hissed. "What the fuck?"

"It's not infected, so that's good. It's going to need to be clean and then bandage it." Clarke's voice sounded professional.

"Great." Kaya pulled her hand away. "I'll do that later."

"I don't think so. I have a wet rag and a bandage." Clarke grabbed her hand again, with a tighter grip. "Finn also told me_—_"

"About what?" Kaya asked sharply.

Clarke hesitated, taken aback by her tone. Looking straight in her eye, Clarke continued talking. "He told me you're not very responsible with your well-being."

Kaya narrowed her eyes, not believing her. "Really? Is that all he said while you two were making out?"

Clarke flinched. "No. Listen, Kaya. Me and Finn, we_—_we haven't done anything. We're not doing anything. And yes that was all he told me. He wanted to warn me about your reluctance of letting me check you over."

Kaya stared at her, trying to make sure Clarke was not lying. She was half tempted to tell Clarke that Finn had a girlfriend and that was a serious relationship, but she didn't. She might be irritated by Finn and his new stupidity but she wasn't a shitty best friend. That was him.

"I'm sorry," Kaya apologized reluctantly. "Sorry for assuming."

Clarke looked at her, searching for something. "You don't like Finn right?" she asked hesitantly.

Kaya looked at her perplexed but not surprised at that assumption. Everybody seemed to assume that. "No," Kaya agreed. "I don't like him. I can barely tolerate him now."

Kaya watched Clarke reaction. She saw the girl struggle to keep a straight face but Kaya could see the relief in her eyes.

"Oh," Clarke said, dabbing her cut with a damp cloth, cleaning off the dried blood. "Then why did you react that way? All aggressive and cold?"

Kaya clenched her jaw, not sure what to say. "Uh, well." She sighed, wanting for Clarke to stay away from Finn, not for his sake but for Raven's sake. Raven deserved better. "Finn is a nice guy but he's... Uh, careless when he's in a relationship. I know him and he's better off not dealing with romantic stuff," she said slowly, trying to not say too much.

Clarke froze. "Really?" She couldn't hide her disappoint.

Kaya nodded seriously. "Oh yeah. He's better off alone."

Clarke nodded, her gaze fixated on cleaning her already clean hand.

"Do you have a bandage?" Kaya asked, taking sympathy on the girl "Or is it all good now cause I want my hand back."

"Oh, sorry." Clarke quickly lets go of her hand. "It's already clean so I just need to bandage it."

Kaya nodded and watched as Clarke took out a rag and covered her wound, making it tight

"There you go. It's clean and covered. Don't take it off," Clarke warned.

"I don't think I can," Kaya muttered, not liking how tight Clarke made it. She could barely close her hand. Something told her Finn was behind this.

Clarke smiled a little. "Good. I'll check on you in a few days, to see if it's healed."

"No," Kaya denied quickly. "You don't have to do that. This is fine. I can do it myself."

Clarke gave her an amused look. "You're right. I don't have to but I want to. It's my job."

Kaya frowned. "You made yourself the doctor down here?"

"It's my job to take care. That's a doctor's job." Clarke's was sincere, taking what she said seriously.

"That's good," Kaya said honestly. She was taken back how much effort made to protect everybody.

Clarke nodded, looking over her shoulder. "I'm going to head back. Check on Jasper."

Kaya nodded in understanding. "Thanks for..." She pointed to her bandaged hand. "You didn't have to."

"No, I did. I could see how much Finn was worried. How much you mean to him," Clarke told her softly, making Kaya regret at what she had said to Finn back in the dropship. Clarke started walking away from her.

"I'm sorry about Finn," Kaya told her quietly.

Clarke glanced back. "It was just a question. I don't even know him."

"And you should remember that," Kaya murmured, sitting back down in the log and ignoring Clarke's questioning look.

* * *

Kaya decided it was best to join the rest when it grew even darker and she was unable to draw. After Clarke left, she decided to start carving the wall of the dropship. Feeling inspired by watching a bird she drew it. She made progress with one wing and promised herself that she will continue the next day when the sun shone.

Kaya felt her stomach growl, giving her a reminder that she hadn't eaten for almost two days. She wasn't much of water but still needed something inside of her to appease her stomach. Following the noise that delinquents made, she found the place lit up by fire. In the middle, the was a great flame that had people near it, all waiting in line.

Kaya watched confused at what was going on. Near the fire she saw Bellamy, looking incredibly pleased with himself and, like always, Murphy was next to him, doing his dirty work. She got slightly closer, to see what exactly was happening.

Spotting her, Bellamy told Murphy something quickly. Kaya watched as he walked over to her. She tried to remain evasive but felt herself grow nervous as he stopped in front of her.

"What's this?" She motioned to the line of delinquent that were waiting impatiently.

"Want food, take your bracelet off. Simple as that," Bellamy shrugged.

"Interesting," Kaya noted when she saw Murphy harshly hit a bracelet from a girls wrist. After the bracelet fell off, the girl got a piece of meat and left. A boy took her place and proceeded to repeat the cycle. It seemed like everybody seemed fine with the arrangement.

She could feel Bellamy's steely gaze. "Are you going do it or be like Clarke and Finn?" he asked her.

"What did they do?" Kaya looked for them to find them sitting alone, both wearing looks of disgust. But they were eating, leaving her wondering what happened.

"Refuse to follow the rules," Bellamy said bitterly, also looking at them.

"I thought there were no rules?" She smiled slightly at him but it seemed to be the wrong thing to say.

Bellamy looked at her sharply. "That's what Finn said," he gritted.

Kaya raised her hands in mock surrender. "It was a joke. Take it easy, Blake."

Bellamy's eyes focused in her empty wrist. Her sweater was pushed up to her elbows, revealing her upper arms.

"What?" She fidgeted at his stare.

"Where's your bracelet?" Bellamy asked grabbing her wrist and examining it. She felt uncomfortable at his scrutinizing gaze, especially when it started trailing up her scarred arm.

"It's somewhere on the floor." She tugged her arm but Bellamy had a tight grip, still staring at her arm.

"I don't remember taking it off," he told her.

"That's because you didn't," Kaya informed him, trying to give him a patient smile. "Now let go. I don't like being touched."

She tried to pull away again but Bellamy still refused to let go, instead, he dragged her away from the rest of the delinquents. He unknowingly was taking her where she had spent the last few hours.

"Bellamy what are you_—_ugh," she huffed when a branch hit her in the face. "Was that necessary?" Kaya asked when he finally let her go. "You could have told me to go with you. Not drag me here."

"Sorry," he apologized, not looking like here really cared, and pointed to where a small branch was in her hair. "You have something in our face."

"I know," she snapped, taking it off. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to talk to you in private."

"I can see that." She squinted, not being able to see him well in the darkness. The moonlight was faint, covered by the trees but it was enough to light to be able to leave her blind.

"About what?" Kaya asked suspiciously, knowing that Bellamy was the kind of guy that everything he did, there was an ulterior motive.

"Who took off your bracelet?" he asked, his tone accusing.

"Why do you care?" She crossed her arms, cocking her head. "It's off, don't you want that?"

Bellamy didn't look happy with her answer. "Fine then, when did you take it off?" he pressed on.

"I was the first person to take off their bracelet. When Finn failed to take his off he tried with mine and succeeded. Happy?"

Bellamy almost looked impressed. "First to get rid of that stupid bracelet. I didn't think you'd had it in you, Kaya."

"Thanks, I guess." She looked at him wearily.

"Wish other people were as willing as you," he mused, wearing a look of concentration.

"Uh, I'm sorry?"

Bellamy observed her for a few seconds. Kaya balled her hands and tried to not fidget under his gaze.

"For someone who seems to hate interacting with people," he started, his eyes still on her. "You seem to be good at getting people to do what you ask them. It would be great if you use it on Finn."

Bellamy looked at her somewhat pleadingly, making her suspicious. Was he asking for her help? But if he was, he was asking to manipulate Finn, and she didn't feel comfortable with that. She realized that Bellamy was watching, her waiting for her respond.

_Oh, God. He's serious, _she realized. "Alright, I'll try if you answer me this question."

"What question?" he asked, cocking his head.

"What did you have to do to get in this dropship?"

Bellamy was taken aback by her question and narrowed his eyes dangerously. "What are you talking about?"

"You see I've been thinking it over ever since I saw you and your sister in the dropship, which was an interesting reunion." She remembered seeing the look of happiness and relief when Bellamy laid on his baby sister.

"What?" he asked sharply, not her observations.

"How come the only one guard that was sent with the and out of all of them it was you." She pointed her index finger to him. "Octavia's brother. There was so many to choose, older and stronger guards with more experience. And instead, they choose you, a twenty-year-old_—_"

"Twenty-three," Bellamy corrected.

"What?" She blinked at him.

"I'm twenty-three. Not twenty."

"Twenty-three?" Kaya repeated, feeling her cheeks heat up in mortified. He was six years older than him. He must think she was an immature child who was arguing with him.

"How old are you?" Bellamy asked curiously. "Eighteen?"

"Seventeen," she said. Bellamy frowned at her age but shrugged not really bothered. "But as I was saying you did something to get here and I want to know why. And something tells me it has to do with the Ark."

Bellamy clenched his jaw. "That's none of your business."

"But_—_"

"You don't tell me why you got arrested, I don't tell you what I did to get her," he snapped. "I actually don't have to tell you anything. So I guess you should consider yourself lucky that I find you tolerable."

She glared at him. "You don't have to be an ass to me. I could scream right now and make everybody believe that you were trying to assualt me."

"You wouldn't do that," he said, not looking fazed.

"You don't know what I'm capable of."

"I think I have an idea of what you can do, seeing that you're here on Earth."

Kaya glanced at the floor and then the sky. She could scream, but Bellamy was right. She wouldn't do it. Not because she wasn't capable of it, but because she didn't want the attention. But Bellamy didn't know that. He thought she was She looked at Bellamy and forced herself to smile at him, hoping in the darkness it looked welcoming.

"I'm not going to scream," she assured him. "But can I say something?"

Bellamy looked at her cautiously, not sure what to think of her change of demeanor. "What is it?"

"Look, I don't want you to take it the wrong way but you should be careful of what you do." Bellamy turned to face her fully, looking at her curiously. "There are going to be people who don't agree with what you do."

"You mean Clarke?" he said bitterly, clenching his fist.

"No." He looked at her in surprised. "Don't think that of all one hundred of us only two people disagree on what you're doing? There is going to be people who don't like what you're doing. Being forced to follow your rules so they can be able to eat. They might try something and it won't be hard to convince the rest to listen to them. It didn't take you long."

"Are you talking about yourself?" he asked, staring at her dangerously.

"For God sake, Bellamy, I'm on your side," Kaya sighed, frustrated that he didn't trust her. She didn't want him to be like that, distrustful and accusing. She needed his trust to ensure her safety. "I want you to stay in charge."

"You are?" he sounded genuinely surprised that she was rooting for him.

"Yes. Why do you look so surprised?" Kaya complained.

"Because of your alliance to Finn and Clarke?"

"Alliance?" Kaya scoffed. "What is this? A war? Finn's my best friend."

"Best friend?" Bellamy snorted. "Sure."

Kaya rolled her eyes. "We already went over this."

"Oh, I know. But_—_" Bellamy stopped, shaking his head. "You know what, never mind. If you're friends, you're just friends. Better for me."

Kaya looked at him suspiciously. "Whatever, but if you want to keep your position as the one charge you better start tightening the loose ends. Anybody can make everything fall apart, screwing you over."

"Are you going to screw me over?"

"That's the last thing I want to do."

Bellamy was silent, making her nervous and start second guessing what she said. She shouldn't have said that, now he would think that Finn and Clarke were going to revolt because she told them.

"Or you can keep doing what you're doing," she said nervously. "It's just_—_"

"Stop that," Bellamy glared.

"Stop what?"

"Stop backtracking. If you say something, don't regret it. You actually don't say stupid things, unlike some people."

"Sorry," she muttered, earning her another annoyed look from him. "I'm not used to spending time with people," she defended herself. "I'm adjusting to all of this. It's hard, I mean you saw me have a panic attack and right now, I'm having a hard time not jumping out of my skin. "

"How long were you arrested?" he asked curiously.

"Long enough for me to lose my mind." A part of her refused to tell him as a way for not answering her question about how he got in the dropship. Another part didn't want him to know anything about her.

Bellamy looked like he wanted to ask more but decided to drop the subject, relieving her. He looked back to where the rest were.

"Alright. If we're changing topic I want to ask you something."

"We're still going to talk?" Kaya blurted out. She had hoped that this was the end of their conversation and she would be left alone.

"You don't want to talk to me?"

_No. I want you to leave me alone._ Instead, Kaya shrugged and looked around, she sat down on the floor, leaning against a fallen log. Kaya pushed her behind her ears, her hair bothering her.

Bellamy went towards her and sat down next to her. He was too close for her liking.

_Stop being ridiculous,_ a voice scolded. _He's been closer to you and you had no problem._

She signed internally. That's felt years ago when it was just hours ago. In the river, she felt alive, with a confidence she's never had. But now, after all, the excitement had died from being down on Earth and dealing with scary experiences, she felt like always.

Tired, helpless, anxious, restless. It was overwhelming how terrible she felt when a few hour ago, she felt ecstatic.

"Don't you have delinquents to emotionally manipulate?" she asked him when he settled down.

"Emotionally mani_—_" He laughed. "What makes you think I'm doing that?"

"Well, the only way the delinquent can get food is if they take if their bracelets thus proving their loyalty to you. If they refuse you, they don't get to it. Emotional manipulation."

Bella shook his head in disbelief. They were silent for a few seconds. Kaya could feel Bellamy's eyes on her, making her wish he was looking at anywhere but her. Peering down, she saw that she still had her arms exposed and even in the darkness, the faint outline of her scars could be seen. She knew that's exactly what Bellamy was looking at and Kaya refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cover them in embarrassment.

"What did you want to ask me about?" Kaya decided to break their uncomfortable silence.

"Earlier you had a funny look," Bellamy commented.

"When did I have a funny look?" Kaya glared at him.

Bellamy raised his hands in surrender. "Look it wasn't going to say anything when I saw them but..."

_Of great,_ she thought. _Here he goes._

_"What are you talking about Bellamy?"_

"When we were at the river. I saw the scars. I didn't want to make a quick judgment."

"Then don't judge."

Bellamy ignored her. "But seeing your reaction towards the blood kinda clicked."

"What clicked?" she gritted.

"Your scars." He pointed to her wrist. "You have a lot."

"You already said that. What about them?" she asked curtly.

"Then when you cut yourself, you didn't seem bothered." Bellamy had this look, remembering what he saw. "You just stared at the blood. Three people, including myself, told you to cover it and you didn't listen. You just let the blood drip."

"Again. And?"

"I'm not judging or anything but why do you hurt yourself? Was it for the reason that you got arrested?" Bellamy asked curiously. "Are things really bad for you to do that?"

"You know nothing," she hissed, enraged that Bellamy was already assuming.

Bellamy seeing her anger, went towards her and grabbed her arms.

"Let me go," she hissed.

"No," he said firmly. "Listen. You're right I don't know anything about you. I don't know why you do that. But I know that you're not stupid. I mean what you told me about making sure nobody gets in my way was great to advise. And I hate to admit this but the people that I have are incredibly stupid."

Kaya stared at him, not sure where he was going with that. "What are you trying to say?"

"When you're not trying to get my sister killed and listening to Finn and Clarke.

"Thank you. So what do you want from me?"

Bellamy smiled slightly. "I would like it if you kept Finn in check. He and Clarke will destroy everything for their loyalty to the Ark. It could get us killed."

She knew what Bellamy was doing. She had spent enough to time to capture some of his tactics. He liked to use people. To get them on his side.

Fine, he wanted to play, she'll play.

_He wants something, probably trying to use to get to Finn or Clarke, but I'm not going to give it to him,_ she thought determined.

"I'll think about it," she told him.

Bellamy frowned. "You'll think about it."

"There's more important thing to focus on now?"

"Like what?"

Pushing aside her anxiety and problems, she straddled him, surprising him. "Wanna continued what we started at the river?" she asked him in a surprisingly steady voice.

Bellamy still wore his shock look but manage to smile. "Wow, not subtle at all."

"Better that than dancing around the idea. I mean that's why you got me here alone or else we would have stayed over there?" She grinned slightly, trying to come off as flirty.

"What happened to wanting personal space?" Bellamy asked, smirking.

"Fine," she sighed, pushing herself of him but was pulled down by Bellamy grabbing her by the hips.

"Have you ever kissed someone?" asked Bellamy curiously.

"No," she answered with a serious look. "Never."

He rolled his eyes. "Besides me?"

She gave him an exasperated look. "Of course, I have. I was old enough to have kissed a few people when I was arrested ."

"Then have you ever had sex?"

This time, she shook her head. She wasn't ashamed of that fact but she wondered how he would feel. "I was still young when I was arrested so no. Never had sex."

"Hm..." Bellamy smirked and his hand started slowly edging toward the inside of her thighs. "Would you like to change that?"

"No," she answered with the same serious tone and grabbed his hand, placing it on her his. "I don't feel like it tonight."

"Are you trying to play hard to get?"

"No. I just don't want to have sex. Have you had sex?"

"I had sex last night." He grinned and leaned in to whisper, "And I bet you, you would be better."

"Thank you but no. Last night I got hit in the face by Monty." She frowned at the memory of how different things were. "You're definitely enjoying Earth more than me, which is_—"_

"I thought you didn't want to talk anymore?"

"I don't see you doing anything to shut me up."

He grabbed her face and crashed their mouths together. Kaya froze but quickly the memories of earlier in the day, she responded back, more confident. She had no idea what she was doing overall, but she decided that it was better to keep Bellamy on his good side. The way he looked at Clarke when she was close to falling to her death, made her hesitate. Kaya needed to know what she was doing or else she was screwed. Bellamy's hands were roaming all over her body, making her squirm inside at the sensation he was leaving.

_Snap!_

She pulled away when she heard the noise. "What was that?" Kaya said, weary it could have been a grounder or worse, a delinquent.

"I don't know. But who cares," he leaned in to kiss her again.

"Are you sure? I _—_Ah..." she trailed off when Bellamy's hand went inside her thigh and started stroking close to her center. She felt her stop for a second at the overwhelming sensation. It was new but pleasurable. "Shit."

"What never felt that before?" teased Bellamy.

She closed her mouth, not wanting to make any embarrassing noise. He moved his mouth down her throat going up until he reached her lips. Kaya wanted to resist, refuse his kisses. She wanted to go and see who it was but knew they probably were gone. Giving in feeling Bellamy's bit her lower lip, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, forgetting about everything. She hadn't had a chance to enjoy herself but, right now, here with Bellamy, she finally enjoyed what she had been deprived for such a long time.

Human contact.

* * *

Finn had gone and looked for Kaya to give her the metal deer that he had made for her. As an apology for how he had been acting. She was right, as always. He had a girlfriend and it wasn't the most appropriate thing to do to spend all his time with Clarke. He felt horrible for ignoring Kaya the entire time they were looking for Jasper but he was angry at what he said about him. He thought she was on his side and maybe she was, but that moment he felt attacked.

_She's your best friend. Your oldest friend. You have to make it right, _his conscious reasoned with Finn.

After telling Clarke that he's going to look for Kaya, he set off to find her. Which proved to be difficult. He went to where Clarke had last seen her and she wasn't there. Going everywhere he asked people if they had seen Kaya but a lot of people didn't know who she was.

"Have you seen Kaya?" he asked Octavia, who was sitting down in a chair, looking extremely annoyed.

"No," she said shortly.

"Do you know where she could be?" Finn asked hesitantly seeing that Octavia wasn't in the best moods.

She sighed. "No. I don't know where she is. Why don't you ask my brother? He seems to like to control people," Octavia muttered bitterly.

"Oh, okay. Thanks, again." He sighed and resigned to take Octavia's advice but realized that he hadn't seen Bellamy either.

But after wandering around, he went back where he had originally gone and that's when he found her. What he saw had made him want to throw up.

There she was, straddling wannabe leader Bellamy Blake and sucking his face. Finn was beyond shocked.

_Back away,_ he ordered himself. _Don't make any sound_.

As he backed away, feeling numb, he didn't see where he was going, stepping on a branch making a loud noise.

"What was that?" he heard Kaya ask Bellamy.

He didn't hear his answer, just turning around and running back to the rest of the camp.

_At least you found her._

Yeah. How fucking comforting. He stopped running and was walking slowly, thinking of what he saw. It didn't make sense, since when had Kaya become buddies with Bellamy. He knew she didn't like to spend time with people. But he had, to be honest, that lately Kaya hadn't been acting like her usual self.

He felt his stomach churn at the thought of her having sex with Bellamy. Finn knew Bellamy's type, the one that likes to have sex with anybody. Finn also knew Kaya and knew that she probably wouldn't care.

He glared at the deer, ready to throw it away when he saw Clarke all alone, where he had left her. The girl Kaya was trying to steer him away from. Just like he wanted Kaya to be away from the manwhore of Bellamy.

He glanced at the deer and consider it to be a waste to throw it away. He had planned on giving it to Kaya but now seeing Clarke, he thought of a better idea.

Silently he sat down next to her and without a word, he handed it to her. Clarke stared at his hand before taking it and examine it. He felt a twinge of happiness when he saw the corners of her lips go up.

_Forget about Kaya, it's over. Just because you use to like her doesn't mean anything. You have a girlfriend and now you have Clarke, kind of, _he told himself._ Kaya can make her own decisions. it's here life and she want to fuck it up, it up to her._

But staring at the fire, he tried to ignore the unresolved emotions that had appeared since sitting down next to his longtime best friend, the one who always made his life difficult.

* * *

**Hope you like this chapter, took a while but it's here. I really love the song that they use at the end of the episode of Earth Skills, Can't Pretend. Absolutely love it. I totally had it in my mind while I wrote the finals scenes.**

**Anyways, thanks for everything (reviews/ follows/favorites)! You guys are the best. Leave reviews they help a lot!**

**Any errors, I will go over and fix.**

**Disclaimer, I don't own the 100, just my OC's**


	6. Beware Of The Crazy

**Hey, remember this story? Yep, well, here it is, took a while, partially because I got sick and didn't want to write while not 100% concentrated, I'm sure you would rather have a well written chapter then a fast one that was absolute shit. Anyways, enough of my excuses.**

**Besides that... Happy reading :)**

* * *

**Chapter Six: Beware Of The Crazy**

* * *

_The screaming was incessant making her want to run and hide. The smell made her want to throw up. The warmth was making her uncomfortable. Everything about this place made Kaya want to curl up and disappear. But sadly she couldn't. She had to stay, it was mandatory. This was hell._

_Why did she have to go to school?_

_Kaya fiddled with her braid, nervous to be around all those children. Her daddy had made her look extra pretty today, being her first day in school. He had braided her hair and even put a flower in it, a violet. Her dress was all clean and smooth. _

_She was so happy that her daddy had paid attention to her that morning, despite her objections of going to school. He always ignored her. He never played with her or even talked to her. She never had someone to talk to, she was always lonely. Sitting in the chair from the kitchen drawing everything around their apartment until she made it perfect, or as much as a small child like her could._

_Kaya had cringed at how harsh her daddy had pulled on her hair and how roughly he had put on her dress. She remembered when he opened the door to outside, making her breath in wonder. She rarely left the apartment, she only got out when she had doctor's appointments._

"_Can I hold your hand?" she asked when he pushed her outside._

_He had glanced at her with a look of disgust that made her step back, ignoring her request and just walked forward with Kaya following his tail. Her eyes marveled at the sight in front of her. She rarely left her home, only when she had doctor's appointments, that only happened when she would fall ill. The halls weren't different from the walls from her home. Both were gray and bleak. But, somehow, it was more enthralling. The halls seemed to never end and she was awed how her daddy knew where he was going. _

_Many turns later they had arrived to a door, where she was standing in front of the door, refusing to go in. Her daddy had left immediately when the teacher reached the door. He didn't even bother to say goodbye._

"_Why don't you go play with the other children sweetie?" the teacher suggested, nudging her towards the happy, carefree children running around the small room._

_Kaya looked at her nervously but nodded. Timidly she walked towards the mass of laughing children. She had never seen so many children together. She actually had never interacted with children, spending all her time inside her apartment. All of the noise was overwhelming her, making her want run out of the room and hide in a corner. _

_Kaya going to the loneliest corner that had an empty table, walked over there. She made sure to grab a paper and pencils. Sitting down, she started drawing, blocking out the noise kids. __For a few minutes she forgot where she was and felt like she was back home, drawing happily in her kitchen table, alone in the silence. Her eyes shined as she continued drawing a tree that she saw by the wall across from her._

"_That's so cool," a voice exclaimed over her shoulder, startling her to drop the pencil._

_She breathed heavily and turned around to see an awestruck boy. He was about her age with a head full of tousled brown hair and was wearing a green shirt that matched the beanie he was clutching (probably the reason his hair was messed up). She didn't remember seeing him but there was so many children, she probably missed him._

"_Thank you," she told him, hoping that would make him go away._

_The boy smiled at her and took a seat besides her. She moved away from him, confuse at the boys interest in her. _

"_How did you learn how to do that? It's really good," he complimented, examining her drawing._

_She shrugged. "I don't know. I just can." She didn't want to tell him that drawing was the only thing she did in her spare time, that's why she had gotten her talent. Years of practice of coping._

_He looked at her in wonder. "Can you draw planets?"_

_She nodded timidly. His eyes widened in excitement. "Can you draw me one?" he begged, practically vibrating in his seat. "Please. I really want a drawing of them so I can hang them in my room."_

_She laughed, finding his excitement infectious. Would it be bad if she drew him something? No and it would make him go away. "What will you give me?" she asked timidly._

_He frowned thinking about it. Then his face lit up again. "What's your favorite animal?"_

_She hesitated, not really sure she had one. "I don't have one," she said finally, defeated._

"_Aw, come on you have to have one. Mines the tiger. They're so cool," the boy stated proudly._

_She thought about the animals that were in her books. She remembered finding it fascinating the bird who could fly anywhere they wanted to._

"_I like birds," she said to him, smiling shyly._

"_Perfect. I'll make you one," he told her._

_"What?" She frowned, confused at his enthusiasm. What does he mean to make one?_

_Seeing her confusion he digged out something from his pocket. Pulling it out he opened his palm, leaning in, curious what it was, she saw that it was metal tiger figure. "How did you do that?" she asked amazed. It was neatly folded into an animal. How could he do that?_

_He laughed. "I don't know, I just can," he mimicked her earlier words._

_She looked at him, smiling. She was really liking this bold kid. She wondered if they would become friends. A part of her hoped so, he was funny and nice. But the other was very confused why he was being nice to her, she hadn't done anything to him._

"_Okay, let's do this; you draw my planets and I'll make you a bird. Okay?" he proposed._

_Kaya stared longingly at the figuring in the boy's palm. It was a pretty figure. And he seemed genuine about making her one. Plus what he was asking for her to draw it wasn't that difficult._

"_Okay," she agreed after a few seconds._

_The boy brightened when she accepted. "That's awesome! I'm going to have a planet drawings in my room." He looked thrilled at the possibility of having a picture to decorate his room._

"_Yeah, I guess it is," she muttered, pulling her face under her hair. She looked up when she heard a scraping noise. The boy was moving from his previous seat to one closer to her. Kaya subtly moved away from him._

"_My names Finn," the boy offered, sticking out his hand._

_She took it and shook it firmly, as her daddy taught her to do when she meet new people. She wasn't thrilled that he decided to stay but wasn't going to be rude about it, another thing her daddy taught her. If she has nothing nice to say, don't say anything. _

"_What's your name?" he asked her when she didn't say hers._

_She hesitated, not wanting to say her name. "I don't like my name," she mumbled. Kaya thought it was weird and sounded funny. No one else had her name, making her feel left out._

"_It's okay. I don't like mine either," Finn admitted. "People call me fish."_

_She laughed but stopped when she realized she was being rude. "I'm sorry," Kaya apologized quietly. _

_Finn shrugged. "Its fine. So what's your name?"_

_She frowned. Seeing that she didn't want to say it, he changed the topic. He looked at her and pointed at the flower in her hair. "What flower is that?"_

"_It's a violet," she stated proudly, touching the tip of a petal._

"_Is it your favorite?" he questioned._

"_It's very pretty," she said, admiring the flower. She didn't know where her daddy got it but didn't care. It was the nicest things he's ever done for her._

"_Just like you," Finn said, smiling, making her look down in embarrassment. They were silent until Finn spoke again, wanting to carry the conversation on. _"_My mom likes flowers."_

_She looked up, curiosity evident. He smiled, pleased with himself. __"Really?"_

_"Yeah," he nodded eagerly. "She has a picture of it hanging in our kitchen. It's this big." He motioned with his hands the size of the frame._

_She smiled softly. "It must be pretty."_

_"It is." He nodded feverently. _"_Do you want to go over my home?" he asked suddenly._

"_What?" She blinked at him in confusion and slight horror. He wanted to spend more time with her? No, she couldn't and didn't want to._

_He nodded eagerly. "You could see the picture. And we could play and you can get your bird. I have all my stuff there."_

"_I don't know if I can." Kaya was positive her daddy would not approve and she was also not really sure about going. She's never gone to someone else home. She just wanted to go home._

"_Come on. Ask your mom, she would let you."_

_She shook her head. "My mom is dead. "_

_Finn looked sad. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "Maybe my mom could be your mom. She always wanted a girl. But instead she got a me." He frowned, his upbeat personality faltering._

_Kaya smiled at him. "You think so?"_

"_Yeah. So you want to come over to where I live to meet my mom?" he asked excitedly._

"_I have to ask my daddy," she said hesitantly. She didn't want to say no to him, his eager face making it impossible._

_"Okay. Ask him when he comes to pick you up." Finn nodded, appeased with her answer. He looked around and brighten. "Yay! The blocks are alone! Let's play with them."_

_She squirmed, comfortable where she was. Noticing her, Finn added, "I'll bring them over here. I'll be back."_

_She smiled in relief. In a seconds debate, she gave him to his previous question. "My name is Kaya," she whispered before he left._

_Finn turned to her, smiling widely. "Ka-ya," he repeated, his voice sounding funny as he pronounced her name. "Kaya. That's pretty name. I like it." One last smile, he ran towards the block, in the process getting scolded by the teacher for running._

_Kaya watched as Finn ran out of his seat to grab blocks for them to play. Glancing back to her drawing, she nodded to herself. School might not be that bad._

* * *

Kaya wasn't sure what was a worse way to wake up. The completed silence that confirmed her solitude or the toe curling screams that was coming from inside the dropship.

"Stop it," she muttered to the empty space in front of her. Her entire body was cramped, having fallen asleep in an uncomfortable position the previous night. She flinched at the noises a dying Jasper was making. Kaya hated loud noises, it agitated her. It was one of the reasons why she had hated school.

The kids were always loud, yelling, laughing, making strange noises. Why couldn't they be quite? They were right next to each other in a small room. Of course they would be able to hear each other. But it seemed Kaya was the only one with that logic. She would sit alone at the far corner, away from everybody, the noise. Finn wouldn't sit with her, him preferring socializing and knowing that she preferred her solitude. He would at times try to convince her to at least let him sit next to her, but she would refuse, not wanting to be the blame of his lack of socializing.

She curled up, covering her ears, desperately trying to drown the disturbing moans of Jasper's. She hummed a song that she often sang to herself whenever she wanted to distract herself from making rash decisions. Kaya felt herself calm down slightly, she could almost not hear the terrifying noises coming from the dropship.

"Doing that makes you look crazy."

Kaya froze at the voice. Slowly looking up, her hands still covering her ears, she relaxed when she saw Wells smiling slightly but looking concerned.

"Are you okay?" he asked, suddenly looking serious.

She gave him a half shrug. "I— I don't like noises. They bother me."

Wells examined her. She remembered that she hasn't moved her hands from her ears and slowly lowered them, stretching her body and placing her hands in her lap.

"And I don't feel well," she added hastily, not wanting to make him think she was crazy. She simply was sensitive to certain things, like noises and people. Especially if both were combined together.

He nodded, taking her word. After a few seconds he spoke. "Can I ask you something? And not be offended?"

"Depends." Kaya looked at him cautiously. She shifted from her position to sit more comfortably.

"It's about you," he added, watching her reaction.

She squinted, trying to see what he was getting at. He shifted uncomfortably under her penetrating gaze. "Alright," she nodded.

"Will you be offended?"

"Just ask the question, before I get up and leave."

He nodded hesitantly. "Well you know, I noticed that you're kinda withdrawn and don't seem to like talking to people. And that your moods are all over the place. And that kinda worries me."

"What's the point of this?" She was annoyed at how Wells was fumbling with his words.

"Do you have problems with..." Wells struggled. She raised her eyebrow expectantly. "Do you have problems?" he finished lamely.

The silence was loud, echoing around the forest. Wells stared at her, waiting for an answer that she didn't have.

"I'm fine."

He frowned. "That's not an answer."

She ignored his last comment. "Did you just come here to ask me that? Because I'm fine. A little sore from sleeping in an uncomfortable position and I think a bug crawled on me during the night..." She trailed of, inspecting herself. She couldn't find a bug, being a huge relief, but she flinch when she touched her thigh. There definitely was a bruise.

Wells frowned, not sure whether to continue pestering her or letting go of the subject. But, making a smart decision, he asked her, "Do you want to go with me and check on Jasper?"

Kaya hesitated. She didn't really feel like going inside the dropship and facing the pained boy. But she knew that it would be rude for her to say no when it was partially their fault that Jasper had gotten attacked. Also she knew that if she stayed here alone, any second someone would come and bother her.

"Okay." She nodded, taking a chance.

"Really?" Wells was surprised that she agreed but looked relieved. "Great. Let's go."

She shifted and was surprised when Wells offered his hand, to help her get up. "Thank you."

"I'm glad you're going," he admitted. "I don't think it would have been pleasant if I went in alone to the dropship. I'm not welcome there."

"Oh." She looked at the floor. "You're welcome I guess."

"Where were you last night? I was looking for you."

"You were?"

He nodded sheepishly. "I don't know if you've noticed but not a lot of people like me. And you seem to be the one of the only that tolerate me."

"I like you," she said quickly.

He grinned at her. "Yeah, I hoped that. That's why I was looking for you. To be around someone that didn't hate me."

She pursed her lips, a sense of sorrow towards him she felt. It wasn't his fault that his father was the Chancellor. "I'm sorry you couldn't find me."

"Where were you?" he asked again.

Kaya hoped her face didn't become red. She definitely wasn't going to tell him that she was with Bellamy. "Alone. Right where you found me."

As they entered the habitat everybody resided, Kaya noticed that a lot of the delinquents were up. Most importantly they were all busy, moving around.

"Why did you sleep there last night?"

"To be away from everybody. That's a good idea." She pointed to a random tent. It wasn't the only tent. It seemed all of the delinquent were building shelter for themselves. Which was actually a good idea, she thought.

Wells nodded in agreement. "You should make a tent."

"Yeah I should."

"I can help you," he offered.

She looked at him, seeing his earnest expression, and nodded. "That would be great."

Wells grinned. "Okay, were here." He stayed in place, not moving. Her eyes trailed to his hands, that were fidgeting, on the sleeves of his jacket.

"You're not afraid of Clarke, aren't you?" Kaya teased.

Wells gave her a halfhearted smile. "Yeah I kinda am."

Kaya smiled sympathetically at him. Taking the lead, she entered the dropship.

* * *

"That's how it's done," Bellamy told Murphy, impressed with himself.

For the past hour he had been trying to teach Murphy how to throw an axe, which Murphy had been failing miserably. He claimed that it was Jasper fault that he kept failing but Bellamy had his other suspicious. Murphy just sucked at throwing. Murphy shot him an irritated look, disgruntled how effortlessly Bellamy was handling the axe. Before they could give it another try, Atom walked up to them, along with a few others approached them.

"We searched a half-mile all directions. No sign of Trina or Pascal," Atom reported.

"Visit your special tree when you were out there?" Murphy asked with a smirk, going to retrieve his knife.

"Atom took his punishment. Let it go," ordered Bellamy.

"Could be Grounders," Atom suggested.

Murphy disagreed. "Yeah, or they could be in pound town. Lot of that going around recently. Like you Bellamy." He raised his hands, making everybody turned to their leader.

Bellamy narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me?"

"Where were you last night?" questioned Murphy, looking amused. "You disappeared last night. One second you were talking to Kaya and the next you were gone. And coincidentally so was Kaya."

"Wait who?" asked Miller, one of the delinquent.

"Are you talking about Kaya Campbell?" Atom asked

"Yep. That one," Miller nodded.

"So did you pound her?" Murphy smirked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Everybody looked to Bellamy with interest, curious what he had done with her. Bellamy looked at them in annoyance. He didn't want to tell them the truth because it was his business. Also because they would make snide comments why he didn't have sex with her. He had been fine with what happened last night, but wouldn't have minded if more went on.

"Why do you care?" asked Bellamy, carefully keeping his face passive.

"I'm just asking because better be careful. You know what they say about the crazy one," Murphy whispered conspiratorially. "Beware of the crazy."

_Crazy._

That wasn't the first time he had heard that when referencing her. If was kind of obvious Kaya wasn't fully... sane. She had her odd moments, that would make her stand out. But last night, she had proven that she was tactful, thought about possibilities that he never thought about.

"No I don't know. Care to explain?" Bellamy snapped.

"Defending her are we?" Murphy taunted. "I didn't think of you as a one to go back because I was thinking of taking my turn."

Bellamy didn't have a chance to react when Jasper emitted another pained moaned.

Atom sighed. He went towards Bellamy, changing the subject. "Look, Bellamy, people are scared, and that dying kid, he's not helping the morale around here."

Bellamy nodded. "Morale will go up when I find them more food." Or so that's he hoped. He needed to keep the delinquents calm, on his side.

"And what do we say when they ask about Trina and Pascal?" Miller asked.

Bellamy shook his head. "Now? Nothing. It's possible they're just lost. We'll keep an eye out for them when we go hunting later."

Murphy grinned. "Let's go kill something."

"You're not going." Bellamy stopped Murphy from following them. "I need you to stay here. If the Grounders are circling, we can't leave this place unprotected."

Murphy clenched his jaw, not happy about staying. "Fine. Somebody better tell goggled boy to keep it shut."

Bellamy walked away from him, the rest of the group following him. They passed the flurry of delinquents, heading to where Bellamy had gone with the others the previous day to retrieve Jasper. Everything seemed peaceful, excluding Jasper annoying moans. But he knew it wouldn't last long. He remembered Kaya's words. He needed to ensure his power. Bellamy would do anything to keep it.

* * *

Kaya had only been there for five minutes and she was already to lose her mind. The dropship was suffocating and dark, a stench that made her eyes water. It didn't help with Jasper painful moans. She was scratching her right arm, feeling anxious. Her eyes kept darting everywhere, looking for an escape. The only one was the opening of the dropship but to get there she had to pass everybody. Clarke was trying a painful method to get rid of the dead skin. She stood back as Wells and Finn held Jasper.

"Kaya," she looked up to see Finn looking at her. "You should leave."

Kaya looked at him carefully but felt in immense relief. She didn't care whether he wanted her to be gone because he knew how she was or because he couldn't stand the sight, Kaya would never find out. Nodding, without a word, she pushed past him, going immediately to the exit.

She stopped when she saw Octavia rushing into the dropship with Bellamy following her. Catching Bellamy eye, she continued walking out of the dropship, clenching her fists as Jasper gave a louder moan. _Get out. _She pretended to not hear Jasper, Finally, stepping out of the dropship she took deep breaths of actual air. Getting her heartbeat regular, she looked around helplessly. Now that she was out of the dropship, there was nothing for her to do. Not having anyone else to talk to. She focused on two girls struggling to raise a tarp over a branch. Kaya realized that the smart thing to do in the moment was build a shelter for herself._ I should build a tent._

She glanced back to the dropship, where Wells was. He had promised to help her, but she saw no harm starting. Kaya started walking back to her spot that she fell asleep. It was empty, pleasing her immensely. She kicked around a branch, listening to the commotion of the delinquents.

Some shouts were out of joy but some were out of anger, yelling at someone who messed up their newly placed tent. But she didn't where to start or with what. Finding loose branches, Kaya started picking them. A small pile started forming, but it wasn't enough. The branches were too small, not long enough to stay up. Glaring at the pile, she kicked her wasted time.

"What are you doing?"

Turning around, she exhaled in frustration at the sight of Bellamy. "What do you want?"

"Hello to you too."

She nodded, not bothering to apologize. Kaya decided that she needed to get bigger branches, something sturdy, not those pathetic twigs that would collapse on her.

"What are you going to do?" he asked, casually striking up a conversation.

She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe try to miserably fail to build a tent." And from the looks of her progress, it would most definitely would be.

Bellamy looked slightly amused. "That's a busy schedule you got there and here I was hoping you could do me a favor."

She blinked, confused at hearing the word favor. Kaya looked at him suspiciously. "What kind of favor?'

"Me and the others are going hunting to get food." Kaya could hear the smugness coming from him, proud that he was going to be the one supplying food.

"Congratulations?" she offered, not sure what he wanted.

"Save that for later," Bellamy said. Kaya looked at him unimpressed. "Look despite what you think, I didn't come here to gloat. I actually need you to do something for me."

"Which is?"

"Can you look after Octavia while I'm gone?" Bellamy asked, looking completely serious.

"Didn't Octavia already have a babysitter?" Kaya vaguely remembered Bellamy assigning this guy to make sure nothing happened to her.

At the mention of that, Bellamy face darken, making her realize she stepped on a sore topic.

"I prefer you. I think you can keep your hands to yourself," he said but a disgusted look appeared. "Unless you got both ways."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kaya was beyond confused. She had noticed that a lot things people said she didn't understand what they were saying. She realized being locked inside a cell deprived her mind to expand in certain things.

Bellamy looked amused at her confusion. "Can you do that?"

Kaya looked at him, trying to figure him out. "Why are you asking me?"

"Octavia won't find it suspicious you hanging around with her."

Kaya wanted to say that he would, showing previously that Kaya couldn't handle being inside he dropship with a moaning Jasper. But also saw his point of view. "I guess I see your point."

"Just do it, okay?" Bellamy told her. "I'm gonna be gone for a while and I would really appreciate having not to worry about her."

Kaya nodded. "Alright. I will make sure she's fine."

He sighed, relieved that she agreed quickly. "Thank you."

"Bellamy." Murphy walked up to them but stopped when he saw Kaya. A knowing smirk appeared in his face.

"What is it Murphy?"

"Are you going to the hunt? The others are waiting for you," he reminded Bellamy.

"Yeah I'll be there," Bellamy answered distractedly, his eyes never leaving Kaya. Murphy eyed the two of them, making Kaya suspicious. What was Murphy up too?

"Make it a _quickie_ then," Murphy told him, walking away quickly.

Kaya internally rolled her eyes, finally getting his sneaky looks. She wondered what Bellamy told him. Did he bragged about what happened between them, which was nothing, to his people? Kaya didn't really care, he meant nothing to her but if he continued _doing_ that, their _interactions_ would come to an end.

"Are you going to check on Octavia?" Bellamy asked her, once Murphy left.

"I think she can handle herself Bellamy," Kaya sighed. "She's not five."

Bellamy looked annoyed. "I need to make sure Octavia is going to be okay. Can't you do that for me?"

"Why? Because you trust me?" She placed her hand on her chest mockingly, referring herself. "What an honor."

"I trust you won't go behind my back," he countered.

"I wouldn't dare," Kaya said flatly. And she wouldn't, Kaya currently was in his good side, why would she ruin her chances by doing something stupid? That was Finn, the stupid one, she was the smart one.

He narrowed his eyes. "It would be a shame if you tried something, considering how wells things are between us."

She narrowed her eyes. Was he threatening her? "I believe you have somewhere to be," she reminded him. Bellamy looked over his shoulder, nodding.

"Go find Octavia," he ordered.

Kaya gave him an annoyed look. He smirked, turning around. Watching his back, she muttered, "Good luck."

Bellamy froze for a second before walking away, not acknowledging her. Waiting a few minutes, Kaya started walking, begrudgingly following Bellamy's request (or order but she refused to admit). Hopefully Jasper was calm or else Kaya would be in her personal hell.

* * *

"Give me a hand."

With an exaggerated sigh, Thomas heaved himself up from the stool with more exaggerated motions, making Raven roll her eyes.

"How are you a guard?" she snorted.

"Charm and dashing looks." Thomas grinned cheekily. "They get you places. Sadly you don't have that privilege, which is probably why you're here."

"Ass." Raven threw him a notebook that he dodged without a problem.

"See how I dodge that? Like a pro. I'm not just looks Raven, I'm more than that."

Raven rolled her eyes again. "I wasn't joking. How _did _you become a guard?"

His smile fell, making her raise her eyebrows. He went towards what Raven wanted him to help her. "Rank. Connections. People. Like this?" He pointed to a random part that he had placed back into its place that was too high for Ravens reach.

Raven ignored his question, and glared at him. "That literally is the worst explanation I've heard."

"You never asked to specify." He shrugged.

She scoffed. "When have you ever held back Thomas? You're a fucking chatterbox. One time I asked what time it was and instead you went on about how time was made and other crap that only you know."

"Hmm... That doesn't sound like me," Thomas denied.

"Come on Thomas, don't be an ass."

Thomas looked at her offended. "I am not an ass. I am a genuinely nice guy. Ask all the my ex-girlfriends. They've all broken up with me cause I'm too nice."

Raven frowned. _He's had girlfriends? _she internally wondered. _Who would have thought? _"That's not something to be proud," she said out loud instead.

"I would beg to differ," shrugged Thomas. "But in the end, not an ass."

"Then why aren't you telling me everything?" That questioned had been burning the back of Ravens head since she met him. Thomas never acted like the other guards. He was too nice. Too jovial. Too full of life. What had made him want to take a job that made people hate him? "Thomas, why won't you tell me?"

"Cause you're going to make fun of me," he mumbled.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you will," he insisted. "You'll judge me. Say mean things."

Raven laughed. "Oh my God you're being so childish."

Thomas gave her a look. She raised her hand in surrender. "I won't. Just tell me. I'm genuinely curious."

"Fine," he sighed in annoyance. "Want me to tell you? My dad was in the guard and I use to see him everyday come home with his uniform, I thought it was great. So cool to have a job where something new would happen. So when I got older, my dad pulled some strings and I got in. Didn't have to go through the process of being a cadet. Went straight into guard." Thomas refused to meet her eyes, expecting to see disgust at his privileges.

Raven, instead, looked at him in disbelief. "You got your job because of your dad?" she scoffed, amused.

He shot her a dirty look. "You're making fun of me."

"No I'm not. I'm just clarifying."

"You think I'm spoiled," he accused.

"No I don't. I think you're completely annoying but not spoiled." She grinned at him.

He was pleased at her compliment, that's what he considered it, but didn't show it. Instead he rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Can I sit down?"

Raven peered at what he did and nodded in approval. "Yeah. You're dismissed for now."

"Finally." He went back to his stool. He flinched when he sat down, the metal gotten cool from his absence.

Raven turned to face him. "Okay, I have another question -"

He sagged. "What now?"

"If your dad managed to make you a guard immediately, why were you put with the delinquents? You could have a better, higher position, why were you there instead?"

Thomas was silent for a long time that made Raven repeat the question, thinking he didn't get the question.

"I heard you," he interrupted her. "I'm just trying to find the way to not sound weird."

Raven snorted. "Everything you say is weird, so hit me."

"Thanks Raven, I can always count on you." She waited for him impatiently. "But I was in the process of being in placed when there was a report that they had caught a teenager stealing and they were going to pick them up. I was with those guards and took with me to have a chance to learn. And when I got there, I saw that we were arresting a girl who looked about fourteen."

"Kaya," Raven realized.

He nodded. "I felt so bad for her. She was so angry at her dad, saying it was him. I had to hold her from attacking him."

"It was him," Raven interrupted him. "I know it was him. Kaya was shy, she never did those things. Her dad was in dirty business. My mom knew him and bought stuff from him. Something probably went wrong and in a scared fit, found it easy to put a blame in Kaya."

Thomas looked at her. "And if you knew why didn't you say something?"

"I was fifteen," Raven said defensively. "I was scared. I didn't want to get in trouble too, besides, I was too busy convincing Finn not to do the same thing."

"Why would you do that?"

"Finn was so angry. I had to stop him from assaulting Kaya's dad. It wouldn't help if both got arrested."

"Not that it helped, he got arrested two years later," Thomas reminded her.

Raven glared at him. "You don't know why."

"He wasted three months of oxygen." Thomas looked at her in disbelief. He knew that he was her boyfriend but even Raven could see how reckless Finn was.

Irritated Raven made them go back to the original subject. "So you stayed because of Kaya?"

Thomas shook his head. "Not just her but for the others. I saw they were all lonely and angry and at times they just needed someone who asked how they were feeling. To know that people did worry about them and didn't consider them a waste of space. I meet a lot of great people during my time as a guard."

"So Kaya is one of the bunch?" Raven looked at him accusingly.

"No. She's special," he grinned at her. Raven didn't look amused. "And I don't mean crazy. Something of her seemed familiar. I don't know. Maybe reminded me of a friend or something. Plus she didn't warm up to me like the others. She's actually one of the only delinquents that enjoyed being alone. I liked that she was a challenge."

Raven looked at him unimpressed. "How nice."

Thomas nodded. "But in the end she kind of warm up to me." He was glad that Kaya had hugged him when they were parting. He felt a pain in his chest when he watched her be escorted by the other guard to the dropship. That was the last time he would see her.

"I get you. It took a long time for her to warm up to me. She was so shy. She was like a scared little puppy." Raven smiled fondly, remembering Kaya looking slightly terrified when they first meet. "She refused to talk. Apparently she got mad at Finn for bringing me the first time. I knew she was mad but I always assumed because she was jealous he brought me. But then it turned out she was mad because he simply brought someone else for her to interact."

"God Kaya is such a weirdo." Thomas laughed.

"Yeah..." Raven flinched when she felt a wire poke her, reminding her of what was at stake. "Enough of this crap. I need to get back to work, and I need you to get over here again."

He groaned, rubbing his face. Thomas had to get back to his job, where he actually got paid and wasn't being bossed around by someone who was mean to him.

* * *

"What's that noise?" Kaya asked, when their semi-peaceful silence was disrupted. For the past hour, things have been relatively quiet, at times being disrupted by Jasper's moan of despair.

When she came to the dropship earlier, neither Monty nor Octavia rouse suspicion when she offered to help them. Only Monty asked if she felt better, Finn having told them she was slightly nauseous. With a reassurance that she was completely fine, his attention went back to his best friend.

It took her one minute to notice that three people were missing. Finn, Clarke and Wells. When she asked Octavia, she told her they had parted to look for seaweed for Jasper. Kaya was slightly disgruntled. They were leaving the group? What if something happened to Jasper while they were gone? They wouldn't be able to do anything without Clarke. Or what if something happened to them? What if Wells got killed? or Finn? She closed her eyes, erasing that horrible possibility.

A noise made her look up. It seemed to be coming from outside and it was growing closer. The three of them looked at each other questionably. Going over to the opening, Kaya flinched when delinquents pushed to go to inside, filing the dropship, all walking in coughing.

"What's going on?" Monty demanded, looking bewildered at the sudden presence of many people.

"Air got thick, everybody's skin started burning," someone explained.

"My brother's out there," Octavia told them, her expression full of worry. Kaya looked up, her throat tightening. Not only was Bellamy out with his group but so was Finn with Clarke and Wells.

"He'll be fine. We'll all be fine," Monty assured Octavia.

Kaya eyes shifted to the new active environment surrounding them. Kaya, who was sitting near Jasper arm, felt him shift uneasily. "I think should move Jasper up," suggested Kaya quietly.

Monty looked at her hesitantly. "I don't think it's a good idea to move Jasper. He's not stable moving him can, make it worse."

Kaya looked around, the amount of people all jammed into the pod was making her anxious.

"So you think it's a good idea to leave him with all of them here?" Kaya motioned their loud and uncomfortable surrounding. "Look at him. He's getting all squirmy. It's not good for him."

"Yeah I agree with Kaya," Octavia nodded. "I don't think it's a good idea to have Jasper with them. What if one of them hurt him by accident? They don't care about him."

"Monty," Kaya said gently. "We have to move him. Think about his well being. Your best friend is hurt and he could die here with all of them, just because you don't want to move him."

After having what looked like an internal debate, Monty reluctantly nodded in agreement. "Okay let's do this. But careful."

The three of them stood up and after a few unsure movements, they each grabbed a part of Jasper to pull him up. The moment they pushed him, he let out a loud, painful groan, making all the delinquent go into silence, looking at them accusingly. Kaya shifted uncomfortably at the unwanted attention. She wanted them to look away or at least for one of the ninety people inside the dropship to help them. As if reading her mind, two boys told Octavia and Kaya they would take their place to help them take Jasper up. Octavia looked like she was going to snap at them but Kaya stopped her.

"We need to prepare where we going to place Jasper," she told her softly. Nodding curtly, Octavia followed her to the stairs. Climbing up, they set up where they were going to place Jasper. A groan alerted them that Jasper was now up. Kaya watched as the boys not very carefully placed Jasper where Octavia was.

Monty climbed up, his eyes narrowing when he saw the two boys. "What are you doing here? Get out!" he yelled.

The two delinquents looked at him in disbelief. "Were helping out dude. Calm down," one of them told him, looking annoyed.

"Out!" Monty emphasized, pointing to the hatch. They two of them went towards down the stairs, grumbling.

"Thank you," Octavia called out.

"Monty. What the hell?" Kaya demanded, walking up to him.

"I'm fine," he snapped harshly.

"Okay, then calm down. You didn't have to be like that to them. They were helping out." Kaya backed away from him.

"I'm sorry if I'm all moody. But my best friend is in the brink to death. I don't think you understand." Monty glared at her, his voiced filled with anger.

Kaya frowned, insulted that he thought he was the only going through a difficult time. "Finn is my best friend as much as Jasper to Monty. I think I will understand."

Monty looked at her. "If Finns your best friend, then why are you guys are fighting?"

She was taken back. She hadn't realized that the other had noticed. "Why does it matter?"

"Why are you fighting?" he insisted. Kaya saw Octavia looking between Monty and her, intrigued at their conversation.

Kaya sighed frustrated. "Finn's poor choices, my poor choices. Doesn't matter. Even if we're fighting, he's my best friend. I care about him. And I don't where he is or what's going on with him. And I can't live with knowing that the last time we saw each other I was mad at him because he was being stupid. I can't. I don't know what to do." As she spoke her, voice got shaky and higher, the anxiety getting to her.

"Kaya, Finn's fine. Everybody is okay." Octavia reached over, taking her hand in reassurance. Kaya looked at her uncertainly, pulling her hand away.

"I'm sorry Kaya, I wasn't thinking," Monty apologized, looking ashamed. She shrugged, her eyes drifting to Jasper.

"How long have you known each other?" Octavia asked tentatively, after a tense silence.

Kaya pursed her lips, trying to remember. "Since we were... five. But we didn't officially become friends until we were seven. Despite them us being friends now, we didn't immediately become when we first meet. And it wasn't because of Finn's lack of interest. It was from my side."

"Why?" Octavia looked confused.

"I kinda avoided him," she admitted, flashes of her hiding in a corner during the games, to not have to be around other children.

"I would have been happy to have a friend," Octavia said wistfully, making both Monty and Kaya feel bad for the girl.

"I was very shy," Kaya explained. "He wasn't. His personality scared me. But after a while I got less scared and stopped avoiding him. And then we became friends."

"You've been friends for a long time," Monty said. "Almost as long as me and Jasper."

"I guess. Our friendship did hit a slight hiatus when I turned fourteen." Octavia and Monty shot her a questioning look, making Kaya elaborate, "I got arrested, then two years later he got arrested."

"You two are fighting right?" Octavia asked. "I saw Finn get mad at you."

Kaya winced at the reminder. "Yeah. We're not in the same page right now."

"I wouldn't be able to fight with Jasper," Monty spoke up. "He's like my brother." He stared at Jasper wistfully. "But at this moment, I wouldn't care if we were fighting."

She felt a bad at the desperation of Monty. "Well it's complicated. Finn is acting like a douche and he is getting mad at me for trying to make it better and then expects me to be okay with it."

Monty nodded in understanding. "You guys will be fine. Best friends stick to each other."

Kaya gave him a faint smile, hoping that he was right. It was stupid why they were fighting but she refused to be the one to make the first step. She wasn't the one wrong.

* * *

Unbraiding her hair, Kaya decided to let it down. She stretched, her body stiff from sitting in one position for a long time. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Octavia do the same thing. All three of them had been sitting down for more than hour. Monty had barely gotten up, to get water.

From downstairs, she had been hearing the complaints of the delinquents for the past hour. All complaining how Jasper was driving them crazy and that someone needed to shut him up. Kaya closed her eyes, silently agreeing with the delinquents. Jasper needed to be silenced. But didn't look like it was going to happen any time soon, as Jasper continued to moan in pain.

"Murphy's going to kill Jasper!" Monty shouted, alerting the girls.

Monty tried to close the hatch as Murphy tried to enter. Both Octavia and Kaya run over to help. Octavia begins kicking at Murphy, who is forced back down, allowing them to close the hatch. Still not deterred, Murphy continues to try and force his way in while Monty holds the hatch down.

"The lock's on the other side," Monty groaned.

"Don't let him in!" Octavia shouted, scampering around looks for something to lock the door. Kaya sighed in annoyance, of course they weren't going to let him.

"I'm gonna kill him, okay? Let me in! Let me in, Monty!" shouted Murphy, his voice full of rage.

Monty and Kaya sit down on the hatch, trying to hold of Murphy from opening it. Kaya could hear Octavia struggling from behind them.

"No rush. We're fine here," Monty gritted. Murphy pushed open the hatch. Reacting immediately, Kaya kicked him right in the face, closing it again.

"I got it!" Octavia shouted, running toward them. "Move it!" Kaya moved to allow Octavia jam the pipe across the hatch. Sticking, Monty and Kaya moved, seeing that Murphy won't be able to get inside.

"Both of you better open up this hatch right now!" Murphy muffled shout was heard. "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"

Kaya gritted her teeth, wanting to yell at him to fuck off. The three glanced at each other, not sure what to do next.

* * *

_Maybe this was a bad idea, _thought Finn as he watched Clarke and Wells argue about Wells 'betrayal', whatever that was about. Something about the whole thing seemed wrong and oddly familiar. Wells seemed like a loyal friend, why would he betray Clarke, his best friend that is painfully obvious, he's in love with?

_Is this how Kaya and I will be? _thought a terrified Finn. _I'm definitely apologizing when I come back. I don't want to be like them._

Clarke couldn't stand seeing Wells while he was desperate to get her to talk to him. The whole thing was a mess. And Finn was unfortunate to be in the middle of it.

Kaya and him were opposites. Always had been, so it wasn't uncommon for them to clash from time to time. They were always minor things. Kaya angry at him for pushing her to spend more time with the other students. Finn angry that Kaya would let her good for nothing father yell at her. Kaya angry for making her spend time with Raven without her knowledge.

And now they were fighting over something bigger. Kaya had blatantly had blamed Finn for murder, that it was his fault those two teenagers had died and that Jasper was dying. He was angry, pissed at that. He was angry that she was against him. And enraged that she was with Bellamy last night. It was childish of him to be angry for that, but he didn't care. He had the right to get angry.

He wanted to make everything better. He just didn't know how.

"I want an explanation," Clarke yelled at Wells. Her drunken brain was the cause of her outburst and it wasn't holding back.

_I messed up but it's not my fault. I just don't know what to do. _

Wells frowned. "I can't give you one. I thought I could trust him."

_This isn't an excuse Kaya, it's the truth. Everything is crashing to us and I don't know what to do._

"Well, I thought I could trust my best friend. Guess we were both wrong."

_I can trust Kaya. I hope she still can trust me._

"I'm still your friend," argued Wells.

_Is Kaya still my friend? Does she still care about me? Is she worried about me?_

"No, you're not. If you were my friend, you would walk out into that fog and never come back."

_I should have not taken that bottle out._

Deciding it was time to step in, Finn tried to calm things down before it got even more out of hand. "Okay, how about we just… take it easy." He leaned over and took the bottle away from Clarke.

"I have no idea how to do that," Clarke muttered.

Wells reaching over, took the bottle from Finn, taking a whiff before taking a drink from it. Finn looked between the two angry teenagers.

"So, we having fun yet?" Silence fell with the three, one fuming, other drinking his problems away and another wishing to be anywhere than with the other two. Clarke shifted her attention to Finn.

"You don't get this," Clarke muttered bitterly to Finn. "You don't understand what it feels like to be betrayed."

"I do," Finn disagreed quietly. "I have a best friend too. And everything we do for them, is because we care about them."

Clarke gave him an unreadable expression before snatching the bottle from Wells and taking a large swing.

"Yeah right," scoffed Wells. "I doubt you get it."

Finn shot him a withering look. "You and me have a lot more in common than you think."

Wells looked taken back, unsure if he got Finn's subtle hint. Finn sighed staring at the ceiling, mentally counting when they would be able to get out.

* * *

"Clear."

The relieved sighs from everybody inside the dropship went through, Kaya being one of them. She was going crazy. For the past hour, she had been scratching her cut, opening the wound. Lucky for her, Monty and Octavia were preoccupied on keeping Jasper silent, they didn't notice the small puddle of blood she had created. The loud noise the delinquents we're making as they escaped from the dropship.

"I wonder if Clarke and the rest have come?" asked Monty, looking anxious.

"I'll check," Kaya volunteer automatically.

"Would you?" Octavia asked, looking grateful. "They have to come back, just because they're out doesn't mean Murphy still won't want to kill Jasper."

"I'll be back," she promised.

Getting up, she went down the stairs and climbed fast, more than eager to get out of the dropship. It came a satisfaction when Kaya saw Murphy had a red check from where she hit him. Turning around, she scanned the crowded area, trying to locate either Clarke or Finn.

It was difficult to spot them from a crowd of more than eighty teenagers. Pushing around the delinquents, there was no Clarke or Finn. The voices around her were loud and obnoxious, pushing themselves against her as she walked. She could feel herself getting frustrated as the seconds passed. Going to an isolated area, she leaned against a tree, taking deep breaths.

_Three. Two. One._

Kaya pushed herself she frowned, when she realized that if she wanted to find them, she was going to have to ask around. But she never got a chance. In a second, she felt her balance be thrown off, her face hitting hard ground, feeling small rocks pierced her face.

"Ah," she whimpered, shakily trying to raise herself but be kicked down again in the face.

"You fucking bitch."

Spitting blood, she wiped her face, quickly getting up. Kaya scampered up, not wasting her time. Her heart hammered fast in her chest. It was taking all her strength and energy to not back away from Murphy. She hated this. Confrontation. Defending herself to other people. Less and less was she started liking Earth. She missed the euphoric feeling she felt the first day, where she still had Finn and felt whole. Huffing in anger, giving up, she turned around, going towards the dropship.

"Not so fast. You're going to pay for what you did to me." Murphy pulled her arm back harshly, making her lose her balance again but not falling down.

"Let me go." Twisting her body, she punched his nose, making him let go of her. Murphy growled in anger.

"What's going on?"

Murphy and Kaya turned to see Finn stalking over to them, looking murderous.

"Back so soon spacewalker?" Murphy sneered.

Finn walked closer to Murphy. "I asked what is going on?"

"None of your business."

"Trust me, it's my business," snapped Finn, pushing Murphy back aggressively.

Looking at the two of them in disbelief, Kaya walked away from the two of them. She just wanted to stay away from them.

"Kaya wait." She heard Finn run after, going besides her. She glanced at him and saw him look perfectly fine, not hurt.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking concerned.

"I almost got beaten up for no reason what do you think?" She started walking again.

"Wait." He grabbed her arm. Kaya looked at him blankly. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I did overreact yesterday and acted like an asshole. I know you didn't mean anything wrong, you never do. That's the great thing about you Kaya. I'm so sorry. I don't want you to be angry at me." He looked at her pleadingly.

Kaya was taken back but she felt a weight being lifted from her. He had apologized, and that was all that mattered. They were going to be fine. She surprised him by giving him a tight hug that he returned seconds later. "I'm glad you're okay," she whispered, pulling away.

Finn smiled slightly. "Yeah me too."

"Where's Clarke and Wells?" She barely realized he was alone.

He nodded ahead. "Over there, at the camp. Let's go."

Kaya could chatter from inside the gates. Walking towards them, Kaya saw Bellamy walking with Clarke and Wells. She was glad that they were fine, but from the somber expression of Bellamy, something told her the opposite. The gates opening, they entered the camp, being greeted by the anxious delinquents.

Clarke looked around. "We've gotta get to Jasper. I'll need boiled water to make the medicine."

Clarke leaves with Finn at her heals. It's when Kaya noticed Bellamy hauling something that looked like a gurney. Kaya glanced at the bag to realize it was a body. Who died? Her stomach churned when she saw blood dripping from the side. Unconsciously, she squeezed her bandaged hand.

"Get Clarke whatever she needs," Bellamy ordered.

"I better go get this grave dug," Wells muttered.

"I'll go with you," she volunteered immediately, despite Wells not asking for fault. Wells looked at her and nodded. From the corner of her eye, Kaya saw Bellamy watching her carefully. Wells left to dig Atom's grave.

"You don't have to help me," Wells said.

"I know but I want to."

Wells stopped. "I wanted to be alone from them."

Kaya felt herself become flush in embarrassment. "You want me to go?"

Wells hurried to explain himself. "No, I don't mind you. I just meant them." His eyes went back to camp.

"Clarke?" she guessed.

He stiffen at the mention of her. "Yeah."

Nodding, she tried changing the topic. "Who died?"

"Atom."

She wasn't sure who Atom was but from Bellamy's torn expression and harsh tone, he knew him, probably one of his minions.

"How?" Kaya asked hesitantly, unsure if she was pushing Bellamy far. He didn't show any sign of anger.

"The fog was poison and he got caught in it."

Kaya faltered hearing that. "The fog _killed_ him? You mean the fog that caused everybody go inside?"

He shook his head. "The fog didn't kill him. Clarke did."

"Why?" she demanded.

He narrowed his eyes at her harsh tone. "It was a mercy killed. Atom was in too much pain, he... he couldn't be saved. It was the right thing to do. Clarke did the right thing. That's what Atom wanted."

Kaya nodded. Clarke ended Atom suffering. She helped him. Clarke also went far to get medicine for a dying Jasper. Clarke wanted the best for the people. She wasn't involved with Finn. Clarke wasn't a bad person, Kaya begrudgingly admitted. Clarke had told her that nothing was going on.

_It's all Finn,_ she thought darkly.

They stopped in a clear space. She saw that there was already two graves from the two other dead boys. Silently they went to work. Between the two of them, they finished quickly. During the entire time they didn't exchange words. Their silence was interrupted by crunching noises. Kaya looked up to see Bellamy.

"Is it ready?" he asked.

Wells nodded. "Yeah all we need is the body."

Bellamy nodded to the guys behind him, who carried the body forward. Kaya felt her stomach churn at the sight of it. She had already did enough of her share.

"I'm gonna go," Kaya said, stepping back.

"I'll go with you." Bellamy followed her.

"Thank you," Wells told her, looking at her sincerely. He looked drained, physically and mentally. She wondered why Clarke seemed to despise Wells, he was probably the only moral person from the delinquents.

"You're welcome." She gave him a small smile, that he barely returned. Turning around she started walking away, with Bellamy to her side.

"Are you okay?" he asked suddenly.

"What?" Kaya looked at him in confusion. Kaya felt fine, she hoped she looked fine.

"During the fog, were you...?"

"I was safely inside when it appeared," she guessed at where he was going. "With Octavia, in case you were wondering." Bellamy nodded, looking satisfied with her response.

"Did she... did she went all crazy on Murphy?" he asked hesitantly.

Kaya nodded. "But in my defense so did I. And Murphy too, so he shouldn't act like a victim. But I don't blame either." Bellamy looked at her curiously, making her elaborate. "Being looked up inside a small space, makes us crazy, I would know. Probably reminds us when we were locked up again. Jasper wasn't helping either."

Bellamy was quiet. "You're not crazy," he said seconds later.

"But I'm not fully sane."

"Yeah but apparently neither is my sister," Bellamy muttered, glancing at her. "Wait... what happen to your face?" He turn her towards him, pushing her hair out of her face.

"What are you talking about?" She pushed his hands away from her.

"You have a cut in your forehead and your lip is bloody." he demanded. "Who hit you?"

She flinched when she felt Bellamy's thumb grace the cut that was above her right eyebrow. "I_—_it doesn't matter."

"Who did it?" he repeated more forcefully.

"Why do you care Bellamy?" she snapped.

"Because I want to know." She looked at him in disbelief. "Kaya, you're one of my people."

She gave him a sardonic smile. "I'm not your anything and I don't have to tell you shit."

"Kaya," he called out at her back. She already started walking back to the camp. He reached her side, giving her an annoyed look. It wasn't until Bellamy stopped walking, Kaya realized they had gotten in front of the gate of the camp.

"You're not going to tell me?" he asked.

"No."

He sighed, nodding. "Okay. I'm still going to find out."

She rolled her eyes. "Have fun." It was going to be interesting when he found out it was his right hand man that wanted to kill her. She didn't move and Bellamy didn't make an effort to move. Despite his light personality, Kaya saw Bellamy distressed.

"I'm sorry about Atom," she apologized, remembering the whole point they had left camp. "I know he was part of your group."

Bellamy was silent for a while, making her think he wouldn't answer. "I could have saved him but I didn't," Bellamy finally admitted, his voice low, ashamed of what he didn't do.

She stopped, putting a hand on his arm. He stopped, glancing at her hand. She pulled it away hastily. "We would have buried two grave instead of one tonight," she pointed out. "You were smart for not going after him."

He shook his head, his eyes burning with rage. "I was coward."

"Were you? What held you back? Fear?"

"Charlotte."

She looked at him in confusion. "Who?"

He glanced at her. "Charlotte," he repeated. "A little girl. She was with us and I had to make sure nothing happened to her. That's why I didn't go after Atom. That's what I'm telling myself." He scoffed, rubbing his face in frustration.

She wanted to demand to him what was a little girl doing in a hunt? Was Bellamy out his mind? She could have gotten herself hurt or killed. Giving him a disapproving look, Kaya started walking, shoving her hands inside her jacket.

"He asked me to kill him," Bellamy whispered, he clenched his fist, trying to control his rage he felt for himself. "And I didn't. I- I couldn't."

"That's good," she whispered. "It doesn't make you a bad person. You don't have killer intentions."

"You don't know that," he gritted.

"Have you killed someone then?"

Bellamy jaw clenched, his eyes focusing intently in the tree in front of him. "What does that say about Clarke then? She killed him." He avoided her question but she didn't care, her mind was focused on something else.

"That she doesn't tolerate suffering." Kaya looked down at her bandage that Clarke insisted to change every few hours.

Bellamy eyes flitted to her bandaged hand. "Unlike other peoples."

Neither made a move to go inside, despite how dangerous it was to be out, with grounders lurking, ready to strike. Kaya closed her eyes, trying to calm down. She felt anxious. Ever since she saw the blood in Atom's body she has felt a desperate itch to ease herself. She felt like she was drowning, in a despair so deep that she felt like dying.

It wasn't a foreign feeling. That's how she felt all the time, back in her cell. It what would cause her to lay down in the cool ground, counting backward, hoping to regain a part of herself. She hated herself for being weak, pathetic. How she would seek her solace in her bloody arms.

Kaya wanted to stop but she couldn't it was all she had. It was comfort blanket. But now that she was on earth, with Finn's constant vigilance when he wasn't busy following Clarke, she had to find something else. Kaya wanted, needed to prove that she wasn't weak. Or _worthless burdened, _one of her father's many kinds words.

"Kaya? Kaya? Are you okay? Are you having a panic attack?"

_I'm not weak. I can make it._

* * *

**God, again, this chapter took so much longer than I thought. Another excuse is because I had one written almost completely different and then decided to change completely everything. Initially I was going to make Kaya go with Bellamy in the hunt but I realized that would be weird, what would she do. She's better off with the others. And hey, we got to learn more about her friendship with Finn.**

**Oh, another thing, I made a tumblr specifically made for my Fanfics. _lovelygraceflower, _so follow me.**

**Any errors, I will come back and fix them. ****I seriously, want to thank you for the follows, favorites and reviews! Those make me happy. Review, follow or favorite!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The 100, just my OC's**


	7. Don't Bother Worrying

**First of all guys, who's excited for season three?! Cause I am dying of excitement. The newest promo has got me going crazy. In less then a month we get to see what the heck is Bellamy planning to do, we see a grounder Clarke and why is Lexa fighting in GoT style? It's killing me. This show is going to be the death of me but in a good way.**

**Anyways, going back to the story... Hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm kinda proud how it ended up, especially I get to introduce another character from the show. Happy reading :)**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Don't Bother Worrying**

* * *

_Five. Four. Three. Two. One._

Everything slowly went back into focus as she finished her countdown. She technically wasn't having a panic attack but counting down had always worked to calm her down. Kaya vaguely remembered Bellamy grabbing her arm to steady her when she started losing control. She could hear his stricken voice, asking over and over again her if she was okay.

"Kaya." His voiced snapped her out of her haze. She straightening up, pushing him off her.

"Stop it. Let me go. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" He clearly didn't believe her. His eyes scanned her, looking for something in her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She nodded, her voice coming off breathy, going against her claims. Clearing her throat, she repeated, "Yeah I'm fine. Just... tired."

Bellamy narrowed his eyes. "Do you honestly think I'm stupid? Why are you lying to me when you're not fine?"

"Because I am fine," she snapped. "Why does everybody think I'm not? I'm here standing alive. Isn't that enough?"

"No, it's not. You weren't fine a few seconds, you were having a panic attack again."

"It wasn't a panic attack," she said defensively. "I was just... having a hard time to breathe."

He narrowed his eyes, not believing her. "Hard time breathing?" he scoffed. "I had to hold you, to keep you from falling. How are you fine?"

"It's normal. I'm fine."

He scoffed in disbelief, shaking his head. "You're very stubborn," Bellamy observed bitterly.

"So are you," she countered. "Looks like you finally meet your match."

Bellamy stared at her, cocking his head to the side. "What would Finn do if he was here?" he asked curiously.

"What?" she snapped.

"Answer the question. What would he do?" he asked.

She saw that he was serious. She licked her lips, the scenario playing in her head. "He would be twice as stubborn as the both of us. He would be annoying and make me count. And then he would be worrying, being on my case all the time. Not leaving me alone."

"That sounds awful," he said seriously, then he shook his head. "What is wrong with you girls? Not liking for someone to worry about you? We just want the best for you."

"Cause you guys act like we're made out of glass. We might not be that strong but we can get by. I've handled myself for three years without Finn, I don't need him now."

Bellamy smiled a little. "That's good to know. But I think he should know."

"Why?"

"I think its good to have someone to worry about no matter how much you don't want them to worry."

"But Finn is so exhausting," she sighed, rubbing her temple in frustration.

"How are you guys even friends? You guys are polar opposites. And you seem annoyed by him ninety-five percent of the time. How?"

"He kinda grew on me like a fungus," she admitted with a shrug. "Once he was there, it was impossible to get rid of him."

"I bet he appreciates being called that," Bellamy grinned.

"No he doesn't," she said seriously. "He hates it."

"I was joking, you know that?"

She blinked, seeing his smile. "Oh. You sounded serious and I assumed... I'm not really good with people right now."

"Like I said, polar opposites."

"We are," she agreed. "But it kinda balances us out. But I can see why you wonder how we're friends. He's being acting different now that he's here. More impulsive than usual."

"But he still would care to know how you are," he pointed out.

"What part don't you understand that—"

"You're fine? None. I've come to see that you're a liar," Bellamy told her flatly.

"Just don't tell him," Kaya pleaded. "He'll only make it worse."

Bellamy nodded curtly, making her relax. "Okay then. I'm going to sleep."

"Where are you going to sleep?" Bellamy asked when they entered the camp. There were a few delinquents outside but most of them had gotten inside their tents, tired after a long day.

"The floor?" She looked at him confusion.

"No. I mean a tent. Where's your tent?" He motioned to the ones surrounding him.

Her eyes widened, realizing what he was talking about. "Oh... a tent. I actually don't have one," she admitted.

Bellamy glared at her. "You don't have one? How come you don't have one? Weren't you making one earlier in the day?"

"I haven't had time to make one. You told me to go to the dropship and then the fog appeared, keeping us inside."

"You can't sleep outside," Bellamy said in a final tone.

"It's not like I have an option. It's only going to be for one more night. Wells promised to help me tomorrow to make a tent."

Bellamy shook his head. "You're not sleeping outside. Everybody has a tent and you're going to be the only one without one. It's not safe. You need a tent."

"Then where do I sleep Bellamy?" she demanded. "In the dropship? I don't think so."

"You can stay in my tent," he suggested, his eyes shining, taking a step closer to her. "Its big enough for the two of us. Especially if we stick together," he whispered to her ear.

She pushed him back. "I'm good outside."

He rolled his eyes. His eyes scanned the place when they landed to a faraway tent. "Octavia has a tent. You'll sleep there."

"Shouldn't you ask her if she wants to share her tent first?"

"She won't mind sharing with you."

"Uh, actually, I'm fine. I can sleep outside," she insisted.

"No, you're not. I'm not going to let you."

"I appreciate your sudden humanity but let go. Its night, she's probably asleep. If you really want me to sleep under a roof, I'll go to the dropship."

"You're sleeping in Octavia's tent," he said stubbornly. "And don't argue with me."

"Oh my god, you fucking asshole," she said under her breath. Shaking her head, Kaya relented. "Fine. Where is her tent?"

Bellamy smiled victoriously. "Follow me."

"You can just tell me," she grumbled.

"Follow me," he repeated, pushing her to start walking.

"Whatever."Begrudgingly, Kaya followed Bellamy back into the camp. He passed various tents that all looked alike until he stopped in front of one.

"Octavia," he called out. "Can I come in?"

"Fuck off Bellamy!" she yelled from inside.

Kaya looked at him in alarm. "I don't—"

He stopped her with her hand. Taking Octavia's harsh answer for a yes, he opened the flap, motioning Kaya to go first. Throwing him a dirty look, she ducked in with him following her.

"I said... Kaya?" Octavia looked at her in confusion. She was sitting down on the floor where her bed laid. "What are you doing here?" She glared at Bellamy.

"She's staying here with you tonight," Bellamy told her.

Octavia glared at him. "Go away Bellamy."

A flash of hurt crossed his face but he composed himself. He looked at both of them. "Kaya is staying here." Looking at her especially, he ordered, "And no arguing."

She rolled her eyes. "Just get out of the tent."

"Don't try anything," Bellamy warned her. He turned around, opening the tent flap. "Goodnight."

Octavia simply glared at him. When he was gone, she waited a few seconds to make sure he was out of earshot. Turning to Kaya, Octavia scooted to the side of her bed, patting the empty spot. Kaya reluctantly joined her.

"If it weren't you, I would have kicked you out," Octavia admitted.

Kaya licked her lips nervously. "I'm fine sleeping outside. I just said it because he was here. I could leave—"

"No," Octavia said harshly. She gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry but you can stay. But because I say so. Not because of him."

Kaya could see in that moment the resemblance between the Blake siblings. Both were bossy and controlling. Instead, she said, "Thanks. You're a good friend."

Octavia smiled shyly. "I'm a good friend?"

Kaya nodded. "Yeah. You're giving me shelter. That's really nice of you."

Her smile dimmed. "Why did Bellamy force you into a tent? I'm surprised he noticed you with his inflated ego doesn't let him see."

She laughed, covering her mouth. "Well, your brother is a control freak," Kaya offered. "He doesn't like being said no."

Octavia snorted. "That sounds like him. And also unlike him."

"What do you mean?"

"Worrying about other people. He's a selfish bastard," she said bitterly. "Only thinks about himself."

"He thinks about you. I mean, he's here because of you," Kaya reminded her gently. "But I agree at times he only thinks about himself. It was weird for him to insist for me to stay with you."

"Why did he insist?"

"I don't have a tent. I kept telling him that Wells was going to help me tomorrow make one but he wouldn't listen. Said I'm not sleeping outside because he said so."

Octavia nodded. "Bellamy help me with mine. He made it big enough for two people." She brightened up. "We could share if you want."

Kaya gave her a tight smile. "I don't want to bother you. Besides Wells is already going to help me make one."

"Oh. Okay," Octavia said, a little disappointed.

Remembering how rude Octavia had been towards her brother, Kaya decided to ask her about it. "Why were you like that to Bellamy when he came in?"

Octavia glared at the wall in front of them. "He got Atom killed."

Kaya looked at her in surprise. "You and Atom...?"

She shrugged. "Not really, we just kissed but it was horrible to see him there, dead. All because of Bellamy."

"I'm sorry Octavia." Kaya wanted to do something besides apologizing but she didn't know what.

"Can't believe Bellamy would do that. He scared Atom away and then he got him killed. God," she made a strangled noise. "I know that Bellamy is trying to protect me but he is so controlling."

"I understand."

"No you don't," Octavia scoffed. "You don't have a brother."

"No I don't have a brother but I understand. That's how Finn is with me at times. It's annoying especially when they don't realize when they're being like that."

"I'm not talking to Bellamy," Octavia said. "He deserves to suffer for a few days."

"No don't do that," Kaya blurted out. "Atom was Bellamy's friend. He feels guilty about what happened to him. He wanted to save Atom but he couldn't because he had to protect a little girl."

"What?" Octavia looked at her. Kaya hadn't realized she had been crying, her eyes red.

"Atom begged him to kill him but he couldn't," Kaya continued. "He didn't have it in him. He calls himself a coward for not being able to do his friend a favor. Clarke was the one who ended his misery. Atom was suffering and now he's not."

"How do you know all of that that?" she whispered.

"He told me," Kaya said lamely.

She frowned. "Why would he tell _you_?"

"Uh... he just started talking out of nowhere. I don't think he realized who he was telling," Kaya lied to her. She wasn't an expert but she was sure Octavia wouldn't like it if she found out that she was helping her brother keep an eye on her.

Octavia nodded her head. Wiping her eyes, she cleared her throat. "I—I think I'm going to sleep."

"Oh, alright." Kaya got up for her bed. "Goodnight Octavia."

"There's an extra blanket over there." She pointed to the lump that was in the far corner of the tent. "There's enough space to make a bed. Good night Kaya."

"Thank you."

Octavia shifted for her back to Kaya. Grabbing the blanket she created a makeshift bed. Taking off her jacket to use it as a pillow, she made it into a ball. She laid down, her head resting on the pillow, frowning at how hard the ground felt. The previous nights she hadn't felt it because she had been too exhausted. But now, when she was still full of energy, Kaya couldn't make herself go into a comfortable. Shifting a couple times, she found a position that allowed her to relax.

"Kaya?" Octavia spoke up after a couple of minutes in silence.

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad Bellamy forced you to share the tent."

Kaya nodded silently. She was irritated at Bellamy for being controlling but she was glad that she had a chance to talk to Octavia. She wanted to reciprocated the answer but suddenly felt tired, making her close her eyes and doze off.

* * *

For the first time, Kaya didn't wake up because of a loud noise. She woke because of her own will. She was disoriented when she opened her eyes, seeing green. For a second, she thought she was back to in her cell. When she sat up, Kaya remembered where she was. She was in Octavia's tent. She rubbed her face, slowly getting up. She looked to the right and saw that Octavia was still fast asleep. She sat up and silently got out of the tent, not wanting to wake her up.

Kaya could see that the delinquents were already outside, busy at work. She could see that the atmosphere had changed from the first day that had arrived Earth. Everybody was more guarded, looking over their shoulders to see if there wasn't a grounder behind them. There were a few people who still were enjoying their new freedom, laughing as they worked.

She moved to the side as two guys passed her, carrying a large log. The first person she ran into that she knew was Finn. He was doing the same things, observing the scene.

"Good morning Kaya," he greeted her when she joined him.

"Good morning," she mumbled, her mind slowly catching up.

He gave her a half smile. "Barely woke up?"

"Yeah," she yawn, stretching. "And I'm guessing not you?"

"Nope. I was out and about," he shrugged.

"You shouldn't be out," she frowned, suddenly in the alert. "It's dangerous. There're grounders."

He nodded. "It is dangerous but, come on, it's me we're talking about."

"Yeah, I forgot who I was talking about. Spacewalker. The one who breaks the rules. Who seeks adventure. What a daredevil he is," she mocked. "At least tell me it was in the morning you were outside and not in the night."

"I was in the dropship with eye witnesses, in case you don't believe me. What about you? Where were you last night?" he inquired.

"Sleeping, like everybody else."

"That's not what I meant. I mean, when you went with Wells you never came back."

"Yes, I did. When I came back to the camp, I went to sleep in Octavia's tent." She pointed to the tent she had stayed the night. "She was there, ask her if you don't believe me."

"That's not what I meant, I mean—never mind. Forget it. I'm just overreacting."

If she had been fully awake she would have forced him to tell her but she still trying to keep her eyes open. She looked around the camp. "Have you seen Wells?"

Finn looked around. "No, I actually haven't. Why do you want him?"

"He promised me he would help me to build my tent."

"He did?"

"Yeah, it was nice of him. He's not bad," she admitted. "I don't know why people don't like him. I know he's the chancellors son but that doesn't mean anything. My dad was an asshole that doesn't make me one."

"No you are an asshole," Finn disagreed with a teasing grin. "You're just a nice one."

She smirked. "I should be offended but I find that as a compliment."

"Why didn't you ask me for help? I could have helped you build your tent." Finn looked insulted that she didn't go to him for help.

"What's that in your hand?" She pointed to his hand where he was holding something.

"What? It's nothing," he shook his head, making him hide it behind his back. Whatever he was holding, he slipped it into his jacket pocket. "Why did Wells offer? What were you doing with him?"

"Calm down Finn. He _offered_, I didn't ask him."

"You're so... possessive." She gave him a strange look. "What is up with you today?"

"Nothing," he said, clenching his fist. "Well, he's not here, so let me help you instead."

"I barely woke up, let me at least look for him. He should be out here, he always wakes up early."

Finn sighed impatiently. "Come on Kaya, I'm here, he's not. Let me help you."

She looked around, not seeing Wells. He was hard to miss, always standing out. She couldn't see him in the crowd. She turned to Finn, who was looking at her impatiently. "Okay fine," she relented, making him smile triumphantly. "But if he comes to me, complaining how I broke a promise, I'm blaming you."

"I think I can handle him."

"Let's just build the damn tent that made my life difficult last night."

He looked at her questioningly but he didn't ask for details. They went to an empty area and started working on the tent. Finn spoke as they were picking sticks.

"I," he started slowly, making Kaya looked at him curiously. "I saw you with Bellamy."

She looked at him curiously. "When?"

"A while ago. You guys seem to get along, which is surprising, you don't get along with people that much."

"Why are you telling me this? Are you just insulting my social skills?"

Finn frowned at her defensive tone. "Did you have sex wit him?" he blurted out.

She froze, looking at him in shock. "God Finn, no. Where the hell did you get that idea?"

Finn visibly relaxed. "Good."

"Good?" She raised her eyebrows.

"You know he'll have sex with anybody, he's a man whore. You're not special to him."

Kaya was irritated at his condescending tone. She wasn't stupid, she knew how Bellamy was, so why was Finn acting like she was? "I am aware of that, you don't need to be harsh about it."

"I'm just reminding you. He won't leave you alone until you have sex and then he won't even remember your name."

She sighed. "Thank you for telling me that Finn."

"I'm just trying to—"

"Yeah I know. I appreciated whatever you're doing but I can handle a guy. And not that I should be telling you, but none of that is going to happen. It never was going to happen."

"It wasn't?"

"No," she told him. "Why did you get that idea?"

"Because," he spluttered. "I saw you two guys practically have sex."

"Oh my God, when? Wait..." Her eyes widened. "That was you? Who was watching you us?"

"I didn't mean too. I was looking for you and you were there with him. I left that moment."

"Finn, are you freaking kidding me?"

"Why did you kiss him if you weren't going to have sex with him?" Finn looked at her in confusion. "Guys like Bellamy look for sex not just kissing."

"I don't have to deal with you right now. its too early for this."

"Why did you kiss him?" Finn asked her again. "Why him? Why not—?"

"You?" Kaya asked him, looking at him pointedly.

"What?" he stuttered.

Kaya took a step forward him. "I don't want to say it cause it makes me an asshole but I think we've gotten to the point we can talk about it."

"Talk about what?" he said nervously.

She opened her mouth but that moment a delinquent came crashing past them, screaming in delight. Another came past them, chasing after them. Finn and Kaya looked at each other, Finn being the one to look away first.

"You know what, never mind," she said. "Let's just build this stupid tent."

"Yeah, let's build a tent," he said, not looking at her. He went back to arranging the wood to stay standing. "Maybe, you should go with Octavia and help her with Jasper."

Kaya looked at him questioningly. "Really? What about the tent?"

"I can do it alone. She probably needs help. She's planning to take him outside, for fresh air."

"What?" She looked at him in confusion. "But he's unconscious. How is she going to do that?"

He shook his head. "Not anymore. He woke up last night. Not in the best shape but he's awake and getting better."

"That's great," she smiled.

"Yeah, they actually told me that you helped them yesterday. Where you actually there?" He looked unconvinced.

"Yeah I was."

"Why?" he asked in disbelief.

"Because I asked them if they wanted help," she said slowly, not understanding why he didn't believe her.

"You were practically passing out in the morning and then out of nowhere you offer to help them?" he asked, looking dubiously. "Why would you do that?"

Kaya clenched one of her hands. "Don't you have a tent to build or something?"

"Yeah I do. You should go then."

"Thank you," she smiled at him gratefully. "You didn't have to help me."

He nodded, not returning the smile. "Its the least I can do."

"I'm sorry." She didn't know what she was apologizing for but she needed to say it. Not just for him but for her. Finn didn't acknowledge her, he continued building her tent, already halfway done.

Kaya looked around the camp, hopping to spot Wells but didn't see him. She bumped into a few people, apologizing. It looked like everybody was busy building a wall to protect the camp. Giving up on finding Wells, she headed to the dropship. Getting inside, Kaya saw Octavia with a conscious Jasper. He looked pale and fragile but he was awake.

"Hey! You're awake," Kaya smiled pleasantly at him.

"Yeah, woke up yesterday," Octavia beamed.

"I'm so glad you're up and moving."

Jasper gave her a weak smile. "Yeah me too," he said quietly.

"You left in the morning," accused Octavia. "I woke up and you were gone. Thanks for waiting for me."

"I'm sorry but you were asleep and I didn't want to wake you up." She smiled at her apologetically. "Sorry."

"Whatever." Octavia smiled and turned to Jasper. "Kaya was actually helping us yesterday to take care of you."

"Thank you," Jasper said gratefully. "I heard I was a pain in the ass."

"It's no problem," she waved him off. "It's the least I could have done. What are you guys doing?"

"We're going out for a walk, want to come with us?" Octavia invited her.

"No, we're not," Jasper said quickly. "I'm fine here."

Octavia ignores him. "So want to come?" she asked her.

"Uh, sure. Why not?" Kaya shrugged.

"Come on Jasper." Octavia tugged his arm. He resisted, staying planted in her spot. She sighed in frustration. "Jasper, it's not good for you to be holed up. You need fresh air."

"I spend all my life inside, I can handle being inside a little more," he said stubbornly.

"You don't want to go out?" Kaya guessed.

"No." Octavia looked in resentment at Jasper. "He refuses to leave."

"Why? I think it would do good for you the fresh air."

"He thinks he's going to get attacked again but I tell him that he's not. He's safe now."

"No offense but being with two girls isn't going to be safe," he muttered.

Octavia glared at him. "Now you have to worry about me killing you."

Jasper flinched at her steely glaze. He took deep breaths, trying to prepare himself. Both girls observed him as he kept glancing at the dropship exit to inside. After various seconds, he nodded, looking determined. "Okay. Lets do this."

"Yes!" beamed Octavia.

Not wasting a second, fearing he would change his mind, the three of them headed out of the camp. They slowed down when the girls saw Jasper linger back.

"Look, we're already there," Octavia tried. "Just a few steps, okay? One foot in front of the other. Hey. What's wrong?"

"Hmm?" Jasper looked at her. "Oh, nothing. I'm good."

Octavia sighed. "Jasper, it's been a week, okay? You've been given a second chance. You gotta use it."

Octavia nudged Kaya to contribute. "Oh, um, Jasper," she said softly. "It's scary, I know but we're here. Me and Octavia. Nothing is going to happen. The camp is safe. Don't worry, relax."

Octavia nodded in encouragement. She walked ahead to show to Jasper that it was safe for them when she let out a screech, being pulled to the side, disappearing from their view. Jasper grabbed Kaya's wrist tightly.

"Oh shit." Kaya eyes widened and looked at Jasper reassuringly. "She just tripped."

"Octavia?" Jasper said in fear. "Octavia? Octavia! Octavia, are you okay?"

"She's fine," Kaya reassured him. "Let me go and I'll check on her." She ran to where Octavia was. "Octavia," she hissed but got no answer.

She sighed in relief when she saw that it was just a guy holding Octavia, covering her mouth from making noise. Kaya kicked him in the shin, making them let go of Octavia.

She got up and shoved the guy away from her. "Hey, jerk! Get the hell out of here." She went to Jasper, who still looked afraid. "Jasper, come on. There's nothing to be afraid of."

Kaya nodded. "She's right. Ignore that asshole. But maybe we should be careful, its kinda dark."

"Yeah, we should," Octavia agreed, tugging Jasper forward.

Kaya walked ahead of them, looking to where she walked. She looked over her shoulder and saw Octavia and Jasper were a few feet behind her. They were looking at the ground, distracted.

"Hey guys! What— Oh, umph." She fell face flat to the ground. "Ugh, shit."

She spit dirt out of her mouth. She groaned in pain, twisting her body to what caused her to trip. It looked like it was a log that caused her to fall. Trying to get up, she kicked the log to the side and froze. Her eyes widened in horror, realizing it wasn't a log.

"Oh my God!" gasped Kaya, seeing that it was a leg. She crawled towards it and fell back when she saw the body. "Wells?"

Going on her knees, she turned the body. When she did that, blood splattered all over her, staining her face and clothes but she didn't care. She frantically shook Wells limp body. "Wells? Wells?! Come on, Wells!"

She gasped when she saw a deep cut on his neck, where the blood was coming from. She tried to cover the wound with her hand, to stop the blood from spilling. It only made her get more blood on her. She pushing the body of her. She looked at her hand, covered in blood. She ran her hand over her hair carelessly, trying to remain calm.

"Kaya," Jasper called out nervously.

"No, don't come over here," she rasped. She cleared her throat. "Stay right there."

Octavia ignored her and rushed to her. Kaya heard her gasp from behind her. "Oh my God! Someone get Bellamy," Octavia's voiced trembled.

"I'll go." Kaya shakily got up.

"Kaya—" Jasper stopped when he saw her, drenched in blood.

Kaya walked into the camp, her mind reeling. So much blood, she hadn't seen that much blood since she had cut herself. She could feel it seeping into her clothes, tainting them. She stopped moving when she felt her body slam against someone.

"Kaya, what did you do?" Looking up, she saw Bellamy frantically looking at her, his hand on her arm tightly. Everybody was staring at them, confused why she was covered in blood. "Kaya? Why are you covered in blood?"

"Bellamy," she finally said. "Bellamy listen to me."

"Did you get hurt? Kaya?"

"It's not my blood," she told him softly. Hearing those words he loosened his grip.

"Whose blood is it then?" he demanded.

"Wells is dead. He's dead."

His eyes widened. He looked around to make sure no one heard. "Go on, get back to what you were doing," he barked at them. Reluctantly, everybody turned around but talking to themselves, wondering what had happened.

"Come on."

"But Wells—"

He ignored and dragged her to a tent. Inside, he let her go and demanded, "What happened?"

"I don't know. I just fell on his body and he was dead. He's dead and there was a lot of blood and I didn't know what to do."

"What were you doing outside? You're supposed to stay inside."

"I was with Octavia because we were taking Jasper for a walk and oh - you have to go get them. They're still with him."

Bellamy frowned, his hand on her shoulder. "Stay here and clean up. I'll go and deal with everything."

Kaya nodded, scrubbing the blood out of her hand with the sleeve of her shirt. Bellamy forced her to look at him. She blinked, noticing for the first time, he had freckles.

"Are you sure you're not hurt?" he asked again.

"I'm sure," she said softly. "Just go."

He watched her get the blood out of her hands for a few seconds. Taking a step back, he left her alone in the tent. Kaya didn't stop scrubbing until her hands were bright red. She knew that she was covered in blood from her clothes but she didn't care. She just wanted the blood of her skin.

"Kaya?!" someone — Finn — shouted her name. "What the hell happened?"

In instinct, he checked her arms, imagining the worse. He looked relived when he saw that she wasn't cut.

"Wells is dead," she whispered. "I don't know how—or why but he's dead."

"What? Are you serious? Is that his blood?"

She nodded numbly. "I fell on him."

"We need to get you cleaned up." Finn pushed her hair out of her face. "You're covered in blood."

"The blood. What if it was them? Those grounders? What if it was you?" Kaya tried to remain calm. "You keep being stupid and going out and you're going to get killed."

"Kaya," Finn said soothingly. "Don't bother worrying. I'm not going out. No one is. We're safe now."

She glared at him. "I really want to hit you but I won't because I'm not strong enough to leave a bruise. I'm only going to hurt myself."

Finn pulled her into a hug. She stiffened at his touch but slowly relaxed, gripping his jacket. Kaya closed her eyes, still feeling her blood in her hands.

* * *

_Wanted: Bellamy Blake.  
__Crime: Attempt of murder to Chancellor Jaha._

Thomas frowned at the tablet. He was on edge at the seeing the picture of him. Bellamy Blake, the older brother of the illegal child, was on Earth with the delinquents. He was a criminal like them but he was different. He had tried to kill the Chancellor.

The council barely had realized who had shot the Chancellor. He had wondered why they kept it quiet but seeing who it was he realized why they were hesitant to share who it was. Especially that he had escaped by sneaking into the dropship. Thomas hoped that Kaya would stay away from him but had a feeling that it would be impossible to avoid Bellamy. He would obviously be with the delinquents where his sister was.

"Did you hear about Bellamy Blake?" was the first thing Thomas asked when he saw Raven.

She looked up from what she was doing. "Oh, yeah. I saw it today. Why would he shoot the Chancellor? Do you think he did it in revenge for locking up his sister? What was her name again?"

He shrugged. "I don't remember. But I don't think it was for that. He would have done that a long time ago."

Raven nodded in agreement. "Yeah."

Thomas put the tablet on the side. "He's with them though."

"Who?"

"Bellamy with the delinquents."

"Yeah but do you honestly think he would harm a bunch of teenagers? They're a hundred and he's only one. They outnumber him. I think they're safe."

"He wouldn't hurt them," Thomas whispered, recalling how good natured he seemed when they had been on duty together. Thomas was already a guard but Bellamy had been a cadet in training. "But I worry for them."

"Finn and Kaya will be okay."

"But what about the others?"

Raven shrugged. "They're delinquents. They're not that innocent."

Thomas shook his head, remembering at the cowering thirteen year old that he had seen gotten arrested for simply stealing food. "Just because they're delinquents doesn't mean, they can fend themselves. They're still kids that need protection. Some of them need the reassurance of an adult."

"Okay Mother Thomas." Raven looked at him strangely. "What's gotten to you?"

"Nothing. I— I need to go." He turned around, heading to the door.

"What?" Raven dropped everything and ran to him. She went in front of him, blocking his exit. "You can't leave. You have to help me."

"I have a job, you know?" he reminded her. "And so do you."

"Now you have a job?" scoffed Raven, wiping her hands clean. "What about the other days? Where the hell was your job?

Thomas sighed impatiently. "They need me now. Something is going on with the people."

"Do you even know what's going on?" she asked in disbelief.

"No because I'm here with _you_ instead," he stressed. "They're going to fire me Raven. I need this job. How am I going to support my mom?"

"You help your mom? I didn't know that."

"I don't really talk about it but yeah," he shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. "After my dad died, she couldn't get a good job so I help her. I get paid well but I won't anymore if I get _fired_."

Raven placed her hands on her hips. "Thomas its only going to be for a few more days and than you can come back to your boring job that helps you support your mom."

He threw his hands in the air in exasperation. "I don't even do anything. I just sit here and hold things for you."

"And keep watch and placed the parts in the areas that I don't reach. Thomas, listen, I don't say this a lot, but I _need_ you. Just stay."

He exhaled, feeling torn, not sure what to do. The previous night Commander Shumway had appeared in his compartment, asking why he hadn't been showing up to his duty. Thomas had lied saying that he had fallen ill and Dr. Griffin had advised him to stay secluded from the other people, too avoid spreading the disease. Thomas the entire time, tried to keep himself calm, trying to not get caught. Shumway, luckily, believed him and ordered that he showed up the next day, seeing that Thomas looked fine.

"Raven I—"

They were interrupted by a familiar knock on the door.

"Dr. Griffin," Thomas realized. He went to the door, unlocking it. Abby got inside quickly walking straight to Raven.

"How soon can you get this thing ready to drop?" Abby asked her urgently.

Raven cocked her head. "I'm still scraping up parts to fabricate a pressure regulator. We got two more days, right?"

"Can we launch without that part?" Abby pressed.

"We could launch, but we'll be dead before we get to the ground. And I mean bad dead. Ruptured lungs, air bubbles in the brain."

Thomas cringed at that. Nether Raven or Abby were fazed at that possible death, they were too focused on their need.

"We need that part. Why? What's wrong? Did something change?" Raven asked seeing Abby's stressed reaction.

"Clarke's wristband signal went out."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything, right?" Raven tried to reassure her. "She took it off like the rest of them. Okay. I can get a pressure regulator. Today."

"How?" Abby asked curiously.

"The less you know, the better," Raven said vaguely.

"Don't get caught," Abby warned them. "Especially you Thomas."

"What? I'm not doing anything."

"You haven't reported to your job."

Thomas cringed. "Well... My job was guarding the delinquents but there not here so I have some free time. Like a lot but I have something to do right now."

Abby pressed her lips in a thin line, thinking. "Don't go," she finally said. "I'll tell your supervisor that you're watching over the quarantined mechanic.

"Are you sure? I can still work and be here? Its not a problem."

"No, I need you here. If somewhere to find Raven here, they would send the guard and if they see you here, there wont be a problem.

Thomas nodded reluctantly. "Okay Dr. Griffin. Whatever you say."

"And void Kane at all cost," she added. "Both of you."

She looked at the both of them, waiting for them to nod. Satisfied at their response, she turned around, leaving them alone.

Thomas closed his eyes, feeling tired. "This isn't good."

"What?"

"Abby desperate to hurry things up? Kane an alert? This is going to end bad if we get caught.

"Exactly. If we get caught, which we won't. You worry too much. Don't bother, we're gonna be okay."

"Would they float us if we get caught?" Thomas asked in horror, ignoring her. "Wait... of course they would. They need the oxygen. They wouldn't hesitate. We are nothing to them."

"Okay," Raven slapped her hands on her thighs. "I'm gonna leave you in your ramblings while I get that regulated pressure."

he stopped talking. "Want me to go with you?" he offered.

"Didn't you head Dr. Griffin, you can't be seen?" She shook her head. "And besides, it they see you, someone from the guard, they're not going to budge, they don't trust the guard. Stay here, I'll be right back."

"Raven..."

"I'll be back," she promised.

"Raven. Maybe you should..." She was already gone, not hearing his warnings. "... think things through. Shit!"

He rubbed his face in frustration. Thomas understood how important it was for Raven fixing the pod bite she had to realize that they still had other responsibilities. She had stopped going to be her job, too preoccupied with her task.

Thomas walked out of the room, heading to the his compartment, to grab some of his things. He stopped when he saw Commander Shumway and Dr. Griffin discussing, most likely about him. Looking around, hopping no one saw him, he turned around and went back to the room where the pod was.

He sat down in a stool, staring at the pod blankly, thinking of every horrible possibility. He had come to two hundred and three ways things could go wrong when Raven had stormed in an hour later.

"Fucking whore," she shouted, kicking the table in anger. She went to grab a chair but Thomas rushed to her side, stopping her to make more damage to the room.

"Wow Raven. Stop it." Thomas grabbed her shoulders. "Calm down."

"That bitch won't give me a regulated pressure!" she shouted.

Thomas had no idea who she was talking about but knew that it went bad. "It's okay. We'll get a regulated pressure some other place."

"Do you even know what that is?" she snapped.

"It's to regulate pressure," Thomas said slowly, hoping she wouldn't slap him for stating the obvious.

She froze and looked at him. He waited for the worse but slowly, her lips quirked up. "At times you're okay Tom."

"Aw, I'm Tom now?" he teased.

"Don't push it," she warned.

"That part is really important, isn't it?" He could see how stressed Raven looked.

"Without it, we can't go to Earth," Raven groaned. "I need it but I can't get it. What the fuck do I do?"

"_We_ do," he corrected her. "It's our problem."

Raven looked at him unimpressed. "Okay then what do you suggest _we_ do?"

Thomas opened his mouth but closed it, having nothing. He thought about where to get it and his eyes widened when he thought of something. "When do you need it?" he asked her excitedly.

Raven looked at him in caution, trying to see what he was up to. He looked at her expectantly.

"As soon as possible. Today or tomorrow would be better."

"Is called a regulated pressure?"

"Yeah."

Thomas nodded thoughtfully. "I'm gonna go and you continued doing whatever you do."

"What are you going to do?"

"Don't worry, just go stay here."

"Thomas be careful," Raven warned him. "You can't trust anybody."

"I know Raven, I'm not five. Just trust me. I have a plan. Its a last minute plan but its a plan," he reassured her.

"Plan..." Raven muttered something under her breath, most likely cursing him. In a louder voice, she said, "Okay fine. Just remember, its a regulated pressure. And I need it by tomorrow the latest."

"Yeah, yeah, lock the door," he called behind his shoulder.

"I swear Thomas don't..." He slammed the door shut, not hearing what she was going to say. Thomas rushed through the halls, looking around, making sure no one paid attention him. It was relatively empty, everybody either at work or in their compartment. Thomas almost went without a hitch until ran into a trap.

Jane Rhode, his neighbor who harbored an obvious and, at times, creepy crush on him, had found him. Thomas was tolerant to many annoying and frustrating people, but when it came to her, he had very little patience with her. He had gently turned her down the first few times when she asked him out, finding her to be slightly insane and obsessive. But that didn't stop her from pursuing him. She always tried to win him over by making food or giving him small gifts. Jane wasn't dangerous but she did make him uncomfortable.

Thomas had been lucky that she hadn't found him the last few days, mostly because he had been holed up with Raven in the engine room. He hadn't realize how much stressed she put him until he saw her walking up to him. Fortunately, for him, it had been easy that day to get rid of her. He pushed her to the other direction. Thomas had learned the hard way, to wait for her to walk away. When he saw her turn the corner, he waited a few seconds to make sure, she didn't turn around and followed him.

When he didn't see her peeking, he turned around and practically ran. He took the longer way, in case if she was following him, she would get lost. Reaching his destination, Thomas entered the station. It was dark and stuffy the room. His eyes scanned the place, trying to find at least one person in the cluttered room.

"Anybody here?" he called out.

"Yo Tommy!" someone cheered. "You're alive! For a while I thought you were dead!"

Thomas turned and smiled when he saw Wick, his friend. He stood up from his stool and went to hug Thomas.

"My brother from another mother," Wick earned a sharp look from one of his older workers, making Wick smile sheepishly. "Its a joke. I know we look alike but we're not related. I swear."

Ever since the Blake's secret came out a year ago, everyone was weary of people who looked alive. Thomas and Wick had similar attributes, making it easy for people to mistake them for each other at various occasions.

"Come on Wick, don't say that," Thomas seriously but his eyes held a glint of amusement.

He laughed. "Its a joke Tommy."

Thomas rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I meant, don't call me Tommy, you know I hate it when people call me that. It makes me feel like I'm five again."

"Right cause you're the law? The bigger man whose better than everybody else?"

He rolled his eyes. Wick always teased him for choosing his father's career. When they were younger that had planned to work together but Thomas took interest into security, things changed. Wick didn't resent him but never let him forget that he broke their promise.

"What's got you here?" Wick asked. "You haven't been here in awhile."

"You know," Thomas shrugged, playing with a loose sheet of paper from Wicks table. "Avoiding stalkers and stuff like that. The usual."

"Aww, creepy Jane got to you today?" Wick shook his head sympathetically. "I'm telling you, change compartments. She's creepy. One day, she's gonna snap after another rejection."

"And how many times have I told you, I've tried to but having a neighbor who follows you around isn't a good enough reason to change compartments. Apparently, that's just me not appreciating a female attention."

"Say she harassed you," Wick suggested excitedly. "Gave you a bruise as she forced herself on you. I can hit you right now for proof."

"I am not hitting myself for that. So get away from me. And it doesn't matter," Thomas sighed. "She's still going to find me. She always does."

"And you want to know why?"

"No I don't," he groaned, rubbing his face with his hands

"Because you're too nice to her. You never tell her no. You say "Ill see," or "Maybe" or "I don't know". You can't be nice to those girls. Those answers keep her thinking she has a chance which you when she doesn't. You have to go to her," Wick instructed and demonstrated what Thomas should do, "and say "Jane. No. Absolutely No. I don't want to date you. You're crazy. Go away." That's what you should do." He smacked his hand on the table. "_That_ will make her go away."

He frowned, remembering all the time she had appeared at the worst moments. One time she showed up when he was in the area of the SkyBox where some delinquents we're placed in solitary confinement.

_"You're not supposed to be here. How'd you get in?"_

_"I just wanted too see you."_

Thomas internally shuddered at how her sudden appearance appeared had scared the crap out of him. He had asked the guards about how she entered and one of them said that she claimed to be bringing his lunch.

"I don't know if that will work."

"She's kinda hot though," Wick said, moving his eyebrows suggestively. "It wouldn't hurt to—"

"No," Thomas told him flatly. "I'm not gonna do anything with her. No matter how hot she is."

"Come on," Wick groaned. "Give her what she wants and then she would probably back of."

"Probably, you said it yourself. The worst thing that happen is she gets super clingy. Or more stalker-ish."

"So what? You would get laid pretty much every day. When was the last time you had sex? Like six months after Amy dumped you, not wait... you 'mutually broke up.'"

Thomas sighed. "I didn't come here to talk about my stalker and when was the last time I had sex."

Wick grinned knowingly. "Its been six months hasn't it?"

"Anyways..." Thomas changed the topic. "Before Jane showed up, I was actually heading over here to talk to you about something. "Can we talk? In private?"

Wick frowned, looking at him caution. He nodded and directed Thomas to the back of the room where it was secluded. "So what's up?" Wick said, sitting back down in a stool.

"I need a favor," Thomas said, looking at him seriously.

"What kind of favor?"

"The favor that can get me a regulated pressure?" Thomas smiled at him hopefully.

"A regulated pressure?" Wick repeated blankly.

"Do you know what—?"

"I know what it is." Wick frowned. "Its just— what do I look like? A mechanic? Don't offend me man. I'm an engineer. We don't deal with that crap."

Thomas smiled. "You're not a mechanic but you are a smartass of an engineer that has amazing connections to a regulated pressure."

"I might," Wick said vaguely, his brows furrowed.

"Are you saying that because you're trying to be mysterious or you not sure?"

"Hold on, I'm thinkin," Wick silenced him. He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Why do you need it? Or you can't tell me?" he said when he saw Thomas hesitation.

"Its a favor for someone. I don't think they'd appreciate me blabbing."

Thomas could already see Raven kicking his ass if he blurted out what she was doing. And as much as he trusted Wick, he didn't think it was a good idea telling him what they were doing. Even for him it was crazy what Raven and Dr. Griffin were planning.

Wick nodded in understanding. "It's cool. Its a tough one what you are asking me, those are not that common but I'll see what I can do."

"Can you see what you can do by today?" he asked hopefully.

"When do you need that part?"

"Today," Thomas said hastily.

Wicks eyes widened. "Aw, shit. Um.. God, uh, I guess I can tell you in an hour... yeah. An hour.'

Thomas smiled, relief that Wick would try to do it as soon as possible. "Thank you so much Wick. I owe you one."

"Yeah you do," he agreed. "Got a lot of crap to do right now. Its been hard since the death of Jake Griffin, even after a year. They haven't been able to replace him for some reason. Positions have been shuffled and a lot of the work load had been dumped to the lower engineers like me." Wick looked at the papers bitterly. "And I don't even get paid more, just get extra hours."

"Fuck them," Thomas told him. "You're better than all of those higher engineers."

"Yeah I am but they don't see that. Just see me as a hussy who gets the scraps."

Thomas nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry Wick but I wouldn't be asking for your help if I didn't need it."

"I know. You know I'll help you as much as I can. I'm just ranting."

Thomas slapped Wicks back, in a reassuring manner. "As much as I love this, I'm gonna to before we start spilling our darkest secrets."

Wick laughed, shoving him. "Your only dark secret is how long its been since you've been laid."

Thomas forced himself to laugh, the guilt nagging him. "I'll be back in an hour."

Wick nodded, already looking at his paperwork. "Yeah, I'll be here.

Thomas was at the door when Wick stopped him. "Tommy, hold up..."

"What?"

"You're not in trouble, right?" Wick looked at him in concern.

"What? No," Thomas shook his head. "I'm fine. Just doing a favor someone a favor."

"Okay. Just be careful. Getting illegal parts its dangerous. You could get floated."

"Yeah I know." Giving him a reassuring smile, Thomas got out of the room.

He leaned against the wall, rolling his head, trying to relax. Now that there was a chance to get a regulated pressure, all he had to do is go Raven the hopefully good news. Pushing himself of the wall, he walked more paranoid down the hall, his encounter with Jane making him look over his shoulder every turn.

* * *

**I'm so happy that I got a chance to upload a chapter before the year ended. It's such an accomplishment for me when I usually take such a long time to update. I want to wish you guys a (late) happy holidays and great a new year where everything you hope to accomplish happens.**

**Thank you guys for everything, I'm so thrilled that people seem interested in my story. Any errors found, I will go back and fix them. I would love to hear what you guys thought about the chapter or even the trailer.**

**And for some shameless self promotion, I'm soon going to start a new X-Men fanfiction. It's going to be a Alex Summers/OC story. I'm super pumped about this story, I just love Marvel, especially X-Men. If you want to read it, check my profile, I'm going to upload the new story in the month of January, probably by the first week.**

**Disclaimer, I don't own the 100, simply my OC's and my original ideas.**


	8. I Can Handle It

**God, this chapter took me twice then I wanted too. Mostly because about more than half my work got deleted, not once but _twice,_ which really stressed me out. I managed to be able to retrieve some of it but a lot of it was gone forever.**

**But I hope the new year has been treating you well. And that you've been enjoying season 3 (I have; Lexa and Clarke are killing me). **

**Slight warning: there is going to be a brief mention of self-harm in at the beginning of the chapter. After that... Happy reading :)**

* * *

**Chapter Eight: I Can Handle It**

* * *

_Red. Scarlet. Vermilion. Crimson. Ruby. Carmine._

_Doesn't matter what's the name, it was a color at the end of the spectrum next to orange and opposite violet._ _And it wasn't going to change the vibrant color that was smeared over the wall near the door and all over her arms if she decided to call it sanguine._

_Maybe she should clean up. After all it was her mess that she made, it was the only polite thing to do. But she couldn't bring herself to do get up and clean. Her body was too heavy. Maybe it was because of the blood loss. It wasn't even a deep cut, it was a small one but she should at least press her blanket over it. _

_Kaya shifted around and flinched at the cold metal. The room was cold but she didn't care. All she could feel we the throwing pain in her left wrist. She had taken of her shirt and was left in a tank top, to avoid getting any stains. Closing her eyes, she rested her head against the wall, and tried to ignore the blood seeping of her arm._

I hate blood.

_She snorted at the irony. Not only did she hate it but had never been good with blood. It always made her feel light headed, and her stomach churn to the point where she would belch. It was ironic how she craved to feel the blood when she couldn't even see it._

_Like a mental timer had gone off inside her head, she sat up and went to grab her long sleeved shirt. Putting it on carefully to avoid staining her shirt, Kaya struggled but managed. She carelessly threw her shoes to the side and sat down in the bed. __The familiar knowing sensation came over, making her start whispering a countdown._

_"One-hundred. Ninety-nine. Ninety-eight. Ninety-seven. Ninety-six..." Each number matched the beat of her heartbeat. Slow and steady. No matter how close she got to zero, she never felt a change of pace. Everything was mundane for her. Sleeping, moving, breathing tired or bored her. "Eighty-two. Eighty-one. Eighty. Seventy-nine..."_

_Her eyes darted back and forth, from the door to the floor. Maybe she should clean up. If she didn't it would stain the floor and she was going to be here for another year._

_"Seventy-four. Seventy-three..."_

But_... if she kept Thomas occupied, he wouldn't notice anything different from the room. When Thomas spoke he always got carried away and always gave her his undivided attention, it was one of his traits that was appreciated when she didn't want him to notice things._

_"Fifty-six. Fifty-five. Fifty-four..."_

Why did something that hurts feels good?

_"Forty-nine. Forty-eight. Forty-seven..."_

Because you're mentally unstable person who lives inside a cell and likes to hurt herself to feel in control of her pathetic life that you should probably end. Should I mention you suffer panic attacks at least once a day. Seriously why do you even want to live?_ The spiteful that always knew how to bring her down, spoke up eagerly. She liked to refer it as her father, who always had the same helpful suggestion. Expect he was more subtle._

_She exhaled shakily, pressing her hand against her newest wound. She trembled in her countdown. "Thir-thirty-five. Uh, thirty-thirty-shit. Uh, thirty-three..."_

Breath in, breath out. Don't feel the blood, just feel the pain.

_"Twelve. Eleven," she breathed. "Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four—"_

_Halfway when she was about to say three, the door opened and in came Thomas with her food of the day. She could smell from where she was and was pleasantly surprised that it smelled decent._

"_Lunch," Thomas announced in his usual cheerful voice. He walked up to her and placed the tray in front of her before taking a seat next to her. The bed sank under his weight, making her shift around. She quickly picked up her sweater and put it over her arms. _"_How are you feeling today? Happy to see me? Excited for some good food?"_

_"Bored." She shrugged, playing with the end of the strands of her hair. "How about you?"_

_"I'm great. Except that I came late today and I got yelled at and then I had to say sorry but I mean it's not my fault I was late I couldn't find my sweater and then I remembered I left it in the room where we have the meaning but I didn't get a chance to explain. So, I'm fine."_

_She tried to refrain herself from looking anywhere, but Thomas, who seemed oblivious of the state of the room. "Is the food good?" she asked casually, but that was just the push he needed to—_

_And with that, it set off Thomas to chatter about what happened to the other delinquents, going into extensive detail that it felt like she had experienced it. He probably only spoke for about a minute, but it felt like a long time with him. Kaya examined him, it had been three days since she had seen him. He looked the same, except he had a blonde scruff in his face. She wondered who did he look like, his dad or mom, and contemplated on asking him, but went against the idea._

_Halfway, Thomas noticed that she hadn't touched her food in the time he talked. "You should eat it. I think you're going to like it today. Jane and Connor, you know the ones that are to your right, well they said it actually tasted nice. So, you're in for a treat."_

_She looked at him and reached to the place to grab a piece of her food. She took slow bites, tasting it. Thomas had been right, the food wasn't actually bad, it was a little cold though._

_"Mhm," she __tried to speak with a full mouth and then swallowed__. "It taste... nice."_

_"Didn't I tell you? It's good_._ Hey, your hair is all knotted," he commented lightly. "Why haven't you brushed it?__"_

_She didn't need a mirror to see how she looked but she was confident he was right about her hair and that she looked horrible. She hadn't taken a shower and days. Thomas didn't seem to be inching away from her, which told her that she didn't smell bad. __She opened her mouth and closed it, not finding her voice. She wanted to say something but she couldn't. All she wanted to say was that she was fine, that she would take a shower and eat her food and do something with herself._

_But she didn't, not because she didn't want to but just couldn't. Luckily, for her, Thomas could see her internal debate. He had learned after a while. __Thomas eyes zero down in her arm and tensed at what he saw but kept a friendly smile, forcing himself not to comment._

_"Well," he sighed, slapping his thighs. "I sadly can't stay here to chat, as much as I love to. I have so much to do. Like a lot."_

_She cocked her head, frowning. He couldn't stay to talk? Then what the hell did he call this? "Goodbye then."_

_He sighed and that made her look at him. When he caught her eye, he gave her one of his genuine smile. Kaya attempted to give him but felt exhausted even moving her lips. She wanted him to know that she appreciated. if it weren't for him, she would have done something horrible. _

I'm glad you're here Thomas. You make my day a little better, which is saying something. I'm sorry_. _

"_Today's not your day, huh?" he asked with a grim smile. __She sighed, shaking her head but __Thomas stopped her with his hand. "No, its fine. I get it. Just eat and maybe take a shower. Your hair looks more brown than blonde."_

_She cringed at his comment and scooted away from him, disgusted by herself. She felt the bed move as he got up and stood in front of her. "I will."_

"_I do hope you feel better," Thomas said, his voice sincere and hopeful. He hesitated before rubbing her shoulder in a comforting manner. She didn't react at his touch like she usually would. Just stayed limp, not feeling anything. _"_Kaya, you should care about your health. At least not for you but everyone else."_

Ask that question another day. Not right now, _she thought, but to appease him she reached over and grabbed a cracker, taking an exaggerated bite. _Ask the question another day.

_Because she didn't care anymore._

* * *

The memory slapped her across the face, confounding her for remembering that specific moment. It wasn't parallel to what was happening to her in the moment. They were different events at different times of her life, the only similarity was that they were difficult. But maybe it was a reminder of what she might need. The comfort she wanted and not the one she was currently receiving.

"How many times have I told you I'm fine?"

"Until I believe you," Finn repeated in his obnoxious voice, that made her want to crawl out from her scared skin.

"Which is probably going to be never," she muttered, rubbing her temple, feeling a headache forming. They were still in the tent that Bellamy had left her in. She wasn't sure how long it had passed, but she was sure that it was long enough that all the delinquents were aware of Wells death because there was a lot of shouting outside, more than usual.

"I'm sorry for you but I'm not leaving you alone, I think...—"

She knew that he was protective, doing anything to protect the people he loved. He had proved it when he took the blame for Raven and gotten himself arrested. Kaya was used to it and had allowed back in the Ark when they were younger. But now it was plain annoying. She felt suffocated by his presence.

"I'm going to kill myself. Trust me, Finn, I'm not."

"You don't know that."

_Does he actually believe that you are that weak? _She felt a pang of betrayal. He was supposed to believe in her. And she couldn't count on her supposedly best friend, who could she count on?

"You think I'm that pathetically weak that I'm going to kill myself?" she asked quietly.

"No—I just—" he spluttered. "I mean, you're unpredictable and that was really difficult, uh—" He stopped talking and sighed, rubbing his face in frustration. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"I'm strong in _my _way," Kaya gritted, pulling the roots of her blonde hair. "I can handle it."

"Kaya stop that. You're pulling your hair. Just stop it. You always do that when you're stressed out."

"I'm fine," she repeated firmly. "I'm doing this because _you're_ stressing me out."

"But are you—?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I physically look horrible, which isn't new but I feel fine, which is a new one."

"So you're over Wells death? That quickly?"

"I do feel bad about Wells, he was so young and never did anything wrong, but there's nothing I can do, he's dead. I'm really sorry about, I really am but I barely knew him, so I won't be that affected. If it were you, then that would be a different story. Actually, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Finn expression shifted from exasperated to guilty. He took a step closer to her. "Look, Kaya—"

"No," she snapped, getting up abruptly and making Finn take a step back. She gave him a stern look and put her hands on her hips. "No 'Look, Kaya.' I'm fine. Yes, I was freaking out a while ago but it was because I fell on a dead body. Emphasize on _dead_. And then there was all that blood. You know I don't do well with blood. So, of course, I was not fine a while ago but now I feel better than before and I am going to get better as time passes. Understand Finn?"

"Don't get mad, Kaya," Finn said.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she screamed.

"I'm I interrupting something?" Both turned to see Bellamy looking at them in slight amusement. They had been too busy arguing that they didn't hear the tent flapped open.

"Kinda of," Finn said.

"Too bad," Bellamy said, flashing him a smile.

"What happened? Is Octavia okay?" Kaya asked, going towards him. Finn lingered back, eyeing at Bellamy wearily. "What did you do with—?

"Are you okay?" Bellamy interrupted her, ignoring her stream of questions. That made her shoot him a deadly look. Finn actually cracked a smile at her reaction. "I'm taking that as a yes."

"Yes, I'm fine."

"No, she's not," Finn said at the same time as she agreed with Bellamy. "She says that all the time."

He looked at the two of them, trying to see who to believe. She looked at the two guys in utter resentment.

"She looks pale," Bellamy commented. In that moment, Kaya exploded, tired of not being counted for and always having someone undermine her. She whirled around to face Finn.

"Kaya—"

"Shut up! You're getting on my nerves Finn," she spat, anger pulsing through her vain, the kind she had never felt before. "I don't want you to speak to me unless you say something smart which is probably never, so looks like we're done." Finn opened his mouth to object but she didn't give him a chance. She moved towards Bellamy, who tried to hide his laugh with a cough. "And you stay the hell away from me, I don't want you around me. Stop being such a control freak."

"Whatever you say, Kaya," he said in a voice, that in her head sounded mocking.

_They think you're a joke. And you kinda are. Depressed and oppressed are a bad combination. _The voice that was eerily familiar to her father, sent a chill through her spine._ Kaya, Kaya. What a sad child you are. This is why I never wanted you around Kaya._

"Stop saying my name," she exclaimed in agitation. "Stop looking at me like I'm broken."

"We're not," Finn said defensively.

"Listen to me, both of you." She stood between them and glaring at them. "No matter what happens, if I decide to kill myself the next second or go on a rampage, there's nothing that you can do. It's my choice and I'll know what to do. I can handle it. Do you understand?"

Bellamy frowned but nodded. "Okay, we get it. If you're fine, go outside and help out build the wall for the camp. We need as much as people as possible. And don't lag, or else you're in cleaning duty."

She shot him a disgusted look. "I hate men," she said, more to herself.

"Technically I'm the only man here," Bellamy reminded her.

"That's a matter of opinion," she said in a deathly voice._ I'm going to murder you one day._

Shooting one last loathing look to the guys that stood in front of her, she walked opened the tent flap and left. She could hear Bellamy say something to Finn that sounded a lot like if she was crazy.

She hoped to be away from them would lessen her frustration but being out of the tent, didn't really help. Outside, there was a mixture of emotions from the delinquents, some were scared of the death of Wells, fearing that the grounders would come any moment and kill someone else. And then there were others that we're happy for his death as if killing him was a way to pay back what the Chancellor did to them.

Kaya glance uneasily at them, uncomfortable how some of them were undisturbed by a death. But she didn't want to think of them, she just needed to get away from Finn and look for Octavia. She went to the dropship, hoping she would be there.

* * *

When Kaya stormed off from the tent, that left Finn and Bellamy in an uncomfortable silence. They stood there, not sure what to do, never have been left alone. It was obvious they didn't like each other for their own reasons; Finn didn't like Bellamy for having an unfair ruling and Bellamy didn't like Finn because he kept getting in his way to control the delinquents. Finn glanced at Bellamy and then around the tent.

"This is yours?" Finn finally asked. His voice sounded loud, echoing off the thin walls of the tent.

"Yeah," he said in his gruff voice. He didn't elaborate more, just looked at him without an expression.

Finn nodded to himself and cleared his throat, edging away from him. "I'm going to go," he said, jerking his head to outside. When he didn't get an answer, Finn headed to the tent flap.

"Is she really okay?" asked Bellamy, making Finn stop and begrudgingly turn around.

"Why do want to know?" Finn asked wearily. "Since when do you give a crap about her?"

Bellamy looked annoyed. "I'm an asshole of a leader but I'm not a horrible people. I do worry about them. Especially to those who find a dead body."

"She's fine, for now," Finn said after a few seconds of internal debating.

"For now?" Bellamy raised his eyebrow.

Finn shrugged. "She's like that. One second she's fine, the other... she's not. It's always going to be like that."

"Then why do you worry about her, if it's normal?"

"Sometimes..." Finn started slowly, unsure how to explain Kaya, who wasn't complicated at all. She was actually simple but it was difficult to explain something that he had known for a really long time. "... she's not fine but she gets over it quickly but sometimes, when she's not fine, it takes a long time and that leads to bad things."

"Like scars?" Bellamy guessed. Finn's head snapped towards his direction, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. Bellamy looked surprised at his reaction.

"Yeah, like that. How did you know?"

"I saw her arms, they were full of scars. Some of them look old while others, look kind of new."

"She never lets anybody see them. You must be something..." Finn trailed off, thinking of what could have happened to have her take off her jacket. He didn't even want to think about it.

"She didn't mean to show them. It just happened."

Finn didn't ask for him to elaborate and then asked, "Where's Clarke?"

"Outside with Wells. God knows what's going over there."

Finn frowned, feeling bad for her. He wanted to go out there and support her. She must be in so much pain. He wondered what they were going to do with Wells body? Were they going to bury him like Atom and the rest? Or let his corpse rot, in vengeance for what his fathers did to the delinquents? Clarke wouldn't allow it, she would fight them.

"I'm going to go with her."

"Make sure they deal with Wells," Bellamy ordered, sending a wave of irritation through Finn.

"Yeah, let's _deal_ with Clarke's best friend," Finn muttered bitterly.

"You know what I mean." Bellamy rolled his eyes and walked over to him. "I just mean if we don't do something with Wells body, some of the others will try and do something with his body. And, well, that's not going to sit well with Princess."

Finn looked at him unimpressed, making Bellamy sigh in frustration.

"Look, I'm an asshole leader, but not an asshole person. I do think about others. Especially about my people, including Kaya and even Wells, despite everything. I want to take care of them."

"You didn't like Wells. Or Clarke, where's the sympathy?"

"No, I didn't," Bellamy agreed with a grim smile. "He reminded me a lot of his father, who I hate for floating my mother and arresting my sister but like I said, asshole leader."

"Wow... that was unexpected, you caring, totally not believable but whatever, I'll make sure that Wells is dealt with. Is that all?" he said sourly.

"You can go now, Spacewalker."

Finn glared at him and using all his self-control, he walked out of the tent, hating Bellamy more than anything in the world. He scanned the perimeter and was disappointed her couldn't see Kaya. She clearly wasn't helping out build the wall, which made him feel a smug satisfaction. Looks like not everybody listened to Bellamy.

"Finn."

He looked around and then saw Clarke from the other side of the camp, with a heartbroken expression. He offered her a supportive smile and started heading her way. Unlike Kaya, Finn decided to follow his order from Bellamy, about Wells. He hopped to give Clarke the comfort that she needed. At least she would appreciate him worrying.

* * *

It was almost dark and she had successfully avoided Finn. But she hadn't been able to get rid of the others. It was strange for her to be in the middle of the attention. All the delinquents would come up to her, some asking if she was okay, while others, the most demented, would ask her how it felt like to fall on the body of the despised Wells.

She had never felt like hitting ever in her life, knowing that violence never leads to anything good. But in that moment when that delinquent asked her if she enjoyed feeling Wells blood on her, she wanted to hurt him, making him regret his words. But instead, she pressed her lips tightly, her knuckles turning white, she turned around and went to a secluded area, where no one would get to her, ask how she was or what it felt to see a dead body.

Then, after three hours, Kaya got up when she heard Clarke's voice, and drawn to what was going on, she quietly followed them. It was a difficult to watch, how heartbroken Clarke looked as she watched saw her best friend for the last time. Despite her anguish, Clarke spoke in a strong, commanding voice when she ordered Finn to place Wells head carefully.

"Monty! Watch it!" Clarke's voice cracked at the end, threatening to start crying any moment.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "Like this?"

"Just, hold on—let me do it." Finn's voice floated up. "Just go with Clarke."

"No, Finn," she snapped. "There need to be two people. Monty stays right there."

Kaya observed Clarke boss around Finn and Monty be careful with Wells body as they lowered him down to his grave, they had dug. She was hidden behind large tree branches that were hanging low, not wanting to be seen by either Finn, who would make her away, or Clarke, afraid of what she would say to her.

"That's enough, just go," Clarke ordered them away. "Leave me alone."

"What about a thank you, Clarke? They did help you with your dead best friend," Kaya muttered. Finn and Monty looked at each other, thinking the same thing.

She silently backed away and turned around, going back to where she has spent the entire day, a remote area where it was enough from anybody finding her but close enough she can run to in case a Grounder appears. She slid down the floor and rested her head against a tree. She picked her nails, deep in thought, trying to get her head cleared.

Kaya stiffened when she felt someone sink next to her. She moved her head to see who the intruder was and relaxed when it was just Finn. "How did you find me?"

"Earth skills. You made it easy. You stepped on a lot of branches and are kinda loud."

She nodded thoughtfully, picking a broken branch from the floor and twirling it in front of her. "I'll do better next times," she vowed. _You'll never find me again._

"How about there isn't the next time?" he said lightly. "I would ask why you were avoiding me but I know already. You think I'm an asshole."

"I think," she corrected him, "you're incredibly annoying and I don't understand what has gotten into you."

"I guess I can't handle this new found freedom," he said wearily.

"No you can't," she agreed with him. "It's gotten to your head. And it's incredibly annoying, you know how I feel about you being overbearing, we've talked about it like about a thousand times and I feel like I am not exaggerating the amount. I have to deal with my problems and to deal with you being so suffocating."

"I get that you need your space, everybody does but I do this because I care about you, you're my friend, my _best _friend."

"I know. Somehow we're best friends," she muttered.

"Sometimes, I feel like you don't want me around. Like it's a drag having me as a friend."

"I don't want you right now but I'm always going to want you around. Like you said, we're best friends. I do like having you around." She wasn't lying. When they were in the Ark, being around him send her a thrill when they would sneak around places. But that was before she felt this awful sensation of loneliness and exhaustion.

"Why do you do that? You say that you want me around but then you push me away. Why don't you see that I worry about you because we're friends, more than just friends actually."

"Because you were gone for three years and I had to get used to being alone," she told him. "I don't want to get used to being around me and then the next month you'll be gone. I need to learn how to be by myself."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"You can't say that. Wells is dead. And you could be next. Or Clarke, or Octavia or Jasper, or even me. You can't say that no one is going nowhere."

Finn sighed heavily. "Don't be like that. Everything is going to be okay."

"Whatever Finn. If you say so. I'm going to go." Kaya shook her head and got up.

He didn't argue and let her go, saying a simple wave of goodbye.

Back in the camp, Kaya dodged the delinquents that passed her, all running around, having things to do. Looking over her shoulder, she stopped moving and frowned when she saw Finn. He was talking to Octavia, who frowned for a second but nodded forcefully. Kaya twisted her mouth in displeasure, having a feeling that they were talking about her.

She hadn't realized that she had been standing in the middle of a passing zone when a guy bumped into her, who was carrying a large log. She flinched at the hard contact.

"Watch it," the guy grunted.

"Sorry," she said, rubbing her shoulder.

"Yeah well, next time you shouldn't be standing in the middle of the camp, alright?" he snapped, glaring over her shoulder.

"I said I was sorry," she gritted, her patience thin from dealing with difficult people. "Stop being such an asshole about it."

"Dammit—What the..." He had stopped walking and turned around to snap at her when he stopped and looked at her carefully. "Shit sorry. You're Kaya, aren't you? The one that found Wells?"

Kaya internally sighed and probably externally too. "Yeah, I'm Kaya," she said grudgingly.

"Sorry for snapping at you. Lifting things make me angry," he said halfheartedly. She looked at him unimpressed, still rubbing her shoulder. His eyes darted to her jacket, that was stained with Wells dried blood. "You should wash it."

"Yeah I should," she agreed, picking the fabric between her fingers, hardened by the dried blood. "But, later, I don't have anything to clean it with."

"Hold on..." The guy put the stick to the side and pulled out something from his pocket. He extended his arm to her. Kaya eyed him warily, not sure whether to trust him.

"It's for the blood," he explained when he saw her expression. Still unsure but she opened her palmed and let him drop whatever he had in her hand. It felt soft and peered curiously, seeing it was small piece soap.

"Where did you get this?" She probed the soap with curiosity. It was such a long time since she seen one. Back in the Drop Box they washed their clothes and brought them clean the next day.

"Me and some other guys raided the dropship and found a few things. Not a lot but some are useful. Like that. It can help get rid of the stain or some of it."

"Thank you." She pocketed it the soap in her jacket.

"I'm Ezra," he introduced himself and offered her his hand, making her take a reluctant step closer to him and shake his hand. He had a cold, rough hand and a firm grip. Kaya didn't bother introducing herself, he already knew her name. Looking him closely, noticing his black hair, pale skin, and colored eyes, something about him flicker in the back of her head.

"You look kind of familiar."

"Maybe because you kinda know me," he said with a slight smile.

"No I don't," she shook her head. "... wait, I do?" She stared at him blankly. Internally she was freaking out. She could not know him, despite looking familiar, she was sure she'd never talked to her before.

He cleared his throat, shoving his hands inside his jeans. "Well, not really but yeah. You do kinda know me. We had classes together back in the Ark until you got arrested."

She scrunched her face, trying to remember him but nothing about him was familiar despite thinking she had seen him before. "We didn't talk, didn't we?"

"No, we didn't," he reassured her. "So don't worry. But I talked to Finn though. Briefly."

"Everybody talked to Finn." She smiled, remembering him getting in trouble for talking to every person that he got assigned. In the end, he would be with her because she was the only one that didn't encourage him to talk.

"True," he nodded with a slight smile. She flushed when she saw how his smile made his eyes crinkled in a very attractive way. Unconsciously, she clenched her fists, trying to stay calm. "And not a lot of people talked to you, I remember that."

She felt awkward as the conversation progressed, unsure if it was because she didn't know him or because he was really attractive. He was friendly but she didn't want to continue talking to him.

"Ezra. Stop flirting and get the hell over here!" someone hollered from afar. "Get your lazy ass over here!"

Ezra's face flushed pink, embarrassed by the comment. He looked over his shoulder and yelled, "I'm going. Hold on!" She looked around, hoping no one was looking at them. He looked at her and gave her a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry about that but..."

She nodded in understanding. "I'll leave you alone. I have to go anyways."

He blinked and nodded quickly. "Oh yeah, me too. Bye and uh, I'm sorry about what happened to you. You know finding Wells body. That must have been rough." He pulled out his hands from his jeans and waved at her

She didn't say anything and watch him grab the log he had initially been caring and went back to his business. She turned around and started walking away when Octavia appeared to her side.

"Who's that? He's really hot," grinned Octavia, looking back to get a good look at him. "In the lanky kind of way hot."

"That's Ezra." _Did he mention his last name? No, he didn't? Or did he? Maybe I should...? No_—_that means I have to talk to him again. And see his green eyes again._

"Nice," Octavia grinned, looking slightly like a maniac with her a little too wide smile and crazy eyes. "So what happened?"

"He bumped into me, then talked to me and then left." Octavia raised her eyebrows, waiting for more. She avoided her gaze and went toward where the water was, feeling incredibly thirsty.

"That's it?" Octavia gave her an exasperated look. "God Kaya, are you that clueless? Not even I'm like that and I was very sheltered."

_No, I'm not clueless but I don't want to talk about it._ "Wait, do you mean if I'm interested in him?" she asked dumbly.

"Well, duh." Octavia smacked her shoulder. "And don't say no, because that's a big lie. I saw your face. You were super into him despite what you would say."

"My f-face?" she stammered. "What about it?" _If I was red, I will probably just_—

"You looked kinda happy about his attention and then you looked lost but then you looked fine. I couldn't really see his face but he seemed to feel the same."

_It's been a while since I've been happy._ Kaya looked back to Ezra and felt flustered when she saw him looked at her. He gave her a wave, and being nudged harshly by Octavia, she gave him a weak smile. He looked away and went back to do whatever he was doing.

"I don't really know him. Should I really be seeing him as a something? He's a delinquent, I have no idea what he did to get arrested."

"Hello?" She waved around her camp, almost hitting Kaya in the face. "Everybody here is a delinquent."

"Yeah but some of them were arrested for murder, assault, rape or all of the above or some of the above. One of the fears that I had here, besides being killed by radiation, was dealing with one of those delinquents. If he turns out to be one of those psychos and decides to attack me, I won't be able to defend myself from him. He's going to kill me."

"That can happen but I'll make sure my brother doesn't let anything happen to you. He'll protect you."

_He better. I'm not wasting my time on him for nothing. _"It doesn't matter Octavia. Some of them were arrested for really bad things."

"And some of them were arrested because they literally stepped over the line. You can't be picky. The only guy, or person in the matter, who's not a delinquent is Bellamy but seriously, any other person is better than my brother."

Kaya pressed his lips into a thin line. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, Ezra is cute," she admitted, remembering his smile and eyes and hair. She swallowed and nodded. "I'll keep it mind if he talks to me again but he probably won't, I kinda acted like an idiot."

Octavia face fell in disappointment but brightened. "But he will," she said eagerly. "You're really cute and have a lot to offer, he'll definitely talk to you. And when he does, you'll know what to do."

"Let's wait until we cross the bridge but um... what are you doing here anyway?" She decided to change the subject.

Octavia froze, her eyes flashing and gave her a forced shrug. "Nothing. What are you doing?"

She looked up at the sky, a mixture of pink and orange. "It's getting dark so I'm going to head into my tent. Call it a day and lay down."

"Oh, you have a tent?" Octavia looked surprised. "I thought—uh, well that, you told me that, uh—"

"Finn made it," Kaya explained, knowing what Octavia was trying to avoid saying Wells name.

"Oh, that's great," Octavia nodded, her eyes trained on Kaya's shoulder. She looked over her shoulder hesitantly and looked back at Kaya, who raised her eyebrow in confusion. "So are you going to sleep?"

"Uh, not necessarily, I just want to get away from people. They have been talking to me, asking about how it felt like finding a dead Wells."

Octavia nodded and shoved her hands into her jacket, moving her body around uncertainly. "Can I...?" She stopped and cleared her throat. "Can I stay with you?"

"Why?" She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, in her head recalling Finn and Octavia talking.

"Well, seeing Wells kinda freak me out and because you're my only friend, I really want to be with someone."

Kaya knew she was lying about being freaked out. Octavia was tough, she wouldn't get shaken up by someone's death. "Go to Bellamy," she said flatly. "He's your brother, he'll know what to do."

"No," she said quickly. "You're a girl. And girls get each other. And I really enjoyed last night, it was nice. Please let me spend the night. I really need to have someone's support."

Kaya looked up the sky and marveled how beautiful it looked. She wasn't used to the sight of the extensive space and colors. She wouldn't do anything stupid that put her in jeopardy for losing this paradise. But she felt tired, physically and mentally, and arguing with Octavia would only drain her. "Fine, you can spend the night in my tent."

"Thank you," chirped Octavia, making Kaya roll her eyes. She knew they were friends but it was strange having her around her. But then again, any human interaction was strange for her.

A loud whoop made them look over to see the delinquents running around. Because the sun had officially set down, everybody had stopped working and decided to just hang out. Torches were lit up to make up for the absent light.

"Do you really want to go inside, it's still early and everybody is outside making noise?" Octavia said in a hopeful voice.

"I guess we can—" Octavia didn't let her finish. Not wasting a second, afraid that she might change her mind, she grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her to a small group, that had a few people that she had seen before.

"Hey guys," Octavia grinned at the group that was mostly guys. "What's going on?"

She joined the conversation immediately while Kaya lingered back, half-listening. Octavia still had a grip on her arm and yanked her down. They were all in a circle and some were sitting down on the floor while others, like Octavia and Kaya, were on logs.

"Who are you looking for?" Octavia whispered, leaning into her.

"What?" Kaya looked at her in confusion.

"You keep looking around. Who are you looking for?"

"I didn't realize," she admitted quietly.

Octavia shrugged and went back to the conversation. Kaya sighed in relief, using all her self-control to not look at anywhere but the group of people that were in front of her. She actually very aware that she had been looking around, she was just embarrassed to admit who she was looking for.

Not being part of the conversation, her mind had been skipping around subjects and then somehow landed on Ezra and that left her wondering where he could be. At first, she had simply scanned the place, trying to ease her curiosity. But then, bored from the conversation that she wasn't following, Kaya started looking for him.

So far she had found four Ezra look alike from behind, a flirty Bellamy with a girl, and no real Ezra. And she had also seen Finn and Clarke come from the forest, deep in conversation.

_I have been down that road before_, she told herself, pinching her arm as a harsh reminder. _And already knows how it ended._

Deciding to occupy herself from thinking those embarrassing thoughts, she joined the conversation. She was surprised how she enjoyed herself talking. She had always been the shy kind, letting the others speak for her at times. But that night, she spoke her opinion.

"So what's the thing you hate about the Ark the most Kaya?" a girl from the group asked her, in an attempt to get her involved in the conversation.

Kaya smiled at her effort and took a chance. "Well, there isn't really a thing I hate about the Ark especially. Everything that is enforced there is to keep us alive, despite how unfair and stupid it is."

"You got to hate something," she argued. "No one likes the Ark."

"I do hate... But it's more of _someone_ than something I hate."

"Wow, who hurt you?" asked someone from the group in a teasing voice. "Who is it?"

"My dad," she admitted and was surprised at her honesty. "I really hate him. He made my life miserable back in the Ark. Deprived me of having a good life. It's his fault I was arrested. His fault that I was in a cell for three years. It's wasn't the Chancellors fault, it was his. Everything is his fault." _It's his fault I don't have a mom. He could have done more to save her, _she added to herself.

"I hate my dad too. He was a jackass," the girl offered.

Kaya touched her cheek and felt it warm from her pent up anger. She shut down immediately when she saw everybody look at her with a mixture of pity and sympathy, two things she was sick of tired of receiving all day. She avoided Octavia's drilling stare and realized that she should stop talking. The attention was too much.

"Um, what about you?" She nodded to the girl, hoping to keep them occupied. "What do you hate?"

The conversation continued its flow and the group's attention moved on from Kaya. As time passed, the amount of delinquents outside started thinning out as they all headed to their tents. It was cold outside and the fire was dying out and the nerves of the grounders were an encouragement for them to get inside. The group that was once been about seven went to three.

They were still talking about what they hate about the Ark, Octavia getting carried away with her deep hatred about the one-child rule, which was understandable. Kaya hadn't really put an input, not really having something specific of what she hated. She disliked a few things but nothing enough for her to wish death. Even her own father, she still wanted to him to live and suffer for the rest of his life.

"... And seriously? What the fuck? I was just so trying to—" Octavia exhaled in annoyance.

"I'm going to head in," she announced, heaving herself from the log that she had been sitting for the past three hours. "I'm super tired and it's late. Finding a dead body really gets to you," she attempted to joke, that earned a laugh from the guy that was sitting on the floor.

"That's funny. You're funny, Kay."

She forced a smile, feeling strange that someone was using her nickname that used to be only used by Finn. It was nice actually, it made her feel like she belonged. "I try."

"Wait." Octavia scrambled up, almost tripping. "Hold on—I'll go with you."

Kaya tried to bite back a groan of frustration. She had hoped that Octavia would have forgotten about staying with her but apparently she hadn't. Why did she always get stuck with the clingy ones?

"But aren't you talking to... him?" She pointed to a guy that he been left, while the rest had left. "You're going to leave him alone."

"Actually, that's okay," he said. "I'm kinda tired, so I'm going to head it. Good night."

Octavia turned to her and grinned. "Great, I'm so tired. Let's go. Where's the tent?"

Kaya's new tent was like Octavia's, except it was much smaller. When they laid down next to each other, there was an inch of space between the two girls, while in Octavia's tent they had an arm length of space. Kaya didn't mind the size, she was glad that it was small. She knew that Finn did it on purpose, for her benefit.

Silently, both of them found laid down on the floor. Kaya body was tired but her mind was wide alert. picking her nails while Octavia was silently looking at her.

"Want to know a secret?" Kaya asked Octavia.

"Yeah." Octavia nodded eagerly, turning her head to the side, to look at her. "What is it?"

"You know that I kinda agree with your brother in most things?"

"Yeah, why do you? Wait..." Octavia sat up and looked at her in shock. "You don't like him, do you? Is that the secret?"

"No. That's not it." Kaya shook her head, feeling uncomfortable at the assumption. "I was going to say that I'm only nice to your brother because I was told the best way to survive is to be on the good side of the people who had the power. Everybody listens to Bellamy, maybe because they fear him or respect him, it doesn't matter. He's a safety net. And it really helps that he like girls."

"Oh my God," Octavia gasped, looking disgusted. "Did you have sex with him? Oh my, God, that's—"

"No," Kaya said quickly. "I just hooked up with him, with no sex."

Octavia instantly relaxed but wrinkled her nose in displeasure. "That's good but still gross. I seriously wouldn't know what to do if you had sex with him. But, seriously, no sex?" Kaya nodded slowly. "That's strange. Like really strange. When did you hook up?"

"Um, about the second day here," she said hastily, remembering them against a rock. She remembered how cold the water was and how he gripped her hips.

"Seriously?" Octavia's eyes widened comically. "Okay, something's not right."

"Why?"

"He's not the kind of guy who doesn't just kiss, he's the guy who goes for sex, that's his thing. Like how many times he left me and my mom to his study dates. It really irritated my mom, afraid he might get a girl pregnant. It's strange, I mean, especially the whole you and Bellamy no sex situation."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kaya asked in alarm.

"What if he's up to something? Lately, everything he does is to get people on his side. Maybe you should be careful. He has sex and then moves on. He never waits, so he's probably using you for something."

She remembered when he requested for her to persuade Finn and that moment felt incredibly stupid. "You know that's what Finn told me. He says that I shouldn't expect more from him and I don't but he doesn't understand."

"That's how Bellamy is. Always being overprotective."

"Yeah, no." She shook her head, disagreeing. "That's coming from your brother. With Finn is slightly different, where he comes from. Less brotherly."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it comes to his former crush on me," she admitted. "He always got like aggressive when it comes to guys. He does not lie it for a guy to have interest with me."

Octavia choked on air and looked at her in shock. "_Finn, _as in your best friend Finn use to like you? As in had romantic feelings for you?"

Kaya nodded seriously. "Yeah, when we were like twelve. He developed a huge crush on me. He was kind of obvious about it, thought I didn't know about it. But come on, if a boy kissed you when you're eleven and says it was because he wanted to have his first kiss with you is a huge red flag."

"Hold on. Hold on. Finn—who is very cute, may I add—had a crush on you when you were younger and you didn't do anything about it? Seriously, Kaya, what is wrong with you?"

"I didn't—never had a feeling for him. I don't like him that way and besides, there was a gi—uh, yeah, I never liked him."

"Does he know that you knew?"

"No. I don't think he knows."

"Why didn't you ever do something about it? If you didn't like him, you could have told him."

"I hated confrontation and I kind believed that if I ignored his feelings they would go away. Ever heard the saying out of sight out of mind?"

Octavia narrowed her eyes suspiciously and Kaya just gave her a smile. She was this close of saying that she never really did anything about Finn's crush because there was a girl that would hang out with them and had feelings for them.

"So... Finn had a crush on you and you passed it off because you didn't like him?"

"That's exactly what happened. He's just my best friend but I will guiltily admit when I was younger I would exploit those feelings for him to do things."

"No, you didn't." Octavia shook her head in disbelief.

"You would be surprised what he does for the people who he loves. I don't do that anymore by the way. I realized it was wrong and also because I couldn't because I was arrested," she added the last part quietly.

"You're really good with you getting guys to do things for you," observed Octavia, sounding slightly impressed. "Finn is at your bidding and Bellamy seems to worry about you. Maybe because he hopes that will get sex from you or something."

"Good," Kaya nodded satisfied. "That's what I wanted. If that's okay with you, of course."

"You're playing my brother for your own benefit," Octavia nodded, giving her an approving smile. "I'm glad you are. He deserves to be taken down a notch."

"I'm glad you approve. I thought you would be mad."

"Who would have thought you were manipulative?" She was quite for a while and that made Kaya think she fell asleep when she spoke up. "Finn was the one who suggested for me to spend the night."

Kaya looked at the ceiling. "I know."

"What—? Seriously? Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't really know but I suspected. Why did you do it? Is it because you want Finn to like you or he bribed you?"

"No," Octavia yelped, sitting up and looking at her. "H-He's just worried about you, he mentioned how you were resisting his help, being all alone and that got me worried and I agreed. He just wants to make sure you're fine. I really hope you're not mad."

"I'm not," she admitted. "But I wish you would have told me."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't do Finn's bidding again or else I won't speak to you again."

"I-I'm sorry."

Kaya shrugged and shifted around in her place. The jacket restricted her too much and after moving around, not getting comfortable, she took it off and balled it up, using it as a pillow. She could feel Octavia's eyes drilling on the back of her head. The tent wasn't completely dark, the light from the fire of outside shined inside, allowing Octavia to see things she shouldn't see.

"Well, that's it. That's the secret. Goodnight." She laid down and put her back to Octavia.

"Kaya, hold on...—"

"Goodnight Octavia," she said firmly. "If you want to say talk, then get out."

"Will you at least talk to me tomorrow?" Octavia's voice was hopeful, making Kaya exhale and nod her head curtly. "Promise?"

That's when Kaya chosed to ignore Octavia protest and tried to go to sleep but couldn't, the tension of the room wouldn't allow her. She felt restless and tired, making her want to scream in frustration. The entire day, she had spent reassuring Finn and even herself that she was fine, but laying down in the dark, she felt awful. What the hell was she going to do with herself?

_One-hundred. Ninety-nine. Ninety-eight... _She squeezed her eyes shut and hoped to keep herself calm, ignoring the painful feeling she felt in her chest, the one that left a hollow feeling inside of her, that no matter what she did it never went away. _Eighty-seven. Eighty-six. Eighty-five..._

* * *

**Here's the chapter that made my life difficult for a while, hope it turned out well. Thank you so much for the reviews, follows and everything. It means so much.**

**Also, I have one important question: what do you think of Thomas? Do you like him? Or find him irrelevant? I really want to hear your opinion on him so I know in the future what to do with him, like when Raven goes to Earth****.**

**Disclaimer, I don't own The 100, only my OC's. (Any errors that appear I will go back and fix them)**


	9. Expect Chaos

**I'm sorry for the long wait but many things happened (school, break, I got sick, started a new story, etc.) and to be honest, another reason it took a long time was because my loss of interest in season 3 but I'm back, ready to continue.**

**Happy readings :)**

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Expect Chaos**

* * *

It had taken precisely Wick one day to give Thomas his answer instead of an afternoon. In his optimist side, Thomas had taken it a sign that Wick had gone above and beyond to get a regulated pressure but his realistic side told him the opposite.

It was rare when Thomas felt defeated. He always was optimistic of things, despite how impossible they seemed. He was optimistic that Kaya and the rest of the delinquents were alive. He was optimistic that Raven would fix the pod and launch safely.

But somehow hearing that Wick couldn't find the regulated pressure, send a cold wave across his body, making him want to throw up. Wick apologized and said he could keep trying but Thomas dismissed him. He didn't want to get Wick in trouble or more involved than necessary.

He walked away from the architect station, blinded by everything. Even when he ran into Jane again by casualty, he didn't even bother being polite. He blatantly ignored her and walked toward his next shift. It gave him enough time to clear his head before he gave the news to a hopeful Raven.

"There's a problem," was the first thing Raven told him when he walked in the room.

"Yeah. There is," he admitted. He looked over his shoulder and saw that Abby was there, looking grave. He looked at the two woman cautiously. "And something tells me it's not about the regulated pressure. What's going on?"

"There's been a change of plans."

And at the grim expressions that both wore, Thomas knew that it wasn't good.

"What's wrong?" he asked. Raven and Abby exchanged glances. At the nod of Abby, Raven turned to Thomas and motioned her to follow him.

"What the hell is going on Raven?" he demanded when they were out of the room.

She smiled grimly and admitted, "So much that I don't even know where to start."

"Yeah well, let's go to the important. Regulated pressure. So I went to talk to my friend and—"

She waved him to stop talking. "No, it's fine, Abby is handling it." She paused, remembering something, added, "Thank you, though. I know you're not really working to be helping me with all of this."

"Are you serious?" Thomas asked in disbelief. "All of this suffering for nothing? Dammit. Now I have to go back and tell him not to bother."

Raven gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry Thomas but trust me, it's better this way. You won't get in trouble, plus it's faster."

Thomas heaved a sighed and rubbed his face. "There isn't much job anyways. And even if I get fired, would it matter? We're all gonna die anyways."

"No, we won't," Raven said fiercely. "I have a plan. _We _have a plan to save everybody."

"Yeah, alright," he snorted, not believing her. "So what now? You have the stupid piece and you say there's a lot of shit happening."

Raven opened her mouth and closed it. She looked around the hall and tugged his sleeves and he reluctantly followed her.

"Come on Thomas. I need to tell you something important," she muttered, looking over her shoulder, to make sure no one was following him.

Her vague words and suspicious behavior made Thomas looked at her warily, already expecting the worst. And he was not disappointed when Raven started explaining what she had discussed with Abby and the complications they were running to.

"Are you crazy?" he shouted, not sure whether he wanted to hit himself in the head or strangle Raven. He knew that Raven was impulsive but what she had just suggested to him was something a mentally ill person would come up with.

"Come on Thomas," Raven reason with him, her voice desperate. "You promised you would help and now it's your turn to step up to the plate."

He shook his head, not caring if he looked like a coward. "No. I'm not—I'm not. Just because you and Abby are really desperate doesn't mean I am. "

"Look Abby got the part, does it matter? The rest is going to just—"

"Raven, stop." Thomas halted her with his hand, frustrated that Raven still didn't get it. He grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"No Thomas, you need to—"

"Raven stop and listen."

Raven still didn't stop and continued arguing. "Thomas we don't have time, you heard—"

"Yeah I heard fine, but don't you see? How crazy is this? You're doing this so fast and kinda carelessly that you're not seeing the danger of all of this."

"Yes, I am. Fail, we die. Easy as that. Now let me go, we don't have time."

Thomas pressed his lips tightly and still held on to her. "There's nothing easy of death Raven. You're putting on the line a lot."

"Finn and Kaya are all I have. They're down there, on Earth and I have a chance to do something and if you don't see how much this is to me then get the hell out of my way," Raven told him harshly. He looked at her uneasily, making her soften and try again. "Come on Thomas, this is just nerves. Everything is going to be okay."

"Yeah, whatever you say," he mumbled. He followed her, still unconvinced of what they were doing. Thomas had a hard time not glaring at Abby when they meet up with her.

"Did you catch him up?" she asked Raven.

"Yes, and Dr. Griffin, if I can object," Thomas started but was cut off by Abby.

"You do understand that if I'm not here when Raven is going to launch, you will take my place?"

"Are you—you serious?" he stuttered, his eyes darting nervously between the two women. "I thought Raven was kidding."

"Yes, Thomas," Abby said impatiently and gripped his shoulder. "You're going with Raven, I need you to be there with her. There needs to be an authority..."

Thomas gaped, his mouth dry, unable to argue. A swirling pit had grown in his stomach, making him want to throw up. He didn't want to go to Earth. He didn't want to die. He was afraid of all the possibilities. He wasn't as brave like Abby or Raven.

_Fuck my life, _he thought. In that moment, he finally understood how the delinquents felt when they were forced to go down to Earth. Pure utter terror and a small amount of excitement but mostly fear.

"Thomas? Are you listening? Do you understand?" Abby pressed on.

His mind went back to the first time he met Kaya. How angry and afraid she had been, and that he had assured her that everything was going to be okay. That day, Thomas promised himself that he was going to prove her right, that everything would be okay.

"Thomas?" Raven said quietly.

_Stop being a coward,_ he told himself. Finding his voice, he nodded solemnly.

"Yes, I understand. I'll accompany Raven, I promise you."

* * *

For the past few minutes, Octavia had been staring at her, not saying a word. That had been what woke Kaya. Not the noise. Not the hard ground. Not the heat that was coming from inside the tent. It was the penetrating stare from the girl.

"Okay, that's it." Kaya sat up, pushing her blanket to the side and turning her body towards Octavia, who immediately sat up. "Get up, say it."

"What? No, I haven't—"

"You won't say it then I will." She extended her arms in front of Octavia, allowing her to see her scarred arms. "Which one?"

"Wha—what—?" stammered Octavia, trying to looks anywhere but her.

"Pick one and I will tell you how I felt that day and why I did it."

Octavia's eyes opened in shock and slight horror. "No, that's fine—"

"Don't be like that. You're dying to know so I'll tell you. Just this once."

Hesitantly, Octavia got closer to her and looked at Kaya's jagged scars. She examined her arms and picked her right arm, a scar that was near her wrist. "That one."

Kaya glanced at it briefly, her mind recalling what had caused her to press a blade to create that messy line. She flinched when she touched it.

"Kaya?" Octavia said hesitantly.

"I was twelve," she started, "and my dad had left me alone in the apartment, locking me inside, saying that he was off to do something and that I shouldn't do anything. When he left, I tried to get out but I couldn't. He had jammed the door. He was gone for five days. I was stuck there for five days, the food ran out on the third day and only because I didn't get hungry that much."

"Oh my God... Kaya," Octavia whispered, horrified.

Kaya felt a weight on her shoulder when she spoke why she did it. Finn liked to pretend they didn't exist while Raven was oblivious to their existence and she knew that Thomas at times wanted to ask about them but was too afraid of ruining their flimsy relationship.

"Pick another one."

She shook her head. "No, that's fine. I don't—"

"Another one. This isn't just about you," Kaya said, her voice cracking in the end. Octavia watched for a second and then shakily pointed to her longest scar.

"That one I got when it was my fifteenth birthday. I was in a fit that day. When Thomas dropped off my lunch I threw it across the wall when he left. I just wanted to scream in anger and frustration. I grabbed the fork, and carelessly slit my arm until I stopped. When Finn came to visit he freaked out, going on and on about what the hell was wrong with me. I didn't listen to him, the only thing I could focus was in the blood. It was always the blood that kept me going."

"That's horrible but... who's Thomas?" Octavia asked blankly. Kaya blinked and looked at her, remembering that she was there.

"He was a guard in the dropbox," she explained and smiled fondly. "He was very popular among the delinquents, actually. Don't know why he was kinda annoying. You seriously never met him?"

Octavia shook her head. "I was in solitary confinement, I didn't get to see people, not even when they would drop off my food." She laughed bitterly. "Even when everybody found out about me, I didn't get a chance to meet new people. Just moved from one small place to slightly bigger place."

"That must have been horrible," Kaya said.

Octavia shrugged. "I'm used to it. The only people I knew before I was arrested was my mom and Bellamy. Being in my cell was a vast improvement, from where I would hide, it was so tiny, I had to curl up tightly to even fit."

Kaya closed her eyes, feeling horrible. She couldn't imagine how Octavia managed all those years without interacting people, being stuck inside a whole while everybody moved around.

"You're strong," she insisted.

"No, I'm not," Octavia scoffed, looking at the floor in defeat. "I'm so naive and almost got myself killed the first day we were here down on Earth."

"So did Jasper, Clarke, and pretty much everybody else. We're all naive. We're just teenagers."

"Sure," Octavia said, not believing her. "But that doesn't change how I'm not strong. I can't even defend myself."

Kaya grabbed her shoulder, making her look at her. "You're strong. You still manage to keep going despite everything. If you weren't caught, you would have probably spent the rest of your life hiding with only your family as people you got to see."

"What's the point of this?" Octavia said dryly.

"I mean look at you and then look at me, someone who had friends and could leave her room, was falling apart with everything. I'm just so pathetic and I—" Kaya sighed heavily, trying to keep herself calm. She rubbed her face, hoping to stop her eyes from watering. Octavia, without a warning, launched herself to her and latching on. Kaya grunted at the unexpected weight.

"You're not pathetic," Octavia said fiercely. "Everybody has problems and you're dealing with them the best you can."

She didn't know what to do but when she realized Octavia wasn't going to let go, Kaya awkwardly put her arms around the girl and hugged her. In reality, ignoring the awkwardness of the hug, it felt nice, having Octavia's comfort, it had been awhile since she was hugged by a girl. It was always Finn or Thomas. And they weren't the best when it came to making her feel better. They seemed to make things worse at times, despite their best intentions. Reluctantly, Kaya let Octavia go and gently pried her away from her.

"Thank you. I feel fine," she reassured her, and the for the first time, she truly meant it. "Come on, let's go outside."

Octavia squeezed her arm reassuringly and both girls slipped out of the tent. When Kaya was outside she took a deep breath of the morning air. She felt goosebumps elicit on her arms and that made her feel good. She looked to her right, where Octavia had been, and saw her walking towards the dropship.

"Octavia, where are you going?" she called put.

"Out," Octavia called out over her shoulder.

"Out? As in outside?" Octavia hummed and Kaya hurried up to reach her "Are you serious?" Kaya said in disbelief.

"Yeah, with Jasper," she elaborated.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I don't want Jasper to be traumatized by what happened. It was an unfortunate accident but it _was_ an accident."

"Someone murdered Wells," Kaya reminded her. "It wasn't an accident. It was done on purpose."

Octavia grimaced and nodded. "Yeah I know but it's fine, it's going to be a quick outing and then we're back, I just want to prove to Jasper that everything is okay. He needs to feel safe."

Kaya nodded doubtfully but didn't argue. Octavia had a point. "I like your perseverance," she offered.

Octavia gave her a small smile in return. "I would invite you but I don't think Finn would let you."

"No, he wouldn't," she agreed, already imagining his angry look. "Which is hypocritical of him, he always goes out but I'm not going to argue with him, it's his problem. I'm just going to stay here and maybe help out. I kinda ignored your brother order yesterday about helping out and I'm pretty sure he's crying in anger for not having someone listen to him. I feel bad; that's what I get for having sympathy."

Octavia laughed, almost gleefully. "Well, I'm gonna go and you have fun doing whatever you're going to do."

Kaya watched Octavia walked to the dropship. She also saw Finn and Clarke walking next to each other, going inside too. She frowned and bit her tongue.

"Not my problem," she reminded herself. And it wasn't. She pitied Raven but Raven was strong, she would get over Finn. Her gaze shifted towards where Bellamy was, standing apart from everyone, observing as people work and occasionally going to help when something bad happened. Catching her eye, he motioned her to go over to him.

"What do you want?" she asked him when she was by his side.

"Where's Octavia going?"

_Typical Bellamy. Always demanding and unfair,_ she thought sourly but instead said, in an exasperated voice, "Do you always need to know what she's doing?"

"Answer the damn question, Kaya."

"She's going with Jasper, okay? She's checking up on him, like a good friend. But you don't have any friends so you wouldn't know."

He threw her an annoyed look. "Then why aren't you with her? Aren't you Jasper friends?"

"Because I'm not a good friend," she admitted.

"Yeah, no shit," he snorted. "You're as bad as me."

She didn't listen to what else he had to say. That moment got distracted when she saw Ezra from far away. She caught his eye and he gave her a small wave. She felt a strange sensation for him acknowledging her attention. She in returned gave him a small smile. Her small interaction with Ezra didn't go unnoticed.

"You know, he was arrested for murder," Bellamy said casually.

She whipped her head to look at him. Bellamy had followed her gaze and his lips were curled up with an egotistical smirk. "You're lying."

"Why would I lie?" he scoffed.

"Because, because—How do you know that? Did he tell you?" Kaya looked at him accusingly but felt her skin brittle of the thought of Ezra being a murderer. He _had_ acted aggressively when they bumped into each other and he was a delinquent.

Bellamy smirked, seeing her paranoia, and instead of answering her question, said, "Weren't you supposed to help out yesterday?"

She instantly forgot about Ezra and him possibly being a murderer and looked at Bellamy, giving him an apologetic smile. "I was busy..." she trailed off, trying to come up with an excuse.

He raised his eyebrow. "Busy? Doing what?"

She squirmed under his sharp gaze and gave in. "Alright, so I might have forgotten but I'm here, so what do you want me to do?"

He rolled his eyes. "Go away."

"I will, but after you tell me what to do."

"You don't have to help," he dismissed her. "We already have enough people to help."

She narrowed her eyes. "Didn't you just say a few minutes ago, that we need all the arms that we can spare."

Bellamy stopped and cocked his head. "Did I say say that?" he said with faux surprise.

"Yes. Come on Bellamy. Are you not letting me help because you think I'm too weak? Girls are strong. Not like you guys, but we are" _Unfortunately_, _I'm not one of them but they are strong. Raven is super strong but you don't know that._

"What?" he said, shooting her an irritated look. "No. No, no. Don't make it into _that_. I just mean you're not required to do anything. We're good."

"What is it with the special treatment?" she said suspiciously and then her eyes widened. "Oh my God, you're treating special because you think I'm going to snap after seeing a dead Wells. Finn got to you, didn't he? He's being a drama queen. He's always been one. In the Ark, he was so dramatic and that made him reckless."

"It wasn't because of that but thanks for the warning."

"Really? Never mind then." She still felt Bellamy bemused stare and decided to add, "You should keep an eye on him. When he's emotional, he's reckless. The stupid kind."

"Did I ever ask you why are you even friends with Finn when you don't even seem to tolerate him?" Bellamy's lips curled up in amusement.

"I love Finn," she defended herself. "But it's the truth. Now, are you going to order me or what?"

His grin dropped and sighed in resignation. "Fine, whatever, you want to work? Go over there and help that little girl over there." He pointed to a girl that looked to be about thirteen. Kaya glared at him. "She keeps trying to lift things twice her size, having you there will stop her from crushing herself."

"I get that job? Babysitting? I should have stayed in my tent," she muttered.

"You said you wanted to do something," he said in exasperation. She still looked at him in annoyance. He pinched his face in frustration and then said in a really patient voice, "I would really appreciate having you help me not have a death of a stubborn little girl on my hands. And I don't mean you." He gave her a teasing grin that earned a glare. "Okay? Great. Thank you."

"I was going to do it, I just wanted to see you suffer." She stepped back from him. "But it's still ridiculous."

He rolled her eyes. "You're so stubborn."

"I know, and that's only a fraction of my flaws."

Bellamy's lips quirked up. "Not sure if I want to see them or not."

She shrugged and that moment her attention was caught by something strange. She grimaced and said, "Uh, your right-hand man is pissing on your people."

"What?" Bellamy frowned at her. She pointed behind his shoulder and he turned around. Taking that as an opportunity to escape, she walked away from him and quickened her pace towards the little girl's direction when she saw her picking up a log that was half her size. Bellamy hadn't been kidding about her.

"Hey, hey, hold on. Let me help." She tried to stop her but got her hands slapped harshly by the younger girl.

"No. I can do it," the girl said fiercely, shooting Kaya a dirty look for even suggesting to help make her life easier.

"Trust me, no you can't," Kaya said in amusement and tugged on the log. Reluctantly the girl let it go and glared at Kaya.

"I'm not a child. I can do this."

"Charlotte, right?" The look that Kaya received from her, she took it as affirmation. "Well here on Earth, you are a child. You're the youngest here. How old are you? Twelve?"

"Thirteen," she said sourly. "I'm not a kid. If I were, they wouldn't have arrested me."

"But don't you see? Thirteen? That's still young. And anyways, we have to help each other, so shut up and help me pick this up." Charlotte glowered at her and Kaya just shot her a tight smile. When she saw that she wasn't budging, she dropped her smile and sighed. "Bellamy ordered me to help you. Sorry," she added.

The girl then relented, seeing that she didn't have an option.

"Who are you anyways?" Charlotte asked and bent down to pick up the log with Kaya. They started walking towards where the wall was being built.

"Kaya."

Charlotte looked at her and examined her. Kaya ignored her intense look and continued staring straight ahead. "I know who you are," Charlotte said after they had dropped off the log and started walking back to pick up another log.

"Yeah?" She gave her a sideways glance. Charlotte still looked at her strangely, like she had never seen someone like Kaya before.

"You're always around Bellamy. Are you his girlfriend?"

"Uh... No." Kaya looked at her curiously, wondering how the thirteen-year-old came to assume that.

"You're not? Really?" Her face looked surprised, not expecting her to deny the assumption.

"What made you think that?" Kaya asked cautiously. If Charlotte assumed that, did that mean others thought that too? She hoped not. She would rather be known as Kaya, the suicidal girl, than Kaya, Bellamy's girlfriend.

"It's kinda obvious," Charlotte said as if it _was_ the most obvious thing in the world.

Kaya stopped her and made her face her. "No, it really isn't. Please tell me what's so obvious."

"Well..." Charlotte didn't get a chance because her name was called that moment by the person who held their attention.

"Kaya." Both of them turned to see Bellamy a few behind them. "I need to talk to you," he said seriously.

"Right now?"

"Yes. Now. Alone," he added, his eyes darted to Charlotte, who kept looking at the two of them knowingly. Kaya looked at Charlotte and nodded to her to continue working and reluctantly joined him.

"What do want?" she asked when they were earshot of the little girl.

He hesitated and looked around the camp. "When you found Wells, did you... did you see anything?" he asked in a low voice.

"I saw blood."

He looked at her, exasperated. "Besides that Kaya. Did you see like a knife or... a weapon?"

"What?" She looked at him in confusion. "You mean a murder weapon?"

"Yes," he said impatiently. "Did you see anything suspicious?"

She tried to think back to that day and she could remember clearly was all the blood on her. The reminder of it made her feel dizzy and it must have shown because she felt Bellamy gripped her arm.

"Kaya, calm down. Everything is fine. I need you now."

"I'm fine," she said, her voice coming out steady.

"Kaya," Bellamy said and his tone made her skin prickle in irritation.

"I said I'm fine. Let me go." She pulled away from his grip and straightened up. "Why are you asking me all of this? Did something happen?"

Bellamy looked at her cautiously and shook his head. "Nothing. Never mind about what I said."

"Then what the hell was this about?" she huffed. "I was working and you interrupt me."

"Then go back to work," he ordered, pushing her away from him. Kaya glared at him as he walked back to his tent.

"Ass," she said under her breath. She watched Bellamy's tent for a few moments and could see that there was someone else in the tent. She squinted and realized that there was actually more than two people. "Interesting, I didn't Bellamy was into that," she said to herself.

"Hey! Are you still going to help me? Or what? Kaya?!"

Kay looked to the right and saw Charlotte waving at her impatiently. She jogged over to her and smiled teasingly.

"I thought you didn't want my help?"

Charlotte huffed and glared at her. "Well, you started helping, you're not going to bail on me now."

Kaya refrained herself from making another comment, not wanting to anger the young girl again. Between the two of them, they picked the log effortlessly and walked across the camp to drop it off with the rest.

"You fight with him," Charlotte said when they were walking back. It took a few seconds for Kaya to realize who she was referring too.

"Bellamy's a difficult person, you will discover."

"My parents fought but they loved each other," the young girl said, almost ruefully.

Kaya looked at her warily, not sure where she was getting to with her comment. Charlotte didn't say anything else and started picking woods, putting them in a pile. Kaya not wanting to press more to the matter and started helping her.

* * *

"Holy shit," a guy next to her breathed out. Kaya cringed at how uncomfortably close his voice was to her ear. Both girls had finished carrying the logs and started helping to fill the gaps that the big logs couldn't fill in the wall.

"What?" she muttered, not looking up.

"No way... I gotta see that." He dropped the log he had been holding and ran out. The log fell in Kaya's direction and she stumbled into the floor with the unexpected weight.

She grunted and push the log from her body. Kaya frowned and followed the direction where he ran off. She went back to her task.

"What's going on?" Charlotte asked when shouts were heard and people started going towards the noise.

"I don't know," Kaya shrugged and went back to her task. "A fight most definitely."

"Can I go see?" Charlotte asked her hopefully.

Kaya looked at her, surprised that she was asking for her permission. "You don't need to ask me. If you want to see the fight, then go. I'm not stopping you."

"But I'm supposed to help," she reminded her.

Kaya waved her off. "I got this. You can go, I don't want to see a stupid fight."

"I promise you tell you what is it about," Charlotte grinned at her and ran to join the others. Kaya was going to stay there and continue working but she stopped moving and tilted her head, focusing on the noise. Her eyes widened when she recognize the voices.

"You threatened to kill him," she heard a familiar voice accused. "We all heard you. You hated Wells." _Clarke_.

The other person scoffed. "Plenty of people hated Wells. His father was the Chancellor that locked us up." _Murphy._

Kaya weaved herself through the crowd and manage to find Octavia and joined her side. Everyone was circled around Clarke and Murphy as the argued.

"What's going?" she asked quietly to Octavia.

"Just watch," she answered, staring ahead. "This is going to end horribly."

Kaya wanted to ask more questions but bit her lower lip and watched the battle between Murphy and Clarke unfold.

"Yeah, but you're the only one who got in a knife fight with him."

"Yeah, I didn't kill him then, either," Murphy yelled.

"Tried to kill Jasper, too," Octavia added.

"What?" Jasper gasped in horror from behind them.

Murphy looked exasperated but Kaya could tell from his jerky movement's, he was getting desperate. "Come on. This is ridiculous. I don't have to answer to you. I don't have to answer to anyone."

"Come again?" Bellamy stepped in, displeased someone offended his power.

"Bellamy, look, I'm telling you, man. I didn't do this," Murphy pleaded.

"They found his fingers on the ground with your knife."

"Is this the kind of society that we want?" Clarke demanded. "You say there should be no rules. Does that mean that we can kill each other without… without punishment?"

"I already told you. I didn't kill anyone," Murphy insisted.

"I say we float him!" someone yelled.

"Yeah!" all the delinquents agreed.

After a while, all the voices stopped making sense for Kaya. She could hear Clarke begging and then someone else shouts for Murphy to be floated. Kaya glanced at Bellamy, who hadn't said anything. She moved up to him and touched his shoulder. He flinched at her contact but didn't glance at her way.

"Bellamy, do something," Kaya hissed. "This is getting out of hand."

He ignored her, staying in his place. Kaya hated how everything was getting out of hand. She flinched when she saw how they hit and dragged Murphy, ready to float him.

"No! Get off him!" Clarke begged. "Get off of him! Let him go! You can't do this! Get off me. No! No! You can stop this! They'll listen to you!"

"Bellamy! You should do it," someone suggested and the rest of the delinquents agreed.

"Bel-la-my! Bel-la-my!" They chanted his name, as is if taunting him that he wouldn't do it. Kaya stepped back, the noise overwhelming her. Clarke continued begging and it became more unbearable when Murphy broken voice joined her.

"Bellamy, don't do this. Don't…" Murphy begged his leader.

"Don't. Bellamy. You can't do this, Bellamy," Clarke pleaded.

_Jesus Christ Bellamy! Stop it! Don't be such a fucking coward!_ Kaya wanted to scream at him. She couldn't believe Bellamy could be easily manipulated by a bunch of teenagers.

"This is bullshit," she said, her voice drowned out by other voices. Bellamy turned around and met her stare for a fraction before going towards Murphy. Not wanting to see someone dead again, she moved through the crowd, heading to the forest, away from everybody. She wasn't going to see Murphy be hanged.

"Finn," she gasped, feeling a wave of relief wash over her when she saw him.

"What's going on? What's wrong?" he demanded, shaking her body.

"You have to stop them," she said desperately, gripping his arms. Not looking for an explanation, Finn let go of her and ran towards the camp.

Kaya stayed there, afraid that if she went immediately, she would find a dead Murphy. She heard the noise die and decided to go back. She walked in on time to see Bellamy dragging Charlotte to his tent with the Clarke and Finn in tow. Not hesitating, she followed them, slipping inside the tent.

"Bring out the girl, Bellamy!" Murphy shouted from outside. Kaya felt a strange relief at knowing that Murphy was alive but was thrown off when she saw Charlotte.

"What the hell is Charlotte doing here?" she asked.

"She's the one that killed Wells," Clarke said in a hard voice, glaring at the girl. Kaya mouth fell open and stared in disbelief at the little girl. She killed Wells?

"Why, Charlotte?" Bellamy begged, desperate for an answer.

"I was just trying to slay my demons, like you told me," Charlotte argued.

Clarke looked at Bellamy accusingly. "What the hell is she talking about?

Bellamy looked frustrated. "She misunderstood me," he gritted and looked back at the thirteen-year-old. "Charlotte, that is not what I meant."

"Bring the girl out now!" Murphy shouted.

"I think Murphy wants her," Kaya said to no one particularly.

Finn pinched her arm and hissed, "You're not helping."

"Yeah, well, I'm not helping someone who murdered Wells or anyone."

"Please don't let them hurt me," Charlotte's begged, for the first time showing the vulnerability of a thirteen-year-old.

Kaya was partially ashamed of herself that couldn't find herself to sympathize with the girl. All she could think was all the blood and how that almost made her revert to the shell of a girl she was back in the Ark. It was because of her that she found a dead body, that everyone thought she was going lose it. Besides if she was capable of killing someone, she wasn't so innocent. Sometimes age didn't matter.

Bellamy, on the other hand, was the opposite. He looked at them desperately and almost begged, "If you guys have any bright ideas, speak up."

Everybody remained silent, having nothing to offer because in reality it what they were dealing with, there was no solution. "Now you stay quiet," he scoffed.

"We could turn her in," Kaya suggested and earned a death look from Bellamy. "What? That's one bright idea."

"Shut up," he hissed.

"Those are your boys out there," Finn reminded him.

"This is not my fault," Bellamy snapped. "If she had listened to me, those idiots would still be building the wall."

"And if you hadn't told her to slay her demons, none of this would have happened," Kaya retorted. "So I guess it's everybody fault."

Bellamy shot her a vicious look. "Whose side are you on?"

"On defending the girl who killed someone to the guy was almost killed for a crime that he didn't commit, it's not that hard."

"Kaya..." Charlotte whimpered.

Kaya silenced her with her hand. "She killed Wells," Kaya reminded Bellamy. "She killed someone who didn't do anything wrong. We need to at least teach her a lesson and to everybody else who decides to murder someone."

Bellamy looked enraged at what she said. She heard Charlotte whimpered but she ignored her.

"Kaya," Finn warned under his breath.

Kaya shook her head. "No. Why should it be okay to plays favorites? She didn't hit someone. Or steal. She murdered someone. And we don't punish her, people are going to think it's okay. Bellamy, you have to—"

"Get out." Bellamy pointed to the exit of the tent.

Kaya didn't listen to him and tried again to reason with him. "Bellamy, you have to realize that she has to pay for what you did. At least—"

"Get out," he said again, not looking at her.

"Fine," she gritted and looked around the tent. No one said anything and stomped out of the tent. When she stepped out, Murphy hounded her.

"Where is she?"

"If you want to know, go get her," she snapped. "Now get the hell out of my way."

Murphy got in front of her. "Get back inside and get the fucking girl."

"No."

Murphy looked at her and then grabbed her by her hair. She yelped and tried to get out of his grip by kicking his shins. He simply pulled her hair harshly, making her fall on her knees. Despite being injured, Murphy had a strong gripped on Kaya and every time she would move, he would pull her hair viciously.

"You want to build a society, princess?" Murphy screamed. "Let's build a society. Bring her out. Or else I am actually going to kill someone. Starting with Kaya."

"Murphy," she gritted, her nails digging into his arm. "Stop being stupid."

"Oh, no. I'm not being stupid. This is stupid." He viciously pulled her up and slapped her face with his hand. Kaya didn't get a chance to react, in that moment Bellamy came out of his tent, his face set in a glare.

"Let her go," he ordered. Kaya again in vain, tried to get out of his grip but every time she moved, it felt like her scalp was being ripped off her skull.

Murphy smirked. "Well, well, well. Look who decided to join us."

"Let her go. Now," Bellamy repeated.

"Or what? What are you gonna do about me? Hang me?"

Murphy unknowingly had loosens his grip on her and Kaya took the opportunity to twist her body, to pull away from him. She screeched when she felt part of her hair being yanked but managed to get away from him. Bellamy reached over and pulled Kaya to him. She pushed him away from her and went to Octavia's side.

"Come on, I was just giving the people what they wanted," he reasoned.

Murphy nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. Why don't we do that right now? So, who here wants to see the real murderer hung up? All in favor? I see. So, it's okay to string me up for nothing, but when this little bitch confesses, you all let her walk? Cowards! All of you are cowards!"

"Hey, Murphy! Murphy. It's over," Bellamy yelled.

"Whatever you say, boss."

The next action unrealized a chain reaction. Murphy hit the head of Bellamy, making him fall to the ground unconscious. Everybody around him reacted, yelling and pushing and shoving.

"Shit," Kaya gasped, taking a step back from everyone.

"Son of a bitch!" screamed an enraged Octavia. She ran towards Murphy but he pushed her

"Hey!" Kaya heard Jasper fall to the ground. She was going over to Octavia but stopped her tracks. Turning around she went to see if Jasper was alright. He was groaning on the floor, with a bloody nose.

"Hey. Hey. Jasper. Are you okay?"

He mumbled something intangible.

"Kaya!" Octavia cried out. "Help me. Bellamy, wake up!"

"Go," Jasper mumbled, pushing Kaya away. "Help 'tavia."

"Come on. Let's get the girl. Charlotte!" Murphy screamed like a lunatic, making Kaya flinch at his loud voice. "Charlotte, I know you can hear me! And when I find you, you are gonna pay! Come on."

Kaya left Jasper when Monty rushed to them.

"Oh my God," Kaya breathed when she went on her knees in front of Octavia and an unconscious Bellamy. "Don't touch him."

Octavia raised her hand, going away from him. "What do we do?"

"I don't know, but uh, let's get him to his tent," Kaya suggested, glancing around hesitantly. Everybody was staring at them, not making an effort to help them. She scowled at them and slowly, they all went back to what they had been doing. With all the strength they could muster, both girls picked up Bellamy, dragging his limp body and drag him inside his tent.

"Murphy is going to kill Charlotte," Kaya stated when they place Bellamy in his bed.

Octavia scowled. "Yeah. And Bellamy is going to kill Murphy when he finds out."

Kaya rubbed her face, not sure what to do next. "What do we do now?"

Octavia shrugged. "Wait for Bellamy to wake up."

"Awesome," Kaya muttered, sitting down on the ground. She stared at a still Bellamy. "He's still alive, right?"

Octavia shot her a panicked look. "Why would you say that?"

"Murphy hit him pretty hard and he's not moving... wait, nevermind, I just saw his chest move. He's alive."

Octavia sighed in relief. "I can't believe this is happening," she muttered.

"Yeah well, that Charlotte girl should have done what I do. Hide from your problems. Burry the guilt inside and in the end become self-destructive."

"Like cutting yourself?" offered Octavia. Kaya glanced at her and burst out laughing.

"Yeah... yeah," she agreed. "Maybe Charlotte did the right thing. I'm not exactly the best example."

"I think you're fine," Octavia smiled.

Kaya gave her an appreciative smile and glanced back at Bellamy when she heard him grunt. She frowned when she saw some blood on his forehead. "Hey, maybe we should clean him up," she suggested.

Octavia nodded. "You get a rag and I get the water."

Kaya nodded and both left the tent. Kaya was the first one to get to the tent and when she stepped inside and saw an empty bed.

"Oh great," she sighed, putting her hands on her hips. "Bellamy's an idiot."

"Hey, I got some—where the fuck is he?" Octavia demanded, dropping a canteen of water. She walked in circles around the tent, a desperate part of her hoping to find her older brother there.

"Octavia," Kaya spoke up hesitantly. "I don't think he's here."

Octavia screamed in frustration making Kaya flinch. She kicked the blanket that was on the ground and stormed out of the tent, making a steady outside, yelling her brother's name.

"You know, for someone who is always on a thin thread of killing herself, I have my shit together than the others," Kaya marveled and then walked out of the tent to see Octavia looking around the camp, expecting to see Bellamy but only saw a few people lingering outside. Kaya looked around at the half empty camp, most of the delinquents decided to tuck in early, the recent of events shaking them up.

"He's gone isn't he?" Kaya asked and the death look Octavia gave her made her take a step back from her. "Sorry," she offered.

"What now?" Octavia said, gripping her hair in frustration.

"Unless Bellamy and Clarke get their shit together, this place is going to burn down, expect chaos like this every freaking day," Kaya said, remembering all the screaming and shoving. "We're screwed. Bellamy is an asshole who refuses to admit he's wrong and Clarke is an uptight bitch who always thinks she's right."

"This is bullshit," Octavia said. "I can't believe this."

Kaya looked at her and then back at the vast forest. She could imagine Bellamy running to look for the others. Kaya shrugged. "Well, hopefully, nothing too horrible happens beside your brother passing out again."

"Whatever," Octavia huffed, waving off the forest. "Stupid brother instinct," she grumbled.

Kaya tilted her head in confusion. "What?"

"Well isn't it obvious? He sees Charlotte and all he thinks is that she's me. He's like replacing her with me. He's acting a like a brother. If she was you, he wouldn't give a crap and let Murphy kill you."

"Thanks," Kaya said sourly. Octavia gave her an apologetic shrug.

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't. I don't have a brother."

"I'm going to lay down for a while," Octavia announced, shaking her head in frustration. "Need to get rid of this stupid headache I have because of fucking Bellamy. Can I stay in your tent, because I don't want to go mine right now? Can I?"

"Yeah sure," she agreed distractedly. "I'll stay in yours if you don't wake up."

"Doubt I'll get any sleep but thanks. I'm so glad we're friends." Octavia gave her a genuine smile that Kaya half returned. Octavia left to her tent.

Kaya saw that she didn't have to be in the dropship anymore and left. Kaya walked to get a tent but was stopped by Ezra. She totally had forgotten about him.

"Hey, Kaya," he greeted her.

"Oh, hi..."

"Sorry, I know I'm bothering you but I just wanted to see if you were okay?" he asked, shuffling his feet nervously.

She observed his face flush and how he scratched his face. He liked her. It was obvious and Kaya found it interesting. It was like Finn all over again. Except this time, she wasn't annoyed. She thought Ezra was attractive and he had made her nervous but it was physical. She knew that for sure. That's how she felt when she had kissed Bellamy. She looked at his hand on her arm and then looked at his eyes.

Seeing him, reminded her what Bellamy had said about him. Of what he was arrested. She felt annoyed at the reminder but she was annoyed at the part of her that considered Bellamy's accusation.

"So you're okay?" Ezra asked again.

"I'm fine," she said and gave him a tentative smile.

"So today... was crazy, right? I mean, hanging Murphy and then Bellamy getting hit? Whoa," he whistled.

"Yep. Being here is crazy actually."

"I know right. Who knew getting arrested would get us here?"

That again brought back the conversation she had with Bellamy. She wanted to know if he really did kill someone but felt like it was too blunt so she redirected the question to get her answer.

"I know. What _did_ you do to get arrested?" Kaya asked casually.

He shrugged, looking slightly uncomfortable which was not promising for Kaya. "Does it matter? We're all here, it doesn't matter anymore. Here it's all whatever the hell we want."

The tone he said it made it sound like Kaya was missing something.

"What?" She stared at him in bewilderment.

"You know, like Bellamy said, 'Whatever the hell we want'. We're our people, not the ones in the Ark. Whatever hell we want," Ezra shrugged. "That guy knows what he's talking about."

Kaya stared at him in an awe of disbelief. "Whatever the hell we want, huh?" she said, enunciating each word carefully. "Well, in the Ark, it wouldn't be that. So would you have gotten floated? For what you did," she elaborated.

Ezra stared at Kaya for a few seconds and then sighed in resignation, shoving his hands on his jacket. "Someone told you what I did to get arrested, didn't they?" He sounded disappointed and Kaya looked at him in annoyance. He better not be disappointed on her.

"They told me but I thought they did it to rile me up," she admitted. "I didn't believe them but now... is it true?"

A look flashed across Ezra's face that made Kaya uneasy. "It's complicated," he muttered, his foot kicking a loose branch.

Kaya couldn't see how complicated was the whole thing. "Well, did you or not? It's not that complicated."

"No, it's not," he agreed but didn't look like he was going to answer her question any time soon. He refused to meet her eyes and then shrugged. "I just came to say hi and see ho you. It's late and I'm tired, I'm going to head over there." He jerked his head to where his friends hanging around.

_Coward_, she thought and suddenly found him less attractive.

"Well, I'll see you later?" he asked, giving her a hopeful smile.

"Maybe," she said. Ezra didn't hear her reluctance and with another smile, he moved on, to join his friends, his exhaustion seen nowhere as he laughed and shoved his friends around. "Men are so stupid," Kaya muttered, shaking her head and looking around, not sure what to do.

"They're back," Octavia said, walking to her side. Kaya looked at her in confusion. "Bellamy, Clarke, and Finn are back," she elaborated. "Come on, let's go to the dropship."

Kaya nodded and followed Octavia to the dropship. Inside, she saw Monty, Jasper huddled around a table. Kaya gave them a brief smile when they looked up. She brightened up when she saw Finn and ran to him, throwing herself to give him a tight smile. He grunted, not expecting her to do that but nevertheless, hugged her back.

"I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered in his ear. She felt him nod and reluctantly let him go.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she shrugged and searched his face and saw that it was somber. She was going to ask what was wrong when he flinched and raised his right hand. The bracelet the Ark had placed on him, had popped open and fell to the floor. Kaya looked back at the others and saw that Finn's bracelet wasn't the only that opened up.

"What the hell?" exclaimed Octavia.

"What happened?" Clarke demanded, going over Monty.

"It didn't work. I think... we fried all the wristbands," admitted Monty, sounding guilty.

Kaya felt her heart drop, realizing what Monty meant. They would never be able to contact the Ark now. A loud noise, made her look and saw the back of Finn's head as he stormed off.

"Finn," Clarke called out after him and was going to follow him when Kaya got in front of her. "Kaya, I need to see—"

"He's my best friend. I'll go," she said in a hard voice and without waiting for her answer, left the dropship, to follow her emotional friend. She struggled to keep up with his fast pace. When they were outside the camp, he slowed down and started pacing around, running his fingers through his hair.

"Finn?" she asked timidly, taking a hesitant stepped towards them. He stopped and glared at her. For a second, she thought he was going to snap at her but instead, he laughed. "Finn," she repeated more forcefully.

"Kaya." The tone of his voice, make her look at him cautiously. "You're my best friend, right? The one I can count one when shit is getting out of hand?"

"Sure," she said slowly.

"I'm serious Kaya. Can I count on you?"

"So am I. Seriously Finn, I am your best friend. Always, no matter what."

"What the hell should I do then?" He almost demanded, his eyes holding a glint of desperation.

"About what?"

"About Clarke," Finn said impatiently. "About us."

Kaya eyed him suspiciously. "What about her?"

"I'm serious Kaya. I really do like her and—"

"What about Raven?" she said sharply.

"What about her Kaya?" he said tersely.

She scoffed. "Are you fucking kid—?"

"No. I mean what about her? I can't do anything. She probably thinks I'm dead or something. I can't tell her I'm alive, and maybe if I do, it won't matter, because I might not see her again. You heard Clarke, there's a limited amount of air in the Ark. She could die any moment."

Kaya stared at Finn in disbelief. She couldn't understand how he spoke about Raven, his girlfriend of many years. She remembered how enthusiastic he was about her when they started dating, and even before when he was just the boy who would give her his rations so she wouldn't starve.

"So that's it? You're giving up on her just because of that stupid reasoning?"

"What am I supposed to do Kaya?" he shouted.

"Wait. At least wait a fucking month," she yelled back. "Raven deserves at least that."

"We don't even know if we have a month. Or even them. We all be dead by then!" He growled and turned around to kick a tree. He wasn't listening to her, adamant with his idiotic reasoning. Kaya in that moment realized that whatever she would say to him, he wouldn't listen.

"Finn..." she said cautiously.

"What?" he snapped, pushing his hair out of his face and breathing heavily.

"If you're really going to do something with Clarke, you better tell her about Raven," she said quietly, digging her nails into her palms.

"And if I don't?" he challenged him.

"Then I don't want to be friend with a coward."

He narrowed his eyes. "It always was difficult being friends with you. At times, I would wonder why I would stick around but then I remembered it was because of—" he stopped himself and shook his head.

"Your stupid crush," she guessed flatly.

Finn scoffed, his lips twitching. "I knew that you knew," he muttered to himself and looked at her. "You always were observant. But just so you know, I got over it."

"Yeah, I guessed that when you started dating."

"I didn't just stay because of my crush but because I love you. You and Raven mean everything to me," he said. "I'm stupid and reckless, and I might get killed one day because of that, but it will because of I'm protecting the people I love."

"I know. That's your mortal flaw. Like in those Greek plays," she said flatly. "A martyr. Bet you'll love that."

Finn looked annoyed at her comment. "Can you just stop being so fucking accusatory for a second? And see things my way?"

She spluttered and was about to snap back but a voice broke into their argument.

"Is there a problem?" Bellamy's voice came from behind them.

"Fucking great," Finn said under his breath.

"Jesus Bellamy," Kaya snapped, not looking back. "Can't we talk in peace without you coming to stick your nose in our business?"

Bellamy loud steps were heard as he got closer to them. "Sorry, but your shouts were disrupting people _and _you're not supposed to be out here after dark."

Kaya clenched her jaw, swirling around. "Seriously, Bellamy! Fuck off."

Bellamy shook his head. "Get back inside. It's not safe," he said, looking at Kaya.

"Shut up, Bellamy," Finn snapped. "Just stop being so fucking controlling. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Big talk from a coward," Bellamy responded. Finn glared at him and then stormed off, toward the deep end of the forest.

"Finn!" Kaya yelled his name, going after him. "Finn! Come back!"

"Kaya, wait. No." She could hear Bellamy go after her but she ignored him. She tried to maneuver herself through the darkness but she tripped when she didn't see a root. She made a strangled noise, frustrated at how pathetic she was. She felt someone pull her up harshly and push her against a tree.

"What the hell were you thinking, Kaya?" Bellamy hissed, both of his hands gripping her arms tightly. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

She glared at him and tried to push him off her. "Let go of me, Bellamy. I need to find Finn."

"No," he snapped. "Let him go."

"No. I can't. I need to go and get him."

"Why? He doesn't want you around? Why do need him?" he grunted. She struggled to get out of Bellamy's grip for a few more moments but gave up, not having the energy anymore. It wasn't worth it anymore. She gave up and rested her head against the tree trunk. She felt Bellamy let her arms go when he saw that she wasn't going to leave again.

"Come on," Bellamy said gruffly. "Let's go."

She didn't listen to him and stared at the forest in front of her. She wanted to go back and follow Finn, to punch him in the face but she knew she wouldn't do that. She would only get lost and she wasn't going to suffer for him.

"Kaya," he said, in a softer voice that time. "He'll be fine."

"You're right. He doesn't need me," she said quietly, feeling numb at the realization.

"That's not what I meant," Bellamy said, frowning.

"I know but that doesn't mean it's not true." She pushed herself from the tree and reluctantly followed him, trudging beside him. Kaya tried to ignore the anxiety she felt about Finn. She glanced at Bellamy and frowned, realizing this was the first time she was seeing him since he had been unconscious. She remembered the anger she felt when he allowed the delinquents to hang Murphy.

"So you're back," she said, her lame attempt to start a conversation.

"Yeah," he grunted. Even in the darkness, she could see how exhausted he looked. It was a vast difference how he appeared in the morning, tired but still had energy in him. She knew that whatever happened with Murphy had ended badly.

"How did it go?" she asked tentatively.

He sighed, running his fingers through his tangled hair. "Charlotte's dead if that's what you're wondering."

Kaya's head snapped up to look at him, her eyes wide in surprise. The thirteen-year-old was dead. Someone who she had met was now dead.

"Bellamy," she said tentatively, noticing more clearly how exhausted and stressed out she appeared. "Are you okay?"

He laughed humorlessly. "Charlotte's dead and I could have prevented it but I didn't."

"Murphy killed her?"

He shook his head. "She killed herself."

Kaya looked to the ground, shocked. That little girl killed herself. She didn't know if she admired or loathed the thirteen-year-old for doing something she had at times come close to do doing but had been too much of a coward.

"She couldn't live with the guilt," he whispered.

"I'm sorry," that was all Kaya said. She could have said that Charlotte didn't have much left to live and that maybe it had been the better option. But Bellamy wouldn't see that. That was the first time Kaya didn't see him as their controlling leader, but as a guy who cares a little too much.

"If he didn't kill her, then what about Murphy?" she asked when she remembered why they all left the camp.

"We banished him. I wanted to kill him but instead, he was banished. Stupid son of a bitch," he said darkly.

"_We_?" The entire time they had been on Earth, Bellamy had never referred himself with a 'we', just a 'him'.

"Me and Clarke," he explained, looking rueful. "You're we're right. I can't do this myself."

Kaya wanted to comment on how he finally admit was wrong but knew that it wasn't the time. "So you and Clarke are a team or something?"

"Something." He nodded distractedly. She saw he kept his distance from her, almost arm's length apart.

"I'm sorry about Charlotte," she blurted out, earning a look of alarm from him. "I know I was being a bitch about the whole thing with being rude and all but I had to see Wells dead body, so you shouldn't blame me."

"I don't," he said automatically. "I don't. It's just, with Charlotte it was complicated."

_Like you saw her and all you saw was Charlotte. No yeah, that's complicated. Maybe even unhealthy. _She thought about saying that but seeing his pathetic state made her keep her mouth shut. When they had reached the camp and like it had been before, only a few people were outside.

"Hey Kaya!" Clarke walked up to her, looking stressed out. "Where's Finn? I saw him storm off and you followed him and you're back and he's not here."

"I don't know where he is. He ran out," she replied bitterly.

Clarke, instead of looking disheartened, looked slightly excited. "He's—never mind. Thank you for telling me. Excuse me," she said and left the two of them.

"That was strange," Bellamy muttered.

"No it wasn't," she sighed, knowing full well that Clarke knew where Finn was. She started walking towards her tent. She frowned when Bellamy continued walking next to her. She glanced at him wearily when they stopped at her tent.

"Okay, just say it," Bellamy said suddenly.

"Say what?"

"That you're mad, disappointed or whatever. Just say it."

"What makes you say I'm mad at you?" she asked, slightly amused.

"You have this annoying judgy look. I know that you're mad because you always wear it when you talk to Finn."

"According to him, that's how I always look like that," she mused, earning a scowl from Bellamy. "Do you live off getting reprimanded by a woman?"

"I grew up with two of them, all they did was yell at me. I mean, come on, you know what I'm talking about."

Kaya shook her head, not really understanding what he meant by that. Bellamy looked at her in disbelief.

"Seriously? Didn't your mom ever yell out you for something stupid you did?" Bellamy questioned her. Kaya expression must have shown something because he quickly backtracked. "Never mind, but yeah. I guess a part of me expects to be yelled by women, even though I still won't listen to them."

"Whatever, but to appease you, yeah I'm kinda annoyed at you."

Bellamy sighed. "Not surprise, that's the emotion I tend to make people feel nowadays, besides anger."

"Well, you want to hang someone innocent and then play favorites by refusing to kill the guilty person, and the big one, refuse to get help from one person that can help you."

"She was just a kid," Bellamy burst out indignantly. "How do you not feel sympathy? You got to know her and see that she was just a scared kid."

"I was a kid scared kid when I got arrested. I was the innocent one. She wasn't. She knew what she did. Why are you defending her? What if it was me? Would you be defending me like her?"

"I would," he said but Kaya didn't believe. He had faltered for a fraction.

"Even if you did, that's not how it works. Everyone should be punished. You let it go and that's going to tell them that it's okay to kill some as long as you have a good enough reason."

"So what? Are we like the Ark? Float anybody who steps over the line?" he scoffed.

"No," she said gently. "We're better than them but we still need punishment. Or else, a lot of people are going to end getting killed."

"And we are," he assured her. "We're just going day by day."

The corners of Kaya's lips twitched. "Can I give you a woman advice then?"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, and especially since this is coming from someone who has to spend the majority of her time trying to make a friendship workout with someone with completely different views. And also, use all the self-control to not strangle that said friend. Trust me, you need this advice."

Bellamy chuckled and nodded. "Sure. I got to learn to listen from other people, why not start now?"

She smiled at how pained he look at accepting her advice. "There's always going to be a compromise. Even when you think you'll never come to an agreement to something, you will, you just need to keep arguing. It will come up and it might surprise you how well it works out. If you don't believe me, I have a variety of examples."

Bellamy nodded in appreciation. "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind when I argue with Princess, which sure as hell will happen again."

"Just make sure to remember that she's not your enemy. She's your ally."

Bellamy muttered something under his breath, that sounded eerily like a threat. His eyes lingered on her cheek—that was still red from Murphy's slap—and his expression softened.

"Are you—?" he hesitated and asked hurriedly, "Everything alright?"

"Yeah. Never been better." He gave her a brief smile and Kaya looking at him for a few seconds, thinking about everything. Without hesitating, she went on her tip toes, she grabbed Bellamy's face and pressed her lips against his.

It was supposed to be a quick kiss, and she let him go but he grabbed her wrists and pulled her back, kissing her hard, his teeth biting her. She returned the favor, enjoying the distraction. But when he let go of her wrist and his hands went to her hips, slowly sliding them up her shirt, she twisted her mouth and pulled away from him.

"Good night," she said quietly. Bellamy didn't say anything, just stared at her, wearing a foreign expression. He almost looked mad but Kaya didn't think too much about.

She slipped inside her tent and laid down on the hard floor, slowly drifting off into a troubled slumber. But she didn't get a lot of sleep because a few hours later there was a commotion outside that aroused her and made her go outside to see something that looked to be engulfed in flames hurtling down to Earth.

* * *

**With the small (and unintentional) break, I took from the story, I had a lot of time to think what to do with some of the characters and I think I know what to do with my OC's (Kaya, Thomas, and Ezra). ****Some of you might think the other OC's unnecessary but they're there for a reason, one of them being is to help Kaya's character grow.**

**Anyways, thank you for the reviews, follows favorites. This really warms me and makes me grateful for all of you. (Any errors I will go back and fix it)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the 100 (because if I did, I would have changed so many things in season 3, so many), I only own my OC's**


	10. Beyond Under Pressure

**Oh my, God! L****ook at that, an update. Turns out the reason I haven't updated in a really long time was because I had writer's block (and not just for this story but for all of my others).**

**I just thought because I didn't have the time but yesterday inspiration hit me like a train. A slow one but it hit me, and that's the only thing that should matter. ****Deciding to take advantage of it before it was gone and a few thousand words later, I finally have a chapter. I've also changed my story summary.**

**I'm so nervous, it's been a while but I think you're going to like this chapter. I lot is happening, and there's a lot of Kaya and Bellamy in this one.**

**Happy readings :)**

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Beyond Under Pressure**

* * *

_One. Two. Three._

There were at times where Kaya hated silence. There was nothing but her loud and obnoxious thoughts. It wasn't that she thought about ways to finally end her misery. It was more about having nothing left but the bad things that she would obsess about for hours and hours until she had nothing left.

_Four. Five. Six._

How much she hated looking at her scarred arms. That it was all her fault they were ugly. The panic attacks she would get at times when she saw how terrible her life was. Of the day she was arrested and how shady things were. That one always struck a nerve. She knew, deep inside of her, that he father had probably paid one of the guards to blame it on his daughter that he never wanted.

_Seven. Eight. Nine._

And then there was others time where the silence was more than welcomed. Listening to delinquents all the time back in the Skybox would drive her insane. Their loud voices, seeping in through her walls and making her want to slam her head against the wall to make them stop. And if it weren't their voices, it was the clanking metal whenever someone would walk around, which was all the time.

_Ten. Eleven. Twelve._

Being down on Earth, Kaya had come to realize that there never was silence, unlike the Ark. The humming noise of engines no longer counted as noise, she didn't even notice it anymore.

_Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen._

But on Earth, she could hear everything whether it came from the delinquents. The buzzing noise of the flies. The croaking of frogs. The water streaming. Little animals that are crawling around. Branches breaking. It was always something that caught Kaya's ears.

_Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen._

Only at night would Kaya have her peace and only focus on her breathing and try to ignore the itching sensation on her wrists. Most of the times, she would had to sit on her hands to stop herself from doing something stupid. For the past few days, she had been unable to go to sleep and just focus on her restlessness. She would count until she lost track and was too tired to start again.

_Nineteen. Twenty. Twenty-one._

Tonight was the exception. She was so tired, that the moment she touched the ground, instead of tensing up, she was able to relax and count causally. Until out of nowhere, shouts filled the semi-silence. The voices merged together, making no sense. She contemplated on ignoring them but it kept going and going, growing louder each time. It wasn't until she heard high-pitched screams that she reluctantly sat up.

"Damn, I have to start again," she muttered and crawled over to her tent door. She opened the flap and poked her head out. She blinked when she saw almost everybody outside, staring at the sky in disbelief. Getting out, she stood up clumsily and almost fell to her face but managed to put her hands in front of her.

As quickly as she fell, Kaya got up and brush off the dirt from her palms and jeans. No one paid attention to her, mostly because everybody was staring, chattering loudly and pointing at the sky. Her mouth fell open in surprise when she saw that there was smoke in the sky. She should have gotten up sooner.

"Kaya! Over here!"

Kaya's head snapped and saw Monty waving at her. She went up to him and gave him a forced smile.

"Hey, you okay? I saw you fall."

"Yeah, I'm fine. But thanks for asking. What's going on?" she asked him.

"You didn't see it? A dropship from the Ark fell," Monty explained to her. He looked beyond thrilled.

"But I thought you didn't get a signal. It didn't work, I was there."

"It didn't but who cares," Monty said and looked over her shoulder. "Oh, there's Jasper, I have to go. But, hey, the Ark is here. We're not going to die. Bye, Kaya."

Kaya furrowed her brow and felt her hand crawl up to her scarred wrists, feeling tired. "I doubt it," she muttered.

"Kaya!"

She turned her head and saw Ezra push his way through the crowd and walked up in front of him, smiling widely at her.

"Isn't this exciting? The Ark is here. Or at least some of it. God, I wonder what's going to happen next. Bellamy's over there but he hasn't done anything yet."

She turned her to see Bellamy standing with two girls. She felt embarrassed when she realized that the three of them were not fully clothed. Kaya felt her cheeks flush when she saw Bellamy's bare chest. She tried to avert her eyes from him and looked anywhere but him. Yet, she couldn't stop herself from looking at him, curiosity getting the best of her.

She had never seen a shirtless man before. Or boy. Or anybody else. And seeing Bellamy was a strange awakening for her. She had seen pictures before but it was different in real life. She knew Bellamy was good looking. It annoyed her how it was blatantly obvious and how shamelessly he would use his looks for his benefit.

Kaya pried her eyes away from him and was relief that Ezra was busy looking at the sky. She would have been more mortified if he had caught her blatantly staring at a guys chest. Still feeling hot, she decided if she would take a step back and not make herself look like a fool.

"Um, Ezra, I think I'm going to... um, over there to find someone." She gave him a half smile. "But I'll come back."

He looked disappointed but nodded enthusiastically when she promised to come back. She took a step back from him and then stopped, having an idea. Balling her fists, she stepped towards her and grab his face and kissed him.

He made a sound of surprised, but kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her. He was cold and soft, almost the opposite of the last person she kissed. It felt nice but she didn't feel anything. Maybe because she wanted to try something and he was just there.

She twisted her mouth to get away from him. She pushed herself away from him and turned around, and unconsciously wiped her mouth.

Time to find Finn. Or someone that wasn't Ezra.

* * *

The anxiety was gnawing him. He hadn't felt like that since he found that Octavia was being sent down to Earth and he would never see her again. His chest tightening, his heart racing so fast he thought he would have a heart attack. He hated that feeling more than anything and had promised himself he would never feel it again.

He glanced around the camp that was buzzing in excitement feeling, the opposite he was feeling. How could they be happy to see the people who sent them to their death? He was glad some of them didn't look thrilled.

Everybody had been asking about the Ark, demanding when they were going to look for them. Trying to remain calm, he told them that they shouldn't be reckless due to the circumstances and to come up with a plan.

That seemed to calm them down for a while and make him leave him alone. Which was not a good idea. Being all alone inside his tent—after he kicked out the two girls he had been with—he paced around, trying to calm himself down.

The Ark was here. They were down in Earth. They were going to find them. Find _him_. And then they were going to get him and kill him for his crime.

Unless he came up with something fast.

He needed to do something quick before anything happened. But he would need help. Usually, he would have gone to Murphy but he had been banished, so he was no longer an option. Octavia was also not an option. Neither was Princess, unfortunately, his newest ally. She would probably personally turn him in.

He racked his brain for someone and the remembered that there was Miller. Bellamy could take advantage his eager to please personality but he didn't trust him enough.

"I can't—fuck," he swore and got out of his tent, feeling claustrophobic. His eyes flitted, almost desperately, around the dark camp, hoping to find someone. Almost everybody was outside, the excited buzzing around, all talking about the hurtling flame.

"Bellamy."

He turned his head and saw some of the guys who he had earlier taught how to throw knives. Miller went up to him with the others lingering behind them. Like the rest of the camp, they were full of anticipation and excitement.

"What?" he snapped, wanting more than but for them to get out of his sight, having no patience to deal with teenagers that weren't his sister or Princess. If it were another time, he wouldn't have minded how they looked up at him. Right now, he hated it.

Miller looked at him uncertainly, Bellamy's harsh tone making him lose some of his confidence. "Um, well, we are just here to tell we're ready whenever you are."

Bellamy turned his body to face Miller and the others, crossing his arms over his chest. "What do you mean when I'm ready?" he asked dangerously.

Miller's face contorted in mild confusion and panic, looking back for support for the other but they said nothing, leaving him on his own. He looked back at Bellamy, his expression carefully void of emotion. "Well, I mean, were just waiting when you want to go out and check out the dropship."

Bellamy hoped that his expression remained the same and didn't show the flicker of panic that he felt when Miller said that. He cleared his throat and shook his head in disbelief. "What makes you think that's a good idea?"

"What?" Miller said, frowning. "We're not going to see the dropship?"

Bellamy took a step closer, a small space left between him and Miller, hoping to intimidate him to let the entire thing go. "Why would we go right now? In the middle of the night to search a dropship that we don't even know where it landed?"

"I just thought that's what you would want to do."

"Well you thought wrong," Bellamy snapped. "Do you think _I_ would think that it's a good idea to take some of us, our people, in the middle of the night, where there's more danger, to the forest that has grounders roaming around that want to kill us?"

"But―"

"We don't know where the dropship is. It could be miles away from us. Why would I take suck I a high risk for the people who left us to die?"

The guys glanced at each other unceasingly, some nodding in agreement. Other still looked hesitant and unsure of his decision.

"Shit, man. You're right, Bellamy," Miller said. "We weren't thinking about that. We were just thinking about the Ark and seeing them again."

"But we are going, right?" Sterling, one of the guys, spoke up. He looked determined and not completely ready to back down. "We're going tomorrow?"

Bellamy looked at him, half tempted to say no but knew that wasn't an option. Without having much of a choice, he nodded curtly. "Tomorrow, when everybody has settled down, we'll head out and check it out. See what's happening."

"But what about them tonight?" Miller jerked his head to where the delinquents were, looking at them curiously. "What do we tell them? They're expecting us to do something. That's why we came to you."

"And what about the people in the dropship?" one of the guys asked.

"I think the Ark can handle one night alone," Bellamy said dryly. "If we, the dispensable, could survive, why not them?"

They laughed. Bellamy didn't say anything, he just wanted them to leave him alone.

"But what about the others?" Miller asked again. "They keep asking when we're going to check out the dropship?"

Bellamy clenched his jaw. His eyes drifted to the delinquents, despite being the middle of the night, were wide awake, talking and laughing over the newest events. All of them were expecting that the Ark would forgive them for their mistakes and everything would carry one. They seemingly had forgotten about how they had been called dispensable and no one did a thing to stop the chancellor to let them to their deaths.

"Bellamy..." Miller said.

He snapped out of his thoughts. "Go over there and tell them nothing is going to happen. Remind them the dangers of going out there alone, in case they get any bright ideas," Bellamy ordered them and paused. "And I want you guys all over the place, supervising. No one leaves the camp to investigate. If they do, bring them back."

They looked at him and didn't make a move. He sighed in annoyance. "Go, _now,_" he barked at them and stalked off. He ignored anybody who would call out his name or ask him what he was going to do.

He stopped nearby a tree and balled his fists, trying to go squash down his overwhelmed feelings and focus on his next plan of action. He had barely managed but for how much long?

Now he wished that he had more people. The delinquents were just followers, he needed someone that he knew wouldn't betray him the second things got hard or at least not open their big mouth. He kept looking around when his eyes stopped when he spotted a familiar blonde head, standing near the dropship, shying away from everybody but still close enough to know what was going on.

_Fuck, Kaya_.

The noise obviously woke her up, whether it was because of the Ark falling from the sky or the ruckus the delinquents made, she was standing between two thick trees, almost obscured from the view. But her blonde hair made her stand out. Bellamy could see shifting nervously and tugging on her shirt sleeve.

He wondered for a second why she wasn't with Octavia or even Finn but he decided he didn't care. He almost smiled in amusement, seeing how she flinched when two boys burst from behind her and ran to their friends.

Kaya, he thought and then cocked his head to the side. He could trust her, he thought slowly, the idea sinking in slowly. From what he'd noticed, Kaya was loyal and knows how to keep a secret.

But he hesitated, many doubts filling his head. She was friends with Finn, who was involved with Princess. He knew that she was going through a rough patch with Finn at the moment, she wouldn't say anything to him. Although, that still didn't take the uneasiness of depending on her.

Not only that but she was friends with his sister and that made him uncomfortable. Octavia already made a scene with him about Kaya and not doing anything stupid to scare her away.

Glancing at the sky, he could still see streaks that the pod had made going down on Earth, a sour reminder how everything he had worked for would fall apart any second. Unless he did something, quickly. He sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Looking back down at Kaya, who had slowly been inching herself closer to where the other were.

_You need help and she'll probably help if you're nicer_, he convinced himself. He would just need her as an extra hand, in case something happened. Pushing aside his fears, he marched up to Kaya.

While he had been internally debating with himself, someone had come up to Kaya and started talking to her. His lips curled up in a sneer, seeing how pathetic Ezra was with Kaya. He was trying too hard to win her over and he was satisfied when he could see Kaya resisting his charms.

"... it's not that hard, really," Ezra was saying. He was hoping on and off a fallen log as he spoke to Kaya. "I learned it from my dad."

"Oh, really? I didn't. My friend's girlfriend was teaching me the basics before I got arrested."

"Did you like it? I wanted to work for the mecha station but it didn't work out, as you can tell. With me being here. With you, so maybe it's not all that bad."

"Yeah," she said and didn't add anything. Ezra started speaking but stopped when he glanced up and saw Bellamy. Kaya stiffened when he approached them.

"Hey, Bellamy, hey," he said, nervously. He found it amusing how some of the delinquents were starstruck whenever they saw him. He would be lying if he said he didn't like the effect he had on them. "What do you want? I mean, what's up?"

Bellamy glanced at him, annoyed by his presence. He didn't get what Kaya saw in him but honestly didn't care. He didn't have the time nor patience. Ezra nodded to himself when he realized that Bellamy wasn't going to make it easy for him.

"Hey, so you guys aren't going tonight?"

"No, we're not. Safety precaution," he said seriously, giving him a terse smile. Ezra nodded knowingly while Kaya looked at him curiously.

"I get that. It would be dangerous. I still would have gone if you went."

Bellamy smirked. "Oh really? Then how come you weren't with Miller?"

Kaya shot him an irritated look which he pretended not see.

"Oh, well," Ezra cleared his throat and hurried to explain. "I haven't noticed when they had approached you. I would have still come."

"Great. Next time we plan on going to a night trip, I expect to be the first person to see, waiting for further instructions."

Ezra flushed and nodded, looking like that was the opposite what he wanted.

"What do you want, Bellamy?" Kaya asked him, her blue eyes narrowed dangerously. Bellamy looked surprised, never had seen her angry before.

"Actually..." He smirked and turned to face her. "I want to talk to Kaya."

Ezra blinked, surprised at that while Kaya didn't. "Oh, really?" he said.

"Why do you want to talk to me?" Kaya said, looking annoyed. "About what? Can it wait?"

He glanced at Ezra, who was looking at them intently, confused about what was going on.

"Can we talk in _private?_" Bellamy emphasized the last word, looking at Ezra. He then scowled at him, finally realizing that Bellamy was not there to become friends.

"Right now?" she said annoyed. Bellamy didn't want to say more in front of Ezra but he needed her to go with him.

"It's about my sister," he said, trying to sound vague. She bit her lip and nodded.

"I'm sorry, Ezra, but I have to go," she said, turning to Ezra and giving him an apologetic smile. "I'll look for you later."

Ezra gave her a forced smile but didn't agree to anything. Bellamy made the point to place his hand behind Kaya's back and steered her away from Ezra. He tried to hide his smirk when he saw the dark look that crossed Ezra's face. He didn't take his hand from Kaya's back until she pulled away from him. She turned around to face him and crossed her arms over her chest, her expression annoyed.

"What's wrong with Octavia?"

"I don't know, it could be a phase. But I need a favor," he said, not wasting time. He was surprised not to see Princess out there, yelling around to get a search party and he was going to seize the opportunity.

"And I need you to leave me alone, but it turns out that's not going to happen," she said, smiling at him sourly. "If it this conversation is not going to be about Octavia, then I'm leaving."

"It's not about Octavia but—"

"Bye, then." She rolled her eyes and started walking away.

"No, no," he said quickly, pulling her back to him. She flinched at his touch and he immediately let her go. "What was that?" he demanded.

"Nothing," she said quickly. "Now that I'm here, what do you want?:

He narrowed his eyes but didn't waste time. "It's really important, it can't wait. If it would, I would have left you alone and continued what was interrupted in my tent."

"I shouldn't have heard that. But if it's that important, it's got to be about the dropship, right?"

"What?" Bellamy pushed down his panic and looked at her indifferently.

"Your guys were walking around the place, saying no one leaves the camp until further notice. I had the pleasure to have a horrible conversation with a guy who wouldn't stop flirting with me. I had to find out by Ezra."

"That's good to know I have reliable guys." He clenched his jaw.

"Yeah, they're terrific. Apparently, we're not going to do anything because of safety. Everybody was looking at you. Waiting for you to do something which you haven't."

"You do know that I'm beyond under pressure, right? I did what was best for us."

She snorted. "Sure, why not, the best for us. I honestly don't believe it's about the safety. Which, by the way, what's the real reason?" Bellamy really wished he could shut her up and make her go away. "I bet it's just out of spite. You're not going right now because you obviously don't want to help them just yet. Let them suffer for one day."

Bellamy almost smiled, wanting to tell her how wrong she was. He was going in that moment and he planned for her to go with him but he knew that just shoving the information to her face would not help his case. "Does it matter what I chose?"

"Yes, it does. It counts at how much patience I need to not want to slap you and walk away."

"I don't know what I feel about that new attitude of yours," Bellamy said, motioning her. "What happened to quiet and—"

"Submissive and stupid Kaya?" she snapped. "That's why you only talk to me? Because everybody knows that I won't fight them? I'm not a child, Bellamy."

He raised his eyebrow, trying not to make a snarky comment knowing that she would leave. He did not want to beg, nor did he have the time. He could hear a ticking noise growing louder and louder as the seconds passed and he still hasn't done anything about the stupid pod. Why couldn't the Ark have left them for dead, as the originally planned?

"I was going to say patient but whatever you want. But I really do need you to do me this favor. Think of it as a payback for the time you almost got my sister killed when you promised me to get her here safely."

She twisted her mouth in displeasure. "I said alive," she huffed.

"I don't care. I'm being nice right now, I need you to come with me. I have something to do and I need you to make sure no one pops out."

"And they can kill me so you can run away," she guessed flatly. "That's what you think of me? An easy escape?"

Bellamy looked at her, surprised at her attitude. He might have been joking before but now it was really strange. He exhaled and tried to change his approach. "Kaya, I need you to come with me because I need help."

She stared at him for a really long time, making him more nervous. He shouldn't have gone and asked her. Not only was he wasting his time, he was trying to negotiate with a girl. He should have known that they would not move forward, growing up with two women. It took him by surprise when Kaya curtly nodded. "Fine. Whatever, where are we going?"

"Good," he said, trying not sound relief. But internally, he was sighing in relief and motioned her to follow him. He looked around to make sure that no one was watching them, not wanting them to follow them and ruin everything for him. They slipped out of the camp and walked quickly through the dark forest.

Bellamy really hoped that he got to the pod before anybody else.

* * *

Kaya had seen the forest at night before, in her first day on Earth but it had been a different experience. She had been with Finn, her best friend, someone she trusted with her life. She hadn't been aware of the dangers that Earth held and had been on the high of excitement that long ago had extinguished.

Now, the second time in a dark forest, it was strange. Instead of Finn, she was with their presumptions leader, Bellamy. She didn't completely trust him but was confident that he wouldn't let her die.

Since they left the camp, Bellamy started walking into a frenzy, looking his shoulder every second as if he was afraid someone was following them. He barely acknowledged her presence, making her wonder why he even brought her. She knows that it was a flimsy excuse of his when he asked her to join him in a stupid place.

They had been walking in silence for a while. The only noise came from her loud steps. The branches crunched loudly as she stepped over them, echoing over the semi-empty forest. Bellamy was making almost no noise, frustrating. She was following his steps but he was moving at a rapid pace.

"Why are we going fast if no one is going to look for the pod until tomorrow?" she asked, hoping to ease the tension.

Bellamy barely spared her a glance. "Knowing how none of them listen to the rules, one of them is going to show up and destroy everything."

"Is that it? Are we hurrying up for that?" She snorted. "I might by naive but I'm not stupid."

"Why don't believe me?"

"You're a liar by nature, Bellamy, I've learned that much. And I want to ask what the hell you're doing dragging me here but I honestly don't care because you're going to lie to me. And I'd rather not know than to be lied to. I have Finn for that."

"Kaya, if I knew you were going to be a pain in the ass, I wouldn't have bothered taking you away from your coward boyfriend," he snapped.

"He's not my boyfriend." She exhaled loudly and he stopped abruptly, whirling around. She had to stop herself from crashing into him. "I thought we were in a hurry?"

"Were you flirting with Ezra?" he asked.

She blinked and cocked her head, confused at the question. "What?"

"No you're right, we're not in a hurry. They won't find the pod and maybe we won't. So let me rephrase the question, were you trying to flirt Ezra?"

"No, I wasn't," she said sourly, now wishing she would have kept her mouth shut and continued walking.

"That's good," Bellamy snorted, annoying Kaya even more. He shook his head and started walking again, forcing her to catch up to him.

She couldn't believe Bellamy's timing. After failing to find Finn, she went back to her spot. She stayed there for a while until Ezra had found her again and came over to have another friendly conversation with her. She had been hesitant but warmed up to him after he started talking about what he had done before being arrested. His dad was a mechanic and he planned on being one.

Before Kaya had been arrested, Raven had been teaching her the basics and she was proud to say that she was pretty good. Kaya never really planned on pursuing being a mechanic but it was a welcomed distraction, something she suspected it was the reason why Finn insisted for Kaya to spend time with Raven.

"Why do you care, anyways?" she huffed.

"Because if you were flirting, that would have been painful."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she said sharply.

"Um, you don't know how to flirt," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

She exhaled and walk up to him, giving him a sour smile. "Did you see me flirting with Ezra?"

"I hope not."

"Of course not. I mean, why would I flirt with him when I have you?" she said, her voice going softer as she spoke. She tilted her head and smiled at him. Bellamy blinked and took a step back from her. She grinned smugly when she saw his confused expression. "And you say I can't flirt."

Bellamy rolled his eyes but the corner of his lips twitched in amusement.

"Besides, I don't know," she shrugged, flipping her hair over her shoulder and continued walking. "Ever since you told me about him being arrested for murder, he was an asshole to me and now not anymore, so I don't know."

"He's a guy," Bellamy said. "What else did you expect? He just wants to get good with you so he can get in your pants. That's what I would, that's what I have done."

"I know. That's what I told myself. So I was thinking that I might get over it and just do it, you know?"

"I'm sorry but do what? Like, have sex with him?" Bellamy asked incredulously. She shrugged, not fazed at his tone. "I'm sorry, Kaya but that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. I thought you were smart."

"It's just sex. Everybody has it. Almost everybody who's been here has been doing it. I know you've done it and I'm pretty sure Finn is going too. So why not me?"

"Because the people I've had sex with me go into a cat fight in front of a guard while yours has murdered someone. Oh, and girls stick around while guys leave once they've done their business."

"Thanks, Bellamy. I'll keep that in mind."

"Don't come crying to me when he dumps you," he warned.

"I won't," she scoffed, trying not to laugh at his face.

"Whatever, I don't care what you do in your free time but if you prefer a coward instead of someone like me, who's not a coward."

"Not a coward. Not a murderer."

"I'll back down in the murderer although he is one. But he's for sure a coward." Kaya grunted and he offered her a sympathetic smile. "I don't hate Eric."

"Eric? Who's Eric?"

"The coward of your boyfriend."

"His names isn't Eric, it's Ezra. He's not a boyfriend so can we please stop talking about him? You didn't bring me here to talk about Ezra."

"Fine. No more Ezra."

And then Bellamy stopped talking, which relieved her. His interrogation really threw her off. She knew what he did when they walked away from Ezra. She should have stopped him but she just wanted to get their conversation over but instead of going back to talk to Ezra, she was with Bellamy talking about Ezra.

Kaya hoped Bellamy knew where he was going. She could distinctly see smoke from where the pod must have crashed but the trees were obscuring their view, worrying her.

She was slightly hopeful of the Ark going back to Earth. That would mean the delinquents would have to survive. They would have more food, water, supplies, medicine and, most importantly, protection.

But even though those were important, what Kaya was more excited about was the prospect of seeing Raven and Thomas again. The two only people she cared about that were in the Ark. No one else really mattered, not even her deadbeat father.

Her excited grin slipped when she thought about him, the man that got her arrested for a crime that she didn't commit. Would he come looking for her? Or would he pretend that she didn't exist, just like how it was back then? Was he even alive? All possibilities made her anxious.

She didn't want to see him but at the same time, she wanted to look at his face and... she wasn't sure what she would do but it wasn't going to be a heartfelt hug and _"I've missed you and I love you."_

"Kaya," Bellamy called at her. "Hurry up, your too slow."

"Sorry," she muttered and picked up her pace to meet him. She almost tripped on a rock but manage to get a grip on a branch. "Dammit. No, no, no. I'm fine, just go, keep moving."

Bellamy sighed impatiently, ignoring her protest and went to grab her hand. He harshly pulled her up and didn't let go as he forced them to walk.

"If I'm a drag, why'd you force me to go with you," she grumbled.

"Because it seemed like a good idea."

"And now it's not?"

"Didn't you say that the whole thing was a terrible idea in the beginning?"

"Don't take it personally but I'm a glass-half-empty kind of person."

"Yeah, I've noticed," Bellamy said dryly.

She smile and, that time, made Bellamy pick up his pace. He almost smiled at her but then he seemed to remember why they were here, in the forest at night and got serious again.

"Come on. We've wasted time. Look at it the sky, it's morning. We spend almost the entire night arguing."

Kaya looked over his shoulder and stopped when she saw someone running towards them. She tugged on Bellamy's hand. "Your sister is coming," she hissed. "What are we're going to tell her?"

"Dammit, Octavia. She must have followed us," Bellamy sighed.

"Just to make it clear, she's going to think something horrible. Like us doing something horrible."

"Like what? Hooking up?"

"Exactly, we're not doing that so make it clear to her," Kaya ordered him, making him roll his eyes.

"Shut up, Kaya. Next time you come on to me, I'll remind you this conversation. Come on, I don't think she's seen us yet," he said and both started walking fast.

"Bellamy!" Octavia yelled out his name. They shared a look, realizing something.

"She hasn't seen you yet," Bellamy realized.

"I should hide."

"You should hide," he said at the same time as she was suggesting the same thing. He jerked his head to a nearby tree and she didn't hesitate to run but not before throwing him a dirty look.

The tree was big enough to obscure her from view but it didn't stop her from pressing herself against the trunk and moving a branch in front of her. She did not want Octavia to find her, especially now, since she was trying to make herself part of the tree.

It seemed that Octavia didn't see her because she immediately hounded Bellamy and they didn't waste time to start arguing.

"Go back to camp," Bellamy ordered Octavia. "It isn't safe."

"You lied to everyone. You lied to me," she shouted.

Kaya tried to not listen in to their sibling conversation, feeling like she was invading their privacy but it was really difficult. Considering how the forest echoed every noise, from a small crunch of a branch. and she could hear how angry Octavia was.

"You just want whatever's in that go home!"

"Just go home!"

"You always want to play the big brother, huh? Well, guess what? Joke's on me. You're just a selfish dick," Octavia's insulted ran through the forest. Kaya silently agreed and then froze, not prepared for what Bellamy said next.

"I shot him. I shot Jaha."

Kaya covered her mouth, trying to stop herself from making a noise.

Bellamy shot the Chancellor? That would definitely give him a reason why he was here and didn't want the Ark to know about them. Why he didn't want anybody to go looking for them. She exhaled and closed her eyes, and pressed herself tighter against the tree.

"What?" Octavia's voice mirrored Kaya's disbelief but it didn't compare to how defeated Octavia sounded.

"I found out they were sending you to Earth. I couldn't let you go alone. Someone came to me with a deal do this. Kill him, and they'd get me on the dropship. And I did it.

"You killed the chancellor?"

"He floated our mother. He locked you up. He deserved it."

"I didn't ask you to do that."

"You're right. I made the choice. This is on me. Whatever they sent down, I'll take care of it. I didn't ask for any of this."

She didn't know what to do. Kaya had always known that Bellamy was selfish and an asshole. But he couldn't be a murderer, not after how much he taunted her for possible liking Ezra.

She was so focused on processing everything that she shouldn't have heard, that she didn't notice Bellamy shove the branches and how close he was standing in front of her. She had a hard time reacting when he pushed a damp strand of her hair from her face.

She looked up and flinched when a drop of water hit her cheek. Sometime between Octavia demanding why he is a liar and Bellamy admitting for killing Jaha, it started raining.

"It's raining," she said, her voice coming out tight. "You should hurry up."

"Are you going to judge me now?" Bellamy said quietly.

"No, I can't do that," she said honesty, saying her head. "It was your choice. But Octavia was right, you are a dick. You couldn't even tell me what you did. Dragged me out here and then make me hide."

"Kaya..."

"You need to take responsibility. Why can't you guys admit that what you did was wrong? It's not going to take back what you did, but at least you can be a man and admit it."

Bellamy exhaled. "I'm trying to take responsibility."

"I—I'm going to check on Octavia," she said, avoiding eye contact with him. She tried to move her body but he blocked her. "Go do whatever you have to do."

"Kaya," Bellamy repeated more forcefully and pushed her back to the tree, placing both of his hands as a cage. "I didn't have a choice."

"Yes, you did, Bellamy. That's the problem that you won't see. You had a choice and that choice was to do something. Now let me go, I have to go," she said and shoved him back. Bellamy reluctantly let her go.

"Make sure she doesn't do something stupid."

"I should be saying that to you," she muttered and took off to find Octavia. It didn't take long for Kaya to find her. She was kicking and punching a tree while muttering incoherently. Kaya jogged up to her and stopped her from taking a blow to a branch. Octavia went to lean against a tree and breathing heavily.

"You're going to hurt yourself for nothing," Kaya said softly. Octavia shoved her and screamed in frustration. When she stopped, she looked surprised to see Kaya.

"What the hell are you doing here, Kaya?" she asked breathlessly.

"That's what I'm asking myself too," Kaya muttered. "But, um... I had to pee and then I heard some noise. Thank God it was you."

Octavia looked at her in disbelief and thankfully didn't try to argue with her flimsy excuse.

"Why are you doing that, Octavia?" Kaya asked, and took her friend's hands, seeing that her knuckles were bloody. "You're hurting yourself and from an expert, you're going to regret it later on."

"Bellamy is a selfish dick who thinks he's doing the right thing but he's not," Octavia said harshly.

"That's been established many times. What are you talking about right now?"

"How could he do that? I never asked him to do all of this. And then makes it like I was the one who forced him."

"Octavia," Kaya said patiently, forcing her to exhaled and look at her. "You need to tell me what you're talking about or else we're going to be here for a long time. That's not a good idea—"

"He killed the Chancellor!" Octavia yelled. "He killed him! And then he acts like he had no choice. What the hell?"

Kaya tried to act surprised but even if she did, Octavia wasn't even paying attention to her. "I can't believe Bellamy killed the Chancellor," Octavia said faintly.

"I can," Kaya said and got a look from Octavia. "If you haven't noticed, Bellamy sort of lives and breathes about you. He would do anything for you, Octavia. He did have a choice. _You_ were his choice. You'll always be his choice."

Octavia shook her head, refusing to listen to her. "Kaya, Bellamy killed someone."

"Someone would have done it," Kaya offered. "I mean, he sent one hundred teenagers to Earth, an inhabitable and dangerous place."

"That doesn't make it better, Kaya. It makes it worse that out of everyone it had to be my brother. God, what are we going to do now?"

"If I knew we wouldn't be standing were like idiots," Kaya said. She glanced around the empty forest, uneasy how silent everything was despite a few minutes ago, there was so much noise. "Come on, if we're going to stand to do nothing, might as well doing it where we're half safe. Come on, let's go back to the camp."

"No, you go, Kaya. I went to be myself, I need to think. I'm sorry, I have to go." Octavia left before Kaya could say something. She watched helplessly her leave her all alone, in the forest. She glanced around not happy how she got screwed over in the end of the day.

She shouldn't be complaining but it was all her fault for being here alone. She followed Bellamy to the forest and then argued with Octavia over her stupid brother. She rubbed her face in frustration and let out a strangled scream when she realized that she was slightly lost.

Kaya was a few seconds late when she heard someone walking behind her and grabbed her shoulder. She screamed and whipped around, hoping she didn't die painfully. She sighed in relief when it was just an angry Finn.

"What the hell are you doing here, Kaya?" Finn demanded. "Are you stupid?"

She glowered at him. "Don't call me stupid, Finn. You're here too."

"But I'm not standing all alone where a grounder can find me," he snapped.

"You're alone," she pointed out. "Why do you get to yell at me when you're doing the same thing?"

"I came with Clarke. She went ahead and then I stopped when I thought I heard something. Which turned out to be you, Kaya. What the hell are you doing here, Kaya?"

Kaya opened her mouth, trying to find a way to explain why she ended up all alone in the forest that didn't include the Blake siblings. Finn was looking at her expectantly and she shrugged helplessly.

"I had to pee," she lied. Finn looked like he wanted to strangle her but used all his self-control.

"I'm not even going to question you because of the circumstances."

"Great, then I'm going to head back to." She clasped her hands and pointed back where she hoped was the camp. "Okay? See you later, we'll catch up when you come back, so bye."

Finn pulled her back to him, his grip hard. "No, you're coming with me, might as well. I'm not letting you go alone. You're probably going to get an urge to poop and you're going to head to the river to never be seen again."

She frowned, offended that spoke about her as she was a naive child. She really disliked all the men in her life. "Where are we going anyways?"

"To the pod. Bellamy disappeared when he made it clear that no one goes out, so he's probably up to something. We have to get there before him," Finn said darkly, taking long strides that Kaya struggled to keep up with.

"That might be a little too late," she muttered and thankfully Finn didn't hear her. Finn seemed too distracted for a person who was on an important mission. "Finn, are you alright?"

"Hmm," he said and looked back at her. "What makes you say that?"

"Because I know you, Finn. Something happened. Something bad.

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, we're in a really bad situation."

She shook her head and eyed him skeptically. "Not that. It's something personal. I know because you keep rubbing your face, meaning your frustrated with whatever happened. What did you do?"

"Okay, what makes you think it was me?"

"So something did happen."

"No! Nothing happened. Let it go, Kaya."

"Fine, you're right, Finn. I'll let it go. It's not my business. I should remember the rule we made when you started dating Raven. Don't get involve in your problems."

Finn paused for a second, giving her a chance to walk beside him. Kaya saw a guilty look across his face and she rolled her eyes. Of course it was a girl problem. She had just thrown a shot in the dark and hit a target.

"We never made a rule about Clarke," he said haistly. Kaya looked at him knowingly and he sighed, caving. "I know this is not the best time to talk about it but you're literally the only person who I can talk about it. But you have to promise me to hear me out.

"I don't have much a choice, but I promised," Kaya said and nudged him continue.

"I had sex with Clarke."

Kaya stared at him and honestly had no idea what to say about that. Finn seeing her blank expression, hurried to justify his actions.

"I didn't want for it to happen but it did. And I don't what to do but I liked it because I like Clarke. I didn't think we were going to have contact with the Ark again and then we saw that thing fall and Clarke got all mad at herself, and maybe me. Blaming me for getting her distracted. Kaya? Say something, please."

Kaya finally reacted and everything burst out. "Oh my God, I can't believe it. I don't know whether to... oh my God!" she said, placing her hand on her chest. Finn looked at her guiltily and then on an impulse, slapped him in the face.

"What the hell was that about?"

"For Raven. For you to snap you out of your stupidity. I'm sorry, I don't know. I really don't, you know I'm not a violent person. I'm soft, too soft." She exhaled and buried her face in her hands. "I'm sorry but you deserved it."

"Yeah, I did," he admitted, rubbing his face. "That actually did hurt. I really don't know what I would do without you."

She nodded and then slapped Finn again. He looked at her in disbelief.

"I'm really angry right now, I'm sorry and we should go. And kept it in your pants. I don't think it's going to come out again from what I gather."

Finn frowned and reluctantly started walking. "I don't like this. Violence and yelling. This is not you."

She gave him a faint smile and said, "I don't think Clarke is not that into you."

"Kaya..."

"I'm serious, she basically blew you off and, well, it's Clarke. She's too uptight to be relaxed for a long time."

"You're right, Clarke is uptight but I can't help it."

Kaya laughed. "Sometimes I feel like I know you better than I know myself. And sometimes I think that's great, you can always know when I need help but it's bad because I need to learn how to help myself."

"You're doing fine by yourself, Kaya. You don't need me to tell you everything."

They smiled at each other for and continued walking. It didn't take them long to reach the pod. But Finn stopped abruptly, making Kaya crash against his body.

"Oomph," she grunted and straightened herself. "What is it? Grounders?"

"Raven," he breathed in disbelief.

"What?"

"Raven," he shouted and started running.

"Finn!" the unmistakable voice of Raven rang through the air.

"Raven?" Kaya said and looked at the space in front of them. She felt dumbfounded when she saw Raven, standing there, blood on her forehead. Raven was on Earth with them. She was the person on the pod. She was the problem Bellamy was going to deal with. Was he the one who hurt her?

Kaya walked unsurely towards them, hoping it wasn't a figment of her imagination. But when Finn embraced Raven, she knew it was real.

"You're bleeding."

"I don't care..."

Kaya was so surprised to see Raven, she had missed that Clarke was there too. Kaya saw the confused and hurt expression Clarke had and when she saw Raven kiss him.

"Clarke," Kaya said.

"No, I'm fine, I just can't believe how―" She stopped and looked at Kaya, narrowing her eyes. "You knew, didn't you? About them? You're his best friend, of course, you knew, why wouldn't you? Why didn't you tell me?"

Kaya wondered if know would be a good time to bring up that she did warn her about Finn and apparently didn't listen to her. "I'm sorry, I didn't think Finn would do it," she finally said and then realized that she did know.

"Forget it. Doesn't matter, the damage is done."

Kaya looked at Clarke, confused at what she said and her eyes widened when she realized what Clarke meant. Finn was screwed; both ways.

"You're insane," Finn was saying to Raven when Kaya walked up to them.

"I'd do more for you and worse. Just like you would for me." That moment Raven stumbled, concerning Finn. He made her sit down and gave her his jacket. Kaya took that opportunity to make her presence known to Raven while Finn also took the opportunity to go to Clarke and explain himself.

"Raven," Kaya said, giving her a huge smile that hurt her cheeks.

"Kaya, you're here! I can't believe it," Raven laughed and tried to stand up but was pushed back by Kaya.

"Don't you dare get up," Kaya said and crouched in front of her. Raven didn't hesitate to throw herself at Kaya, hugging her tightly. Kaya didn't hesitate and hugged her back with the equal amount of strength.

She had missed her friend so much. It had been such a long time since they've seen each other, almost six months ago. "You're here. You're really, really here," Kaya said her voice wavering.

"Yeah, I am. I still can't believe it," Raven said, letting her go. "Crap, I'm so glad you're alive. We've been so worried about you."

"We?" She frowned in confusion.

"Yeah, me and― oh my God! Thomas, " Raven said in horror and turned around. Still weak from the crash, she stumbled and Finn managed to grab her before she fell to the floor.

"What are you doing? Sit down, Raven, we need to clean you up."

Kaya went to her and forced her to look at her. "Thomas? What about him?"

"Yes, Thomas, the guard. The two of us came in the pod."

"This was all her plan. We were trying to come down here together."

"Raven, what about Thomas?" Kaya interrupted.

"Oh, God, right? He came with me. He's here, I completely forgot about him. He's probably still unconscious."

"That's not good," Clarke frowned. "Thomas could be seriously injured."

Kaya rushed to the pod and looked inside eagerly. Her face fell when she that it was empty. She frantically looked around, desperately hoping that he would appear out of nowhere. She could hear Finn and Clarke call her name, asking what's wrong.

"Where is he, Raven?" Kaya demanded.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean he's not here. Where. Is. He? Where is he?"

"I-I don't know," Raven stammered, going to her.

"How could you not know?" Kaya yelled, her voice getting higher.

"I woke up and I didn't think about him, and then I saw her. She was here first, did you see him?"

"I didn't even check," Clarke said.

A cold wave wash over Kaya when she realized that Clarke wasn't the first person to find the pod. "We're too late," she muttered but no one heard her.

"Raven, just hold on. We need Clarke to clean you and then we'll deal with Thomas. He probably left to get help."

"No, he couldn't. Look at all that blood, he was hurt badly, I doubt he could have moved without any help," Clarke disagreed.

"Wait, your Clarke?" Raven asked. Clarke nodded, confused. "Your mom, Clarke, she planned the whole thing."

"My mom?" Clarke said in disbelief.

"I can't believe this. Your mom couldn't come, so she made Thomas go with me. Because if we waited... oh, my God." Her voice trailed off as a thought occurred to her, panic flitting in her eyes. "We couldn't wait because the council was voting whether to kill 300 people to save air."

"When?" Clarke demanded.

"Today. We have to tell them you're alive," Raven said urgently and ran to check inside the pod. "The radio's gone. It must've gotten loose during reentry. I should've strapped it to the A-strut. Stupid!"

Raven hit the pod in frustration. Finn checked inside and shared a look of worry with Kaya.

"Do you think Thomas maybe took it?" he asked hopefully.

"No," Kaya said flatly. "But I know who did."

"No, no. This is all my fault. Someone got here before us," Clarke said, shaking her head. And from the look of her face, she knew exactly who it was. "We have to find him."

Kaya balled her fist, feeling a rage pulsating her body. When she saw Bellamy Blake, she was going to punch him in the face.

* * *

**Well, there you go. I hope people are still interested in this story. I don't like that I don't work on it this story that much. But I am having a hard time writing but hopefully, I don't take as much as last time.**

**Thank you for everybody that stuck around. If there's any grammatical error I will come back and fix them.**

**D****isclaimer: I don't own the 100, just my OC's and anything that's original.**


	11. A Convenient Opportunity

**Look who's alive? It is I, the author who couldn't find time to write for this story until now. But I complete a chapter, so I guess that's all that matters. Man, I have missed this story and it gave me another opportunity to watch the first season of the 100.**

**I hope you enjoy the new chapter and tell me what you think about it. (If you see any errors, don't worry. I'll go back and fix them, as usual.)**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: A Convenient Opportunity**

* * *

Clarke didn't waste a second to start spouting orders. She had ordered for Kaya to stay with Raven when she ran off to look for Bellamy with Finn at her heels. Over his shoulder, Finn shouted to Kaya to keep an eye on Raven. In another situation, she would have ignored him and let Raven follow him, but agreed with him.

Raven looked terrible. It wasn't just the bleeding forehead, it was her entire self. She looked exhausted, and knowing how she would get when she worked on a project, she probably hadn't had proper sleep or eaten anything. It didn't help that she came hurtling down to Earth in a very small pod. Kaya was surprised Raven hadn't passed out.

"Kaya, I need your help."

"What are you doing?" Kaya demanded when she saw Raven trying to get up. "You're supposed to be resting."

"Screw their orders. I'm going. That's my radio and friend that is missing."

"Raven—wait, friend?" Kaya asked, raising an eyebrow. The last time Raven had seen Thomas, she had been annoyed at his chirpiness and couldn't stop complaining about him.

"In such a short time a lot has change, Kaya. And it won't stop changing."

"Tell me about it," she muttered and rushed towards Raven side when she saw her stagger slightly. "But you should take it easy. You have that nasty cut and maybe a concussion and maybe you're dying."

"I'm fine." Raven brushed off Kaya's concern and Kaya had a hard time trying to keep up with her brisk space. "But I can't say the same about Thomas."

"You really think something bad happened to him?" Kaya scratched her arm nervously.

"I don't know." Raven groaned, staggering again, and touch her head. She hissed at the contact, even if it had been light. "Dammit."

"Raven, you need to take it easy."

"No, I cannot take it easy. That asshole—not Thomas—took the radio and probably did the same thing to Thomas. We need to find both of them."

"So you're fine—never mind, that's stupid, obviously you're not fine. Tell me at least you're not seeing double." Kaya raised two of her fingers in front of Raven's face and had them slapped away. "Okay, so you can see fine."

"Yes," Raven said impatiently and let out a strangled laugh. "God, now I know how you feel when Finn and I would pester you. I feel better, it was just a passing thing. See? I can walk normally now."

"Yeah. I guess," she said and glanced around the forest and squinted, hoping to find something or someone. "If you say you're fine we should start look. Maybe we should split up," Kaya suggested. "I bet that's what Finn and Clarke are doing."

"Everything looks exactly the same," Raven huffed, glaring at the forest. "I don't even know this place."

"No one knows this place."

Raven sighed, but she nodded in determination. "Okay. So I go west and you go east?"

"That sounds good. Just don't go past the river and you'll be fine. Oh, and if you see someone that looks like they're from another planet, you should run in zig zag's so they can miss."

"What?" Raven gasped, looking slightly horrified.

"Don't worry. Everything is going to be fine," Kaya assured and broke into a sprint, jumping when she would see a rock or a root. Kaya had continued her running when she thought she heard a noise. She stopped and glanced around the area, wary.

"Thomas?" she called out hesitantly. "Thomas? It's Kaya. Are you there?"

When no one responded, she tried to run but stopped, her legs and chest burning. She had to lean against a tree to control her breathing. But after a while, she realized that she couldn't breathe, or at least it felt like she couldn't breathe. The chest pain had worsened and no matter how much she rubbed it, the pain never left.

It turned out, that even in her state of panic, it wasn't hard to find Bellamy, mostly because he was the one who found them. Or her, to more accurate. One second, she was staring at a tree in front of her and the next, she was staring at the chest in front of her.

He was saying something to her.

"What?" she gasped, having a hard time saying that simple word.

His mouth continued moving and she tried to focus on his face to keep her centered.

"Eleven. Ten," she said in a strangled voice and struggled to say the rest of the numbers. "Nine. Eight. Seven. Six... F-f-five..."

"Four. Say four, Kaya." His voice broke into her trance and she slowly counted the rest down. Reaching zero, Kaya could feel the pain disappearing and everything slowly going back to focus.

"Bellamy?" she gasped.

"Are you alright?" She thought she felt him touch her face, but it could have been her imagination.

"No, I'm not." She shook her head and pushed his hands away. "This is all your fault."

"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be back at the camp. Did you get hurt?" She flinched when Bellamy grabbed her wrist.

"Don't touch me. This is all your fault."

Realization crossed Bellamy's face. "Kaya," he said slowly. "Whatever you saw or heard, that's not what happened."

"I don't care. Where is he?" Kaya demanded, shoving him as hard as she could. Bellamy stumbled slightly, more surprised than hurt.

"Who?"

"Thomas. The guard in the pod. We know that you were there."

Bellamy clenched his jaw. "You can't prove I was there."

She made a noise of disbelief. "Where is he?" Kaya asked, her voice strained. "What did you do to him?"

"Kaya," he started but stopped himself. Bellamy tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but she pushed it away. "I didn't do anything to him. He's badly hurt."

"Where is he?"

Bellamy clenched his jaw and looked away.

"If you don't tell me where he is, I am going to scream," she threatened. "They're looking for you. They know you took the radio."

"Kaya, don't do that," he warned her, grabbing her arm.

"Bellamy's over here," she screamed, hoping to get the attention of the others. "Over here!"

"Kaya, you're going to regret that," Bellamy gritted, glaring at her.

"So are you."

Clarke must have been the one closest to her because seconds later, she came rushing towards them and pounced at Bellamy.

"Hey! Where is it?" Clarke demanded, going in front of him.

Bellamy entire stance shifted into a casual one. "Hey, Princess. You taking a walk in the woods? Seems like it's a thing."

"They're getting ready to kill three hundred people up there to save oxygen. And I can guarantee you it won't be council members. It'll be working people. _Your_ people," Clarke lashed out.

"Bellamy." Out of nowhere, Finn appeared and shoved Bellamy. "Where's the radio?" he demanded, getting in front of his face.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bellamy gritted, and did the same thing to Finn, shoving him hard.

"Bellamy Blake?" Raven said, joining them from behind, and looked unimpressed. "They're looking everywhere for you."

"Shut up," Bellamy said.

Clarke looked at Bellamy accusingly. "Looking for him why?"

"He shot the Chancellor," Kaya said flatly, walking up towards Bellamy. "I mean, or so that's what I heard. You probably were lying just like everything that you say."

"You knew?" Finn demanded. Kaya didn't look at him, knowing that it wasn't the moment to explain the truth.

"Doesn't matter," Clark said impatiently. "That's why you took the wristbands. Needed everyone to think we're dead.

"And all that 'whatever the hell we want'? You just care about saving your own skin," Finn said in a disgusted tone. Bellamy didn't say anything else and started walking away, but Kaya got in front of him.

"Get out of my way."

"Not until I know where Thomas and the radio is. Then you can leave and never come back that would do everyone a favor."

"Kaya, I mean it," he said in a low voice. "I don't want to do anything to you."

"Hey, Shooter! Where's my radio?" Raven demanded, grabbing Bellamy by the shoulder and forcing him to look at her. "And where's my copilot?"

"Get out of my way," he said in a harsher tone and pushed her against a tree.

"Where are they?" Raven demanded and pulled out a knife she had been hiding and hold it to Bellamy's throat. Kaya watched their altercation escalate in disdain.

"I should've killed you when I had the chance," Bellamy snarled.

"Really? Well, I'm right here. Where's my radio? And where's Thomas?"

"Raven put the knife down, you're not like Bellamy. And you, you already killed one person, do not make it to two," Kaya snapped, fed up. "Just stop."

"Jaha deserved to die," Bellamy argued but did step away from Raven. "You all know that."

"Yeah, he's not my favorite person, either. But he isn't dead," Raven informed him.

"What?" Bellamy looked surprised.

"You're a lousy shot."

"Bellamy, don't you see what this means?" Clarke said, grabbing his shoulder. "You're not a murderer. You always did what you had to do to protect your sister. That's who you are. And you can do it again, by protecting three hundred of your people."

"And you can start by telling us where's Thomas," Raven said from her spot. "That will make one less body."

"I didn't do anything to him," Bellamy snapped.

"You're such a liar," Kaya burst out. Bellamy looked at her, a small flicker of regret showing across his face, and took a step towards her.

"I'm not lying. I didn't do anything to him. I was going to help him. That's what I was doing when you found me."

"What a convenient opportunity," Raven sneered. "And being there you decided to grab the radio."

Bellamy glowered at her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You asshole," Raven yelled and was going to throw herself at him again, but Finn held her back. Kaya rubbed her temples, everyone's shouting making everything worse.

"Fine, don't do anything about Thomas, I'll figure it out by myself. But where's the radio, Bellamy?" Kaya demanded and when he didn't answer, she shoved him. He didn't move but he looked resigned. "Where is the radio?"

"It's too late," he said solemnly.

"Where is it?" Clarke asked. "Bellamy, you don't have to be a murderer."

"A little too late for that," Finn muttered.

Bellamy looked away, not giving up anything. Raven was about to say something but with one look from Kaya she kept her mouth shut. If they pushed and shoved Bellamy, he wouldn't budge.

"It's in the river," Bellamy finally admitted.

"You threw it in the river?" Raven cried out and kicked the ground. "Do you know what that means? It's probably not going to work. We won't be able to communicate with the Ark."

"Not unless we find it soon," Clarke said urgently.

"Thomas is fine," Bellamy said and went towards Kaya. She took a step back. "I found him, bleeding on the ground and was going to get help. He's near the pod, next to a tree. He was already out of the pod, but really out of it and hurt."

"I don't believe you," she said and she meant it.

"Okay, good," Clarke said and turned to Raven. "We should get the others to go to the river and start looking for the radio. And Bellamy can take Kaya to get Thomas."

She didn't wait for the others and ran towards the camp to recruit the delinquents to help out.

"Let's go. We already wasted a lot of time," Finn said, glaring at Bellamy.

"I don't want to be near you," she told Bellamy. "Tell me where he is."

"You can get him on your own. You need me."

"Fine," Kaya snapped. "But let me make it clear that if this is you lying and—"

"I'm not lying," he said harshly.

"Hey, Shooter! If I find out my copilot is dead, I will use this knife on you," Raven threatened, walking away. She paused and turned around and threw her blade to Kaya. Kaya threw her a questioning look. "In case he gets any ideas," she explained.

"I won't hurt her," Bellamy snapped, but from the look that he received from Raven, she didn't believe him. Kaya pushed Bellamy forward and he started walking back to the pod. As she walked, she scanned the area, trying to spot a blonde head.

"I put him over there." Bellamy pointed to a fat tree that stood out from the others. Kaya broke into a sprint, yelling Thomas name. She faltered when she saw no one by the tree.

"What the hell?" She circled the tree and kicked the trunk in frustration. "Where is he?"

"He's not there?"

Bellamy walked around the place and cursed under his breath. Kaya looked helplessly around the forest, hoping that Thomas would appear and help them out being older and more experienced in distressing situations. He was part of the guard, being able to bring order and would make a better leader than their current one.

"Thomas was supposed to be there. I don't know what happen. He was here. He's supposed to be here."

Kaya closed her eyes, digging her nails into her palm, trying to calm her breathing down. She needed to focus. After counting to ten, she opened her eyes and turned to face Bellamy.

"You lied."

"I'm not lying about this."

"I don't believe you," she said, her voice wavering. He opened his mouth and she beat him to it. "No. Stop talking. I need you to stop talking before I—I do something really stupid."

"Kaya, let me—"

"No."

"Kaya," he continued, ignoring her. "He was there and now he's not. You can see there that he was bleeding. He couldn't have left willingly. There's no trail of blood."

Kaya shook her head. "He could have stopped it. Meaning he could be better."

"Kaya. No, he's not. He looked really bad. I mean... There is no way he could have left on his own. Someone had to have taken him."

"The grounders took him. That's what you're trying to say?" she said bitterly. If that was supposed to make her better, it did the opposite. It only made her hatred grow. Not to the grounders, but to him.

"Look, I know I lied about other things, but I didn't do anything to Thomas. I'm not lying."

"What else have you been lying about? Did you actually come here for Octavia? Or was it because of the murder you thought you committed? Do you even care about your sister, Bellamy?"

"Don't bring Octavia into this," he snarled. "It's not my fault he disappeared. You need to fucking trust me."

"No, I don't have to trust you," she yelled and whirled around, determined to find Thomas on her own. She ignored him and continued walking until he grabbed her shoulder.

"I'm going to find Thomas," Bellamy was saying, but she was done listening to him. "I promise you."

"Don't do anything for me. I don't want anything from you," she croaked.

"If I don't find him, they're going to think I killed him. I'm going to find him."

"Don't talk to me," she warned. Never in her life had she ever been disgusted by someone's presence. "Don't even look at me. I mean it, Bellamy. Don't go near me right now. I can finally see what Finn mean about you."

Walking away from Bellamy, everything was moving in slow motion, just like when she had found Wells body. Nothing made sense and there was nothing to she could do to fix it. She realized she had two options. The first one was to

The first one was to pretend that everything was fine. Thomas wasn't lost. Three hundred people weren't about to die. Grounders didn't want to murder them in their sleep. She was back in her cell, safe and alone. She had to accept that Thomas was probably dead and she needed to go back and help them find the radio.

The other option was to accept the reality. She needed to accept that Thomas was probably dead. That Bellamy had jeopardized the lives of everybody, on Earth and the Ark. And she needed to go back to the river and help everyone find the radio.

"I need to get it together," she muttered, her jacket pushed up as she scratching her right arm viciously, and walked towards the river.

* * *

When Kaya joined the search, everybody had paired up with somebody and was in the water, searching for the radio. She scanned the river for Raven and found her next to Finn, searching near the edge of the river.

Kaya trudged along the water, enjoying the sensation of the water even if it was soaking her only pair of pants. She kicked the small pebbles that were underwater and smiled slightly at the sound they made. She looked around, scared that someone might notice that she was playing around instead of helping out during their crisis. No one seemed to see her and that made her chest ache.

"Shouldn't you be helping?" Bellamy asked, appearing beside her.

Pretending he wasn't there, she turned around and continued with what she was doing. She glared at the water when she saw Bellamy walk beside her.

"I was looking for Thomas."

Despite her promise, she turned to look at him, squinting. Two hours had passed since she left him in the forest and within that short amount, Bellamy looked like he had run for an entire day. His shoulder sagging, and his face was set in a deep frown. She wished he would stay looking like that for the rest of his life. He deserved to look miserable as she felt.

"I didn't find anything," he said after a few seconds when she didn't say anything. "I don't want to imagine what happened to him."

She gritted her teeth and took a step forward and quickly making her lose her footing on a rock. She fell down on her butt into the water. She groaned, the pebbles digging into her skin.

"Kaya! Are you okay?" Bellamy became alarmed and quickly went to help her get up.

"No, no. I'm fine. Let me do this," she said, swatting his hand away. She tried to push herself up and cried out when she felt her skin tear. Blood slowly dribbled down to the clear water, staining it with crimson.

"What the hell? Why are you bleeding?" he demanded, ignoring her protest, and pulling her up. His hands went to her wrists and when he didn't get a reaction, he moved them higher until she hissed. "Fuck, Kaya," he hissed.

"Let me go." She tried to get out of his grip but failed. Her arms hurt and he was too strong. Without asking for her consent, he shoved the sleeves of her jacket to reveal her scarred arms. On her left one that was a fresh wound open with blood seeping out.

"Why do you do this to yourself?"

"Let me go," she repeated.

"This is fresh like it happened about an hour ago. When did you do it? Does someone need to be watching over you all the time?"

"I don't need a babysitter," she hissed and finally managed to get out of Bellamy's grip. They glared at each other, neither willing to back down. She didn't need to explain herself and Bellamy didn't need to get in everybody's business.

"I found it!" someone shouted suddenly. Bellamy instantly looked to who had shouted and scowled when he saw that it was Ezra. Everyone ran towards him, crowding around.

"He found it," Kaya sighed in relief.

"Any idiot would have found the radio," Bellamy said shortly and glanced at Kaya. "It could have been you if you weren't busy playing with the water."

She gave him a dirty look and walked towards the others, with Bellamy at her heels. She stopped next to Raven, and stiffen when she felt Bellamy's body right behind her.

"Can you fix it?" Clarke was asking.

"Maybe," Raven answered distractedly, looking over the radio.

"Even if you could, it'll take half a day just to dry out the everything to see what's broken," Kaya said, looking over her shoulder to get a better look at the radio.

"Yeah, like I said, it's too late," Bellamy said. Kaya threw him a disgusted look. Clarke then started berating Bellamy reminding him that three hundred people were going to die and Bellamy still didn't seem to care.

"You can still do something," Kaya said quietly to Raven. She frowned, shaking her head.

"But what? The radio..."

"Isn't the only way to communicate," Kaya reminded her, raising her eyebrow. Raven's eyes widened and slapped Kaya's arm excitedly.

"Hold up," Raven interrupted and everyone looked at her. "We don't have to talk to The Ark. We just have to let them know we're down here, right?"

"Yeah, but how do we do that with no radio?" Finn asked.

"With flares," Kaya said suddenly and everybody turned to look at her. She fidgeted at the unexpected attention and tried to continued talking. "The rocket has the materials to make them. Raven knows how to do that. That's what she meant. Flares can go far and get the attention we want."

"Can that work?" Clarke demanded, turning expectantly at Raven.

"Hell yeah, it can. If we want to make it work, we need to get to work now." Turning to face the other delinquents, Raven shouted, "Everyone to the pod. Hurry up, we can't waste time."

Almost everyone who had been at the river went to the pod, with the exception of Bellamy who disappeared. Raven instantly started barking orders, pointing at people to get something from the pod. Kaya had been ordered to help Finn with a panel. Without arguing, she went over to him.

"Need a hand?"

"Yeah, this panel is a lot bigger and heavier than I expected. Can you help me with that end?"

She nodded and both reached up to pull down the panel. Slowly, they started walking back to camp. Finn was having a hard time seeing, his hair falling into his face. They had to stop so they could switch spots so they wouldn't accidently fall and break the pannel.

"How much do you wanna bet Raven is going to give me a haircut once she's free?" Finn said.

"No way. I'm going to lose," Kaya said, shaking her head. "How about if she's going to give me a haircut? That one's always a coin toss."

"If she feels inspired, she's going to cut about half of your hair."

"Yes, but have you seen your hair? Yours looks like it can be their own person."

"You can pass as Rapunzel. Remember that story? The girl with the long, blonde hair, locked up in a tower? That is you. She's definitely going to chop it off."

"Oh my god," Kaya groaned and looked at her long, blonde hair that practically reached her waist. "I don't like this game anymore."

Finn grinned at her and she did the same. It wasn't until Finn smile slipped, getting replaced by a frown.

"What am I going to do?" He didn't have to add anything, Kaya already knowing what he was talking about.

"End it with Clarke or ended it with Raven. The options are pretty simple, and so should the choice."

"It's not that simple, Kaya," Finn defended himself. "I thought I was never going to see Raven again. And Clarke... it wasn't just a one-time thing. You know that I told you. It's not an easy choice."

"Whatever. I'm just giving you my opinion."

"Please don't say anything to Raven. I know she's your friend, but this is my problem."

"I wasn't going to say anything. Yet," she added, in case he decided to keep his mouth shut. "And I know. I'm stuck with a hard choice too, Finn. Raven coming here didn't make things harder only for you."

"Does it have to do something with Bellamy?" Kaya didn't say anything which made Finn sigh. "I told you that he's not a good guy. But did you listen to me?"

"Yeah, well you were supposed to be the good guy and you cheated on your girlfriend with Princess. Where am I supposed to get an example of a 'good guy,' Finn?"

"Princess? Did you pick that up from Bellamy?" He frowned disapprovingly.

"Didn't you start calling her that?"

"But I stopped, Bellamy didn't." They had reached the camp forcing them to stop talking. He motioned her to drop the panel gently. "I can take this back. Go and tell Raven that I'll catch up to you so I can help them if they need it."

"Yeah, I'll do that." She stopped and smiled at a horrible thought. "Hey, aren't you a little worried that your girlfriend and the other girl are all alone talking, possibly about you?" Kaya asked. Finn looked horrified.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"It's always a possibility." Over Finn's shoulder, she saw Ezra trying to gain her attention, waving his arms wildly. She smiled at him and raised her hand. He motioned to Finn and mouthed who he was.

_Friend,_ she mouthed. Ezra seemed to relax at that. Kaya smiled in amusement. Ezra appeared to be threatened by the wrong guy when he should have been by the guy he idolized.

"Who's that?" Finn frowned, having followed her gaze and watched their interaction in confusion. "I think I've seen him before."

"His name is Ezra and I'm gonna have sex with him," she decided in that moment.

Finn made a choking sound. "Oh, wow. No, I did not need to know that. There is a line between a boy and girl friendship and you crossed it."

"Really? You can talk about Raven and Clarke and having sex with them and the moment I mention a boy, our relationship is inappropriate? Did you forget puberty?"

"Oh my god," Finn groaned, shaking his head.

"Because I have like five stories where I got to see more of you than I ever wanted. Seriously, that could be one of the reasons why I have issues."

Finn shoved her lightly and she did the same thing.

"He seems like a good guy."

Kaya laughed loudly, throwing her head back. She caught the attention of the few delinquents that were scattered outside, but she was too busy laughing to notice. When she stopped, Finn was looking at her curiously.

"No, he's not," Kaya disagreed. "But at least he won't kill three hundred people."

"I really shouldn't be laughing about that one, but that was a good one," Finn smirked and Kaya nodded in agreement. "Okay, you should go get Raven. She's going to hang us if she finds out we're just hanging out."

Reaching the pod quickly, she saw only a few people there, Raven and Clarke included. Kaya hesitated for a moment when she saw that she would be interrupting a conversation between Clarke and Raven. Luckily for her, Clarke saw her first, looking relieved.

"Sorry," Kaya apologized, walking towards them. "But everything is back at the camp. We're just waiting for you. No one really knows what to do except you, Raven."

"Yeah, sure, let's go. Is Finn at the camp?"

"No. He's waiting for you."

"That's great." Raven grinned at her and stood up. She glanced over her shoulder and did the same to Clarke. "Don't worry, everything is going to work out."

Clarke furrowed her brows, not believing her. Raven didn't notice, already going over to Finn.

"Come on," Kaya said, motioning her to follow her. "We're wasting time."

Kaya ignored the other girl's presences as they walked back to the camp and focused on getting rid of all the sticks that got stuck on her wet clothes.

"You're bleeding." Clarke pointed to the sleeve of her jacket that got stained.

"Fell and one of the rocks cut me."

That's when Clarke went straight to the chase. "You knew he had a girlfriend."

"Maybe."

"And you probably knew that he was fooling around with me."

"Maybe."

"Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"Why didn't you tell anyone about the Ark? Why didn't Bellamy told anyone he shot the Chancellor? We all thought it was for the best, and quite honestly, no one else business."

"But Bellamy did tell someone. He told you. You knew."

"I literally found out a few minutes before you guys. I am not that special. And he didn't tell me, I just overheard him."

"But still. You knew, and he must have known you knew. I'm starting to think that you seem to know a lot more than you act." Clarke narrowed her eyes accusingly.

"Honestly, Clarke. Does it matter what he did? He did it and now he's going to face the consequences. Not us. If you want to live with the guilt that's your choice, but at least you knew you tried."

"You're not just talking about Bellamy?"

"You caught that, didn't you? Good to know. But I will tell you that if you still continue with your relationship with Finn," she warned her, taking a step closer to the other girl, "I might not always be the strongest person, but I will promise you I will hurt you so bad."

"Trust me, it's over."

"And trust me. You tell yourself that and next to you know, you're making yourself that promise again, saying it won't happen again. It's the same cycle and it won't end until one of you guys is literally gone."

Clarke looked bothered by that and Kaya faltered for a second, realizing how true her words were.

* * *

About more than five people were crammed into a tent, Raven in the center. She had been surveying all the material and after being satisfied, she turned to the others.

"Great job, everyone," she said to everyone. "Now that I have everything, I need to get to work. So, everybody, get out. Except you, Kaya, I need your help."

"Oh, okay." She shared a look of confusion with Finn but didn't question Raven's decision. Clarke didn't look happy at the order, but she complied, knowing that it was for the best. She motioned everyone to get out of the tent. Finn looked at Raven and Kaya and silently left the two girls alone.

"Great, just you and me, like old times."

"I used to not like you in the old time, Raven."

In reality, Kaya despised the older girl. It had been a huge surprise when they somehow became really good friends.

Kaya didn't like meeting new people. It brought her a tremor within her and made her become silent and hope for them to leave her alone. She had been surprised that she didn't combust the first day on Earth with everybody around her, shouting, jumping around like lunatics. It had helped that she had parted from the group for the first two days which had helped her adjust to the environment.

So, the first time she met Raven, only eight years old, and she knew that she wasn't going to like her. It could have been because she was insecure that once Finn found someone who was easier to be around, who wasn't afraid of going out and having fun, he would leave her. Raven was the complete opposite of Kaya. Outgoing, talkative, not afraid of anybody, and knew what she wanted.

But when Finn remained by her side and Raven forced herself to become her friend, that's when Kaya put aside her irrational resentment. It was hard to believe that slowly, Raven become someone vital to her life, even when she had gotten arrested. She was one of the people in her entire life, besides Finn, that she felt comfortable telling them how she really felt.

"Seriously, Kaya? Come on."

"Fine, What can I do?" Kaya asked. Raven laughed and threw her a tool that she clumsily cached.

"Okay, we have to work fast and efficiently. I hope you remember everything that I taught you—"

"You never taught me how to build flares," she said seriously.

"Kaya, we don't have time. I need your help. I know you're really worried about Thomas and have other problems, but I need you. Can you help me?"

She knew there was a huge expectation on Raven, and now her, to make the flares work. She didn't like that pressure but forced herself to ignore all her insecurities and do something for a change.

"Of course I'll help you," she said. "Besides, it's not like I can say no to you."

"Damn right." Raven grinned at her, showing off her teeth. "I knew I can count on you. Now, let's see what we got."

Hearing Raven explain what she was supposed to do, Kaya went to work quickly. She was supposed to separate all the materials into piles and place the perfect amount of rocket fuel for each flare. Her hands moved quickly and steadily, not once faltering. She gritted her teeth when she felt a pain come from inside her arm but didn't stop. Three hundred people were counting on them, and she wasn't going to stop for a small cut.

While working, Raven chattered excitedly about everything she did to built and make the pod work. It was obvious Raven was omitting the parts that involved Thomas to not upset Kaya. She appreciated the sentiment, which made her feel worse. Kaya hoped that Finn would tell Raven soon about him and Clarke. After Raven went through, she deserved the truth. As much as the guilt after her, she would keep her promise to Finn and not say a word about Clarke to Raven.

"I'm so glad that you're here," she blurted out when Raven had finished her story. Raven seemed startled by her confession.

"Yeah, me too," she said and eyed her. "You look good, Kaya."

"Really?" Kaya asked doubtfully. "Because I don't feel great. I feel awful, in reality. I don't want to be here with you. I'm sorry, but it's true. I just—I don't know what I want."

"Kaya, it's fine. But you do look good and you might not feel good right now..."

"But I will get to where I'm supposed to be," she said, nodding to herself and started fiddling with a wire. "I know. I'm just having a bad day. Actually, I'm having a bad week. "

"Don't we all have a bad week?" Raven said. "My week hasn't been easy, either. With all the stress of building the pod, and almost getting arrested and crash landing. And you know what sucks? I don't get to enjoy being here. When I imagined being here, I never thought I would spend the first day inside a tent building flares."

"I never thought I would spend my first day here watching a girl almost get killed by this weird water creature. So, I guess Earth isn't that great as we thought."

"Yeah, but who cares? We're here," Raven said excitedly. "So what do you think of this place? If I don't get to experience Earth today, at least I have to hear about it from you."

"It's pretty nice. It's so hard to describe," Kaya answered truthfully. "You need to experience it yourself and see how alive it makes you feel. I don't understand how humanity ruined this planet."

There was no way Kaya could describe how the air was nothing like the Ark air. When they breathed it felt fresh and relaxing. Or how the stars would shine through the thickness of the tree. Or how hard the floor was at night, and it would slowly mold as the night went. There was so much she could say about Earth, yet no words would live up to the reality.

"I seriously can't wait to be outside and enjoying everything I dreamed about."

"Not everything is great," she warned her. "There are really ugly and dangerous parts of Earth, but I like that. It makes it realistic. Nothing is ever perfect."

"Oh, Kaya. Way to make things depressing," Raven teased. "How about we focus on the good things on Earth."

"I did say that it was nice. Hey, is this too short?" She raised a wire that she had cut. "I think it's the right size, but I want to double check."

Raven nodded in approval. "I'm so happy you haven't forgotten what I showed you years ago. You would have made a great mechanic."

"I could've," she agreed quietly.

"And you still can," she argued. "You can become my apprentice and can learn everything. But right now you can help me fix the radio. Right after we do the flares, of course."

"You okay, Kay?"

"Fine. I just need to..." she trailed off, not sure how to explain to Raven why she was bleeding without her jumping to conclusions. "I need to clean myself up. I'm kind of bleeding."

"Did you cut yourself?" she asked cautiously.

"I accidentally tripped when I was on my way to the river," she explained sheepishly. "It opened a few of my old... injuries."

"What injuries?"

"It's been a few rough days."

"Does that injury go back to your cheek?"

Kaya touched her cheek, forgotten that less than a few days she had been slapped. She winced slightly, her cheek still tender.

"Not really," she admitted. "It's a long story."

"But you'll tell me everything when we're done? Right, Kay?"

Kaya smiled at her softly. "Of course, Raven. That is if Finn doesn't."

Raven grinned at her and stopped for a second to throw her a rag. "I still want to hear everything from your point of view. If I ask Finn what he thought of the place he'd be like 'It's pretty nice.'"

"That's how I described the place," Kaya said, offended.

"Yeah, but it's you."

"Do you think Thomas is dead?" Kaya asked quietly after a few seconds. Raven paused from what she was doing and looked at her warily.

"I don't know," Raven frowned. "I don't know that Bellamy guy. He says he didn't do anything to him and I have no idea if I believe him. And then I heard about these grounders and I have no idea what they are but I know they are dangerous."

"Yeah, there's a lot you need to catch up."

"What do you think, Kaya? Do you believe Bellamy?"

"I don't know," she said honestly. "He lies more than he tells the truth."

"He seemed to be really determined for you to believe him. Why?"

"Probably because I'm sort of friends with his sister and if she were to find out he did something to anger me, it would be bad for him."

"Oh my God. He's the guy with the sibling, right? How is she? How do they act around each other?" Raven asked eagerly. "I always wondered how they made it work, with hiding her for a really long time."

"Octavia is really nice. Not like her older brother. But he loves her and would do anything for her. She's the reason why he tried to kill Jaha. He was offered a deal so he could be with Octavia in the dropship and, obviously, he took it."

"Are you serious?"

"Don't tell anyone that," Kaya said quickly. "No one is supposed to know that."

Raven blinked. "Wow. That's some intense love. I mean, from that point of view, every sacrifice he made was for his sister. What he did was out of love, it doesn't make it bad, but he's still an asshole who got my radio."

Kaya nodded in agreement. "Yeah... He's still an asshole. Can we not talk about him anymore?"

Unfortunately for her, that was the moment Bellamy stepped inside the tent. Both girls fell silent, not sure what he wanted. Raven didn't bother to hide her anger towards him. She glared at him, while Kaya pretended that he wasn't there.

"Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear," Raven said snidely. Bellamy gave her a questioning look and shook his head. "What do you want?"

"Clarke wants to know if the flares are ready?"

"Why couldn't she come and tell me herself?" Raven asked and turned around, placing her hands on her hips.

"She's busy."

Kaya looked at him suspiciously.

"Well, whatever, the flare are ready," Raven told him. "Go get Clarke and tell her that we just need to set them up and we're good."

"You're going to have to tell her yourself. Like I said, she's busy. Why do you think I'm here?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Why can't you?"

"She doesn't want to see my face." Bellamy shrugged, not really caring. He glanced briefly at Kaya before looking back at Raven expectantly. Raven groaned and dropped what she was holding and stomped over to where Bellamy was.

"You stay," Raven ordered Kaya. "I don't trust leaving this tent empty alone with _him_. Might try to sabotage us again."

"I helped," Bellamy reminded her.

"Yeah, but was throwing the radio more important than saving three hundred innocent lives?"

Bellamy glared at her. "Just go get Clarke. You're wasting your time."

With one last glare, Raven stepped out of the tent, leaving Kaya and Bellamy alone. Kaya still hasn't said a word, playing with the leftover material. She frowned unhappily when Bellamy walked over to her, the makeshift table serving as a barrier. She turned her head to the side, refusing to acknowledge him.

"Did you do this?" He picked up one of the flares and examined it. She leaned over and snatched it, putting it back with the others.

"Don't touch them," she ordered. She was silent for a few seconds before she added, "I helped with separating the materials. Raven did most of the work."

"I doubt anybody could have done what you did. She kicked everyone out, except you.

She didn't say anything else and neither did he. She started cleaning up the mess she made, making a scrap pile, knowing that Raven would make use of the leftovers.

"Why'd you do it?" she asked, breaking their tense silence. Despite all the resentment she had towards him, there was so much she wanted to say. She always kept quiet and now that she had a chance to say something, she wasn't going to let go.

Bellamy froze and for a second, she thought that he wouldn't answer her.

"I don't think when I do things that involve Octavia," Bellamy finally said. "All I think about is her and what I should do. I don't think about the consequences, and how nothing else matters. My sister, my responsibility."

"People do stupid things for those who they love," Kaya said stiffly, remembering hearing Bellamy tell Octavia about his deal or Raven telling her the truth about what happen in Finn's arrest, or Raven almost dying for Finn. "I don't understand why they do it, knowing that the person they love will get hurt. But I guess that's love. Stupid people doing stupid things to prove their stupid love."

"You've never done something stupid for someone who you loved?"

She paused and reluctantly turned to face Bellamy. He was wearing a blank expression, careful to not show how he was actually feeling. She wondered how people could do that. Hide their feelings and not feel like they were about to explode. Finn called her the book of tears. Everyone knew that she was feeling something, but it was so jumbled that no one really knew what she felt.

"I don't understand why they do it," she answered, "knowing that the person they love will get hurt. But I guess that's love. Stupid people doing stupid things to prove their stupid love. That's so stupid."

"What about Thomas? You were determined to find him all on your own when you knew you could get hurt? What's that? Because I can tell you that was an incredibly stupid thing you wanted to do."

"It's called paying a debt him. He saved my life one time and I owe him the same."

"I knew Thomas," Bellamy admitted.

"You were actually part of the guard?" she questioned skeptically.

"Sometimes it's not that hard to forget that I used to be someone respectable," he said bitterly. "We weren't really friends, but he was a pretty popular guard. Everybody liked him, even me. We hanged out a few times. I was surprised when he vouched for me when my sister was caught. Even not knowing me that well, he tried to help me out. He got me a janitor job when I lost my position as a guard." He paused and sighed. "I owe him a lot too."

"Then it must be killing you for being the reason he could be dead."

Bellamy narrowed his eyes and slammed his hands on the table making her flinch. "What the fuck, Kaya? I'm trying to apologize for what I die and you're being a bitch for no reason."

Kaya opened her mouth to defend herself, but never got a chance because Raven walked into the tent with Clarke in tow.

"What the hell was that?" Raven asked, looking at Bellamy accusingly. Neither answered her, making Raven suspicious.

"What are we going to do now?" Clarke asked, walking towards the table Kaya was it. Raven quickly explained what to do next, pointing to everything that she had done with Kaya's help. That's when Kaya decided that she was no longer needed.

Catching Raven's eye, she pointed to the door and was about to leave when Bellamy stepped to the side and handed her a bloody rag, the one she had been pressing to her arm. She silently took it from him and went to the door.

Kaya didn't miss the strange look that Raven was giving her as if she was trying to understand a difficult puzzle.

Outside, the sky was slowly becoming darker. If they wanted to have the flares ready in time, they needed to start setting them up as soon as possible.

Kaya didn't know what to do next, there was no one she had to talk to. Raven was busy, ordering people around. Finn was at her side, helping as much as she could. Octavia was nowhere to be seen, she probably was still hiding from her brother. Bellamy was never an option.

She decided that if she wanted to stand awkwardly, she do it in a more secluded area where people weren't bumping into her every few seconds. She was hopeful that the flares would work. Besides the fact that Raven worked her ass off, trying to make sure they worked and wanted all her hard work to be worth it, Kaya found it unfair for all those people in the Ark to die.

Kaya might not have anyone left in the Ark, but she knew that the other delinquents did have family, friends back in the Ark. What they did to them could have been considered morally wrong, but the civilians probably didn't have a say on the choice. Looking around, it seemed that the sacrifice of the delinquents might not have been in vain.

* * *

The loud noises that flares made when they were shooting towards the dark sky made Kaya jumped. It had completely not crossed her mind of that possibility and by the second flare, she was as far as possibly, covering her ears.

"Hey, there, cool girl. I hear you helped out with the flares." She smiled when she saw Ezra stand beside her.

"Yeah, I did help," she said proudly. "These cuts are the living proof." She raised her hands to show them to Ezra. They were covered in small bandages. "But I hear that I'm not the only one that did something impressive. I saw that you found the radio, so I guess we're both pretty cool."

"I know," he said excitedly. "Everyone keeps congratulating me and saying that I probably saved everyone. I mean, I just found the radio, but I guess I did help out. I wished that Bellamy would say something to me."

Kaya tensed at the mention of their irresponsible leader. "I wouldn't count on it," she advised. "He's too busy with his issues."

Ezra shrugged. "It was worth a shot. I might have made him angry for not volunteering in the search of the pod, but how the hell was I supposed to know that they made a search party. I'm not one of Bellamy's guys."

"You do know Bellamy's an asshole, right? There's only one person he cares about, and that's his sister. The rest of us, we mean nothing to him."

"I know he's a selfish asshole. Everyone knows that, but he has power and with power comes perks. I mean, I would like to know what's going on around here and for me to know, I gotta be at Bellamy's side."

She frowned, remembering that she had a similar idea when she realized that Bellamy was the one in charge. But she would never kill someone, unlike Ezra.

"I would kill to be Bellamy's, right-hand man."

Kaya looked at him, slightly disturbed at his choice of words. Ezra didn't seem to notice, too busy staring at the sky. She did the same and closed her eyes. She overheard someone next to her, saying that they could make a wish with the flares. Kaya couldn't see how that was possible, but it didn't hurt to try.

_I wish for... things to sort themselves out,_ she decided, picking a vague wish that could be applied to everything terrible that was going on.

"Kaya."

"Huh?" She reluctantly opened her to look at Ezra. He smiled at her and she did the same.

"Do you want to go somewhere else?" he suggested. She was surprised at his forwardness and she had to force herself to speak.

"Like your tent?" she blurted out, feeling slightly embarrassed. "For the rest of the night?"

"Yeah, or yours, I share mine with two other guys," he said. "I mean, this is what you meant right?"

"I think so."

"Great. So tent or we could sneak out? I know there's a whole where some people use to sneak out."

She hesitated and her eyes went to Clarke who was standing next to Bellamy. She reluctantly looked at him. He didn't look happy, a frown set on his face. Kaya turned to face Ezra.

"This is...? It's serious, right? I mean, I want to tell you that I've fooled around with other guys here and I want to know what you're expecting."

"I don't but, I have fooled around with a girl too," he said and pointed to a dirty blonde that was a few feet away. It seemed Ezra had a type. "She wasn't fun."

"And I'm tons of fun," she said sarcastically.

"You are and a way better kisser than her." Ezra grinned at her and went to grab her hand. "Come on. Let's go to my tent."

She looked over her shoulder and wasn't surprised when she caught Bellamy's eyes. He looked at her before his eyes went over her. A look crossed his face and he looked back at her. He raised his eyebrow as if he was challenging her. She gave him a shrug and turned her head towards Ezra.

At the tent, both of them sat in silence, not sure what to do. She decided to take off her sweater and then her shirt, leaving just a tank top.

"Holy shit. What happened to your arms? One of them is still bleeding," Ezra said, his eyes on her arms and looked slightly uncomfortable. She had completely forgotten about the. "I didn't know you did that. I..."

"Yeah, I guess I should have mentioned them, but does it matter?" Her expression darkened and he quickly backpedaled.

"Not that I care. Hey, if you liked to cut, then I'm cool with it. It's your life, not mine. I don't care."

Instead of his words comforting her, it bothered her. "I don't like doing it," she said tersely, setting him straight. "But we're not here for that, so why don't you shut up and take off your shirt."

* * *

**Ah, I hope you guys aren't too upset with what I did in this chapter, but it had to be done. But don't worry, things will soon get better.**

**Because it's a new year, and hopefully a better one, I really want to work on my updating. Mostly because it bothers me that I don't have a schedule so it's always irregular updates. But now I have a better update plan so I hope I stick with it and in the future, you'll see more updates.**

**Thanks to everybody who updated, favorite, and followed. I'm sorry if you reviewed and I didn't respond, I have been all over the place. Next time I will respond. And can you believe that I'm almost up to 200 follows? That's insane and makes me very happy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the 100. I only own anything original. **


	12. To Be The Bad Guy

**We all know what I'm going to say: I'm sorry for the long wait (like seriously, I'm super sorry), but life gets in the way and huge writer's block which sucks so much when it comes to updating.**

**I'm not super satisfied with this chapter, but if I keep looking at it, I will like it even less. So, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter more than I did writing it :)**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: To Be The Bad Guy**

* * *

Kaya's first kiss had been with Finn. But it wasn't a real kiss. At least that was what Raven had told her when she admitted to the older girl when asked about her first kiss. According to Raven a real kiss lasted longer than a second and there was lip movement. With Finn, he simply had pressed his lips chastely against her for less than a second. It wasn't that exciting, but it had been special.

Raven had also told Kaya that the first time having sex, should be special but it will never be.

"I mean, my first time was with Finn, and it still wasn't that great," fifteen-year-old Raven had told thirteen-year-old Kaya. "The second time was much better. The first time is like a warm-up for the real deal. So don't stress about it if you don't like your first time. I mean it, relax, Kaya."

At the time, Kaya, obviously, stressed out about the notion of sex and how she was going to be disappointed. How could she not? Another disappointment to look forward. But the stress didn't last long, as she moved on to a new problem; being arrested.

Now, Kaya could see what Raven meant. The first time wasn't that great. A part of her wished she had thought her choice more clearly, but unfortunately, Kaya hadn't and now had to deal with her actions.

Kaya lost track at how long she had been staring at the tent ceiling but honestly didn't care. She'd rather have no idea how much time has passed than be aware of how long Ezra and she had laid in an awkward silence.

"Well, this was kinda interesting," Ezra said after a long silence.

Kaya shrugged and shifted, feeling the same pain as earlier, but that time duller. She didn't remember Raven telling her about that pain from their previous conversations about sex. Kaya never wanted Raven to go into too many details, knowing her only experience came from Finn, but she did try to listen to the important parts.

Kaya continued fiddling with her blanket, trying to say something to make up the awkwardness. She wished that Ezra would leave, but after their messy attempt of having sex, she felt like she should try to make it up and let him hang out. It was partially her fault she halted everything.

"Maybe we can try again," he suggested when she didn't say anything.

"Yeah, maybe," she agreed half-heartedly, not sure if that was going to happen again, and looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry about earlier. I was... um, actually, I don't know why I'm talking, I don't really have something to say. I just want things to get awkward, but I guess they are. I'm sorry, I guess that's what I should say and shut up."

"It's fine," he said and looked up to the tent ceiling. "I'm sorry too. It's my fault."

"Why? Is there something that I missed?" she said, glancing at him suspiciously. He shrugged, not answering her question. He instead started leaning in and was about to kiss her when the tent door flapped open.

"Kaya, get out—"

"What the fuck, asshole—oh, shit, fuck, Bellamy. What are you doing here?" Ezra angry expression turned into an embarrassed one. Kaya looked up and scowled when she saw Bellamy's head poking inside the tent.

"What the hell, Bellamy? You can't just barge in like you own this place. Get out," she said harshly.

For a brief second, Bellamy looked surprised to see that she wasn't alone but seemed to get over it quickly. "Whatever," he muttered to himself and turned his attention to Kaya. "Get dressed, I need to talk to you."

Kaya sighed impatiently. "Bellamy, I'm in the middle—"

"Now, Kaya. This is important. It's about Octavia."

She was half tempted to tell him to go screw himself, still angry at him, but hearing the urgency in his voice, made her falter. She was silent for a moment, before saying, "Alright, get out. I'll be there."

"What the hell was that about?" asked Ezra the moment Bellamy was out of the tent. She didn't miss the glance Bellamy threw to Ezra.

"I have no idea," she admitted, and and quickly started picking up her clothes and putting them on, "but if I want to get rid of him, I should talk to him."

Ezra frowned, displeased that she was leaving him for Bellamy again. "He seems to expect you're always going to drop everything for him. Which I guess seems to be the thing. Bellamy calls and you're there."

Kaya didn't like the accusing tone of his voice. She didn't drop everything for Bellamy. The only reason she was going to talk to him in the middle of the night was because of Octavia. If it had been for another reason, she would have dismissed him. But she wasn't going to argue with Ezra about Bellamy. It was stupid and just wasted her time.

"Think of whatever you want," she told him coolly. "I'm gonna go."

"Wait... are you mad?" Ezra scrambled to sit up. "I didn't mean to sound like an asshole, but from my point of view, it just gives me the wrong idea."

Kaya shook her head and turned around. She heard Ezra call her name out, but she was already out of the tent. Bellamy was right in front of the tent, close enough to hear everything that had been going on the tent. But if he heard anything, he didn't say anything.

"Where's Octavia?" he immediately demanded. "She hasn't come back."

"Octavia is not here? Oh, crap. I—I don't know where Octavia is," she admitted. "She said she needed to be alone and after everything that was happening, I forgot about her."

Bellamy glanced at the tent and went back to looking at her. "Yeah, you were busy."

"Bellamy, she's fine. She's fine, she's just lost," Kaya reasoned, but even she had a hard time believing what she said. Even if Octavia was lost, it was dangerous. She could wander off farther from camp, or trip over a root and break a leg, or run into a savage animal. There were so many horrible possibilities of what could have happened to Octavia, but Kaya knew she didn't have to voice them out loud.

Nothing could compare to what Bellamy was probably thinking. His face gave away her anguish. Kaya could only offer so much reassurance to Bellamy. Kaya felt bad for Bellamy, her anger towards him faltering for a brief second. She remembered her harsh words about Octavia.

_"Do you even care about Octavia?"_

She winced and tried to not look guilty. She should not have said that. Everybody could see how much Bellamy loved his sister and would do anything for her.

"Bellamy," Kaya said, as gently as possible. "You need to relax and focus."

Bellamy exhaled. "Can you look around?" he asked after a tense second. "I looked, but maybe I missed her, or…"

"Yeah. I'll do that," she agreed immediately. He started walking away from her when she grabbed his arm. "Hey, hold on. What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to look for her," he said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"Alone? Bellamy, you can't be serious."

"Well, what else do you want me to do?" he snapped. "I need to find her. She can be hurt or... or... or…"

"She's fine, she's probably lost," she quickly said seeing Bellamy's face twist into a pitiful look that it even pained Kaya. "But how about asking for some help?"

"Who? You?"

Kaya ignored his rudeness and extended her arms, motioning to everybody around them. "They literally worship you, use that fact to your advantage."

Bellamy paused and glanced around the camp. He grimaced, making her pity him even more.

"They won't go. After what I did," he said, his voice full of despair. "It's all my fault. Octavia, the radio, the Chancellor. Damn it, fuck." Without warning, he punched the tree next to them. Kaya flinched and took an automatic step from him, just to be on the safe side. Bellamy noticed her reaction and frowned. "I'm sorry. I wasn't going to hurt you."

She shook her head. "No, I just—never mind. Bellamy, give them some credit. They'll get over it. Besides, they'll do it for Octavia. Everybody seems to like her. I like her if that makes you feel any comfort."

He sighed and rubbed his face in frustration. "Do you think you can get Finn to go with me? He's the only tracker that I know. But he doesn't exactly like me. And now I'm realizing neither do you... so I'm screwed."

"You're incredibly lucky that I do like Octavia. I'll talk to him," Kaya said, and really hoped that Finn was sleeping and not doing anything else with Raven. Although, from Raven's recent bitter discovery, she doubted anything could be happening.

"Ezra can get his friends to go with you," Kaya offered.

"Speaking for him now?" Bellamy asked. She glared at him and turned towards her tent. Ezra, fully clothed, was stepping out that moment and catching her eye, she motioned him to join them.

"What's going on?" Ezra asked when he joined them and shot Bellamy a weary look.

"You're coming with me," Bellamy ordered.

"What, why? What's going on?" Ezra looked at both, frowning in confusion.

"You said next time we go out, you would join us," Bellamy reminded him. "Well, now it's the next time. Go round up your friends and tell them to meet up in front. We're leaving in thirty minutes."

"Where are we going?"

"Just do it and you'll find out."

Ezra glanced at Kaya, who him a reassuring smile. Still unsure, Ezra nodded and with one last confused look towards Bellamy, he went to find his friends.

"Does he even have any friends?" Bellamy asked her.

"Don't worry, people are going to go. I really hope you find your sister, Bellamy," Kaya said softly. She tried to ignore the guilt that was growing inside of her. She had been the one that allowed Octavia run off when she had been angry. She should have tried harder to convince her to stay.

"I will find her," he said with a steely determination.

"You should probably go to Clarke for help," she said. For a second, Bellamy faltered. "She'll help. Clarke is all about protecting the people."

Without another word towards her, Bellamy left, hopefully, to ask for to Clarke. Kaya hesitated for a moment, afraid she might walk into something unpleasant. But when she didn't hear anything concerning, she approached the tent.

"Finn? Finn, are you awake?" she called out hesitantly. She paused, waiting for a reply. She frowned and was about to call Finn's name again when she saw there was a slight shuffle inside the tent. Seconds later, Finn's head popped out.

"What's wrong?" he asked, stepping out of the tent.

"Who is it?" Raven called her out from inside.

"It's just Kaya. Let me talk to her and see what she wants."

If it had been another occasion, Kaya would have made a snide comment on how Raven's only been on Earth for less than twelve hours, and she was already the third wheel. Typical.

"Finn, I need to talk to you."

He was about to say something but got caught off by Raven. "Ask her to come in after you guys are done talking. She needs a haircut too."

"No," Kaya said quickly and tugged on Finn's arm urgently. "Can you give us a second? I need to speak to Finn. Like now."

"Oh, yeah, sure." Kaya could see Raven's shadow nod, and Kaya pulled Finn away from the tent. Her mind was churning. Raven was too cheerful for someone who was just told they were cheated on.

"I guess, I won the bet," Finn grinned at her. When he noticed her serious expression, his smile faltered. "What's wrong?"

"I just—I'm confused. It seems she took it well," she said. "I mean, I wouldn't trust someone with something sharp in my face after I told them something terrible.

"Hmm, well..." Finn had the audacity to give her a shrug as if him cheating on his girlfriend wasn't a big deal.

Kaya glared at Finn. "You're fucking unbelievable."

"Me? Kaya, come on. I was going to tell her, but I just can't. I hate myself for not telling her. But, maybe it's better if she doesn't know. Between me and Clarke it's over, Clarke's made it clear."

"You're such a..." She grunted, frustrated at everything. Why do things always to be so complicated? Why couldn't she just have one friend? Why did she have to please people? Why did she have to be alive? Why couldn't everything just stop?

"Hey, Kaya. You okay? I'll do it. Just don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you," she said tiredly.

"Oh. Please," Finn snorted. "That's the only emotion you feel towards me nowadays."

Kaya pressed her mouth in a thin line, knowing that if she snapped something, they would get into a fight. She needed to focus on what mattered. Octavia and her safety.

"Finn," she said after counting to five and relaxing her stance, "I need you to listen to me. Something bad happened to Octavia and they need your tracking skills."

"Wait, hold on. What do you mean something happened to Octavia?"

"She's missing, and Bellamy is making a search party. He needs your help. She's badly hurt. She could die," she explained quickly. She winced at the exaggeration, but she needed to guilt Finn into going with Bellamy. "They're going to leave any second and are going to need your help."

"Alright," he agreed slowly, eyeing her suspiciously. "I'll get my stuff."

"Thank you," she said and went to find Bellamy.

After she found him and told him the good news, everything was set in motion. After a few minutes of chaos, Bellamy managed to wake up everybody in the camp and was looking for volunteers for the search party. Kaya had briefly considered volunteered to be part of the search party but dismissed it. She knew her strengths, and walking at night in the forest was not one of them. She would be more helpful here with Raven.

It seemed that a lot of people were having the same thoughts as Kaya. They were hesitant to join Bellamy, but despite the nerves, there was an excited chatter running around the camp. Kaya could hear snippets of what they were saying when she made her way towards the gates. It didn't matter what she heard, everybody was talking about one thing:

Octavia.

"I mean, if she's out there, she's probably dead," Kaya overheard someone say.

"I know. Have you seen her? She wouldn't survive an hour alone. I'm only going cause I heard the forest looks pretty cool at night."

"Yeah, me too."

Kaya felt her stomach knot at how careless they spoke about Octavia. Most of the delinquents that were going with Bellamy was for the thrill of being in the forest at night. None of them seemed to be going for Octavia. If she heard one more person say that Octavia was dead, well, she wouldn't say anything to them, but it would only make her grow more anxious.

Kaya wrung her hands, and looked around, hoping she could talk to someone. She couldn't spot anybody she knew. She was surprised that Bellamy wasn't by the gate. He must be trying to recruit more people. Kaya went on her toes, craning her neck and brightened when she finally saw a familiar face. Despite their last conversation not ending well, Kaya was glad to spot Ezra. Without much thought, she made her way through the crowd towards him.

"Dax," one of them said, nudging Ezra in the ribs. She frowned and stayed in her spot, and Ezra soon walked up to her, giving her a grim smile.

"Hey. What's up?"

"What was that?" She pointed to his friend who was joining the search group, confused at the strange name that Ezra was called by.

"What do you mean?"

"Why did he call you Dax?"

"Oh, the name you mean?" When she nodded, Ezra hung his head, looking slightly embarrassed at the discovery. "Yeah, I hope you wouldn't find about that stupid nickname."

"Your nickname is Dax?" For some reason, she found herself smiling at the discovery. Misinterpreting her smiles as her making fun of him, Ezra glared at her.

"Hey, some people get called Blondie." And to make a point her tugged a lock of her blond hair. She swatted his hand away, always hating when someone would do that. "Or nutty or crazy."

Kaya smiled dropped, replaced with a frown. "People call me nutty?"

Ezra quickly backpedaled, realizing his mistake. "Maybe. But others get called Dax. Like me."

"Okay, fine. I don't find that nickname stupid, not at all. I just want to know why Dax?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I can't even remember. But back in the Ark, I went more by Dax, even my mom called me that. I'm trying to drop it here because I got thinking while I was arrested that it's kinda of a stupid nickname. So far, I've been doing an okay job. Some people who knew me before still call me that."

"Dax," Kaya enunciated slowly and wrinkled her nose. "You're right. It's a terrible nickname."

Ezra shot her a withering look. "Shut up. I know it's a shitty nickname and I can't believe you know it now."

"And I can't believe you let people call you that," she shot back, and just like that, their conversation stopped, leaving an awkward silence between them. In that moment, Kaya was noticing that Ezra and her didn't have a lot to talk about. Their conversations always stopped after a few minutes.

"Anyways," Ezra cleared his throat and shuffled around. "What did you want to tell me? That's why you wanted to talk to me, right?"

"Oh, yeah. I feel silly telling you this right now. It's kinda stupid, but it's bothering me and I feel like it will get worse if I don't say anything. What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry, Ezra. Tonight, was terrible. I stopped the sex and then Bellamy walked in on us, sort of. And then I left, and you're being dragged by Bellamy. I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's fine," he dismissed her, but it was painfully obvious that it wasn't. She wasn't sure what was bothering him, and Kaya didn't get a chance to question him.

"Hey, Dax, we gotta go man. Bellamy wants all hands on deck," one of Ezra's friends said and ran off to inform more people.

"Shit, gotta go," Ezra said and after a second of hesitation, he kissed her. Kaya blinked in surprised, but didn't have a chance to process how she felt about the unexpected PDA when Bellamy started speaking to everyone.

"Hey, everybody, gather around and grab a weapon. My sister's been out there alone for twelve hours. Arm up. We're not coming back without her."

In that moment, a murmur broke out. People were pointing to the sky. Kaya craned her neck, trying to get a glimpse of the white streaks were all over the dark night. From where she was, Kaya could see Raven talking angrily at Bellamy, who looked torn. She didn't need to hear what they were talking about.

The Ark hadn't seen the flares. All their hard work had been for nothing.

She already had a feeling that they weren't going to reach the Ark on time. Luck was never on their side Kaya had come to discover and felt sorry for whoever had lost someone. Kaya was glad that everybody that she cared about was on Earth.

"May we meet again," Kaya murmured.

Kaya continued to observe Bellamy walk away from Raven and Clarke and started talking again to the delinquents. He made it clear that returning without Octavia was not an option.

"What are we waiting for? Move out!" Bellamy yelled. Everybody in the search party started making their way out of the camp. Bellamy stopped in front of Kaya. "You're coming with us," he said.

"No, I'm not."

"No, she's not," Finn agreed with her, going between Bellamy and her, and gave Bellamy a hard look. "She's staying with Raven."

"She was the last person who saw Octavia. She saw where she went. We _need_ her," Bellamy stressed. "How are we going to find Octavia?"

Kaya sighed and tried to explain patiently, "Bellamy, as much as I want to help you find Octavia, I can't. I don't remember where I was. Everything looks the same. Besides, she could have gone a different direction. I'm useless. I'd only be a liability."

Bellamy looked torn, his eyes boring into Kaya. When he saw that she wasn't going to change her mind, he sighed.

"Come on, let's go," Bellamy told Finn and went to join the search party. While Kaya was staring at Bellamy's retreating back, wishing she would have said something to him, had been talking.

"... while you're going with them," Finn said, motioning towards Raven and Clarke. Kaya snapped out of her thoughts and glared at Finn.

"No, I'm not going with them, the girlfriend and the other girl. I know what you're trying to do. I am not going to do all of your dirty work, be the bad guy while you get to lay back and play hero."

"What? No, Kaya. I just want you to be there to make sure nothing bad happens."

"Hey," Bellamy yelled, trying to get the attention of Finn. "Let's go. Everybody's gone. We're just waiting on you."

"I'm going," Finn yelled back and turned to Kaya and gave her a pleading look. "Just, please stay with them. I swear I will tell Raven when I come back."

"Just go," Kaya said, crossing her arms, irritated that she was covering Finn's mistake again. "I can't believe I get to be the bad guy."

"God, are you two arguing with each other? Come on guys," Raven said, joining them and pushed Finn towards the direction of Bellamy. "Be careful. Hey. I love you."

"I love you, too," Finn said, looking pained saying those words.

"Love you, too, Finny," Kaya said sarcastically. Finn shot her a dirty look and shook his head. Both girls watched Finn go to Bellamy and say something to them. Kaya was the first one to look away and glanced at Raven. When the other girl caught her, she grinned at Kaya.

"It's this way," Clarke said briskly, and without checking if Kaya and Raven heard her, she walked away. Sharing a look, both girls followed Clarke.

* * *

The forest was too dark, making it nearly impossible for them to see what was in front of them. But fortunately, they had enough torches and some of the moonlight to allow them to know where the trees are.

Now, Bellamy was leading the group, taking them to the last place he remembered Octavia was, with Finn close to his side because of his tracking skills. Next to him stood the guy that Kaya had been spending her time with, Eddie or Eric. He couldn't remember but honestly, he couldn't care less. He was unimportant, but Finn to think the opposite.

Bellamy sighed impatiently at the slow pace they were going, due to Finn's insistence. Bellamy might be the one in front, but Finn was the one making the shots. He wanted to go slow in case he found something that could help them. Bellamy didn't argue, more than willing to give up his power if it meant finding his sister.

Bellamy was trying to focus on the steps in front of him, but it wasn't enough to stop his mind from wandering to Octavia. No matter what Clarke and Kaya reassured about how everything was going to okay, that Octavia was still bored, he kept imagining the worst.

Bellamy tried to focus on something that wasn't his sister. She was fine, just a lost. He didn't have to worry too much about Octavia, she was fine.

In that moment, Finn's voice interrupted Bellamy's morbid thoughts. He glanced to his left and saw Finn grilling the Eddie guy. Whoever he was, all Bellamy knew about him was that he wasn't a good guy. He hadn't been lying to Kaya when he said that guy had killed someone.

The first day there, he had ordered Murphy and a few others to scope out the delinquents and find out which ones were a threat. And Eddie turned out to be one of them. Murdered someone out of a fit of anger. Was going to be floated in two weeks before they got sent to Earth. He had been willing to work for Bellamy.

_Dax, _Bellamy realized. _His name is Dax. That's why I got confused. Stupid name. Dax. What the hell is wrong with these people?_

Bellamy gave a side glance to the younger boys and sighed in frustration. Despite the conversation being stupid and pointless, it served as a distraction. It had him thinking about something that wasn't his sister corpse. He reluctantly turned his attention towards them.

Finn was shorter than Dax or whatever his name was but somehow carried himself like he was taller. He wasn't afraid to mess with someone bigger and more dangerous than him for his friend.

"I heard someone call you by Dax," Finn was telling the guy, "but Kaya told me your name is Ezra. Why did you lie to her?"

"Ezra is my name," he responded, sounding slightly annoyed. "Dax is a nickname. I'm sorry if I didn't want to tell her my nickname."

"Can you still track while you're interrogating Kaya's boyfriend?" Bellamy asked coldly, joining the conversation.

Finn didn't bother looking back to him. "It's called multitasking. Relax, Blake. I can still find your sister and question Dax, who's not Kaya's boyfriend."

"I prefer Ezra," the other guy added unnecessarily. Both Finn and Bellamy gave him dark looks. "And yeah, I'm not her boyfriend."

"Good," Finn said.

"Didn't you kill someone?" Bellamy asked bluntly.

Ezra stiffened at the question and reluctantly answered. "It was an accident. I might have some anger issues and he stole from me and I lost it. It was an accident. I didn't mean to hurt him."

Bellamy snorted at his poor choice of words.

"Still have those anger issues?" Finn asked skeptically. "Because you've been spending way too much time with my best friend and I don't like that."

Bellamy couldn't help and look at Finn curiously. He was confused by Kaya and his relationship. Every time he saw them, they were either arguing or glaring at each other. He hadn't believed her when she said they had been friends a long time.

He thought they had hooked up. Despite the shyness Kaya claimed to have, she didn't seem afraid to throw herself in front of a guy. She did that with him and was doing that with the Ezra guy. It bothered him that she seemed to prefer him over Bellamy. He wasn't used to be tossed to the side. It was him who would do that, not the other way around.

But earlier he saw them joking around, looking like best friends, and, finally, he saw how much they seemed to care about each other. Finn would do anything for her and same went to Kaya. Bellamy couldn't hear what they were saying, but it was clear they were joking around, with the rare grin Kaya wore.

It must be painful for them to be at odds all the time, Bellamy had thought ruefully. Maybe Earth had the tendency to make people turn against each other. He and Octavia used to be close, and now all they do is fight like cats and dogs. His chest tightened at the reminder of his little sister.

He shook his head and tried to relax. "Anything."

"I'll tell you if I find something," Finn said distractedly, his attention more on Dax than on the ground. "Have been in a fight that almost got someone killed since you got here?" he questioned Dax.

"Have I—really? You think I'm going to murder her?"

"Are you?" Bellamy asked, raising an eyebrow, and tighten his grip on his torch. One more stupid thing coming out from Dax and Bellamy was going to lose it.

"I'm not going to kill her," Dax snapped. Finn glared at him, not believing him.

"Kaya sure knows how to pick them," Bellamy muttered. He was surprised when Finn looked over at him.

"Yeah, she seems to go from bad to worse," Finn said, eyeing Bellamy warily. The conversation suddenly ended, forcing Bellamy to face the harsh reality.

"Wait," Bellamy silenced them and looked around the forest, his boy tense. "Did you hear that?"

Everyone immediately tensed up and raised their weapons, ready to attack the Grounders. Bellamy strained to hear any other noise but didn't. Maybe he imagined it, he thought and tried to ease the tension from his shoulders. He was about to order everybody to continue when he heard the same noise.

"Everybody, don't more," he ordered, sensing their panic. "Do not do anything."

"Bellamy," Finn said quietly, moving closer to him and focusing on the part where the noise came from. "I don't think it's a grounder."

"Then what the hell it is it?" Bellamy gritted. A part of him prayed it was Octavia, but he wasn't that lucky.

He could see something approaching them and for a second, Bellamy was thrown off. The figure didn't resemble a grounder, they were too small and too loud. Bellamy took a tentative step and put the torch in front of him, to get a clearer view.

What he saw was the last thing he expected to see that night.

"Shit," Bellamy breathed. "Thomas."

* * *

Kaya smiled, finding Raven's reaction and appreciation towards Earth endearing. She tried to recall if that's how she acted her first day there, but the strongest emotion she could remember was the thrill of not being confined by walls. She had been finally free and that was the best feeling in the world.

But Kaya did feel slight embarrassment remembering how excited she had been to finally touch a tree. So, she decided to not call out Raven for fawning over how smooth some of the rocks where.

"Have you been drawing lately?" Raven asked out of nowhere, picking up a rock and throwing it to the side. She grinned in satisfaction at the noise it made when it hit a tree. Kaya wordlessly handed her another rock and Raven did the same thing, hitting a branch.

"You do know that my artistic abilities go as far as making angry lines all over the paper and perfect circles?"

Raven laughed and bumped her shoulder with Kaya's. "Please, I wish I could do a circle that round. But seriously, drawn anything good? Like a tree? I know you've got an unhealthy obsession with trees."

"No," Kaya snorted and pushed a branch to the side to avoid getting poked in the eye. "I don't have anything to draw with. Drawing is the least of my concerns. I was more worried yesterday in finding the radio."

"Ah, yes. That's the trouble of the youth," Raven said.

"What are you talking about? You're still part of the youth," Kaya reminded her flatly and when she had to jump over a large rock, she winced at the movement. She had to move slowly, trying to ignore the pain between her legs. She chose the wrong night to lose her virginity.

"Are you okay?" Raven asked, glancing at her in concern.

"Yeah. Just a little stiff."

"Why?"

"I'll tell you later," she muttered and nodded her head towards Clarke, having no intentions to telling Raven about her liaisons in front of the Princess. Raven nodded knowingly and moved on from the topic.

"So, what you've been doing here? Besides running for your life?"

"I've been trying to get back there, you know. Doing those things that I missed. Watching Finn be an idiot, talk to one person a day. It's hard because I prefer to be alone, but sometimes the people aren't that bad," Kaya teased, earning an eye roll from Raven.

Again, Raven paused to admire a batch of flowers.

"They're so beautiful," she breathed and grabbed one. Kaya smiled and took it from Raven's hand, placing the ear behind her ear.

"Yeah, some of them you can eat," Kaya told her. "Unfortunately, I found out the hard way." She wrinkled her nose, vividly remembering the fear that shot through her body when she remembered Monty little joke. She patted her pocket and felt a little lump, making her feel at ease.

Behind them, Clarke sighed impatiently. "Raven, I know you just got here yesterday, but we don't have time for this. Come on."

"Not to be rude," Kaya said, "but they already killed over three hundred people, I doubt they're going to do that again tonight. That's even a little too drastic for the Ark."

"What's your point of this?"

"What I'm trying to say is can't you give Raven ten seconds to appreciate this?" Kaya said, motioning to their beautiful surrounding, and feeling bold, added, "That's the least you can do for her after everything, right?"

Clarke clenched her jaw, furious that Kaya used the fact that she slept with Finn against her.

"I get that, but we have more important matters than fight over petty things," Clarke said curtly. "Now let's go."

Kaya was about to argue back when Raven cut in. "It's fine, Kaya. We can look and walk at the same time."

"Great, now come on," Clarke repeated and went back to her brisk pace.

"Fine. You heard her _come on_," Kaya said and pushed Raven to continue walking.

"Hurry up and save the world," Raven said, grinning. "You're just like your mom."

"I'm nothing like my mom."

"Relax. That's a compliment. Abby's a badass. The pod was her idea. It broke her heart not being able to come down with me, but she never stopped believing you were alive."

"Yeah. Mother of the year."

"Yeah, what a terrible mother she is," Kaya said sarcastically. "Mine was too. She had the audacity to die when I was two and leave me with my dad that got me arrested. And if you think my mom is bad, hear Ravens. Come on, tell her about her."

"Well, my mom was AWOL most of my life," Raven said, glancing at Kaya uncertainly. "When she did show up, it was empty-handed. Pretty sure she had me just to trade in my rations for moonshine."

"She did," Kaya spoke up. "I mean, trade your rations for moonshine." Kaya wrinkled her nose, remembering another reason why Kaya hadn't been thrilled about Raven. Somehow, in her ten-year-old mind blamed Raven for having her mom come over where she lived and have all the attention of her father. "My dad was the one who gave her the moonshine and other stuff."

"Oh my God," Raven said, shaking her head in disbelief. "That explains how you got it on my birthday. I honestly thought it had been Finn and he was just giving you the credit."

"Really, Raven? You honestly thought it was Finn? Do you have that little faith in me?" Kaya looked over Raven's shoulder and could see that Clarke was looking at them curiously.

"How'd you survive?" Clarke asked.

"Boy next door. Finn."

"He shared his rations," Kaya said. "Made sure she had clothes. And stopped her from getting into trouble."

"He remembered my birthday," Raven added, smiling. "Saved my life. He's my family. And, I guess so is this one." She jerked her head towards Kaya, who rolled her eyes. "I didn't realize until I was in too deep that those two were a package deal. But I didn't mind. The more the merrier."

Clarke again looked at them strangely and shook her head. They didn't say another word, not even when Clarke found the bunker and opened the door. Raven and Kaya just watched in silence and followed Clarke inside.

Kaya wrinkled her nose at the stench that came from inside. She exhaled, hating how dark and small the bunker felt. Just a week had passed, and she had forgotten the feeling of being trapped. She did not like the reminder.

"How did you find this place?" Raven asked, looking around in awe.

"I didn't. Finn found it."

Kaya looked around the dark place and tried to find something that could be useful. But pretty much everything that was in the bunk was considered useless. Walking along the wall, Kaya jumped when she stepped on something that made a weird squeaking sound. She relaxed when she saw that it was a ragged down. Curious, she crouched down to retrieve it, but then stayed there. In the faint light, she could see that the doll once had blonde hair and a blue dress.

She smiled softly at the doll, still finding it pretty despite its haggard appearance. She had always wanted a doll, but her father had never gotten her one. He thought they were too expensive, and despite her quiet pleas, he ignored her. Instead, on one of her birthdays were she kept hinting she wanted a doll, he got her a box of colored pencils and snapped at her to draw herself a damn doll if she wanted one so badly.

"Kathy," she murmured, smoothing out the thin hair. That had been the name she would have called her doll. Finn had thought it was weird to name her doll after her deceased mother.

_"Such a weirdo,"_ Finn had told her. _"Can't you name her, I don't know, Jane after that book we read?"_

But Kaya hadn't cared what he thought. It was going to be her doll and she would pick the name that she damned pleased. It looked like she was finally getting the one thing she had always yearned for.

"Kaya, found anything?" Raven called out to her, forcing Kaya back to the grim reality.

Kaya cleared her throat and shook her head. "No, not yet," she said.

"Keep looking. Something here has to be useful," Clarke said.

Looking around, feeling self-conscious, she stuffed the doll in her pocket, glad that it was small enough to fit inside her jacket. She stood up and went back to looking around the bunker. Nothing really stood out, and Kaya wondered if they were wasting their time down here.

"Hey, will this work?" Kaya heard Clarke asked. She turned and saw Clarke hand Raven a little toy car.

"Sweet. RF. Radio frequency. If we can just find the controller, we'll be golden."

Kaya's eyes widened and with an "Oh," she scrambled back to the shelf near where she had found Kathy. She had been heading there because something had caught her attention, but completely forgot about, her attention being drawn elsewhere. Kaya rifled through the shelves, throwing the useless to the side carelessly.

"What is she doing?" Kaya could hear Clarke asking Raven. Kaya finally found the control that she had been looking for and made a noise of triumph.

"Here you go," Kaya said, going over to the girls and handing the controller to Raven. "It looks like it hasn't been damaged."

"Alright, Kaya. I knew you find something."

"Great," Clarke said, not sound as excited like Raven. "We should still keep looking."

Kaya nodded, agreeing with her and continued riffling through the boxes that were on the ground. It seemed that there wasn't anything they could use, either it was broken or had no use for their cause. She wrinkled her nose at the stench that was coming from a grimy box. She kicked it with her foot, trying to get it away from her.

"Hey, Kaya, is this yours?" Raven asked quietly. Kaya looked back at her and saw a small little figurine like the one's Finn would make back in the Ark. It was the shape of a deer with two heads, like the one they had seen when they first arrived.

"No, this is new," she said slowly. She pulled it out her owns and compared them. Hers was about nine years old while this one looked brand new.

"So, it's not yours," Raven said stiffly.

"He probably got inspired," Kaya offered, but Raven wasn't listening to her. She was wearing an odd expression like she was piecing together a difficult puzzle.

"Finn made this," Raven said loudly, gaining the attention of Clarke.

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. Uh, we saw this two-headed deer our first day on the ground. Welcome to paradise, right?"

"Got it," Raven said. Kaya glanced at her, something about her off. "Finn always does that. Finds the beauty in the unexpected."

"Good to go?" Clarke said and started making her way out of the bunk. Kaya cast Raven a look and, without a word, followed Clarke. She could hear Raven from behind make a comment about saving the world.

* * *

Back at camp, Clarke promised them that she would come back and immediately left, off to check up on the others. Raven didn't waste time. She got to work immediately with Kaya trying to help out as much as possible.

But even occupied with her task, Kaya could tell there was something bothering Raven, she just wasn't sure what it was. She knew that her strongest suit wasn't reading people, but knowing Raven for a long time, she knew something was wrong.

Her level of excitement had dropped drastically within the span of a few minutes. Raven hadn't spoken a word to Kaya since Clarke departure. She tried to get her attention twice, but Raven was too caught up in her thoughts to hear her.

Kaya tried to recall everything that had happened between the three of them, and couldn't really think of something that caused Raven to become withdrawn. They walked from the camp to the bunker, they talked about Clarke's mom, Finn, and then at the bunker, searched for something that could potentially be useful.

_Oh, and then Raven found Finn's deer,_ Kaya remembered. And it wasn't until she saw Raven holding the bird that Finn made her on their one-year anniversary, that everything to place.

"Oh, shit," she hissed under her breath and glanced at Raven. She turned her body to face the older girl and was about to say something, hoping to salvage something, but stopped. She wasn't sure what exactly was bothering Raven, she could just be exhausted and Kaya would make the situation worse by saying something.

Being a coward, Kaya decided to say nothing. She knew it was better to leave Raven on her own. She would talk to her when she wanted to. And sure enough, a few minutes later, Raven spoke to her.

"I want you to be completely honest with me, Kaya."

Kaya, who at that moment had been fiddling with a few wires, having nothing better to do, stopped and looked at her wryly. "About what?"

"Nothing, you want to tell me?" Raven asked her. Kaya tilted her head thoughtfully and shook her head slowly, not sure what Raven wanted to know. Raven didn't answer right away. She stared at the necklace Finn made her, which made Kaya's stomach drop.

"Raven..."

"We're friends, right? Because that's what I thought we were. I know it took awhile for us to get to the stage where we call each other that, but we got there."

"You know we're friends," Kaya reminded her quietly.

"But you're better friends with Finn. I'm never going to have that loyalty that you have to him. That loyalty where you would lie to protect him."

"Just say what you want to say, Raven."

"Oh. I'm sorry. Is it bothering that I'm telling you something important?" Raven snapped, her eyes flashing angrily. "That I'm deliberately keeping a secret from you? I mean, what the fuck, Kaya? I'm not stupid, I could see you and Finn. Being secretive, fighting. Finn and Clarke. Being secretive too. Clarke and you. I connected the dots. Why didn't you tell me?"

Kaya opened her mouth to make her argument, but nothing came out. She closed her mouth and looked at the floor, ashamed. She was tired of fighting. She never liked confrontation and these past few days that's all she's been doing. It was no surprise she was burned out.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Raven asked so quietly that Kaya thought she had imagined it.

"Why—?"

"I know he told you. Probably asked you if he should even sleep with her." Raven laughed bitterly and shook her head. "Even after all these years, you stay loyal to him. Advise him, protect him, defend him. But, I get it. I'm not—you probably did say something, but don't lie to me when you didn't say anything because you were protecting him."

"I wasn't protecting him. I was protecting you," she yelled out. Raven scoffed, shaking her head in disgust.

"Screw you, Kaya. No you weren't."

"I told him that if he didn't tell you, I was going to tell you. Because I know you would have hated him more if you found out by me. I wanted him to tell you," she said but felt terrible for excusing Finn's action. He should have told her sooner. "Raven..."

"Don't," was all Raven could choke out. "Just don't. Just, please, leave. I need to be alone."

She hesitated in leaving Raven alone. Despite, still not being familiar with their surroundings, Kaya still knew more about the dangers that were on Earth and knew what to do if danger appeared. Raven, on the other hand, didn't know about the Grounders, and how much they seemed to want to kill the delinquents.

Raven wanted to be left alone, and Kaya was going to respect her wishes. But she was not going to leave Raven completely alone. She slid down and waited there. Stepping outside, she noticed the sky had become light, showing that it was no longer night. Kaya hoped that the search for Octavia was going well and that no one got lost or hurt.

"What are you doing?" Kaya asked when she saw Clarke walking up to her. "You probably shouldn't go in there."

"Why? What happened?" Clarke asked. "Is there something wrong with the radio? Dammit."

"No, Clarke. This isn't about the fucking radio," Kaya spat, her frustration getting the best of her. Clarke glared at her, not appreciating her attitude and went inside. Kaya could hear everything, making her guilt grow by the second.

Kaya tried to not hear the argument that was happening inside. She didn't want to hear Raven's heartbroken voice. Minutes later, Clarke stepped out of the tent and cast her a weary look.

"Why didn't you tell her about me and Finn?"

"Because she deserved better. She deserved to find out by Finn. But that didn't happen. She had to find out by herself. And in case you're wondering, yeah, I'm such a shitty person. God, I mean, I could have prevented all of this, but I didn't because I'm worthless," Kaya said bitterly, kicking a root.

Clarke looked at her in alarm. "Kaya, don't say that. She's just mad right now. She'll get over it."

"When? When I'm dead? That's when she'll forgive me? Thanks, another reason to die."

Clarke flinched at her harsh tone. "No. No. Just please don't overreact. What are you doing, Kaya? You're going to make it worse."

Kaya had been picking incessantly at the cut she had on her right hand. She could see blood seeping from the bandage. "Sorry," she muttered and forced herself to drop her hand.

"Do you want me to bandage it?"

"No. I'm good," she said quickly. Kaya didn't mind the pain, it comforted her those seconds where she could only feel one emotion instead of five at a time.

"Are you sure?" Clarke eyed her warily. "It could get infected."

"I said I'm good," Kaya insisted firmly. "You should go. You're probably needed."

"Not really," Clarke said. "Kaya—"

"I'm not going leave her alone," Kaya said, settling in her spot. Clarke nodded in understanding and started walking away. She paused and turned back to look at her.

"Despite what you think, you're a good friend."

Kaya didn't say anything, simply watched Clarke turned around and walk back to the camp. Kaya knew that Clarke words were meant to comfort her but they only seemed to make her more anxious.

_She's fine_, Kaya told herself. She could hear movement happening from inside the bunker, which meant Raven was trying to occupy herself. She didn't have to worry about her. Raven was strong, nothing would knock her down. Not her deadbeat mother. Not a crash landing. And especially, not two delinquents teenagers who depended on _her._

Raven said she wanted to be alone, but she never said to leave the perimeter. She was going to respect her friends wish while making sure she didn't do something stupid.

She rested her head against the tree trunk and closed her eyes, letting her body relax. Kaya could feel her body getting heavy, and after not being able to sleep well for the last few days, she knew that at any second, she was going to fall asleep. She had forgotten how tired she was. Not only physically, but mentally.

Kaya hated how difficult it was to put her mind at ease. Back in the Ark, it had been difficult, only having herself for company, and occasionally the guard that would show up, but she only had to worry about herself. Here, there was always something that put her on edge. She hated that.

Kaya felt horrible and clumsily pulled out the old doll from her jacket pocket, feeling comforted having her nearby. If only she had found a doll sooner, she would have taken out all her anguish on her than her arm. She squeezed the doll so hard, she felt her nails rip the seams of the old cloth. She didn't loosen her grip, only clutched the ragged doll to her chest, in hopes that it would bring her some comfort.

"Being alive is so difficult," she told her new companion. "Was it even worth surviving our crash landing? I mean, if we had died I wouldn't have found Wells body which would have prevented me being scarred for life. I wouldn't have to deal with Finn cheating Raven and me losing my virginity to this guy that I don't even like that much. Or Octavia missing. Why is everything happening?"

Kaya heard a loud noise approaching her and she pushed herself up, her right hand going to her back pocket where she had her flimsy knife. Kaya gripped it tightly

"Kaya. Kaya!" Clarke gasped and stopped in front of her. "I'm so glad that I found you. I need you to come with."

"What? Do you need Raven? No, wait. Did they come back? Did they find Octavia? Is someone hurt?" Kaya rushed towards Clarke, expecting the worst but hoping for the best.

"What? No, It doesn't matter about that. You need to come with me."

"Clarke, what's wrong?"

"Thomas, they found him," Clarke said in a rushed voice. Kaya felt her stomach drop at the reveal. She knew that something terrible must have happened. Nothing good ever happened to them. "He's really hurt, I think he's going to die."

Not even with the appearance of Thomas seemed to bring good news. Kaya had a feeling this was just the beginning of the down spiral. And she was right, everything was going to go from bad to worse.

* * *

**Not much Kaya and Bellamy this chapter, but I really had fun writing Kaya and Raven interacting. I really want to show their relationship and how much they mean to each other.**

**So, speaking of exploring relationships: is there anybody that you would wish Kaya would talk to more? I want to hear more about what you guys want to see more about.**

**Thanks for the reviews, follows and favorites. It means a lot to me and can't wait to hear what you have to say about this chapter. Also, I'm sorry that if you reviewed and I didn't respond.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the 100. Just my OC's and anything original.**


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